The Thirteen Witch Mothers of Mad Uncle Morgan: Lies That I Have Told about the Occult Community of Denver

By Morgan Drake Eckstein

In this double shot from the Life and Times of Mad Uncle Morgan, the rogue pagan historian (Wicca and Golden Dawn) discusses thirteen individuals who affected Morgan’s entire career in esoteric traditions. From his horrid bio-mother to his first High Priestess, in and out of covens, no memory is sacred writ. “That story must be a lie; all witch queens outrank Morgan, right?” The lies began here--join the protest--enshrine the official approved history of She Who Must Rule.

Table of contents
Introduction: Three Witches on a Hill Comedy Club
Witch Mother Number One: Victoria Josephine Ramalia
Witch Mother Number Two: Michael Eckstein
Witch Mother Number Three: Alexandra Lilith Ramalia
Witch Mother Number Four: Sagebrush, Small Town America
1984—The Year Mad Uncle Morgan was born
Witch Mother Number Five: Bibi Alhazred
Witch Mother Number Six: Squishy
Witch Mother Number Seven: Fraudulent Medium Squad
Witch Mother Number Eight: Supremely Honored Ad Astra Per Aspera
Witch Mother Number Nine: Maggie Moonstone
Witch Mother Number Ten: The Mayers
Angry Witch Mother Eleven: Mama Bear Elspeth
Witch Mother Number Twelve: Great Gherkin Collective
Witch Mother Number Thirteen: She Who Must Rule
Super-Secret Witch: Khari Seshent
Dedicated to Very Expensive Lawyers
If I wasn’t being sued into extinction . . .
If you live in Denver . . . 2022 Fireside Wicca event schedule
Mailing List Signup
Do you have an unwanted esoteric archive?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Morgan Drake Eckstein
• Release date: Aug 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9780463577691

Morgan Drake Eckstein

Morgan Drake Eckstein is a ceremonial witch and magician living in Denver. I would tell you more; but everyone's lawyer insists that the events that Morgan said happened never did. In other words, someone is willing to spend a lot of money and time in court to prove that Morgan has never lived In Denver, or been a pagan ever--just so that they can continue to abuse their organizations in the name of that sweet Apex Monopoly over all things magical and mystical. Obey your Witch Queen by boycotting this author and all of his events. Don't you love She Who Must Rule all witches in the whole wide world?!?

Book preview

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The Thirteen Witch Mothers of Mad Uncle Morgan

Lies That I Have Told about the Occult Community of Denver

A Double-Shot (12K) from the Life and Times of Mad Uncle Morgan

Morgan Drake Eckstein

V01.00.30 (Fall 2022)

© 2022 Morgan Drake Eckstein (a penname of Emil Michael Ramalia-Eckstein), except for quotes used under Fair Use Doctrine for the purposes of academic discussion and religious (lodge/coven) instruction.

License agreement: Gifting a Hierophant with a fair price for an article, encourages them to write more.

Mailing List Signup: Join Morgan’s All-in-One mailing list to receive news from all his Author Brands.

Warning: This newsletter supports all of Morgan’s pennames—his day job is science fiction.

https://firesidewicca.blogspot.com/p/mailing-list.html

Table of contents

Introduction: Three Witches on a Hill Comedy Club

Witch Mother Number One: Victoria Josephine Ramalia

Witch Mother Number Two: Michael Eckstein

Witch Mother Number Three: Alexandra Lilith Ramalia

Witch Mother Number Four: Sagebrush, Small Town America

1984—The Year Mad Uncle Morgan was born

Witch Mother Number Five: Bibi Alhazred

Witch Mother Number Six: Squishy

Witch Mother Number Seven: Fraudulent Medium Squad

Witch Mother Number Eight: Supremely Honored Ad Astra Per Aspera

Witch Mother Number Nine: Maggie Moonstone

Witch Mother Number Ten: The Mayers

Angry Witch Mother Eleven: Mama Bear Elspeth

Witch Mother Number Twelve: Great Gherkin Collective

Witch Mother Number Thirteen: She Who Must Rule

Super-Secret Witch: Khari Seshent

Dedicated to Very Expensive Lawyers

If I wasn’t being sued into extinction . . .

If you live in Denver . . . 2022 Fireside Wicca event schedule

Mailing List Signup

Do you have an unwanted esoteric archive?

Introduction: Three Witches on a Hill Comedy Club

It will probably be no surprise to you that while acting as usher for Maggie Moonstone’s event, a monthly ritual that I attended religiously for twenty-five years, that I practiced my standup comedy.

"Who am I to pass up a captive audience?"

So some of my readers tonight might have heard some variation of these Holy Lies already.

Perhaps hundreds of times.

Thousands of improvised edits.

On a live mic.

I liked to position myself next to some innocent bystander who just came for a little Wiccan ritual.

Typically, it was a newbie. Personally, I feel that it is my sacred duty to scare you out of the Craft. To help protect you. Because there are some real Cults of Personality out there. Wild, unlineaged, and greedy.

"We call them Great Gherkins."

Then I would tell them about the ongoing dubious decisions being made by the owner of my magical lineage—they got their hands on a trademark! That exclamation mark is being truthful. You see . . .

"Morgan—use your Inside Voice!!!"

Hang on . . .

Deep breath.

One more.

And another.

In and out.

Adjusting my volume.

Now everyone in the building can hear me.

You see, some of the people in the circle are doing similar nonsense, all safe under the seal of secrecy.

I can’t name them openly . . . but given that their evil greedy egoistical behavior is commonplace, it is fair to say that I know more than one person doing it. So the Great Gherkin hissed at me to be quiet . .

Fun fact: Mad Uncle Morgan, having been banned by Maggie’s hand chosen successor, has officially been kicked out of every organization that he has ever been a member of. Someone’s happy. Madness.

Witch Mother Number One: Victoria Josephine Ramalia

The first lie I told—I have the good authority of the Great Gherkin Collective—was being Wiccanied.

In Small Town America.

Skyfall, Nebraska.

A Martian tripod landed there.

Lie? Maybe.

Wiccanied on the day of my birth.

In 1965.

Small Town America.

Lie? Who knows.

If the story is to be believed, my Gardnerian aunt (either that or she was secretly reading Crowley), Vickie Jo grabbed my dad to act as the Horned