Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas
If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas
If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas
Ebook292 pages6 hours

If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now: True Stories from Calabasas

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

3/5

()

Read preview

About this ebook

Soon to be the Netflix Series "Calabasas" — from Kim Kardashian, Marlene King, and Emma Roberts

"An unfiltered, thoughtful, and witty insider’s perspective on the suburb that birthed the Kardashian-Jenners and the Bling Ring.” ―The Daily Beast

If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now
is an insider’s collection of funny and warmhearted stories about coming of age in the Los Angeles suburb famed for birthing the Kardashian-Jenners and the Bling Ring


For Via Bleidner, transferring to Calabasas High from the private Catholic school she’s attended since second grade is a culture shock, not to mention absolutely lonely. Suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar world of celebrities, affluenza, and McMansions, Via takes a page from Cameron Crowe and pretends she’s on a journalism assignment, taking notes on her classmates and jotting down bits of overheard gossip.

Getting through high school in Calabasas is something else—from Kim Kardashian endorsing the students’ favorite hidden lunch spot, to the theater program hiring a famous dog to play Elle Woods' Chihuahua in its production of Legally Blonde, and Kanye trying to take control of your school to make it the very first YEEZY institution.

But instead of floating through high school detached from her peers, Via finds that putting herself out there—for her writing, of course—just might have been exactly what she needed. She unexpectedly finds an eclectic group of friends to call her own, including a multi-multi-millionaire, a wild-card throwback intent on going viral, a former Disney actor, and a doughnut-dealing madman.

With wit, candor, and sharp observations, twenty-one-year-old Via grounds the surreal glamour of Calabasas with reflections on her own coming-of-age, sharing her teenage misadventures as she struggles to fit in, faces crushing social pressure, and eventually makes her own way.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateAug 10, 2021
ISBN9781250753922
Author

Via Bleidner

Via Bleidner is studying Writing and Literature at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She lives in Isla Vista. When she’s not writing, she’s shotgunning Bang Energy, dodging the debt collector, and badgering her professors for homework extensions. If You Lived Here You’d Be Famous By Now is her debut.

Related authors

Related to If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now

Related ebooks

Humor & Satire For You

View More

Related articles

Related categories

Reviews for If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
3/5

1 rating0 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

    Book preview

    If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now - Via Bleidner

    jcbook_preview_excerpt.htmlu|ے8aMmfk֦IKY*tMDD$X|ļg7̗9#U]L~9~܁|1/|6M}+7Mѵm ?ߩBsuw[?^W }1֧Mi”)j})]*>1MTѷu|u< 7`.~i)mM8wv\.(1WB6~?z9#6WM9Sm{/qj$iaT: B}? r}mrvT=:A6'Tp]9a)ǹ7T(HRt:6a @6K!mtF W )tH2~XE>bDT89h3jStl7%|3g—pp ns]'hhX 3Q*;a Q\1rlߏn)~"-U^ u.a:!+]x gY_""A1_]pOS53H cwPhx?cDv <59(+_͘Ѻ ZяkخD #3^a?0}r[%<#UGj Z}7 ѺЀ~\;>kF +|DUbL+hIE4paSd!N5aH.Hi9U`2ρ{%an#LZΦpOOm7>8^<01]' {&G~UÝKs $ no"@'j,acJr/0 baQK": p&IUJdmPzCSƝ@W]Cti&{*ʹeXe||:mPOG%ߠ>׵S" 01,.h MvbCAA '(l6| %Ƅ%2A1+ ]`!HT=O `erKRFvmq ˏa$^D> da{t$ÕKCXL <7'|4isU0K(k07f9T`M99n⧐#ΎEpΖc+DO\h2j(?aM9?gFG,xc*3FžFNrs1uADXZם _2-ϝrھ1 lm'sd9F0>Gf;3߽wO?[o/E*;ހcV=J(@s+L^q Ah Q1z?ptyQH6H?''6ضIz B>TjQs j#:FURPvhѥ*)39x1cŪhQO'nZ%%4-13P9|th=B5}4y"f!&>bm 4S99 E[t1IF}-Djc@XNoecƜѧHivn ~A`*Talzf \=#E)|19C/ Ef#Q܉LPrum }"#/[CDMxf&Ft37a'#P,+imܰd;'| '93#a =D,:\%3qTC٥4,=y ~m<~6p#dž/ʊ9gШ}7)Ÿ&QD|6?mK[5@a-[;9,=969d%vAP +NFbI[Xe+Xhw| T.l8Qb顢yLg"GA-5%E]BfMQ"1ٳ vZ(lX6o-oƷF3̰Y0-T:>Я n职͌_vVZ!)| Z Ky̌Iͅ7mX2]L9 !K=%FB/0i ^e cMʱ]3u}旦d,P/Wx.<׎mDnI֩׫{A@B#9]t,+_cz3&S+}$+ު ;u "?>maLqp׺y0h4`TF~SS@)1a4ayкS[{T6|ˆ\ (vNrtƾ@Jm)R;cnJܛ%ؘRQhNTPf&YJRER6@rB-3y(*&rœ}y,ޖ@/&k҂Z3)a~g|V!_d1A,&L%RTdX5iC*K"8s¼7˙#ʅY:8W|iew-d ' 32v !qRe]`UV1H,1`  O^Eef6GiL n |ַ #Sr oFW4_%B oT,IYBUZ_g,d$n)lXķj98HV(hXΧL&n9~JygoƖKG# `Bv^ezZA X-K(|m[xW|].p=peBë3#mq0Ġ& 7 9L1^I~[Q ûZϔK3%=g=C5;PF {(\:!0!3(Dru˜&v1 ,orř[+xS~!i"wѳ+FR(i<)Q;=@vZ Tr8): 'Q1TA,5SW/=q*]-HV51 VDZ/*  aV*@BQmr=W?9G[_^|ͳO{ڛb[xD! 8yMށg~.Nۿ}, ]9GM&b_ĎZ1_B(H&R>?ϫO?ԕfi1tҰY2//AWҌx.uOB'~.ygC޻nJ,KKܡ3_}fz0ΐG4ht#P"a>m*eBlҧ¬2 sʷl74ؼ=fcI(ssXacޭa]D3{a h2EP/Mܨwl3XbWC/5i̔no,e_'o;6_Fޅ[Z1_[>g-T6uYX.@v\ٳ?(9W흚y.*JkMQ/[uo};M/s|fӭ/ Q2Җ& oȇ7կVɔIS LGզD<4LppnCMFvv4x0_`'tnd+ɑm_RXuЇ&xȕRAM,T9ʁp͜o3o8Q[9z;R652 8d*;2 ^/f>GW;I9!}3G(s!َ+g|)=2êDr Dv|2{\K$s"q d2qK@9InN5c:9|[ZoV\'΂#ɝ C)а$e>\0N[e=PRs%hl2-l]f.;.#ȣڮ̘ܨM `!WX.cn9zP h?b^>*4OO#o9ɕ#gxVXTV)?)ٶ;v`\sʛ[m]ؕҴb&M~Hr ,ƃTXi~7%E_~86C jo.'װ/* G-a:MPisŻ* hfe|swZS&b8-YG^wNJ<ma5B<2en̽M24@"0/`jx^z-LGCOcYSYr$uM}_ J7CEކ؂mRs3MNV+ }<8 xu$d-mU%9 _nr uu{E+,ևVRp ]|]nȔ}%0-!Uڋ\?q>_t/q[$ncfGjh /Vj[. Lb_y ܫt~ӽV=&1z%a$y f$RlnJ])Oi ZΘ1y$#yzn(ݫ"o ]ւc33,"_ܿ6wBq4G1Ys{TȥB}Թ>ؐTj;3rZ uO!M0Ξ I[W[6s>;@#NFq("xu&VF޷)qT=,|DN66V\ <,oK7ش?Cp5i?"y?2+jδrnG'9\dYF;L(/vJ` eRnY3YYk7kF-=SU-X9!W]iӪW΄ 0Ek@k}X~U>W"Ϥ8+:CIX% -a'(Ȑ|[9|dd]7ڀq@{PYI1إ'S<;XB_|P8:;b)7S@(_Uϐ2MK MLw+%[\´r=P?L eƵdjjVBG_Jtl,{П Jvo>Oupk(ҳW%hT<Omx Ql:Uu2l9ف5@]uOh*AE]m^Dc^rX yZų;]y7/>=&L~Ul tEK39fi<i#|5[2KS!QUd W;}NCYgy-/8AUOЫkyyIy0N r֫A Dž'lttM *L'U٧5\O0`ފ|5;K9ٟ‹n_<)v:@lYa=`J[߲qGu =}\T727 VhZǏYwҨU\Ơ> @,vqʪ֊(lQa}#e5`U:[kr'ddp\Q3FŇlZexlp<}=m-_]hL]Lθ@6pؤyŶҔψ>omO3͘5[/=;h{\I~| c rYK8b2!lst UM#Zrk^x՛z{HbO iIs~:r`~:J޵|ۇ ,T}9|(S9i$CtZK~4듪yğOx䖿n| W?>{?* Lұ%QݤP%/@t.o#ѐ7Q#4*)Jr*vLbPI2SrS=!Vtn}8xzbhd)L[b u$䴈݄Bq 隂y{+n0 H^;]S[-H ENh|iX_V%riEFe^D2mu'F1)UV55XUαtLmmc>$^BHl| K?y$S>l񌋉1l6{&wd߰@ }OB<1uZmo(ҁvb;roa|u/I=σT4:ǁkZlR|ӕ5H뷂n@VMQ;Slf /a6It:xbJ=:[:nvKIGtMRbe= ,)MiP|+lz(j_d [:][87V{XI }J4̿KX|kf@1w0qVh\~9'PO$T| UvCX,1FEX?$1[-J7dry. n<>|#!ov]6*)~fy.NH U7~f"=:9jHZQ ?ICPlO?!χui;1F~GA7՛Cݞm 4;0 DHoJed'anׯ`G"(]êLWkaB#C:FӪ'c疴Ndʤ/.< re&M)4UCV%ld_L !+oLs6R+:XV/˾QLܩ)竳l)LkE Ȍ Z MW
    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1