Get Off the Bus: Bulls*!t Undermining Your Success

By Leonard Wallace

Get off the Bus was a wake-up call for me to realize that no matter what you as a human being may be facing in your life you have to now and again slow down and re-evaluate where u are heading. And if you find yourself going in circles or just riding life daily routines without any of the goals you set be

• Language: English
• Publisher: Leonard Wallace
• Release date: Dec 21, 2022
• ISBN: 9781959071723

Book preview

GetofftheBus

(Bulls*!t UnderminingYour Success)

WrittenBy

L.A. WALLACE

Co-editor:J.A.Cooper

ISBN:978-1-959071-30-3(paperback)ISBN:978-1-959071-31-0(hardcover)

Copyright©2022byL.A.Wallace

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed,ortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,includingphotocopying,recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior writtenpermission ofthe publisher.

PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica

PREFACE

Life’sawonderfulthingonceyouarefamiliarwithyoursurroundings. We get so comfortable in our routines andfamiliar faces that we lose track of who we are and where wewanttogo inourlife.

I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder andrebooted back to the streets. Without any support from UncleSam, I began to realize that I just did not get PTSD from theservice;it’sbeenwithmeallmylife.

Comewalkwithmeandseemyworldfrommyeyesthen you be the judge. R.I.P to all our lost Hood Heroes andcountlessotherswholeftussoearly.

ThisbookisalsodedicatedtoallthehoodHero’sthatare still here with us, for example Bust a Bust and Greg theBrainSmith.Thankyoufortakingastandshowingotherslikeyourselfthatthestreetsarenotalwaystherightchoiceinlife.It is not what you do in life but it’s how you do it. Remembersomeoneisalwayswatching.

SUMMARY

Get Off the Bus was a wakeup call for me. I realized that nomatter what you as a human may be facing you have to slowdown. Re-evaluate where you are and where you want to go.Just as you seem to find yourself going in circles. Seeing allyourdreamsandfriendspassingyoubythenyesthatiswhenyouhavecometotherealizationthatinfactunbelievably,you’reontheBUS!

A bus route you say. Yes, just like a bus that starts andends at point a is a circle. In fact, the BUS I am speakingabout are the things in which we indulge in that take awayfrom the focus of what we are aiming for ourselves. It couldbe numerous things or just one. Either way it’s in your way ofconductingyourgoals.

ApastoroncetoldmetoreceivemyblessingsIhadtoletgoofmyDemons.Wellheretheygo,youcanhavethemall.I thank God to be here to see the seven year anniversary ofmy first book. Now sit back and enjoy this journey as I walkyouthroughmyhometowninalittleneighborhoodcalledParkPlaceinthecityofNorfolk,Va.

DEDICATION

IwouldliketothankGodforbeingmybeaconthroughlifeandmysavior.Mygrandfatherwasinacomaandwastoldhewouldnever walk again. Well once came out of his coma he walkedagain.Hehasbeenmyinspirationeversince.TomymotherfornothavinganairconditionerduringthosehotVirginiasummersleavingmenochoicebuttohanginthelibrarythankyou.

To family members that were there for me I salute youand for those of you who did not answer my calls well let usjustsayexpectthesamesmile.Tomydearex’sItoldyouthisday would come but you all laughed at me and left me dry.Well, I hope you have invested well because this my friend isthe end. To my family and loved ones who were lost cousinsRay-Ray,Trisha,Diana,LilDave,andMike.

Lastly my children who by now are all grown. I have paidmylifeforthemtohavewhatIdidn’tasachild.Nowit’syourturntotakethisbooktothenextlevel.Neverletthemseeyousweatandjustrememberthefinishlineiswhereyoumakeit. And last but not the least I can not forget Quincy Gardner,oneofthetalentedwritersfromtheHBOspecialTHEWIRE.Heshowedmehowtoformulatemythoughtstocomposethis book. Thank you for seeing something inside of me that Icouldn’tsee.

TABLEOFCONTENTS

Preface      3

Summary      4

Dedication      5

Chapter 1      Norfolk’sBastard Son      9

Chapter 2      TheRoot IsPlanted      13

Chapter 3      Eator BeEaten      18

Chapter 4      LearningtheTruth      26

Chapter 5      Cocainemade thefront Page      34

Chapter 6      Steppingmy game Up      46

Chapter 7      Norfolk’sFirstKingPin      58

Chapter 8      CuttingJokersLoose      83

Chapter 9      GoingSolo      103

Chapter10Becominga Man      123

Chapter11Earnedmy Wings      134

Chapter12Layingfrom NorfolktoPtown      144

Chapter13Parris Islandup      156

Chapter14Back totheHood      167

Chapter15Whipping itin Gary      183

Chapter16Hell’skitchen      200

Chapter17Goingdowna Dark Path      216

Chapter18Notfalling for theBull      245

Chapter19Learning Norfolkagain      263

Chapter20Newroadin Life      278

Chapter 21Living a Lie      289

Chapter22Fristtimefor Everything      311

Chapter23NewStart      323

Chapter24Back intheSaddle      333

Chapter25Let Godjudge Me      346

Chapter26Gettingan understanding      356

Autobiography      367

CHAPTER1

Norfolk’sBastardSon

As a young kid, Lil Tee knew life as one big question; why istheskymoving?Whatmakesthewindblow?Whocreatedtheworld? And things of that sort. However, the answers nevercameaseasyasthequestions.Hewasaseekerofknowledgeand at an early age he would not rest until his questions wereanswered.

His mother Sharon was 15 years of age when she hadhim and at that time was living with my great grandmother.Her mother was in a nursing home. I was told it was from aladywhowantedmygrandfatherforherselfanddecidedtoputsomething in her food that would make her senseless for therestofherlife.

Because of that I only met her once or twice before herdeath.Ihadseenmanypicturesofher,andshewasabeautifullight skinned woman with long brown hair. My mom lookingbackintimewasexceptionallybeautifulaswellandIsawwhereshegothergoodlooksfrominthepicturesofhermother.

Sharonwasapetitewomanwithanicewarmsmile.Whenyou caught her during a good laugh you could see her deepdimples and the cute gap between her two front teeth. Theearly years were fun as I can remember. My mom worked forBurger World and all the toys that were featured there shewouldbringhometome,andIlovedthem.

AlotoftheotherkidspickedonmebecauseIdidnothaveas much as they did, but I never allowed it to ruin my day. Iknewmymomlovedmeandthatisallthatmattered.Weused

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totakelongwalkstogether.ThesetimesIenjoyedwithherthemost. During these walks I would have her all to myself. Onedayaswewerewalking,Iasked,Mom,whoismyfather?Onthese walks when we were all alone, I figured she would givemeastraightanswer.Butasusualshewillignoremeandthatwasfinetoo.IfIhadhernothingelsemattered.

I can remember snap shots of my father and I as a kid.When I would see my cousins with their dads and my friends’dads visiting them on the weekends and holidays at times, Iwouldaskwhomydadwas?

Didheknowaboutme?OrifheknewIevenexisted?Mymotherwouldneverdownplayhimorspeakillofhimnomatterhow she truly felt about my father. She would simply say hewasouttosea.IfIreallypersisted,shewouldreplyIamhere.Foralongtime,IneverknewwhatshemeantbysayingthatIwouldjustshrugitoffandgoplay.NotknowinganythingmoreabouthimthenIdidbeforeIaskedherhuh.

(Life’s1stbullshit)Neverlettingherresponsesdiscourageorinfluencemyfeelingstowardshim.Ijusttookwhatshesaidasagrainofsalt.NowfromabouttheageoffivetotheageofelevenIhadlivedalieandasIwasgettingolder,alltherealityoflifewasbecomingclearerasitgotcloser.

The earliest I can remember worrying about my shoegamewaswhenIwas11yearsold.IhadanoldpairofPumas.They were so worn out that the top had detached from thesoles. I told my mom that I needed a new pair of shoes. Herreply was if you want things in life, you must work hard for it.Now at eleven I was not aware of any job openings and livingintheprojectsofNorfolkitwasnotanypositivejobsthat’sfordamnsure.

Currentlythepressureoffittinginwithmypeerswasjust starting to form and by me being thirty-six husky peopleweren’t breaking down doors to play with me. We lived inLakelandapartmentswithherboyfriendorwhateveryouwanttocallhim.IwasonlyknownasSharon’ssonsohisnamewillnotappearinthisbookeitherlmao.

OntheweekendswewouldstaywithoneofourrelativesandtheyweremeantomewhenSharonwasnotaround.One

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of our relatives would always blame shit on me just to have areasontospankme.Believemeitdidnottakemuchforhertohave a reason. I was told if you cannot say anything nice wellyougetthepicture.Anywhotheworldwassohugetomeandnotjustinthesinceofmyage.

Betweenthefifthandsixthgradeastatewideannouncement was advertised to all that qualified, Section 8was now accepting applications for housing. Sharon woke meupataroundthreeamandsaid,wehadtowalktogetonthelist for an apartment. I had to hurry up because they wereonlytakingthefirstthousandapplicationsonthatday.YouhadtobeaNorfolkresidenttosignup.

If you missed the signing, it could be another ten yearsbefore the opportunity for section 8 came around again. Wewalked from Lakeland in Norview to the Southern ShoppingCenteronTidewaterDriveandLittleCreekRd.DamnIthoughtmylegswouldfalloff,butwemadeitandIwasglad.

Therewasaladytherethatwebothknew.HernamewasKitty.Shewasaniceyoungwhiteladywiththreelittlekidswholived in the next building beside us. My mom spoke to her butwonderedwhyshedidnotofferusaride.Theybothdrankandgothightogether.

But,asalwaysSharonsaid,Iwillprayforher.Itwasourturn next. At the desk, the lady asked a lot of questions and Ithink it kind of made my mother a little uncomfortable. Everynowandagainshewouldlookdownatme,smileandsqueezemytinyhand.Thensay,babyyouaregoingtohaveyourownroom and get a lot of new friends. It did not matter to me. Ifshe was happy, I was happy. After all, she had me so young.She was really like a sister more than a mother. Which mademeloveherthatmuchmore.

She was so young that we did everything together andpeople always asked if I was her brother instead of asking if Iwasherson.Shehadlookedincrediblyyoungforherage.Alotof women were jealous of her because she would turn headswhereverwewent.Youknewshehadtolooktheparttoo.Shedidnothaveawholelotofclothestoselectfrombutwhenshedidgetdressed,shelookedhot.Shewouldalteralotofher

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outdated clothes and they would look better than the originaloutfitin the store.

AfterwemadeitthroughtheinterviewfortheSection8 apartment sign up it was time to make that walk back toLakeland.DamnIthoughtIwasgoingtopassout.Thesunwasnowup,anditwasnotplayingeventhetreesweregaspingforair.Luckily,theygaveusdrinksandsnacksatthesign-updesk.Now if we could have found some shade this trip would nothavebeenashorribleinthatheat.

CHAPTER2

TheRootIsPlanted

That summer, school ended, and two things happened to methat changed my life forever. My childhood crush had movedto California all the way to the other side of the world. Ok thecountrybutIwasakid,whichwasfartome.SofarIbelievedthat at that time I would never see her again and if I did itwould only be in my dreams. The second thing was that mymom’s Section 8 was approved. Well at least I thought I wasfinallymovingtoabetterandmorestablecommunity;boywasIin fora shock.

WearrivedinParkPlacetoatanbrickfourfamilyapartment building. There in black numbers was 310 west30th street. Seeing Apt. 2 on the door of the new apartmentbuildingmademeextremelyexcited.Anewschool,friends,andplaces to explore (there were a lot of abandoned houses andcars throughout the neighborhood, and I planned on runningthroughthemall).IthoughtIwasinheaven.

In the beginning all that we had were the clothes wepackedafewpotsandcleaningsuppliessheboughtalongtheway.OnceinthenewapartmentshetoldmeIcouldhavethesecond room and that it had bunk beds. I was in heaven forsurenowandIcouldnotwaittohavemyfirstsleepover.

My mom took no time settling in and she invited Coco,Crow,Janet,andPeanut,thisman,afriendofJanet’sandafewotherstocelebratethefreshstart.

She was a step closer to having her own place in life forherandherson.WhenwelivedinLakelandoutNorviewmy

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mom worked at Jack in the Box. By the time we moved theyhadclosedthechainofrestaurantsduetofoodpoisoning.Thehood was devastated. That place was to us as White Castle istopeople up North.

So, in Park Place she did not work, at least not thatsummer. I was going into the sixth grade and if it was not formy grandfather, I would have been outback (no new gear forschool).Sincealotofthetalkbackinthe80’swasaboutAfricanAmericans being the majority on welfare, that the state madethesestay-at-homehoodmomsgetjobsatthelocalschools.

My school was James Monroe, the principal there was nojoke.Hehadaloginhisofficeandifyouwereeversentthereduringschoolhoursthenyouknewthatlogwasnotforsittingon,butitwasforspankings.Itwasnotcalledchildabusethenit was called attitude adjusting. Of course, Sharon was giventhe job of lunch monitor. Lucky me. No really, lucky for melunch was served in the basement. Coming from a normalschoolwhereweeatonthesamelevelasourclassesthiswas quite strange to me. We had three periods for lunch hereandeachshiftwashell.alotofrunning,pushing,andduckinglow hanging pipes is one of the downsides of eating in thebasement.

Also,peopletrytoeithergambleyouforyourlunchmoney

or beat you up for it. Win or lose you must choose your battlewisely.Thereweretwoguyswhoadornedourdepletingcampus.Their names were Man Man and Mac. The two of them had ajoint age of thirty. They shook everyone down and then atelunchwiththestaff,confusinghuh?WellthankstoaffirmativeactionmakingSharonhavetowork,letusjustsayitsavedmylittleblackassonseveraloccasions.

Ihadbecomethesonofthecrazylady.Letmeexplain.Ihadgottenintoafightwithaguyinthehoodbythenamebiglip Donald. My mom found out about the fight. She may have(I did not see it however I was told this.) chased a couple ofpeoplewithamachete.Fromthatdayonnoonereallymessedwith me. Or really played with me too much for that matter.ThatnowexplainsalotofotherquestionsIhadbackthentoo.

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Nowthemonthbeforegraduatingtotheseventhgradeitwasthelastparentteacherconferenceoftheyear.

Thiswasthelastchanceoftheyeartoeitherpullupyourgrades or find out what summer school you will be attending.Sincemymomworkedattheschool,shemadeourappointmentlastafterhershiftendedinthelunchroom.

They made me wait in the hallway as if I was unable tohear them discussing my strengths and weaknesses. Where Iwas standing from, I could hear them as well as see them. ImovedbackjustalittlebitbecauseIdidnotwantmymomtoseemebeingsneaky.

So, I chilled and waited for the conference to end. At thesound of things even I was impressed with what Ms. Holbeinhad told her about my accomplishments. Just as I started todance the dance of satisfaction, I heard a sigh of shock. Itsounded as if my mom had dropped an expensive vase andshewasembarrassedatthefactshewouldhavetoreplaceit.She sounded shocked knowing that she did not have enoughchangeinherpursetopayforthedamages.Thensherushedoutoftheclassroomcrying,pullingmebythearmrushingmedownthehall.Whenwehadarrivedatthenearestexit.

I asked her what did I do? She turned around and said itisnotyou,itiswhatyourteachermentionedtome.Whenshekneeledandlookedmeintheeyes,sheaskedmeifmyclotheswereuncomfortabletome?Iamconfusednow(Iamthinkingtomyselfwhatdoesmyclotheshavetodowithpassingtothe seventh grade? Life’s second question?) I responded nomommathenIrepliedalittletight,butIdonotcare.Asachildyoualwaystoldmetoignorethejokes.

To ignore the picking that came from the other studentsandtodomywork.Thathelpedwhenallthekidswouldmakefun of me. Well, she said your teacher just told me what kindofmotherwouldallowyoutowearthosetypesofgarmentsto school. Well, I said mom if I’m graduating soon, she willnot have to worry about seeing me anymore. I’ll work thissummertoaffordmyownclothes.I’llbeokItoldmymother.Shecalledmeherbigmanforthefirsttime,anditfeltgood.

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Graduation was coming and she was going crazy trying to getmoneyforasuitand shoes.

Shereceivedonehundredandninety-onedollarsamonthincashandtwohundreddollarsamonthinfoodstamps.Yes,the paper bills of all colors. The kids today do not know howembarrassing it is to go to a store and must go through a lineten times to make change. So, your mom can buy beer andcigarettes lord have mercy. Well with her money all spent forwhateverreason.

Like for instance she would give her boyfriend Mooniecontrol of both her food stamps and the cash. Of course, hewould buy food for us after he takes care of himself. For thisand other reasons, I’m going to call it as I see it. He will notreceiveoneounceofaccomplishmentformyachievementsasif he took any time out to reach a little brother. Or any creditforwhomI becamein life.

IcannotsayIdidnotlearnanythingfromhimbecausehedidshowmehowtobeagoodstepdadbyhimbeingahorribleonetome.Thesamewaymybiologicalfathershowedmehowto be a better dad by giving me the example of being a badfather.

Even though it took a while for me to realize no matterwhattheirshortcomingswere,inmylifesoonIwouldhavemyowncrossestobear.Mymomhadtostayoutthenightbeforethe graduation and I was nervous because I had not seen mynewclothesforthebigeventyet.

However, that morning I woke up and on my way to thebathroomtherewasalightgraysuitanddarkgrayshoes,whiteshirt,andatiewithlightanddarkgraystripes.Itdidn’tmatterifitwasfresh.AtthetimeofgraduationmybestfriendSagawas two classes behind me and I looked up from tying myshoesandsomeactofGodhewasrightbesideme.Posingformymomin mypicture.

Smileandsaycheese’mymomyelled,snapandbeforeI could say anything he was back with his class ooh next timeI see him … Sharon said he is your friend, don’t be that way.Okmom"Irepliedandmarchedtotheauditoriumforthe

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ceremony. I never told her, but he was a frenemy (anotherwordforactingasafriendbutsmellsofanenemy).

I did not want to ruin the day, so I shrugged it off andwhenIdid,Irealizedoutofallmyfriendsmymotherwastheonlyparentwhoshowedup.So,IsharedherattentionfornowandI’llenjoymymom’scompanybymyselffortherestoftheday. Afterwards a lot of people came up to me to meet mymom.SagalookedatmeandsaidIwaslucky.UntilIgotolder,I could never understand what he meant. As a kid who hadeverythingakidcouldeverwant.ImeanhewasliketheRichieRich of Park Place, but he envied me huh? (Question of lifenumberthree.)Ihadnothing,atleastIthoughttomyself,butI must have had something. Because he said he was jealousofme.

That meant a lot to me only to be set up for a horribledownfall by my so-called best friend later in life. ProfessorXavier could not have seen what was coming. Hell, I did not,andIknewthemotherfucker.Iamlaughingnowbecauseitis funny. But when I look back on it all it was all at my ownexpensein theend.

CHAPTER3

EatorBeEaten

Graduationpassedanditishotashelloutside.Allmyhomeboyscouldaffordtheboysclub.TheonlytimeIcouldgowaswhenMoonie was around. He would give me the twenty-five centswhich was the cost to get a day pass. Sometimes he wouldgive it to me and other times only if his son was over for theweekend.Hewouldgiveusenoughtogobecausehissonwasthere at our house, and he wanted to appear to be Cool huh!OK.

Halfthetimewhenhissonwasnotvisiting,Ibelievehegaveupaquarterjusttohavethehousetohimself.Thatwayhedidnothavetofeelresponsibleforme.LittledidheknowhalfthetimeIsaidIhadtwenty-fivecentsjustsoIdidnothavetobearoundhimwhilehewasover.So,Iguessweareeven.Thisisthepointofmylifewherethingsgetalittlehazy.MymomallowedamantousethebathroomandneverthoughtanythingwaswronguntilIaskedforoneofthosecouponstogogetasodaandsomechipsfromtheCornerstorePickupthePieces.WhileIamwaitingforhertogivemealist.WheneverIwantedsomething,shewouldmakealistnot just for her but whoever else was outside at the time withher sitting out front drinking beer and smoking weed. She ranout the house screaming Where the fuck Crow’s ass at…….?Sherantoeitherendofourblockonlytoreturnconfusedandupset.Iatthetimewasgoingontwelveandthehoodmademevengefulofmine.ItwasjustherandI,Moonierarely

stayedovernight.

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HisjobwasontheNorviewsideoftown.IneverexpectedMoonietodoanythingbutbitchaboutthefoodstampsanywayandusethatasareasontodistancehimselffromSharonevenmore. This would allow him to have the freedom to do as hepleaseswithoutherknowing(Inlayman’stermssohecoulddohimwithnointerruptions).

A couple of weeks had passed and still no Crow. It is anearly Saturday morning, and all the money niggas will be outsoon by thirty first street right across from Pick up the Pieces.Therehasbeennothingtoeatathomesincethatbullshitwentdown. I am just pacing the blocks waiting to see Mr. Crow.DamnIamstarving.IhadafewpeopleIcouldgovisitandgetsomething to eat from, but I was very upset. I have not seenCrow’sassyet.AftereatingatbigK’shousehisgrandmagavehimanallowance,sohetreatedmeattimeswhenhewenttothestore.OnthewaytoPickupthePiecesIsawCrow’sass.

Yo wait K there he is right there. K replied who? I said,the asshole who stole our money. We ducked between twoduplexesonthirtyfirst&DebreeStreetandwatchedhiseverymove. Yo I said to big K he keeps going in and out of thatmilk carton under the tree between Black hulk’s crib and theoldwhiteman’sapartmentbuilding.ItoldbigKtogogetLilGatesandmeetmebackhere.IwillstayandkeepaneyeonCrow’sass.

Whentheygotback,ItoldGatesaboutwhathappenedafew weeks ago and Gates knew exactly how I felt because hisMom worked with my mother at James Monroe. She receivedaidaswellandiftheroleswerereversed,heknewIwouldbedown to ride with him. Now the plan was to get Crow awayfrom whatever he had in that damn carton, so I said, K givemetenbucks.HepassedthebreadonlyafterIagreedtopayhimback.thenhecougheditover.

Lil Gates gave the ten spot to Crow and told him to buyus three beers and keep the change. He went for it. All theseso-calledhustlerscouldneverturndownadamndimelowlifemotherfucker. I mean we are kids, why not buy us beer forfree?Weallaredoingwrong,damnnohonoramongstthievesItellyou.ItoldGtomakesurehekeepshisbacktoDebreeas

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soonashewalkedtoPickupthePieces,ItoldKtowatchoutandImovedcasuallyovertothestash.

Iwalkedbetweentheapartmentswherelaterthetwokidswho grew up across the street from me were killed (R.I.P. tothem) and the huge apartment building where this scary oldwhiteguylived.Herarelycameoutbutwhenhedid,wewouldboltbecausewewouldhanginfrontofhisbuildingallthetimeandIdonotthinkheenjoyedthattoomuch.

Anyway,asGandCrowreachedthefrontdoorandenteredthestoreIranasfastasIcouldandscoopedupthecarton.I ran down Thirty First Street then jumped Dickey D’s fencebecause our backyards were diagonally behind each other Iwas just hoping him, or his gay ass brother was not home.Those boys were touchy feely a lot if you know what I mean.Back then people just knew not to undress around those twobrothers. I jumped the damn fence, went up the backstairs tomybackdoorandIwashomefree.KandGshowedupabout10minuteslaterwiththecoldbeer.Theyhadeagerexpectationsofwhatwasinthecarton.

Ididnotwanttospoilthesurprise,soIwaitedforthem

tocometomyhouse.MymomhadfinallygotajobatBPgasstationonGranbyStreetacrossfromCityPark,BelowandSeven Eleven. I had the place to myself till about eleven ortwelveo’clock(luckyformesheworkedthethirdshift).

Well,you’llbereadytoseewhat’sinside?IaskedKandhe did not want anything to do with the beer or what was intheboxhejustwantedhistendollarsback.AllhecaredaboutwasgoingtothedowntownGranbyStreetmalltobuycomics.Wejokewithhimallthetimebutthetruthofthematterisnoneof us could afford to buy comics. We would always tease himandpickonhimaboutwastinghistimeandmoneyonsomeoneelse’sdreams.Boywerewewrong.However,whenhegotthelatestcomics,weallwouldcrowdaroundhimashereadeachonealoud.Thosewerethegoodolddays.Eventhehardestguyin the bunch would stop to listen to what was happening withalltheheroeslikeIronman,Spidey,ortheX-men.

Now afterwards he might receive a threat or two fromoneofthebullies,butitwasfake.TheydidittoappearKool

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again like we invited them over anyway. Oh, we had to listentoKreadthecomicstousbecausehedidnotallowanyonetophysically manage his comics at all! And each one was storedinitsownindividualbag.

He was literally sick about his comics. Back to the milkcarton.Oncewegottheboxopenabunchoflittlecorncoloredenvelopesfelltothefloorlikeaminiatureslotmachinejustthiswasnotmoney.Ididnotknowwhattheshitwas,butlittledidIknowthisinstantwillchangemylifeforever.Gatessaiddamnwe’re rich. I could not see what he was talking about, but helivedoutParkPlacewaylongerthanIhad.

He always bragged about his mom dating a local drugdealer. This means he knew what they had put into thosebags’…drugs.Nonetheless,heknewwehitgold.AsKwenttocheckinwithhisgrandma.MeandGwenttowork.

Wehadcountedallthebagswehad,anditwaslikeone-hundred and ten envelopes. Gates said, let’s split them uphalf and half. It sounded good but I still did not have a clueonwhatitwas.Orwhattodowithit?ThenIreplied,no,let’sopen them up and place it all in a pile and go from there. Ghesitatedforasecondthenheagreed.

Once we had opened all the bags only then I knew whatitwaschronic,M.J.,smoke,meangreen,somegrasswhichalladdsuptoonething:money.Myfirstactofrevengefeltgood.No,great.Ihadacrew.Weconductedaplanandwalkedawaywiththespoilsofwar.AlldonewithnocasualtiesfurthermoreIgot his ass back without him or my mom finding out her smallangeljustburnthiswings.I’mtwelvenow.Iamageneralandnot doing bad for myself. Gates said, let’s roll it all up intojoints and sell them one joint for three dollars and two jointsforfive bucks.

I wondered for a second. My mom always told me thatdrugswerewrongandnevertousethem.AsIwasponderingwhatreallytodowithmyhalf,helitoneofthejointsupanditsmelt so good. Man, what are you doing? I asked Gates. Hesaid, how we know if it’s good or not until we try it. I couldnot back out. He was in my bedroom. What to do? Yo passthatshitGateshedid,andIsaid,"damnhurryupandletus

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smokethatshitupbeforemymom’spunkassboyfriendcomesoverhere."

Moonie would show up whenever I was doing somethingwrong, and he could use it on me to rat me out to my mom.Luckyformeeveryoneinthefour-apartmentbuildingsmokedheavy, so the smell did not concern me. It was him findingourweedbecauseifhedid,hewouldtakeitfromus.Thenhewould say he would not tell my mom. I know that would be aliejustlikewhenhecaughtmejerkingoffinthebedroomafterschool.

I knew I was the only one home. I just sat on the toiletreadingthemaillookingforanynoticesfromschooltosignandreturn before it reached Sharon. I would sign and hide themfrom my mom before she came home from work and dropthem off in the school office the next day. Ferris Bueller hadnothingonme.Iwenttomyroomtolookatthisnewblacktailmagazine.

I had waited forever to see this Issue. Big d and Lil Blackhad a copy but would not let anyone see it unless you paidthem five dollars. They kept shit like that in their clubhouseunder Big Boy’s house across the street from the boy’s club inhismom’sbasement.

Untiltheygothighonedayandtriedtocooksomebolognaon a base heater and it caught fire lol. Anyway Moonie toldme he would not tell Sharon if I gave up the magazine okeven exchange no robbery shit. He told as soon as he pickedher ass up from work. And I never trusted him again afterthat shit not because of the magazine fuck the magazine Iwasayoungmanshithappened.Hewassupposedtousethatas a bonding situation instead he snitched. I guess what youshould’ve expected from a grown ass man who calls himselfMooniemypointexactly.

Wellonceitwasproven,he(Moonie)wasnottobetrusted,Ghurriedupandfinished.Whenhewasdone,wehadbetweenthetwoofussomethinglikeathousandjointsifnotmore.We ran out of papers a couple times after the last pack were-baggedtheloosebudandsplitthatupaswell.ThatnightI

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wasoutlateallowingmymomtogethomefirstsomyclotheswouldhaveachancetoairoutaswellasmymind.

I know I have something now and it is time to put a newplan in motion. It’s late summer, school is almost about toreopen.GatesmovedtotheothersideofParkPlace,luckyforme the money was on my side of town. I would see him fromtime-to-time walking to Red Ball, the other local corner store.ThesamefamilyowneditjusttwoblocksdownthestreetfromPick up the Pieces on thirty second street and Debree acrossfromthemakeshiftcarrepairshop.

Thatisawholenotherstory.HereatRedBall,theysoldallthefreshmeatsandhousinggoods.Thestorehadanupstairsthatdoubledasaroominghouse.Ihadmadfunupthereandmadeatonofmoney.Wewillgettothatlater.ItookmyhalfofwhatwetookfromCrowandhiditundertheduplexnextdoor.Thejanitoronlycameoutonceamonth.So,ifIstayedontopofhisschedule,IwasGucci(goodtogobro).

I kept ten joints on me at all times in sets of twos nowlistencloseallyouwanttobehustlers.Youneverrollwithyourshit on your person. this shit is not legal for one and second ifajackboycomeforyou(usuallyaPortsmouthniggaalltheydoisrobpeople)youwillloseyourwholestash.

(I mean how hard is it to stand on a corner and do whatweweredoing,really.Theywerejustsomelazyassniggasthatgothighalldayandrobbedallnight.Wewereallpoorandwestillhadthepoorrobbingthepoor.)Youwillhavemoreproducttofallbackonlater.Ittookalotoffailures,losses,andthreatsformetofigurethatshitout.Duringtheday,IwouldhavetwoorthreeonmeandifIhearkidsmyagewerelookingforsomeweed,theywouldhitmeup(Iservethemwhattheywant).

Afewweekshavepassed,andIamhalfwaydone.Ihavebeen stashing money all over the house and in the backyard.Out the kitchen window I could check my shit. I was neverworried about no one coming back there because the peoplewho live directly behind us had a bad ass dog and I do notmeanbadasagoodthing.Thisdogwasapainintheass.Youfedhim,hebarkedatyou,playedwithhim,hebarkedatyou,

L.A.WALLACE

andifyoucametothefencehewentberserk.Ilovedthatdamdoglmao.

OnedayIbumpintoGhehadonfresheverythingImeanhelookedlikehejuststeppedoutofaRUND.M.CoraL.L.CoolJvideoshootokmynigga.Wherehaveyoubeenshoppingathomeboy? I asked. He said, you haven’t spent any of yourmoneyyet.NullmanIwastooconcernedwithwhatmymomwouldsaytomeIsaidtoG.LetalonewhatSharonwoulddoto me if she even had a clue, I sold weed. We had no food,therentwaslate,andallthebillsweredueandtotopitalloffSharonhadnosmokesorbeernoranyweed.Shedidn’tknowI had any, so I did not offer any of it either. Let me backup asecond,IdidfeelalittleguiltyonenightbeforeIevensoldmyfirstbag.

I went to her and tried to tell her if I ever found a bag ofweed she would want it. I knew she was feigning (needed tosmokesomechronic)andIwantedtohelpherwithallthebillsdue because she had no help. If I did not know why peoplesmokedweed,Inowknewitwasaneasyescaperoutetosayfuck it. Because when you take your first pull you forget whatthefuckyouwerethinkingabout.Whateveritwasnowwasontheoh wellfuck itlist.

Only till you come down I guess you will then rememberwhatthefuckyouweregettinghighforinthefirstplace.Iamnorocketscientistbuttheproblemninetimesoutoftenis still there just now your fucked because you forgot the taskathand.G’smomontheotherhandwasaloteasiergoing,hesimply told his mom he found it mmm no Sharon would havewhippedmyassuntilItoldanythingbutthatIfoundit.

Really in Park Place where everybody is looking to findsomethingsohowIgottobesoluckyIcanhearhernow.IdidnotwanttheotherstohearwhatIwasabouttoaskhim.So,IheldmyquestionandIwaiteduntilwewereatthebackofthegroup.GyousoldallyourjointsIaskedhim.Yeahhesaid,I been finished. Then he looked at me and asked, if I wasdone as well I said, no halfway but I did not want to sell allmineIwantedtowaitforschooltoopenandkillthematalltheback-to-schooljams.DJPwithDJSuperChavebacktoschool

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dances at the boys and girls club every year. Everybody thereisgoingtowantsomeweed.

He said DJ P knows we can buy a whole lot more fromwhen we finished. I asked him what did he mean we can getmore"? (Do not laugh at that time I was as green as the budwe were selling). I had no idea that you could buy more thanthe ideas started to just pour in on all the money that I wasgoingtomake.

CHAPTER4

LearningtheTruth

The summer ended well and for the first time I looked thepart of a kid that had loving parents at home. Even if I onlyhad one and that one was the best one ever. I had re-uppedwithG’speopleacoupletimesnow.Sobacktoschoolwasdef.(Another word we used which meant fresh, sweet, or hot). Imade money that summer from swapping Crow’s shit. It wasaroundtwelvehundreddollarsandIsmokedlovelyeveryday.Iguessoldhabitsdo diehard.

(Excuse me for a second while I have a Lil Smoke break,a lot of choking and cuffing later.) Ok I’m back Yo I had to letmyinnerbeinghaveabreakhe’stheonewritingthisstory.OhyesandatthismomentinlifeIcanaffordbeingakidman,lifewasgood.

The seventh grade was wild. Different classes one hereone there one way on the other side of campus. Damn I’mtired but since Sharon didn’t at first take right away to ParkPlaceuntilonceIhadreachedJr.highschool(NorviewJr.high)she would move us backward and forward between the two-apartmentcomplexes.MeaningwhenshewantedtopartyoutLakeland I had to walk to school and if she wanted to go outtotheclubs,westayedoutParkplace.Ihadgottentoridethebus when we stayed out Park Place. Most of the time, it reallyalldependedonhowMoonieandsheweregettingalong.

Good for them but it sucked to be me because I had nochoice in the matter. He would piss her off or tell her to leaveandyoucanfigureouttherest.Itwascomingtotheendof

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theyearandonegoodthingcameoutoflivinginprojectswhilewalkingyougettomeetplentyofpeople.Inreturnyoucanselltonsofweed.Ihavepeopleouttherepumpingformeandwithme.IhadParkplace,NorviewandtheVillethreepowermoneyspotsbutI’monlyonehittingthetipoftheIceberg.

Well before the year had ended can you believe I had achance to show off, stunt, do my own thing. We went on aclasstripinJr.HighschooltoWashingtonDc.Man,Iwastherebuyingupfoodlikecrazy.HeyitwasonlyfoodbuttomeIcouldhave whatever I wanted. The best