Jasmine Ferrard: Can It Get Any Worse, Yes It Can!

By Jasmine Knowles

People who have been victims of child abuse may have kept their secrets all their lives, but sometimes the time comes to tell their stories.

Jasmine Ferrard tells the story of a woman who has had to face obstacle after obstacle, starting in early childhood. She has faced horrible, terrifying, and disgusting experiences throughout her life, and has gone through significant amounts of hurt and heartache. Now she seeks to tell her story so that others dealing with similar situations will know they are not alone. It is never too late to move forward with your life, even though someone has tried to steal it from you. Be strong, pray, and let nothing take away your faith that—even through the worst experiences—you will be okay. You can still be the great person that you once dreamed you would be.

This memoir, the first of a series, tells one woman’s story of pain and abuse with the hope of inspiring others to be strong.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Oct 12, 2022
• ISBN: 9781663244970

Jasmine Knowles

Jasmine Knowles finds peace in giving and helping others; she has been writing for most of her life. She and her loving, supportive husband have three children and a two-year-old boxer.

Book preview

Jasmine

Ferrard

Can It Get Any Worse? Yes, It Can!

JASMINE KNOWLES

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JASMINE FERRARD

CAN IT GET ANY WORSE? YES, IT CAN!

Copyright © 2022 Jasmine Knowles.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-6632-4496-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6632-4497-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022916307

iUniverse rev. date: 10/04/2022

Contents

Introduction

The Jasmine Series: Part 1

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Introduction

The Jasmine Series books are dedicated to all victims in this world who may, as children, been molested or raped, or may have suffered through any physical abuse. You are not alone. Life will never be the same; however, life is still what you make of it, even after going through these types of trials that no one should ever go through at any age. It is never too late to get professional help to move forward with your life when someone has tried to steal it from you. Be strong, pray, and let nothing take away your faith that even through these types of mortifying experiences, you will be okay. You can still be the great person that you once dreamed you would be. We are on a special team. Those of us who are victims of child abuse may have kept this secret all of our lives, but it is time to let it out. Relieve yourself of the bad dreams, the anxiety, the thoughts that you are less than the next person, or that everyone can see what has happened to you as if it is written all over your face. Let it go and start living the way you were meant to live. Be proud of who you are, no matter what you have gone through.

—Jasmine Knowles

The Jasmine Series

PART 1

Chapter 1

At four years old, I often woke up in the middle of the night, sweating profusely from having a nightmare. I was too scared to fall asleep, so my older sister, Valerie, would have to hold me until I was sound asleep. I would wake up the next day and act as if everything were normal. Phillip, my dad, left early to work as a drill sergeant in the army. My brother, Jefferey, and Valerie left for school. I wasn’t yet in elementary school; therefore, this would leave the day all to my mom, Rosa, and me, which I loved. When she and I were on our own, all her attention was on me. We would fry a steak with onions, which was my favorite food. We would take walks around the neighborhood, and while my mom watched her favorite show, Phil Donohue, I would play with my dolls without my brother coming in to disturb the fun, kicking my toys around or doing something to aggravate me.

Even for my mom, this was a peaceful time. She and my dad argued so much that this was her time to relax from the stress that caused. As soon as my dad came home, my mom would become very quiet, not having much to say about anything. We knew when my mom started to bite on her teeth with her mouth closed that she wasn’t in a very good mood. We were all on pins and needles the second my dad walked through the door. He would fuss about the smallest things, such as something being out of place or even if a small piece of string was on the floor. Everything had to be perfect, or he would become very upset.

His punishment for not doing something perfectly would be to make you stand in the middle of the floor on one leg for long periods of time, or putting your head on the kitchen table for hours and no one being allowed to say a word to you. My mom would try to intervene, and this normally turned into a quarrel between the two of them. Our bedrooms were downstairs, so my sister and brother and I would escape to our rooms so we wouldn’t hear the noise upstairs. Sometimes the noise would become so loud and scary that it would sound like an army running across the living room floor.

One night an unusual noise was added to our home. We heard a gunshot. I was so scared I hid under my bed and closed my eyes. My father called us upstairs, and we were afraid to go. While walking up those stairs, so many scary thoughts ran through my mind. When we got upstairs my mom and dad were sitting at the dining room table. My dad sat across from my mom with one of his guns in his hands while drinking his liquor, as he did every night when he came home. My dad told us to sit on