Dăm Bài Thơ Hài Hước (Humorous Poems)
By Hoang-Long Le and Tu-Anh Ngoc Le
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About this ebook
This poetic book contains about 200 humorous poems. Different types of social phenomena are presented. They are composed in compliance with the author's concept of those phenomena. Humorous poems are satirical ones which have tastes of ridicule, sarcasm, satire, irony, wit
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Dăm Bài Thơ Hài Hước (Humorous Poems) - Hoang-Long Le
1. Nội Thanh, Ngoại Lão
Em tuy già nhưng hồn xuân phơi phới!
Ngực nhăn nheo nhưng nhựa sống còn căng!
Tim chai đá nhưng hồn còn rung động!
Xuân đã tàn nhưng thèm ước trai tơ!
Cho thoả mãn vì đời sao quá ngắn!
Chợt xuân thì nay đã sớm xế chiều!
Thú nhảy đực
trời cho em không bỏ!
Chơi thoả lòng trong cơn lốc tình si!
Em ướm hỏi có chàng nào chịu nổi.
Hãy cùng em chơi biển cạn sông mòn.
Cùng quên hết sự đời bao rắc rối!
Vướng làm chi cho lòng nhẹ thênh thang
Hoang-Long Le, 11/12/2011
Dị Tặc Lão Nương
------------------------------------------
Cua Luong Lời thơ hay.
Phạm Thị Lan Anh Tuyệt vời.
Chây Kỳ wow!
1. Young Inside, Old Outside
I was old, but my heart is young!
My breast wrinkled, but my body teems with sap of life!
My heart was stone-hard, but my soul retains arousal.
My life faded, but I crave for young guys!
To be satiated because life is too short!
No sooner does youth come than old-age does!
I cannot rid myself of the pleasure of mating
given by Heaven!
To be pleased in whirls of crazy sex!
I wonder if someone can endure it,
Enjoy it with me until the sea empties, and the river erodes!
Together, we forget all tribulations caused by the life.
To relieve our hearts of them!
(A Weird Old-Lady = Dị tặc lão nương)
2. Học Xuống Dốc
Đại học ngày nay có ích gì!
Học hành đúng đắn để mà chi!
Xì tiền có được ngay bằng cấp.
Tội vạ gì đâu phải dự thi!
Hoang-Long Le, 01/07/12
Nền giáo dục Việt Cộng thời nay.
2. Declination of Education
How useless the university level is!
To gain nothing if there is a righteous education!
Degrees are bought with money.
How valueless the examination is!
Note
* Education of Việt Cộng (Communist Vietnamese) today.
3. Bác Đỗ Mười
Bác Đỗ nhà ta quả có tài!
Vô bưng kháng chiến
cả đời trai.
Văn chương, chữ nghĩa đâu cần biết!!
Chủ Tịch oai phong há sợ ai!!!
Hoang-Long Le, 01/08/12
Một trong những nhân vật tai to, mặt lớn VC sau 75
3. Uncle Đỗ Mười
How talented Uncle Đỗ Mười is!
Living in a resistance zone all his life.
Although he was illiterate!!
How awesome it is to be President!!!
Đỗ Mười, the Chairman of the Vietnamese Communist’s country was a pig-catrator. Ho Chi Minh elimanted intellects but employed the social classes of farmers and factory workers. The emblem of the communism is a sickle and a hammer.
4. Khúc Ruột Vạn Dặm
!
Việt Minh, Việt Cộng, Việt kiều
Trong ba Việt ấy, Đảng yêu Việt nào?
Việt Minh tuổi tác đã cao.
Việt Cộng ốm yếu, xanh xao, gầy mòn.
Việt kiều như gái còn son,
Ngu sao lại bỏ gái non chọn già!!
Lại thêm có lắm đô-la.
Việt vong vội vã đổi ra Việt tiền!!! (đáng… yêu!)
Hoang-Long Le, 01/09/12
Chú thích
* Thêm 4 câu sau
4. A Long-Distance
Relationship!
Việt Minh, Việt Cộng, Việt Kiều;
Whom of them does the Party love (the) most?
Việt Minh was too old!
Việt Cộng is feeble, pale, and thin!
Việt Kiều is a young girl!
Not foolish to prefer the old to the young!
Furthermore, the young rich in dollars.
Hence, the Party changes, in a hurry, exiled
Vietnamese into monetary Vietnamese!!! (lov…able!)
Notes
* Khúc ruột vạn dặm
: a long-distance
segment of intestine (literally translated); in a figurative meaning, ruột, thịt
(intestine, flesh) means relationship
. Việt Cộng: Communist Vietnamese; Viet ngoại: overseas Vietnamese (non-naturalized); Việt Nội: Domestic Vietnamese; Việt Vong: Exiled Vietnamese; Việt Kiều: Vietnamese foreigner (naturalized or citizen at birth); người ngoại, kiều nhân: foreigner; Việt Minh: League of Nationalist Vietnamese into Communist Vietnamese in 1945.
5. Thủ Tục Đầu Tiên!
Muốn vợ, phải có trầu cau,
Muốn xin chữ ký mau mau thuộc lòng
Đầu tiên thủ tục
phải thông!
Ngơ ngơ, ngáo ngáo, chẳng xong đơn từ!
Bởi
Việc quan đâu phải việc chơi
Muốn quan ấn ký, vài lời với quan.
Lệ này phải biết lo toan,
Nhớ đừng sao nhãng, kẻo quan bất bình!
Hoang-Long Le, 01/10/12
5. First Procedure!
To get married, betel leaves and arecas must be offered.
To get an official's signature, one must learn by heart
The first procedure
!
If foolish, his file will be committed to oblivion!
Because
The official affairs are very important!
To get the signature of an official, one must bribe the official.
He must know this code ahead,
If he neglects it, the official is angry!
Notes
* Word play in Vietnamese: Thủ Tục Đầu Tiên
* Thủ Tục Đầu Tiên (first procedure) into Thủ Tục
Tiền Đâu (a wordplay in Vietnamese)
* Procedure of where money is means bribe.
6. Đảng Cướp Giao Chỉ
Đảng ta cướp đất dân đen,
Cho ngoại thuê mướn, nhiều phen kiếm tiền.
Kêu oan, kếu ức thêm phiền,
Công An ập tới, chúng xiềng chân tay.
Thôi đành chịu kiếp ăn mày,
Kẻo thân tù tội biết ngày nào tha!
Hoang-Long Le, 01/10/12
6. Giao Chỉ Robbery Party
The Party robs people of their lands,
It leases them to foreigners for money.
People's complaints are void,
Its Public Policemen rush to hand-cuff them
They abide poor lives
Or they will be imprisoned without release!
Note
* Giao Chỉ: the two big toes of the left and right feet of the Vietnamese pointed to each other. A feature of the Vietnamese a long long ancient time ago. Hence, Giao Chỉ (taboo) means Vietnamese. In the time of French colonists, anamite (taboo).
7. Cái Bang Giao Chỉ
Cái bang khắp chốn lang thang,
Vai bị, tay gậy hành trang ăn mày.
Đảng ơi, Đảng hỡi, có hay
Nhờ Đảng dẫn dắt, ăn mày đời tôi?!
Đảng từng róng mỏ khua môi.
Cứu dân thoát cảnh tôi đòi ngoại bang.
Giờ đây Đảng chẳng ngó ngàng
Bận rộn tham nhũng, đo gang đếm tiền!
Hoang-Long Le,