The Concierge Melbourne

By Simon Yahya

Inspired by True Events: A concierge team works to deliver their daily task when one day their routine is disturbed by a gangster named Snake. Events unfold with funny situations, such as back stabbing and secrets amongst the residents which are kept hidden away by the concierge. Eventually Snake gets caught, desperately he throws the money bag and drugs in the bin chute, found by the concierge the drugs are handed over but not the money. rumors has it that the money is still in the building hidden away in a wall somewhere. The concierge had to do for their retirement. The building however, still stands in Melbourne, and the concierge team is still doing what they do best, and that is keeping secrets of their residents while their future fund is stashed away.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon Yahya
• Release date: Jan 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215215432

Book preview

Dear reader...

Due to the silly laws that were put by man, I’m afraid that I’m obliged to say that the story is fictitious.

This would include the name of the building, the gangster who is awaiting trial, the owners and the characters in general.

This would also include the events, from money—$2 million—hidden in the building which is still standing, and the events surrounding it.

But, for you, my reader, I will have to say that if the building does exist, it is still standing and might not be pulled down till after the coronation of King Charles III.

Last but not least, I will have to say that Delta Goodrem had nothing to do with the El Cartel.

I hope you enjoy the story.

The Building

Somewhere in Melbourne...

Stretching up high in the sky, one cannot but see the 25-year-old Melbournian building doing well for its age. Forty-five floors of assorted apartments, ranging from one bedroom to four bedrooms, cater for the different demographics of Melbourne. Some apartments do have balconies and some don’t. Some have lounges and some don’t. Although a lot of them are small and some are advertised as large as the Plaza, the complaints and the dissatisfactions are plenty. The building, like many in Melbourne, comes with a swimming pool, which is on the fourth floor above its humble sized car park. A gym is attached to it to complement its amenities with a small tucked away round the corner balcony a small barbeque that always goes amiss.

The building stretches to the heavens like an old oak tree in a concrete jungle. An urban building in a nowadays considered a prime property lot, which if pulled down would be worth millions of dollars. Melbourne had been a quiet urban living until the construction companies discovered it again. And it seems like the building itself had become a target for nouveau developers. A lot of money had poured into Melbourne from its giant neighbour called China. The procedures of pulling down a building is not easy in Melbourne. One ought to get a thousand and one signatures from thousands of departments before even stepping into a blueprint. Another way is to deem the building unsafe which would become interesting in the following events.

The building is run by a group of dedicated workers called the Concierge. The concierge team is the life of the building. They are there to make sure that the building is running like a tight ship. Every morning, the morning shift makes sure that everybody gets their hot water. The pipes as well as the pumps are checked every morning, and temperatures are taken down and monitored. This would include the temperature of the swimming pool and the gym. The water pumps are also checked to ensure that the pressure of the water is to its utmost—water pumped on the right pressure ensures the happiness and the content by the residents. In general, the water consumption in Melbourne reaches levels of madness. Over four hundred apartments are guaranteed water every day, every hour, imagine Melbourne and its 6 million residents!

The electricity timers and metres are also checked by the concierge. People cannot live without their electronics. The lights, lifts and every television and appliance in the building run like a city. The automatic doors and cameras are all tied up to the electricity, and its success is by running those 24-7. The surveillance system cannot be shut down, not even for a minute. The gates are linked to the surveillance system as well as the security system.

The very guts of this mini-city, or ship as described, is a chute that runs like a spine from the top of the building to the basement. Hollow tube chute that is the bin-chute. It is the guts of the building where all the residents empty their rubbish into. There are chutes on every floor, that ends up in the basement where the big bin gathers all the rubbish in. It is the nightmare of both the concierge and the cleaner of the building. The chute, as signs say, is not for recycles such as glass bottles and cans. Nor is it meant for cardboard boxes. The nightmare is when the chute is blocked by cardboards of pizzas, or parcels. The agony is when you have to unclog it. It had become such a nightmare that the concierge had made it an art. Professionalism lies in unclogging the chute. Imagine a half ton of waste accumulated over several floors. Gushing water, known as the diarrhoea solution, might do the trick. In fact, the smell and stench of the bin room in the basement had become so normal that the concierge had got used to it. There are even seasons when the smell changes. For instance, the month where there are newborns, the bins get filled with diapers, imagine the smell! Then there is the Christmas season where it would smell like rotten fish market from the shrimps and fish. Then there is the rugby seasons where it gets filled up with alcohol and bottles. Some residents never abide by the rules, nor the guests who stay temporarily.

The concierge also takes care of the mail and parcels for the residents, as well as monitoring deliveries of furniture and food for the residents. This will include the contractors moving in and out of the building. The issuing of security passes as well as checking work assigned to contractors working around the building.

The building gets maintained by many handymen as well as contractors ordered in by residents. There are the painters, technicians, electricians, plumbers, builders, and the flower delivery service as well. All the above get their passes and permission from the concierge.

The concierge is the front line of the building. This should be taken literally. They are the ones who get shouted at when a delivery from the postman goes missing or wrong. They get told off when  allowing an ex-partner in the building results in a breakup; the concierge was supposed to know that the relationship was over, somehow?

The concierge gets blamed for anything the concierge cannot control. If it rains in Melbourne, the concierge has clearly failed to put out an alert. If it’s hazy due to bush fires, the concierge did not help put out the fires! The concierge is to accept the blame with a smile and not, and this is important, not object to the fact that the circumstances were out of their hands.

The building, like many in Melbourne, also had a name. In the beginning, the building plans had been printed without a name. The company that started the project wrote on the plans: The Building.  Over time of construction, the name was registered as The Building, and had been known