Long Range Respect

By Shelley Reynolds

Empowering children with authentic opportunities to make and do things leads them to respect the myriad roles filled by every member of society. Experiential education provides the skills they need to be successful and make responsible contributions to their communities. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: New Degree Press
• Release date: Aug 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9798885048378

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Long Range Respect

Long Range Respect

Shelley Reynolds

New Degree Press

Copyright © 2022 Shelley Reynolds

All rights reserved.

Long Range Respect

ISBN

979-8-88504-632-9 Paperback

979-8-88504-950-4 Kindle Ebook

979-8-88504-837-8 Ebook

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1.

Roots of Disrespect

Chapter 2.

Emerging Directions for Success

Chapter 3.

Assessment in Education

Chapter 4.

Guiding the Groundwork for Success

Chapter 5.

Doing It Now 

Chapter 6.

The Whole Point is Application 

Chapter 7.

Being the Guide—Making the Space

Chapter 8.

Being the Guide—Preparing Yourself

Chapter 9.

Being the Guide—More Than Teaching Content

Chapter 10.

Being the Guide—Self-Development Skills

Chapter 11.

Being the Guide—Social Experiences

Chapter 12.

Doing It Anyway 

Chapter 13.

Parenthood—Fundamentals

Chapter 14.

Parenthood—Building Encouragement

Chapter 15.

Parenthood—Building Self-control & Perseverance 

Chapter 16.

Parenthood—Difficult Situations

Chapter 17.

Parenthood—Adulting at Eighteen

Chapter 18.

Live It to Teach It 

Chapter 19.

Healthy Individuals Building Creative, Supportive, & Respectful Communities 

Chapter 20.

Go Do Things

Acknowledgments

Appendix

Introduction

In tenth grade, I went through a life-changing moment out of the blue. With plans to attend college, I was already in an amicable competition with two friends to be valedictorian of our class. Almost everyone agreed I was on track to do well in life.

One spring day, I sat in my customary spot in our history classroom, reviewing a chapter while waiting for class to start, when I overheard a conversation in front of the room.

Do you think you will have time to manage an oil change for me today, or should we wait for later in the week? said Ms. C.

Yes, we can do it today, and we are going to use an oil with paraffin in it. That will be better for the age of your car, replied N., one of my slightly older classmates.

They continued talking, comparing notes about oil knowledge and scheduling, having a completely professional conversation between two adults. I sat stunned as my understanding about what was respected in society underwent a seismic expansion. My deeply shaky self-image was trembling.

My adviser told me at the beginning of high school that for me to get into college, the load of required academic classes meant I wouldn’t have time for classes that offered the opportunity to learn how to make and do tangible things, classes like shop, automotive, cooking, sewing, life math. Now I could see that I was going to be ready for college, but that was all. I had no back-up plan, no real understanding of business, no grace, no practical knowledge. My classmate not only had those things, he was already doing them.

If we respect and appreciate the different roles and functions a successful society needs to run well, make sure everyone has their fundamental needs met, and find ways to prosper without others having to suffer, then we will come closer to meeting the ideals expressed in the Declaration of Independence and the Preamble of our Constitution.

Through years of study and teaching, I learned ways to create classroom communities made of capable, thoughtful, and skilled students. I encouraged parents to network and create diverse and supportive communities that last. One year, included families from six continents, and that wide group of people enriched each other’s lives. Finding common ground with different people and finding ways to work together is worth the effort. Respect among people who fill their roles well makes a rich community that can do great things. 

Competition has a healthy place; it drives improvements and innovation. Collaboration has a healthy place too; it allows people to make improvements together. Our country doesn’t always show respect for each other, but we have the chance to build widespread respect—perhaps for the first time in known history.

One place to begin building wider respect is within ourselves and with those around us. We all learn from and mentor each other. This book aims to support:

parents who want to joyfully raise resourceful, independent children

mentors who enjoy helping people discover their talents and character

educators who want depth of experience for their students

administrators who believe in high expectations

business leaders who rely on innovative team players

managers who believe in their people’s ability to develop strengths

leaders of communities who want success that lasts into posterity

Those of us who lead, teach, mentor, and manage people are on the forefront of this work. By beginning with ourselves, we can prepare the way for others to have fulfilling lives. If we develop ideas about the world that are grounded in reality and experience, then purposefully stretch those models to integrate other people’s experiences, we create learning and work environments that more accurately represent the world. What we share together will be richer and will help people be successful in the current culture as well as the changing one. 

All of us will need to stick through the chaos phase our country is in. We can become the reason "E pluribus unum is our motto. It does not mean to create a homogenous society, the melting pot" image. It means to be a strong nation of different people who value each other, who build great things with and for each other, and when hard things hit, who have each other’s backs.

Our changing economic and social pictures, though stress-inducing, offer possibilities and opportunities. Our traditional paths to success were based on rules and beliefs that are shifting. Success itself is being redefined. Our country could capitalize on this and become even greater. Our education and mentoring systems have not yet adjusted fully, but changes are happening. We have millions of children and young adults who need education, support, and mentorship to navigate this shift as they keep what works and add what’s next. 

The book begins with a review of some causes of disrespect in our country. Historically, exclusion of some members of society from the benefits of that society has been normal. Our country is on a path to change that condition, and it is bumpy. Not all citizens want the path toward more inclusion of others to happen, so battles are waging.

New opportunities for businesses, evolving definitions of success, and expanding realms of information are happening. The book covers some of these changes and their impact on how we guide our children to be ready for adulthood, both at school and in homes.

The next two sections explore what I have learned about being an effective teacher and parent, including guidance about developing respectful, capable individuals ready to be part of vibrant communities.

The book next offers support to those of us who do the work of raising children, plus those in their surrounding communities. Then I share my vision for creating respectful communities that use common ground and appreciation for all the ways people support each other in order to become fairer to all their members. The book closes with a call to action. Reading about things is not enough to raise up our country. We must do what it takes to make ourselves strong community members and raise our young people to do the same.

The book aims to cover important things to know as we guide young people’s skills, knowledge, self-development, and social awareness. It offers practical ideas parents, mentors, managers, and teachers can use to help themselves and those they lead become healthy individuals building creative, supportive, and resilient communities—the backbone of our successful nation.

Chapter 1

Roots of Disrespect

You will never be anything but a ditch digger! 

The teacher was at the end of her patience. This student was restless and disruptive during class again after being corrected many times during the school year. 

Once the student grew up, he started a business building foundations for homes. Several new subdivisions were beginning, and his reputation for quality led to lots of work. His business flourished. He not only built whole neighborhoods, he also raised a daughter who herself went into construction, becoming a successful contractor.

He happened to run into that teacher years later. 

Do you remember when I said you would only be a ditch digger if you didn’t straighten up?

Yes, ma’am, I do.

Well, she said, I didn’t realize you were going to become a RICH one!

Disrespect and Disregard

Though that teacher was trying to motivate him, the disrespect for physical work was obvious in her message. Digging ditches was seen as a dead-end job with low pay. How long he held on to that memory and how vindicated he felt when she congratulated him illustrates just how deeply her words cut. Working-class people occasionally experience disrespect for their position, even those that are paid well.

The divisions people feel in the United States have been around for millennia. Because we have twenty-four-hour news, plus commenters of various sorts, we are acutely aware of events we would not have heard much about before. Because of our new communication tools, we can potentially be part of what used to be smaller, more intimate conversations over dinner. Social media opened up the table. Some people joining and commenting aren’t actually family or friends, so the conversations don’t have the underlying goodwill that being part of a community would have. The possibility to interact anonymously takes away accountability, which means there are no consequences for being uncivilized or threatening. 

Conversations are getting more emotionally pitched. Significant percentages of our population deal every day with racism and disrespect. With automation looming, some people see fewer opportunities for their skills. People are looking for change. For example, the Poor People’s Campaign began in 2018 to pull together those pushed aside by social and economic situations. Working people across the country are struggling with quality-of-life issues, to the point that life expectancy is going down (Galea, 2011). Even those who are successful are worried about their children’s future, and a few are concerned about a socioeconomic revolution (Hanauer, 2019).

The events of the past few years make clear to everyone how deeply divisions and distrust run in our country. We must take time to explore how people feel disrespected and pushed aside, including those thought of as successful. Purposeful discussions between diverse groups will reveal deeper causes and lead to more effective solutions.

This is a time of historic change, with long-accustomed beliefs, systems, and practices under scrutiny as new information and stories come to light. Some unifying factors are no longer in place, such as limited sources for entertainment and news, as well as widespread acceptance of scientific facts and other objective evidence. Citizens owe it to each other to understand how deeply our wounds go, as well as how unsettling it is to deal with so many changes at once.

Though there is benefit from scientific and technological advancement, it is a disquieting reality that things can get out of hand. Jon Stewart illuminates our conundrum during a 2021 interview with Stephen Colbert. I think we owe a debt of gratitude to science. Science has, in many ways, helped ease the suffering of this [COVID-19] pandemic, which was more than likely caused by science. This ambivalence underscores how people feel eroding trust in government, scientists, experts, businesses, and institutions. They also believe these entities do not respect people, especially those who are not of high status. This part is not new. Take society thousands of years ago when ditch-digging was also quite important.

Some History 

During the Bronze Age, in the United Kingdom, it was common practice to raid neighboring settlements for food, labor, women, and animals. The BBC archaeology show Time Team makes it clear that people were digging ditches with ramparts on top to defend their settlements (Time Team, 1994-2014). Time Team was not only about archaeology, but also demonstrated different aspects of life, such as the effectiveness of ditch systems for defense. Many people were needed for these structures to be built successfully. Skilled people working together used existing land formations, managed water, installed ramparts, and designed the angles of the bottom curves.

Skilled people were necessary for a community to run well. However, that did not automatically mean they were respected. There is deep, biological competition hidden in all of us. Though we know we