All's Fair in Love and Death: Undeadly Deeds, #3

By Logan Riley

Q: What could be worse than spending Valentine's Day alone?

A: Spending it with evil zombies!

 

Megan Berry is no stranger to heartbreak, but spending Valentine's Day serving other happy couples hot dogs while mourning the loss of her one true love is almost more than even a highly trained Zombie Settler can handle.

 

So when her recently estranged boyfriend, Ethan, texts her asking her to be his Valentine, she ditches her bodyguard and rushes to his side.

 

But soon, Megan's dreams of chocolates, flowers, and lingering make-up kisses take a turn of the rotted-corpse-and-maggot variety, and Megan fears that her first Valentine's Day with Ethan may be her last.

 

Author's Note: This is a series-concluding novella that should be read after Books 1 & 2. Enjoy!

 

Previously published as Valentine's Day of the Undead (c) 2011.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Logan Riley
• Release date: Sep 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215006801

Book preview

one

February 14th, 8:02 p.m

Tragedy. Heartbreak. Misery. Pain.

Being stuck serving hot dogs at the Valentine’s Day semiformal because you’re the only pom squad member without a date is all of these things.

Served cold. With a side of tragedy slaw, drizzled with the sour, rancid mustard of love squandered and passion denied.

Ethan is hundreds of miles away, but even if he were standing right next to me, it wouldn’t matter. Because I’ve ruined everything. And now he’s gone.

Anguish. Smothered in sadness chili.

I sniff and hand over a tray of chilidogs to three junior girls who clearly don’t plan on kissing their dates later, judging by the amount of onions they each pile on their dogs, and thank them for supporting the squad. As they head for a table, Penny, fellow sophomore pom squadder, steps to the head of the line.

Megan! she squeals, fingers fluttering in front of her face. You look so cute!

Thanks, I say though I know she’s just being nice. I look anything but cute. My hastily flat-ironed brown hair hangs in frizzy waves to the middle of my back, my clothes smell like chili dog, and I’m pretty sure I’ve already smeared my eyeliner.

I should have known better than to make an eye-make-up commitment on a tear-threat-level-orange night.

But you look amazing, I add. Penny’s copper hair is piled on top of her head like a beauty queen, and her swingy green dress makes her eyes sparkle. She’s always super cute, but tonight she’s practically glowing. I guess her one-month anniversary is going even better than she hoped. I love your dress. And the earrings.

Thanks! She squeals again, bouncing lightly on her toes as I try not to wince.

Some might say she’s obnoxiously happy, but who am I to judge? I’m sure I was just as audibly thrilled at my first—and only—dance with Ethan.

Ethan.

Sigh.

So what can I get you? I ask, with as much perk as I can manage.

Two hot dogs with extra relish, please.

Awesome. I smile my friendliest smile as I load two dogs into their buns.

Penny and I had the it’s-fine-for-you-to-date-that-guy-I-went-out-with-once talk a while ago, but I don’t want her to think there are any lingering hard feelings. I couldn’t be more thrilled that she has found true love with Josh Pickle. After my one, extremely lame date with Josh and his even lamer rumor-spreading about the home run he allegedly scored during said date—he barely got to first base and that’s the truth—I would have dubbed him a skeeze incapable of complex human emotion, but he’s great to Penny. He treats her like a hillbilly princess, bringing her his best homemade venison sausage and taking her on long, romantic four-wheeler rides on his grandparents’ farm.

Obviously, I was wrong about him.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m wrong a lot lately. It’s becoming an upsetting trend—like open toed boots or lime green stretch pants or the Kardashian sisters.

For example, I assumed I was just an unusually powerful zombie Settler, but in fact, I’m half Settler, half witch, and have weird supernatural blood that makes black magic more powerful.

I assumed my dad was my dad, but he’s actually my adoptive father. My real dad is a witch who sent me a human hand in a box as a late Christmas present.

I assumed our Settler community was good and honest, but somewhere in Arkansas there’s a traitor who helped my evil ex-best friend—also a witch—escape from Settler Affairs prison, and now every Elder in the state is being investigated by the National High Council.

Worst of all, I assumed I was a true blue girl who would never cheat on her boyfriend. But I did. I cheated. I kissed another guy and ruined my chances with the only boy I’ve ever loved, the only person in the world who understands me, the only shaggy blond-haired, flashy green-eyed, gorgeous, funny, sweet, brave—

Megan? Penny waves a hand in front of my face. Are you okay?

I blink away the stinging at the backs of my eyes. I’ve got to stop thinking about Ethan. So it would have been our first Valentine’s Day together. So what? There’s no reason to let my angst infect everyone else’s evening.

I force another smile. Sorry. I zoned out. What were you saying?

Oh, nothing really. Penny shrugs. I just think it’s cool that Josh is dancing the fast dances with me, too. I know most of the football team would rather get stabbed in the face than dance in public.

I blink. Totally. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a football player shake his groove thing. Wow. That’s brave.

I know. She giggles and a flush spreads across her pale cheeks. I can’t believe it. I was sure he’d want to sit on the side with his friends and I wouldn’t get to dance at all. But he said he knows how much I love to dance, so…

She trails off with a sigh and turns to peek at her true love. Josh, who is in line for popcorn and drinks at the cheerleaders’ refreshment table, glances over at the same time and he and Penny both grin like lovesick puppy dogs.

I sigh and shift my gaze to