Conversations with Myself: A Journey from Addiction to Recovery

By R. Wilton Young

Conversations with myself is written by R. W. Young. It details his struggles with chemical dependency, his attempts at trying to get clean with the help of treatment centers, outpatient programs and halfway houses, and how he was finally able to break free from addiction and reclaim his life. This book talks about:

• The u

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stratton Press
• Release date: Oct 31, 2022
• ISBN: 9798887641614

R. Wilton Young

R. W. Young knows firsthand the pain and suffering caused by chemical abuse. At first, he set out to publish several poems that he wrote while attending several treatment centers over the years. However, the alarming drug abuse (and deaths) that occurred during the pandemic, convinced him to write about his experience, in the hope that this will help another who is also looking for a way out of drug and alcohol slavery.Mr. Young is recently retired from the hospitality industry, and currently resides in his adopted city, Philadelphia, PA. He enjoys writing, frequent exercise and caring for Dakota, his canine friend.

Book preview

Introduction

When I tried crack for the first time in early 1980, I thought I had found the magical elixir. I was at the top of my game and could not envision spending the next thirty years as a slave to that or any other substance. But that is exactly what happened. From one horrifying plateau to another, my life turned into a living hell. This is an account of how my crack addiction began, how it spiraled out of control, and how I was able to turn it around.

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Chapter 1

No one set out to become an addict or alcoholic. I don’t know of anyone who says, When I grow up, I want to spend all my money getting high and lose everything in the process.

Despite the popular notion that only ghetto rejects and people with problems turn to substances, we find well-coiffured suburban housewives, doctors, lawyers, and many other intellectuals and professionals among our kind. Substance abuse is an equal-opportunity employer.

In days gone by, if you were on drugs, you were deemed crazy and immediately ostracized, hauled off to a mental institution, or worse, as in some countries, promptly taken out and shot.

People have been using some kind of substance since time immemorial, in fact as early as 3000 BC, ancient Incas chewed the leaf of the coca plant for its euphoric properties and because it increased their heartbeat and helped them survive in the thin mountain air. In 1859, cocaine was isolated from the plant by German chemist Albert Niemann.

In 1886, Austrian psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, who used it himself, prescribed it for his family and high society friends and hailed it as a miracle cure for depression, sexual impotence, and alcoholism. Freud went on to become a lifelong cocaine addict.

The cocaine-laced drink Coca-Cola was invented in 1886 by John Pemberton and sold as a patent medicine good for whatever ails you. Early records indicated that he bought the soft drink formula for cheap from an old man who had created it, but lacked the finances and savvy to fully bring his idea to fruition. Additionally, there was no market for his idea. Pemberton bought the formulae for mere pennies on the dollar, made the drink, and added a secret ingredient to guarantee rapid sales and the rest was history. Coca-Cola derived its name from coca (cocaine) and cola (caffeine), another powerful stimulant, extracted from the kola nut.

Everyone drank the beverage because it produced instant euphoria and was a source of energy. It was believed that it cured ailments, when what it actually did was mask the symptoms. However, people soon realized how addictive the beverage was, and public pushback caused cocaine to be removed from the drink in 1903. Two years later, in 1905, it became popular to inhale the powder, but many were hospitalized for severe nasal disorders. In 1912, there were 5,000 reported cocaine-related deaths, and the drug was officially banned in 1922, only to resurface in the 1970s as Hollywood’s and Wall Street’s ultimate party drug.

Although alcoholism was officially labeled an illness in 1836, it wasn’t until 1987 that AMA recognized addiction to any substance as a disease, thereby paving the way for its treatment to be covered and paid for by insurance companies. I am convinced that move has saved millions of lives, including mine.

This is my story.

Chapter 2

Iam the fifth child out of seven, and my childhood was normal. I wasn’t allowed to hang out much. I had a pretty firm single mother, loving but firm. Drugs weren’t even discussed in our household growing up, except for when she’d tell us to stay far away from substances of any kind and from anyone who used or sold them. As regards alcohol, we never kept it because no one in my household drank. I was never exposed to substances growing up; in fact, didn’t personally know anyone, teens and early twenties, who used drugs or drank alcohol, and I hardly ever thought of them at all, except for what I saw in the movies. I knew no one who used anything beyond cigarettes and an occasional beer.

I was born in a small, relatively conservative island in the Caribbean where everyone knew everyone else. Graduating near the top of my class in high school, I headed for culinary school and a career in the hospitality industry where I worked until migrating to the US.

When I came abroad in my twenties, I felt free from the constraints of home, friends, and family and began to explore the party scene. Everyone in my circle was smoking pot or had at least tried it, with no lasting harmful effects—except acting silly and forgetting minor things—and eventually, so did I. Since it seemed to make everything more fun, it soon became part of my social