If You Were My Child

By Lindsey Marie Arnold

You are loved, wanted, special, and absolutely essential!

What would you do to be loved, accepted, known, wanted, and have a place to belong?

Have you ever longed to be accurately seen, heard, and understood?

How about secretly wanting an adult you could trust with y

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Feb 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887384320

Book preview

Dedication

I dedicate this book to Alyssa, Jeremiah, Kynleigh, Kyree, and Braxton. You five felt like mine from the moment I met you. I love you all so much! Thank you for revealing some of who you are to me. Each of you is wonderful beyond compare! You are forever etched in my heart.

Acknowledgments

To all of those who helped to make this happen, whether it was encouraging, editing, or buying something from my bake sale to raise money to be able to get this work into print, thank you! As with most things that are worth doing, it took a group to accomplish what God had planned. I am so excited about this work and what God wants to do with it to love on the hearts and minds of teenagers all over the world, and you are a part of that. Without you, this wouldn’t be possible.

Thank you to Kory Arnold, Katie Michaelson, Tam and Steve Arnold, Brady Arnold, Jim and Pam Seaser, Catie Riessen, Cheryl Starman Combs, John and Frankie Arnold, Rick Kirkpatrick, Katie Weir, and Dan Hamilton. You all are so wonderful, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. All of you have a share in the anointing on this book that comes with partnering together. May God richly bless you in return for your investment in me and my work.

Foreword

Lindsey and I met in our sophomore year of college. We were neighbors in Brown Hall, a dorm I believed had a castle-like feel with a beautiful arched walkway and an inviting courtyard. I don’t remember exactly how we ended up living together the following year—but I am certain I had to convince her it was a good idea and I would be so fun to live with. And I was right. She thoroughly enjoyed it! So did I. We were able to support one another through our coursework to become elementary education teachers and shared our love for ministering to young children at church (Lindsey) and peers through college ministry (me). We really could turn anything into a super fun time…like going across town to the furthest store away for groceries on rollerblades (her idea) or delivering warm, freshly-baked cookies to our neighbors with a totally unrelated yet fully loaded hiking backpack on my back (clearly my idea—because why not?).

For the love of adventure and joy, we could turn anything into something that brought each of us so much laughter. Lindsey made sure to help me reach my goal of making everyone who crossed our path smile. We wanted to be the love, light, and joy of Jesus to others.

Neighbors, roommates, and most importantly, friends…she encouraged me through it all and made sure I knew how much she delighted in me and our friendship.

I felt her same overflowing love, joy, and delight while reading this love letter called If You Were My Child.

Although we haven’t lived near each other since then, Lindsey and I have shared a similar path. Following our callings to be educators, we have had the opportunity to be a part of children’s lives daily. We have spent countless hours in various schools and classrooms. This passion goes far beyond teaching—our calling, ultimately, is to love you, His precious child. Each day we set out to speak truth and encouragement to your heart, to be a person in your life you look forward to seeing because you feel loved and special—because you are. And this love, care, and kindness we share with you is an extension of the love, care, and kindness we have experienced from God and through our relationship with Jesus.

Going as far back as even before we met, Lindsey and I shared the same heart’s desire—to be mommies. Our plans were to each meet an amazing man who loved Jesus, get married, have children, and pour our hearts into our families. Our plans didn’t work out as we had hoped. Even though we didn’t carry/birth our own children, we have been blessed with an abundance of children in our lives. We have loved on, mentored, and shared the good news of God’s love by leading Bible studies to teens and young adults, and we continue to seek ways to invest in the lives of children and young adults to know and experience the love, grace, peace, and hope we find in the Lord. In this book, Lindsey shares the life lessons she has learned through a loving mother’s voice reflecting the love of our Savior.

Undoubtedly, we have had seasons in our lives where we have struggled, questioned, and followed what we thought was an easier path. But we have found through those moments that not only did Jesus not leave us—but He waited patiently for us during those times. He waited for us to come sit with Him, be loved by Him, and be forgiven by Him. Through that, we have been able to move forward in trust, faith, and patience toward His plans and purpose for our lives. Through that comes this book—a beautiful love letter from a momma’s heart. As I was reading this book written for you—what I realized is how much the little girl heart in me needed these words too. No matter your age, background, or relationships with your parents/caregivers, this book is for you. We all need to be encouraged and reminded of how much we are loved and even more…treasured.

You are a treasure. You are a good and perfect gift from above, a precious gift of life. My prayer and hope for you is that while reading these words you experience the same hope, peace, and desire to continue to move forward in your love walk with Jesus as I did. If you are a child or young adult reading these words—my hope is that you take the wisdom from these stories shared with you to help you make choices that align with God’s best for your life. Perhaps you are reading this as an adult, like me, and you have already made mistakes or have regrets that you wish, If only I had known better… My prayer for you is that you are comforted by the grace and forgiveness that is yours through your relationship with Jesus. May this love letter reach your inner child to bring you hope and healing.

God is for you—you are His beloved child.

May His abundant love and grace dwell in your heart.

It’s an honor to be here with you on your journey.

—Katie

Preface

To the most special person who has picked up this book to read—I wrote this for you! I wrote it for you because I want you to read, hear, and begin to realize how much value was fashioned in you when you were created. It does not matter whether you were born to parents who loved each other, parents who were trying to have you to save their marriage, were the result of a one-night stand, or if they were too drunk to even know what they were doing. Your value is not based upon your parents one bit. Your value is based upon the truth that Someone created you, knitting you together in the most wonderful and detailed way. Someone much higher than the people who brought you into the world planned and designed you. You are one of a kind. In the art world, we call that very rare and usually priceless.

I am also writing this book because I have learned throughout my life that many children grow up and do not receive the parenting, love, guidance, and acceptance that they needed from their parents or whoever stood in the place of parents in their lives. I am not placing blame on them or judging them. I don’t know their story, and I will let God sort all of that out. What I do know is that you need and deserve to have at least one parent who has dealt with their issues enough to be able to see you, listen to you, and guide you along life’s paths. You are so worth it!

I am not married, so you would have a single mom, but I want you to have one adult, at least one, call forth to your soul and spirit that you are loved, wanted, planned for, valuable, and very needed to accomplish a combination of things that only you can accomplish to bless the world around you.

I am writing this book as if you were my child. The special child that God picked out of all the world just for me. And since I pointed out that I am single and believe that sex was designed for marriage, you are not disqualified because I did not birth you. I did not and will not birth anyone in my single state. So it does not matter that technically you are my child of another mother. I am not trying to be the best or gain your love. I want to pour into your life through the pages of this book to fill you up with the love and support that God wants you to have. I want to help guide you in learning how to go to Him for all your needs because He is omnipresent (everywhere) and will make up to you what was not accomplished by your parents…if you will invite Him! It is a journey that will take the rest of your life to complete but is so well worth it. The good news is that you will not have to wait until the end of your life to experience the benefits of taking this journey with Jesus. Your heart will begin to heal, and you will find yourself getting healthier and healthier as if you did have parents that provided everything you needed. This book will hopefully direct your eyes to Him and sow a seed of love and vision inside of you of what it feels like to be totally loved and wanted. Let us embark on this journey together.

Prologue:

Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend then that you really are my child. Let’s pretend that I got married and, from that union, had you. I would have been so elated to find out that I was pregnant with you! I would have wanted to know if you were a boy or girl, but because I love surprises, I would have waited to find out until you were born. That is okay, though, because I would have already planned to decorate your room in the Hundred Acre Wood theme from Winnie the Pooh. That was always a favorite cartoon of mine, and I would have decided long before I learned I was going to have you that when the time came for my baby, I would have someone come in and paint a mural around the walls. I figured that this was an adorable thing for both boys and girls to look out from their cribs on, where they would feel safe and protected like I do when surrounded by trees and water.

You cannot even imagine how much fun I would have in researching and trying out your name on my tongue. I believe names and their meanings are especially important, so I would want just the right one for you that would be beautiful/handsome, unique, and something that you would grow into. I would have written it out, said it aloud, and tried to make sure that there was no way your school friends, or enemies rather, would have been able to turn your name into a way to make fun of you. I suppose I could not totally make sure that it would not happen, but I would do my best to try and prevent it.

I would have spent those nine months praying through a baby book so that every piece of your development was covered by Jesus. You are so precious, and I want your life to be just as precious. I know it will not be perfect because only Jesus is perfect, but I can pray for you and teach you how to overcome every struggle and trial that comes against you. It is amazing that God has a way of handling each and every bad thing that happens to us to turn it into a major blessing. I have many stories like this to tell you when you are older and able to handle them. You can be courageous in this world like God has taught me to be courageous, and I am so excited to teach you.

Next, I would make sure that I was eating in a healthy way to promote your best development. I might have to pray about this area because there are certain times of the month when I crave sweets and plenty of them. I do not believe that drinking alcohol in a balanced way when you are of age is bad, but while I was pregnant with you, I would not drink any. I want such good things for you!

As I would watch my body grow, I would sing to you so you would know my voice. I would talk with you, telling you just how excited I would be to welcome you into this world. I would take you on walks so that maybe one day you would learn the importance of exercise and keeping your body in good shape for whatever God has planned for only you to accomplish. Everywhere I went, you would go. How wonderful and a bit odd to experience a whole other person going with me everywhere I went. I have not had that experience since my mom was pregnant with me, and truth be told, I do not remember it.

I would be so excited to learn what your personality was like, how God wired you to be. I would let you know that I was excited to watch you grow and help point you in the direction of what I saw were your natural gifts. Rest assured, I am not expecting you to be like me. Like I said earlier, we each are 100 percent individual and unique; we are not to be carbon copies of each other. I hope that perhaps you would see some things in me that you would want to learn from, but mostly I hope you learn how much you are loved and how much I believe God loves each of us so that you would want to know Him personally for yourself. He is all you really need to fulfill your destiny. I would get to enjoy the journey alongside you but would not be the one who would be ordering your steps. Your destiny and the amazing things you were born to accomplish are things that are far above my knowledge and