Don't Look Back

By Lindsey Powell

I've been running for far too long, but running is easy when you're eighteen years old and you let fear consume your soul.

Running is easy when the enemy is someone powerful, respected and loved.

Running was the answer for me years ago, but now I'm ready to face my fears and put the past behind me. I'm ready to come face to face with my demons, and with the man who was the love of my life.

Love is the thing that broke me and turned me into the coward that I became. I'm done with being that coward, and now I'm here to fight back.

I've spent years building myself up to this moment… The moment when I walk back into my old life.

They say don't look back, but I've done nothing but look back every single day. The memories haunt me. The feelings rooted deep within me. You're only an easy target if you let them make you one, and my enemy won't see me coming. My enemy no longer scares me, but the man I used to love does.

Will he forgive me for running?

Or will putting my heart on the line a second time leave me heartbroken once again?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lindsey Powell
• Release date: Jun 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9798215615348

Book preview

Chapter One

Jennifer

Run.

That’s the first instinct when fear consumes your soul.

Run.

Don’t look back.

Fear. It can plague you, or you can face up to it and fight against it.

Run.

It’s easy for others to judge, to give their opinion on how they would do things if they were in your situation. But if they were really faced with it, would they run just like you?

It may seem like an easy way of leaving everything behind and rebuilding a life.

Wrong.

Running is harder. It’s cowardly, and it brings shame upon your existence.

Run.

As your feet carry you away, one step at a time, the worst thing you can do is look back and falter. Don’t look back. Keep moving forward.

Run.

Adrenaline surges through you, carries you to your next destination.

Run.

Leave behind all that you know and venture into a world of uncertainty.

How can you ever completely move on when your heart is the thing that you left behind?

Run.

That’s what I did. I ran. I left. I destroyed.

Fear.

I let myself believe there was no other way. I let the fear consume me. I let it override any common sense. I didn’t even begin to question that anyone would believe me.

Young.

Naïve.

That’s what I was.

Eighteen years old, fresh out of college with no qualifications. I let it all go to shit. I gave my heart away and opened myself up to never-ending attacks.

Pain.

Heartache.

I’ve experienced both. I’m still experiencing both.

Wounds.

They never heal. I’m living proof.

Jealousy.

The driving force behind the attacks. It fuelled my enemy, spurring them on to eradicate me, erase me from their life.

Look back.

I’ve done nothing but look back every single day. The memories haunt me. The feelings rooted deep within me.

Never let go.

I promised to never let go. I promised to always keep them in my heart.

Liar.

That’s what they will have branded me. A liar. The worst kind.

Deceitful.

Hateful.

A bitch.

I guess they would be right. I would have looked like all of those things. I wasn’t even able to defend myself.

Selfish.

Possibly one of the worst things to be called, because I am anything but.

I’ve always given, I was never one of these people that took. I had a big heart. I cherished everything and everyone.

Love.

It’s what broke me, turned me into the coward that I became.

The guy.

That guy. The one that you will always keep in your heart. The one that you loved first. The one that you loved fiercely. The one that you will never ever let go. That’s the one I’m talking about.

Lincoln Daniels. Linc. My Linc. My heart. My soul. My first everything.

He was it for me.

He was the reason that I took my next breath.

Young love they called it. It always pissed me off that they never took what we had seriously.

I vowed to show them. I vowed to stand beside him no matter what.

And then I ran.

It doesn’t matter that I was forced to, what matters is that I left. No warning.

Linc was twenty. We had been together for three years. High school sweethearts and best friends. A life line for one another until I shattered all that we knew.

I couldn’t have gone to Linc and told him why I had to leave. It would have shattered his world even more. It was better to let him hate me than take away his memories, his happiness, his childhood.

I panicked.

Would I make the same choice today?

Fuck no.

It’s been five years since I left. Five years to the exact day.

I’ve grown up a lot. Sure, I’m still only twenty three, but when you have been through what I have, you learn to grow up quick. Make decisions. Own your shit.

There’s no one else to blame but yourself.

You have the power, the control.

You’re only an easy target if you let them make you one.

Run.

I’m done running.

Fear.

I have no place for it in my life anymore.

Look back.

I’m not just looking. I’m going back.

I’m returning to the place that blew my world apart.

I’m ready to face my demons.

And I’m ready to own up to my mistakes.

I am no longer the weak-ass girl that they once knew.

I’m strong.

I’m powerful.

I’m in control.

I’m in the driver’s seat, and the haters better get the fuck out of my way.

Jennifer Adams. That’s me.

I’m going back to put right my wrongs.

I’m going back to show them who is the boss.

I’m going back to scare the fucking life out of them.

And I’m going back to try and take back what was once mine.

Chapter Two

Jennifer

Hiding in the shadows is something I have become accustomed to over the years. I don’t let people get close to me. I’ve learnt the hard way. But as I drive through my old neighbourhood, I’m ready to come out of the shadows.

I’ve worked hard in the last five years, got a job, worked my way up the ranks, saved money, made myself strong. I’m the force to be reckoned with, and my enemy is about to find out that I won’t be silenced any longer.

You see, my enemy won’t be expecting me. Five years