A Man's Guide to Babies

By G. Lamar Wilkie

"YOU'RE HAVING A… WHAT?"

-Many a future Daddy

 

Panic no more, fellow father figure! You're not alone in your sense of confusion about how that one hot encounter turns into a tiny human being just nine months later. And there's no manual for you that comes with it.

 

A MAN'S GUIDE TO BABIES

 

This lighthearted book reveals all those mysterious things going on deep in there… especially the things that are making Mom so irrational out HERE.

From ovulation to conception to delivery and beyond, the prospective Dad has a lot to learn in a hurry! Grab this guide and read it in your spare moments (you won't have many more to spare) and let two-time award-winning father* G. Lamar Wilkie explain it all in this fast, fun, and easy read!

 

 

 

 

 

*- World's Greatest Dad. The tie and coffee cup say so.

• Language: English
• Publisher: G. Lamar Wilkie
• Release date: Oct 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781959245001

G. Lamar Wilkie

G. Lamar Wilkie is a retired U.S. Navy Chief and mushy, romantic husband of his Darling Bride Donna since 1990. Together they have two grown kids, son Christopher and daughter Athena. He wrote a book for each of them when they were young; both books are now published. He enjoys writing; music; is active in church, local civics, and veterans’ organizations. He and Donna share a passion for helping others. And for each other.

Book preview

A MAN’S GUIDE TO BABIES

by G. Lamar Wilkie

Copyright ©2021 G. Lamar Wilkie. All Rights Reserved.

ISBN 978-1-959245-00-1

FIRST EDITION 2022

This book is dedicated to my Darling Bride, Donna Lynn Wilkie—for sharing the adventure of life with me; father, Johnny O'Neal Wilkie—who learned babies the hard way like I did; mother, Nona Lavelle Baeszler—who worked equally hard to support us; grandmother, Wyone Lydia Mae Barton; and stepmother, Belinda Burns Wilkie—who helped raise my sister and me to successful adulthood. They all made tremendous sacrifices for us.

Thank you.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

Yeah, I know—but if I don’t include one, my attorney will have a seizure and none of us want that (SHHH!) so, here goes:

This book is intended for very general information on fetal and infant development, and for entertainment purposes. The views expressed in this book are solely those of the author. The contents of this book should not be used as a reference for any medical purposes. No authoritative medical expertise is expressed or implied.

WHEW! Now that the legal stuff is over with...

FOREWORD

From a father who’s been there, done that, got the t-shirt, had it puked on

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are reading the de-facto owner’s manual for babies!

Let’s face it: babies are, by and large, a women’s issue because... well, it’s inside them where babies grow from one cell into an infant. Most baby books, therefore, are written more for the woman in your life. That doesn’t mean, however, that the expectant Dad doesn’t have a vested interest in the process.

That’s why this book is geared towards MEN: we read manuals. Usually. Well, at least when we have to.

And believe me... when it comes to babies, there is no shortage of things you need to know about them. I hope you read this book carefully, as there are nuggets of wisdom scattered throughout.

On to the Introduction.

INTRODUCTION

Babies.

The word can send chills down the spine of most manly-type individuals: even the mightiest of men have a deep, primordial fear of infants. Why?

Women.

The fairer sex has placed such a shroud of secrecy over the subject of babies that men have no idea what to think, how to think it if they thought, or whether it's too feminine to even think about thinking it.

Think about it. Who gets baby showers? Women. There may be such a thing as a baby shower for men, but I have never seen evidence of such an event.

Who gets all the baby-oriented stuff? Women! Almost every baby clothing store has a mailing list and regular prize drawings for expectant mothers: I have yet to see anything like that for expectant fathers.

The subject of babies is almost taboo among men who don’t have babies:

Bill: How about that game Sunday?

Don: Yeah—what a match-up! I haven't seen a fourth quarter like that since the Jets against the Dolphins!

Bill: What did you think about it, Dave?

Dave: I didn't see it. I was out shopping with the wife for baby clothes.

(Silence)

Don: Yep, that was some game.

Generally, Dave will fade out of the scene entirely, fed to the lionesses of womanhood. Few things are sadder than seeing a man abandoned by his fellow men and utterly domesticated... trading the motorcycle for a minivan.

It happens every day, though: and there are likely support groups around the world full of former beer-drinkin', sports-lovin', hard-chargin' men who have experienced that traumatic change of lifestyle called The Blessed Event.

This book is intended to lift some of the taboos and mystique from a virtually forbidden subject: babies and their impact on YOU, the father.

For the experienced Dads, this book will be a nostalgic trip down memory lane.

For those men who have yet to achieve the status of fatherhood: take heed the gems of wisdom hidden in this book, because it may be the closest thing to