Mel and Trisha's Greek Holiday

By Claire Monday

Mel and Trisha have been on so many holidays, and nearly all of them have ended in disaster. They have fun, they're naughty, but they always seem to end up having to work their way out of a sticky situation somehow.

I wonder what will happen this time?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Claire Monday
• Release date: Jan 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393607298

Book preview

Mel and Trisha have been on so many holidays, and nearly all of them have ended in disaster.  They have fun, they’re naughty, but they always seem to end up having to work their way out of a sticky situation somehow.

They haven’t been away for a while so that conversation is coming around again.  It’s one that Mel has started to dread because what she wants to do, and what Trisha wants to do, are very different things.  Apart from the shagging that is.  That they both like.  One year, as their plane’s departure was delayed, Mel dared Trisha to do someone in the departure lounge.  She just picked up a bloke, took him into the toilets and did him.  They have that kind of holiday.  I wonder where they’ll go this year?

As usual, and as it’s a Wednesday, Mel spends the night at Trisha’s, so she picks up a Chinese on the way.  Trisha is such a creature of habit there’s no need to ask what she wants from the menu.  And there’s no need to stop for a bottle either.  I wouldn’t say that Trisha is a bit of a drinker but ‘bring your own grog’ is a phrase that need not apply.

I’m starting to think that Mel’s life is becoming a little too predictable.  Dare I say mundane?  Are we getting to ‘that’ age?  The age where a girl starts to look for something else in her life?  Seems to me that Mel’s looking for that missing ingredient whilst Trisha is out looking for another screw.  Right now though, she’ll be looking for a corkscrew, but you get my point.  I used to think that Mel’s missing ingredient was variety but I’m starting to think I’m wrong on this one.  I’m starting to think that Mel needs a little more love in her life.  I’m thinking that she’s been looking for love in all the wrong places.  I wonder if she’ll find it on her holidays?

Hey!  Mel’s walking up the steps to let herself in, and here we are, chirruping.  We’re only getting in the way of the story, aren’t we?  Shall we get on?

Only me!  I call, as I let myself in through the Trisha’s front doorway.  We’ve always had keys for each other’s flats, it makes life simpler.

Can I smell dinner?  What have you got? Trisha calls back.

Sweet and sour chicken for you, something in black bean sauce for me, rice, and a bag of prawn crackers.

Then I shall get the starters from the fridge.

I walk across to the dining table and unpack the meal.  Trisha has already set out the table with plates and cutlery so I spoon the food out from the plastic containers, carefully putting the empty packaging back into the bag.  I’m splitting open the bag of crackers, helping myself to one whilst I work, when Trisha walks in with two glasses and a bottle of cold white wine.

So where are we going on holiday this year?

Glad you asked that. said Trisha.  Because that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.  It’s time for us to get away.

Any ideas?  You’ve said ‘no’ to every idea I’ve had and that isn’t much help is it?

Well after last year’s efforts, Mel, I think I should be deciding where to go.  Last year’s ‘cultural tour of Italy’ was a complete disaster, wasn’t it?  I have never tried so hard to get laid in all my life and I got absolutely nowhere.  It was all bum pinching in Rome and it never, ever, got any further than that.

Didn’t stop you eating though.

Mel, I’m not complaining about the food - the food was great.  You know what I’m like for pizza and ice cream, but Italy was all about courting, wasn’t it?  The chasing and the romancing.  I had eyes to look into and hands to hold – we even had one berk serenading us on the balcony, didn’t we?  But it all had very little do to with shagging.

All I did was put weight on. I sighed.

Tell me about it.  And I’m not having you dragging me ‘round museums and ruins again either.  Don’t take this the wrong way but after a bit, they all look a bit samey to me.

So where then?  What’s your idea?

Greece. announces Trisha, tapping the bottle with her fork.

Greece?  I’ve never been to Greece.  What’s the deal with Greece?

This, my little pal, is Greek wine. says Trisha, tapping the bottle again.  And we are going to ‘the beautiful island of Kos’, because it says so, here.  And she hands me a holiday brochure.

And look at these pictures!  Just look at this hotel!  Sun, sea, sand -

And a guarantee of getting your leg over? I ask.  Is that it?  Greece?  Is there anything else worth looking at?

Well there are other places going but you know, I really fancy the idea of this.  And, I’ve checked it all out on the internet.  Apparently, after Ayia Napa, this is the place to be.  This.  Here. Trisha said, prodding the paperwork.  And there’s a deal going.  It’s got two problems though but don’t worry, I’ve had an idea and it’s all sorted.

‘I’ve had an idea’.  Four little words that attract disasters to us like moths to a desk fan.  First off, what’s an ‘Ayia Napa’ and secondly, Trisha, what exactly are these problems?

"Ayia Napa?  It’s only the clubbing town in Cyprus.  Honestly,