Everybody Has a Story & Everybody's Story Counts: One Man's Journey to Better Understand Who He Is, Where He Comes From, and Why He Does What He Does....

By Silvio Tomeo-Nosdow

In this hybrid-memoir, inspired by his faith in Christ, Silvio takes a very honest, open-minded, and intrinsic look at the first thirty-three years of his existence. In this Volume I; he chronicles his first twenty-three years. From birth, through the early days, then through adolescence and the rough teenage years, up until when he graduates from college, Silvio examines why he made certain decisions along the way and how those decisions effected the trajectory of his life’s path. In Volume II, Silvio takes a very introspective journey through his adult life, after college. He shares his experiences in the professional world, as well as his very personal adventures in faith, family, friendship, or as Silvio refers to it; brotherhood, and of course; love. He ends Volume II at age thirty-three, a very pivotal point in his life when he found himself at yet another impasse both professionally and romantically. This memoir pays constant tribute to those who impacted Silvio amidst those first thirty-three years. From many family members, to friends, teachers, coaches and pastors, Silvio details very specific memories that took place with those influential individuals. How much better of a place would the world be if we all not only looked for the positives in the experiences we’ve shared with others, but we took the time to document those experiences and told people what they meant to us and what we learned from them?

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Aug 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9781489742896

Silvio Tomeo-Nosdow

Silvio Tomeo-Nosdow is a man on a mission to better understand who he is today, and what made him this way. Silvio is a seasoned operations professional with close to fifteen years of progressive leadership experience. After undergoing multiple job separations due largely to the condition of the United States economy prior to 2010, he switched careers, and ended up spending eight life-changing years working in a residential treatment facility. Paradoxically, Silvio’s father spent the ages of nine through eighteen in an eerily similar environment, essentially growing up there. It was while working at the residential treatment facility where Silvio began to truly gain a better understanding of who he is as an individual. After being prompted to write multiple times throughout the course of his life; first by his mother, then by his father, who found it therapeutic to pen his thoughts, Silvio deemed writing to be the best way for him to both make peace with his past and have a clearer vision for his future.

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Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982

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ISBN: 978-1-4897-4288-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-4289-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022913321

LifeRich Publishing rev. date:  08/09/2022

Contents

Introduction

1     In the Beginning

2     Greg and El - Products of Their Environments and Results of Decisions Made

3     Silvio and Angelina’s Very Challenging Early Years

4     Nonna Catarina - Vio and Angie’s Outlet and Saving Grace

•   Ristorante Molto Bene

5     Storia della famiglia e una passione per il cibo e Il Vecchio Paese (Family history and a passion for food and The Old Country)

6     The Ever-Impressionable Elementary School Years

7     Life Changes and Graduating from Elementary School

8     Middle School and Learning About Love

9     Trying to Adjust to Life on The other side of The Viaduct

10   The High School Years

•   Summer after high school Freshman year – Ninth grade

•   High school Sophomore year – Tenth grade

º   Summer after high school Sophomore year – tenth grade

•   High School Junior year – Eleventh grade

º   Summer after high school Junior year – Eleventh grade

•   Senior year of high school

11   Life After High School and The College Years

•   Summer after high school Senior year - Twelfth grade

•   Freshman year at Appennini University

•   Sophomore year at Appennini University

•   Super-Sophomore Year at Appennini University – Medical Redshirt Year

º   An indelible experience at Railroad County Prison

•   Junior Year at Appennini University

•   Senior Year at Appennini University

•   The confounding summer of 2003

Introduction

In mid-2019, the protagonist of our story bid farewell to two very close relatives. Both older men left tremendous impressions on him. One was his godfather and uncle, who stuck by his side through thick and thin, and one was the first cousin of his grandfather, who he affectionately referred to as his uncle. Though it was very difficult for our protagonist to say goodbye to both of these instrumental figures, neither loss equated to the life altering events that would transpire in his father’s life the following year. Our main character was long inspired to write by his father, who wrote a book of his own, but never had it published. His mother also found it beneficial to communicate her thoughts in the form of short letters and notes, so writing always had a place in his upbringing, and ultimately inspired our main character to want to pen his life’s story. He figured he would do so in his older years, once his life slowed down, but after what took place with his father, time became more of the essence.

On a sunny afternoon, in the spring of 2020, our protagonist’s father did what he often did when he had a day off from working his rotating, twelve-hour shift, machine-operating job; he went for a nice, long bike ride. This bike ride, however, would change the course of his life forever. While gliding down a fairly steep hill near a mountain in southeastern Pennsylvania, his father went to adjust his hat, to prevent from flying off his head, and in the blink of an eye, he briefly lost his concentration and flipped over the front of his handle bars, landing face first on the asphalt in front of him. In the ensuing months, after he healed from his severe concussion, his father underwent what was supposed to be a routine, pre-scheduled knee replacement surgery. Rather than transition from the surgery center to a local rehabilitation facility to recuperate from the knee surgery, his father suffered multiple strokes and spent the next few months in and out of the critical care unit of a hospital. In the end, the long-drawn-out ordeal would send our protagonist’s father into early retirement.

The strenuous experience rattled our main character to the core, and it also deeply affected his mother, and his sister. He and his father had a solid relationship when the accident took place, but they had come a long way to get to that point. Now, more than ever before, our protagonist gained a new appreciation for the preciousness of time, and as a result, he decided his story needed to be told N-O-W. A primary goal of Silvio’s was to eradicate as much of the pain from his past in order for him to move towards the future with his best foot forward.

This multi-layered, hybrid memoir has tri-lingual implications; English, Italian, and Spanish. The work was very creatively written in the third-person and takes a thorough, introspective look at the life of Silvio Tomeo-Nosdow, detailing the first thirty-three years of his existence. The first volume covers his early childhood involvements and processes through his graduation from college. Then, in the second volume, a naturally reticent Silvio opens up, and shares personal experiences from his adulthood, including his internal battle with mental health. Throughout the story, he also learns the value of healing while writing about his first encountered with death, when he lost his beloved Nonna (Grandmother in Italian), at age fourteen.

The author’s goal is to enrich the reader on the value of family; both blood and bond, and also to encourage the reader to never give up. Along the way, many characters are introduced, and much homage is paid to those who have helped Silvio along the way. Agape love is defined as unselfish love of one person for another without sexual implications; brotherly love (https://www.dictionary.com/browse/agape). Agape love is one of the primary and consistent themes of Everybody Has A Story, and Everybody’s Story Counts, as well as faith, hope, redemption, and overcoming. Moreover, our protagonist reflects on the powerful blessings of cross-cultural and cross-ethnic acceptance, and how watching that acceptance morph into brotherly love greatly impacted his life’s journey. Other impressions Silvio covers range from the difficulties he experienced growing up with an extremely explosive and violent father, moving from the inner city to a suburban environment less than three miles away from where he grew up just prior to high school, and being completely enthralled by his organized crime-connected grandfather and his associates, desperately wanting to be just like them for a large portion of the earlier part of his life.

In both volumes of Everybody Has a Story & Everybody’s Story Counts, Silvio depicts how his father’s galvanizing journey from being a lost and angry child to becoming a redeemed and changed, God-fearing man profoundly impacts his life. His father’s transformation was moving to watch, but never would have been possible without the unconditional and sacrificial love of his mother, who was truly the glue who kept the family together when many would have thrown in the towel and left.

Not only did his father’s and everybody else who’s been mentioned in this story count, but so did a little boy’s, who was incredibly placed in Silvio’s path while he was a confused college freshman. Not initially conscious of what was happening when he was still a wide-eyed, eighteen-year-old, Silvio, who is also referred to as Vio, embraces his encounter with the little boy, and does his best to pay forward the love which was void in his father’s young life to the little boy who is referred to as his unofficial godson and nephew by bond.

A relational chronicle, Everybody Has A Story, and Everybody’s Story Counts, focuses on people and how Almighty God wisely places certain individuals in Vio’s path, as He does with all of His children at the most opportune times, to teach Silvio lessons and draw him closer to Himself in the process. Some characters are people of faith, and some are not, but one common thread is that each person’s influence carries value, and builds upon the groundwork of Vio’s development as a man. Silvio also very transparently shares the trials and tribulations of his often-rocky relationship with his younger sister, but very importantly, God’s grace abounds as Silvio and his sister conquer the odds and form a friendship as adults; an answer to their mother’s prayers.

1

In the Beginning

Our main character Silvio is a kid from a mid-sized blue-collar city in the southeastern part of Pennsylvania, in the northeastern portion of the United States of America. Railroad City was his home. Silvio Angelo Nosdow went by Silvi or Vio for short. Vio came from a family of American heritage, but Italian-American better defined who he really was. The chubby, curly headed baby was born into a low-middle income family with a lot of love, in January of 1980. His mother, Eleonora Tomeo, was a second generation Italian-American whose pride in the Old Country was as strong as if she was born and raised in the southern part of the boot where her family emigrated from. She beamed with patriotism for the green, white, and red flag. El, as she was lovingly referred to by her friends and family, was born and raised in the same industrial city in southeastern Pennsylvania where her family settled after emigrating from Italy in the earlier part of the twentieth century. Gregory Nosdow, or Greg, Vio’s father, was a good old American boy from Pennsylvania. In addition to Silvi, the family also had a little girl named Angelina, who everybody lovingly called Angie. She came into this world at the end of 1981, all but two years after our main character.

To better understand Vio’s background, we’ll start with his parents. His father had a very troubled youth. He was a rather angry little boy who struggled to express himself properly, to put it nicely. In the mid-nineteen-sixties, before his tenth birthday, Greg’s parents gave him away as a behavioral project to an orphanage. From the age of nine until he was eighteen, Greg only really knew what it was like to grow up in a military style, institutional environment. He had one older sibling, a sister named Pattie, who was raised with her mother and father. When Greg graduated from The Scofield School in 1976, with no other prospects, he returned home to Railroad City and lived with his parents, which happened to be the same town where El lived.

El came from a rather large Italian-American family. Altogether, there were four children, but in the area where they lived, there were many aunts, uncles, and cousins, who played integral roles in not only El’s life, but in her husband’s and children’s lives, as well. We’ll go into much more detail about El’s family in the upcoming chapters because that’s who helped Greg and El raise Silvi and Angelina. El was your typical, smiley-faced, happy go lucky little girl who loved her family, loved her Italian heritage and genuinely loved people. At seventeen years young, El had a teenage, puppy-love type of relationship which would eventually lead to her making the terrible mistake of getting married before she was truly prepared to be someone’s wife. Her first marriage was not exactly what she hoped it would be. Her first husband was a nice guy while they were dating, but he liked the party scene a little too much back then. It didn’t take long for El to realize she wasn’t able to have the serious conversations with her first husband about important topics that married couples need to have in order to grow and prosper.

She grew up in a lukewarm Catholic family, but her religion still played a significant role in her life. The term lukewarm is used to describe the Tomeo’s Catholic faith because many of El’s extended family members were much more committed to the Italian Roman Catholic traditions and practices than her immediate family members were. From the beginning of their time together, her first husband knew faith was important to El, but he didn’t seem very interested in going to church with her, let alone seeking any kind of a relationship with God, which really bothered his wife. For numerous reasons, the marriage lasted less than two years, and ended in divorce. An interesting twist to the story is that El actually met Greg while she was still married to her first husband.

Silvi’s parents initially met while working at Bondle’s, a distribution center for a budding chain of department stores located in Eastern Hills, PA just outside of Railroad City. The co-workers stumbled across one another pretty frequently during their daily work assignments, but at first, those interactions were strictly professional. Personality-wise, Greg was innocent, almost naïve, but he also had a genuineness about him. His institutionalized upbringing didn’t help his social cause, but Greg’s no-nonsense approach really intrigued El. As their interactions increased, a friendship began to develop, but knowing his friend had a ring on her finger meant she was off limits romantically.

One day at work, however, everything changed. During lunch, El sat Greg down for a heart-to-heart conversation. Though usually very private when it came to personal matters, she could no longer hide what had been growing inside of her for some time. She told Greg she’d been in a miserable marriage for almost two years and didn’t love her husband any longer. When she initially disclosed this to her work friend, he appeared very surprised, almost astonished to learn the news. Over the course of the next few weeks, conversations between the two became more and more frequent. Knowing she had to take the lead, a decisive El told Greg she was planning on leaving her husband. She felt terrible about her predicament, and didn’t want to hurt her first husband, but in her heart, El knew leaving was what she needed to do.

Once the split took place, El made it very clear to innocent-minded Greg that she desired to get to know him on a deeper level, more than just as friends. In speaking with the Roman Catholic priest who married her, El learned she would need to pay money to the church in order to have her marriage officially annulled. She understood the concept, but the idea of paying bothered her dearly. Not only was this a problem for her financially, but spiritually speaking, the now nineteen-year-old was simply not at peace. The drawn-out process was a bad experience from start to finish. It left a bitter taste in El’s mouth, and ultimately motivated her to leave the Catholic faith, altogether.

Now that she was officially available, El and Greg’s courting phase began. The two spent a lot of their free time outside of work getting to know each other in a more romantic way. At first, Greg was a little hesitant, but as time went on, it became increasingly evident that the Bondle’s colleagues had serious chemistry together. Their friendship blossomed into something special, something much deeper than either had ever experienced in their individual pasts. Neither remained at Bondle’s for very long after they began dating.

Amidst the googly eyes and butterflies, the couple’s growing love saw their share of challenges. Coming from the background Greg came from and having the childhood he had, Greg’s mind was filled with confusion when it came to the idea of love. He could never fully wrap his head around how his own parents could sign the papers, and give him away the way they did when he was still such a small child. The lack of love in Greg’s young life left a major void in his heart. His girlfriend filled that void and helped him begin to heal from the pain of his childhood, which was still very fresh in his teenage mind. The love El showed Greg completely and utterly changed his life, helping him make sense of things in ways he’d never understood before. She was everything Greg had ever desired in a woman, but more importantly, El was exactly what was missing in his young life. Likewise, Greg checked all of the boxes of what El needed in a man. The two fell deeply in love with one another. It didn’t take very long for them both to realize they were meant to be together.

As they became closer, the pair came to the realization that God had brought them together for his divine reasons. Faith played a critical role in their courtship and as their relationship grew more serious, Greg and El mutually agreed that in order for their love to last, God needed to be at the center of their relationship. Together, the two began attending a small Lutheran Church located on the same block where El had been renting a second-floor apartment on Railroad City’s southeast side. Months later, she said ‘YES’, and the twosome became engaged to be married. Desiring to further strengthen the foundation of their union, the young couple began taking pre-marital classes at that small Lutheran Church they’d been attending together. Ironically, both the church and El’s apartment were conveniently located about two blocks away from where she was raised. Greg’s parents’ home was on the opposite side of town, in RC’s northeast section. Greg and El both took those pre-marital classes very seriously. They wanted to learn everything they could so their marriage could be a blessed and successful one. In the process of falling more and more in love with each other, they fell just as in love with Jesus, putting him at the forefront of their relationship and desiring for God to be the foundation.

In October of 1978, Greg Nosdow and Eleonora Tomeo exchanged vows at that small Lutheran church where they began to seek The Lord together almost two years prior. The Christian ceremony consisted largely of members of El’s family, and a handful of Greg’s relatives. The bride’s younger sister, Marina, served as the maid of honor and the groom’s close friend, Rob who also went to The Scofield School was the best man.

Bondle’s ended up providing the love birds with something much more special than a job, but the warehouse would always hold a special place in the couple’s hearts. Greg found stable employment at Technical Wire, a communications cable company where he would later work for over forty-three years as a machine operator. When Eleonora left Bondle’s she worked briefly at McDonald’s. Once her son was born, she was more than content with being a house wife and mother.

While El was pregnant with Silvio, her old brother Francesco, who went by Cesco or Cheech, and his wife Rochelle were in the process of opening Molto Bene, Un Ristorante Italiano in northeast Railroad City. After Silvi was born, El worked as a waitress for her brother and sister-in-law. Molto Bene was truly a family affair, but we’ll go into more about the restaurant later on in the story. Cesco Junior, who many affectionally referred to as Cheech, and Rochelle were the owners and operators of the restaurant which also served as a corner bar, and Cesco Senior, who we’ll call Pop Cesco, acted as the bar manager/ bouncer. El’s mother, Catarina, was the chef. She was joined in the basement kitchen by two of her sister-in-law’s; Zia Celia whom everyone called Cilli, and Zia Carmella who was affectionately known as Milli. Zia Cilli and Zia Milli helped with a lot of the preparation cooking, as did Zia Lucia, Catarina’s aunt. The dedicated group did whatever it took to get the job done in la cucina, which means kitchen in Italian, in order to serve the many regular customers of Ristorante Molto Bene.

2

Greg and El - Products of Their Environments

and Results of Decisions Made

At just shy of ten pounds, Silvio Nosdow was a big baby. He had a thick head of wavy dark brown hair and everything about him was fleshy. Just prior to Vio’s birth, his parents purchased a tiny row home about a block away from El’s apartment. The house was small, but with two bedrooms, it was perfect for the growing family. It gave El and Greg the opportunity to stay close to La Famiglia Tomeo on the southeast on side of RC. The home itself was located literally around the corner from the church where Greg and El were married. Fortunately for them, they didn’t own much and didn’t have to move very far at all.

Almost two years later, the Nosdow family grew again when El bore Angelina, a beautiful little girl with blondish brown hair. Friends and family lovingly called the family’s newest bundle of joy, Angie. Both Vio and Angie’s births came via C-section, and both deliveries were extremely painful for El. They took a tremendous toll on her small, five-foot one-inch frame. After Angie’s arrival, and for El’s sake, the doctors strongly advised the couple not to have any additional children. In the early nineteen-eighties, prior to many of the advancements of modern medical techniques, doctors didn’t think Mrs. Nosdow’s body could handle another C-section delivery.

Overall, for the Nosdow’s, life was simple, but good. Family was everything. Greg and El didn’t have a whole lot, materialistically speaking, but they loved each other deeply and they did their best to show Vio and Angie that same love. By this time Greg & El had been together for a little over four years, and the two always made an effort to be as honest and transparent with each other as they possibly could. From the very beginning of the relationship, Greg was very open about his dysfunctional background and the childhood scars that wounded him more severely than even he was cognizant of.

Catarina, who we’re going to call Nonna or Nonna Catarina, which means grandmom in Italian, from here on out, saw a lot of good in Greg, even when he couldn’t see it in himself. From the moment Nonna Catarina heard her son-in-law’s story of being given away before he even reached double digits in age, her heart broke for him. She knew the traumatic experience must have affected Greg deeply. Being the strong, spiritual woman she was, Nonna deliberately chose to give her daughter’s husband grace, regardless of how hard it was for her, at times. That type of unconditional love was exactly what Greg needed, and what he desperately lacked as a boy. Still in his early twenties, Vio and Angie’s father was learning how to live on the fly. Nonna knew her son-in-law needed to be part of a family that truly loved him and wouldn’t give up on him, no matter what.

Catarina Tomeo was a very tough woman. Growing up as a first generation Italian-American in the 1920s and 30s, with a father who wasn’t born in the United States and barely spoke English, she learned early on of the prejudice and racism that was prevalent in the U.S. Her trials made her very street savvy, but at the same time they formed inside of her a compassion for others who found themselves in the minority or against the odds. When it came to her son-in-law, Nonna Catarina had a keen way of lovingly rebuking him when he made mistakes. Then, when the time was right, she would give Greg the motherly guidance and advice that she felt he needed, depending on the circumstance, of course. Nonna Catarina also made a point to consistently remind her daughter El to continue to love Greg through whatever ups and downs the two faced. She herself had chosen the high road many times throughout her marriage to Francesco Sr., who had a very rough story of his own, and wasn’t the easiest man to deal with. Greg’s primary focus in life was to be the best husband and father he could be. He genuinely desired to set the example for his children that he wished he had, when he was their age. In conversation, Vio and Angie’s father would refer, very plainly to his own birth and childhood as the great unwelcome into the world. He came to the raw realization at a very early age, that he merely wasn’t wanted, and he accepted it. Greg wasn’t looking for pity, that was simply his perspective of things. Regardless of his own state of affairs, Greg badly wanted Vio and Angie to have better childhood memories that he had.

Since he was a young boy, our main character’s father had always been the inquisitive type. Sometimes, during Nonna’s famous Sunday family dinners; ninety percent of the time the meals were Italian and the other ten percent, they were American, Greg would curiously bring questions to Nonna and Cesco about life, parenthood or whatever else might have been on his mind throughout that week. He sincerely wanted to learn about life, how to be a good father, and how to be a good husband. He respected the dynamics of the Tomeo household and desired to apply some of those undercurrents to his own family. Not having that type of rapport with his own parents, Greg greatly admired Mr. and Mrs. Tomeo and wanted to absorb all the knowledge he could from them. Francesco Sr. almost always preferred to keep things on the surface, but he took a liking to Greg, as his wife and Greg’s mother-in-law did. Cesco Sr. was a true character. He was a master of the one liner and always ready for action, but we’ll go more into his story in upcoming chapters of this book.

Back to Greg. Always interested in greater detail, possibly stemming from him not being given the pertinent information he needed as a child, or maybe it was merely his personality, either way, Greg was very intrigued by Nonna Catarina and Cesco Sr. Seeing droves of family members travel many miles just to visit and spend time with his mother-in-law amazed Vio’s father. Like them, he was enamored by her cooking. Nonna was usually open to share wisdom with her sponge-like son-in-law, but sometimes Greg’s timing wasn’t the greatest. She knew he desired to connect with her and she enjoyed the teaching aspect of their connection, but in the same token, Nonna understood when Greg needed to be lovingly corrected when his timing was off, or when he joked around too much. He was a needler. It was something he picked up while living in a cottage full of frustrated boys that were around each other way too much. Nonna made it clear to him when he needed to focus and be serious when a situation warranted him to do so, and he respected her for that. He thought Nonna Catarina was tough for telling him how she felt right to his face. No punches pulled! Her honesty was endearing, and her son-in-law loved that about her. Catarina was cognitive of how much her daughter loved Greg, and she loved him like a son, too.

Further knowledge about the upbringings of his parents will help give a deeper understanding of our main character. Greg was a very rambunctious child to say the least. It is more than fair to say that he would have more than likely been diagnosed with any number of behavior conditions in today’s world. The top of the list probably would have included Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Attention-Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), amongst others. In the late 1960s, however, things were very different. One can only imagine what life might have been like for Greg in today’s world where residential treatment facilities and child psychologists are prominent, and therapists work with families to correct behavior issues and find solutions to problems.

By the time he was about halfway through elementary school, a very troubled and angry Greg had built quite the reputation for himself in northwest Railroad City. In school, he had caused enough trouble both amongst his peers and with the teachers, that some teachers all but refused to have him in their classes. One rather dramatic teacher even had the audacity to tell Greg’s mother, Kim, that she thought her son was going to grow up to be a murderer. What a ridiculous thing to say about a seven-year-old boy! It can only be imagined what would have happened to that condemnatory woman had she made those comments in the 2020s. She probably would have found herself in a court of law, and possibly looking for work.

Scared, and not really wanting to deal with her problematic son, Kim Nosdow got creative. Somehow, a loophole was found in the system of a military school, which was essentially an orphanage. The administrators of the school considered taking Kim’s troubled little boy on as behavioral project. Many of the children at the school were orphaned due to their parents dying while serving the country, and because Greg’s father was a veteran who received an honorable discharge from the Army due to medical reasons, The Scofield School, in central Pennsylvania, carefully reviewed the family’s case. Kim’s husband lived at home with his wife, daughter, and young Greg. When it boiled down to deciding his only son’s fate, Mr. Nosdow stood down, and let his wife call all of the shots. In due course, things fell into place, and Scofield agreed to accept the nine-year-old boy.

On a rainy day in the Fall of 1967, Gregory Nosdow was driven roughly two hours away from his home in Railroad City, to The Scofield School, and dropped off on a strange campus. Naturally, tiny Greg was completely confused and very upset. He cried hysterically as his mother drove towards the parking lot’s exit. Convinced she was doing the right thing; Kim didn’t look back. She must have been internally torn. Not knowing what to do, Greg walked wearily from building to building looking for someone to help him, but each entrance was locked. He was lost, and the devastation was starting to set in. Worse yet, the drizzle-filled air turned into a downpour. As he ran from door to door, his clothes quickly became drenched with water. The ten- or fifteen-minutes Greg spent frantically looking for shelter seemed like a lifetime to him. Then, out of nowhere, a nice woman wearing black, cateye glasses appeared. She asked the soggy, tear-filled little boy, Hello, can I help you with something? Greg was so worked up; he couldn’t find words. He just reached out his little arms and hugged the woman for comfort. She then brought him inside for shelter, and once the distraught nine-year-old was calm enough to speak, the nice woman assisted him in getting where he needed to go. When Kim dropped her boy off, there was no way she could have foreseen the chain of events that transpired. Needless to say, Greg’s first impression of The Scofield School was not a good one.

The traumatic experience would play itself over and over again in Greg’s mind for the rest of his life. Initially, to coax her troublesome son into trying out this experiment, Kim told him that it could potentially be a short-term one if he cooperated with those in charge at The Scofield School. She made it clear to her boy that his reward for exemplifying appropriate behavior would be returning home to Railroad City. Aside from cooperating, Greg specifically remembered Kim making a promise to him that if he didn’t like it at his new school, he could come back home to be with his family. Greg may or may not have behaved as well as what was originally hoped for, but his mother’s empty promise turned out to be a nothing more than deception.

From day one of the experiment, Greg despised it. He desperately wanted to go back home to be with his mother, father, and Pattie. While at Scofield, in the days when it was more socially acceptable, Greg was beaten with a paddle whenever he got out of line. Those beatings took place on an almost daily basis for Greg, who unquestionably had a hard time managing his behaviors.

The sub ten-year-old was regularly defiant and had a serious issue with authority figures. That was no secret. Additionally, he fought recurrently with the other children both in school, and in his living quarters. At this very young age, Greg faced rejection and abandonment that no child with two fully capable parents should have to face. Knowing that his mother and father were home with his older sister, baffled Greg. He couldn’t wrap his head around why he couldn’t be with them. It just didn’t make any sense in his young, underdeveloped mind. Eventually, some good would come out of this so-called experiment, but the early childhood trauma Greg suffered was haunting to him.

Needless to say, those childhood scars caused Greg to become a very calloused and angry individual. One of the positives that came about at Scofield was an introduction to the Holy Bible and the Christian faith by one of the house mothers who watched over the children in the cottages where they lived. It was there where Greg developed a passion for reading the Bible and memorizing verses, both of which provided him much comfort during his loneliest moments. One of the first things that the house mother taught Greg was the twenty-third Psalm. Psalm 23 NKJV - The Lord the Shepherd of His People - A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

The famous verse permeated Greg’s young mind and quickly became his favorite. A source of peace for him that he would recite to himself when his feelings of anxiety, depression, and rejection overwhelmed him. Sitting close by the loving house mother as bedtime neared and listening to her read scriptures served as a sanctuary of serenity for Greg as he closed each day’s chapter. That became his soothing nightly routine. Though his actions didn’t always exemplify his budding faith, Greg’s childlike love for Christ and His teachings helped him keep focused during hard times. Moreover, it set his young mind at ease when he needed it most. When it was all said and done, Greg spent the majority of his adolescent years, from age nine to eighteen, to be exact, at The Scofield School, only going back to Railroad City for parts of summers and some holidays.

Like her husband, El also saw a great deal during her juvenile years. Her experiences made her acutely aware of her surroundings, and they also made her see what people were capable of, if given the chance. One of the mantras Eleonora developed as a child, and that she carried with her throughout her adulthood was; if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile. El was definitely very street smart just like the rest of her family. As a youngster, she served as the protector of her younger sister Marina and her cousin Catarina, who was named after her mother. We’ll call Little Catarina, Cata from here on out. El regularly stuck up for the two when bullies would try to take advantage of their timid teenage natures.

The trio grew up living in an urban setting in Railroad City. Anyone who has lived in an urban environment, in particularly in the northeast part of the United States where the houses and buildings are close together and more people are packed into a smaller geographic area, know that daily life is unique and oftentimes, hectic. People of different colors, races, and ethnical backgrounds who under different circumstances, might keep their distance and avoid interactions with their neighbors, are now forced to accept differences and coexist the best way they know how.

It was during her early years when El learned about the beauty of cross-cultural and cross-racial acceptance. The second generation Italian-American girl was never shy about going to the other side of the tracks, to make friends with someone who didn’t necessarily look like her. However, even though the young girl sought to show people love, she typically, and instinctively kept her guard up. She was usually prepared for the worst, and almost always ready to fight. The Tomeo girl used her fists much more than she would’ve liked to, throughout her adolescent days. When she became a teenager in junior high school, El did make quite a name for herself for being bold and outright dangerous.

As we touched on earlier in the story, El’s marriage to Greg was her second, but she was absolutely committed that this would be her last. Her first marriage was essentially a juvenile-aged mistake she made when she was seventeen years young without really consulting anyone or thinking things through. Two years prior, while just beginning the tenth grade, Eleonora decided she had enough of school. She convinced her parents to allow her to drop out, and begin working. In the mid-1970s, although this was very unfortunate, it wasn’t all that surprising, nor uncommon. Additionally, neither her mother or father graduated from high school. Despite being a very good volleyball player with a lot of potential, her mother Catarina only made it to eighth grade. Francesco Sr.’s father forced him to quit school when he was in the ninth grade so that he could work and earn money to help support the large family.

When El initially quit high school, her plan was to work at a sewing factory located within walking distance from her parents’ home. Her father, Cesco’s older sister, Zia Carla, was the floor supervisor at the factory. A few other family members worked as sewing machine operators, too including El’s grandmother; Nonna Maria, and her aunts, Cesco’s sisters, Zia Rosa, and Zia Angelina. El knew that she’d be in good hands.

At the time, Railroad City was still reaping the benefits of the industrial revolution and jobs were pretty easy to come by for an able minded sixteen-year-old who wanted to make some money. Even if things didn’t work out at the sewing factory, she knew she would have other options despite not having a high school diploma. Fortunately, the young Tomeo girl instantly felt at home at the factory, and cherished working with her older family members. Lunchtime was like a big Italian feast. The Polish and German ladies that worked at the factory were amazed at how their Italian co-workers cooked and prepared meals just for work. To everyone’s delight, the Italian women made enough good food for everyone to enjoy, but they rarely shared the secrets to the family recipes.

After working there for a while, El wanted to try something different, so she applied to, and was hired for a position at a local candy factory in downtown RC. This time, she was joined by her shadow, and best friend, Zia Marina. Zia Marina stayed the course with Zia Cata at Railroad City High School while El ventured into the working world. The candy factory was situated on bustling Park Street, RC’s main thoroughfare. There, the sisters’ gained some good experience working on the assembly lines. Some of their tasks were very basic, but the optimistic teenager was happy to work. She found joy in separating and packing the candy as it came down the conveyor line. Years later, El would explain to her children that working at the candy factory with their aunt was very similar to the way it was portrayed in the famous scene from the hit television show; I Love Lucy. In the scene, Lucy and Ethel wrapped, or attempted to wrap, and eventually ate the chocolate candies as they made their ways down the belt. When that working experience ran its course and Zia Marina left for a great job as a customer service representative for the local newspaper, El moved on. After graduating from high school, Zia Cata found a job as a secretary for RC High School. Both cousins were loyal and dedicated workers, who’d later spend well over thirty years each, in their respective positions. It was around this time when El responded to an ad for an opening at Bondle’s Distribution Center. With her big smile that could light up a room, and super positive attitude, she impressed the interviewer and got herself hired.

From the beginning, El really enjoyed working at Bondle’s. Unlike her previous factory jobs, which were stationary, she relished in the freedom of being able to move about the dc. Whether it was picking orders, or fixing problems, the Tomeo girl loved to stay busy and get her work done. Her diligent work ethic, task-oriented nature, and tremendous people skills played to her advantage at Bondle’s. She pictured herself potentially making a career out of working there.

Despite everything she’d gone through in her young life, our main character’s mother was a genuinely happy person. As we mentioned earlier in our story, it was while working at Bondle’s where El and Greg would eventually meet. Almost two years younger than El, Greg had only graduated from Scofield shortly before beginning his occupation at Bondle’s. He didn’t have much work experience under his belt back then, Greg would remain forever grateful for the opportunity to earn some money. He felt blessed because Bondle’s DC was the place where he found the treasured love of his life.

3

Silvio and Angelina’s Very Challenging Early Years

When Greg was blessed with a family of his own, he desperately desired to not only be the best husband and father that he could be, but he was determined to give his children all of the love and nurturing that he wished he had received from his parents when he was growing up. Greg felt, from a very young age, that he was simply the child that his parents didn’t want. These feelings of rejection would one day be validated when he was in his late teens, and his father made a comment to him about the condom breaking. Though he was hurt by the comment, he wasn’t completely surprised.

Greg was a dedicated provider and he loved his wife and children as much as he knew how, but he had trouble controlling his emotions, in particularly his anger. While Vio and Angie were growing up, their father’s passion would frequently get the best of him, causing him to explode over the most miniscule events. To his misfortune, living in a row home, in the city, where everybody basically knows everybody else’s business, Greg’s bad moments were exposed. Worse yet, the Nosdow’s lived only six houses from El’s sister, Zia Marina and her husband Zio Ciro, and in close proximity to Nonna Catarina, Pop Cesco, and Granny Elisabetta, not to mention many other cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. on the southeast side of town. That said, many family members and neighbors, for that matter, knew exactly what was going on in the Nosdow home every time Greg had one of his meltdowns. His anger really put a strain on the Nosdow family, but the Tomeo’s also felt the impact. Fortunately for Greg, El was a very tough woman who strongly believed in living or trying to live a private life. That said, El did her best to contain her family problems to her own home. No stranger to violence and the rougher side of life, El experienced a lot in her own life and she also knew very well who her father Cesco was, in the streets. Most importantly, El loved Greg dearly and she was very fervent about sticking by his side and helping him in any way she was capable. Furthermore, El was fully committed to giving young Vio and Angie a life where both of their parents lived in the same home. To put it plainly, another divorce was not an option for El. This time around, she had a greater understanding of the promises she made to Greg in her marriage vows, and El was decidedly devoted to the specific promise about staying loyally by Greg’s side until death do them part.

Providentially for Vio and Angelina, their Tomeo grandparents and great-grandmother lived only a two-block walk from their house. The Tomeo home graciously became a place of refuge for the children when Greg had his weak moments, and arguments between him and El ensued, as a result. It should be noted that Greg and El usually got along very well and were actually very loving with each other, and their children the majority of the time. Sadly, many of their problems happened at the spur of the moment, sometimes seemingly unprovoked by what appeared to be the most inconsequential of things like Vio and Angie bickering over toys or a game, or if one of their rooms weren’t clean to Greg’s standards. Of course, those weren’t the only things that triggered Greg. He and El struggled through many financial woes and Greg would repeatedly stress about the family’s monetary challenges, especially when El would spend money on things he felt were unnecessary. Those feelings of anger and frustration were very legitimate, and emotions that all people experience, but the problem with Greg was that when he overreacted to something, he would become inconsolable, even by El. Also not in Greg’s favor was his rather large stature and extremely loud voice that would carry through not only the Nosdow’s home, but additionally through the walls and into their neighbors’ homes, as well. The outbursts shook the worlds of his family when they occurred. The deep seeded anger would take control of Greg and he wouldn’t be able to calm down until he went through the entire rollercoaster-like process. The anger and yelling sometimes turned into physical punishment for the children, but on some occasions, the emotional breakdowns ended in tears. The entire ordeals were exhausting for Greg and they wore on El, Vio, and Angie, just the same. On a good note, Greg was very aware that he had a serious problem, just like someone who battles any other type of addiction, and would even refer to himself as a rage-aholic, when he apologized and begged his family for forgiveness.

Battling anger issues for the majority of his life, Greg knew his problem was much bigger than him. It was almost as if his hollering was a plea for help because as a child, he felt like he was never heard, and his feelings were never validated. Greg’s very conscious understanding of his personal battles drove him to pursue God even more fervently than he had done up until that point in his life. Greg’s awareness of his need for help drew him closer to The Lord for he knew that there was no way he could win his spiritual battle with anger, on his own. The fortitude to persevere, and ultimately save his marriage and the married life that he loved had to come from above. He was resolute about being better, and El believed that he genuinely wanted to change. Though it was extremely difficult for her at times, and she didn’t always handle things the right way, El always tried to give Greg grace.

Nonna and Pop loved the idea of being so close to their grandchildren, both physically and emotionally speaking. They were also distinctly aware that young Vio and Angie needed them in their lives if they were going to be able to endure the daily trials they faced in their sometimes-volatile home. They each individually treasured the opportunity they had to be involved so closely in the lives of their daughter El, and her family. Granny Elisabetta’s presence was icing on the cake. Like so many older people who lovingly lose their filters as they get older, Granny was no exception. She was the great-grandmother who was older than everyone, and in her mind, had earned the right to tell those she loved exactly how she felt whenever she felt like saying it. That was never more evident than on one particular Sunday, over a beautiful spread of pasta, meatballs, Italian sausage, fresh Italian bread and homemade tomato sauce, that Nonna had prepared, when Granny called Greg out in front of everyone at the table for beating his kids. She scolded Greg as if he were a child, and told him she knew exactly what he was doing to his kids when he got angry. Then, in classic Granny style, she told Greg about Jesus and reminded him that God sees everything. Greg just sat there, stunned. He got the message, and he respected Granny for telling him the truth about himself.

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Fresh Italian Bread & Mamma El’s Salsiccia & Homemade Meat-a-balls

The eldest Tomeo girl; Zia Annunziata, who everyone called Nunzi and her husband, Uncle O, and their family lived in Maryland. Though they traveled frequently to Railroad City, Nonna and Pop didn’t get to see their grandchildren, Salvatore and Costanza (Sal and Connie) as much as they would have liked. In addition to that, Zio Cesco or Zio Cheech as the kids called him, and Aunt Rochelle had moved out of the city a few years prior, to a beautiful single home about a twenty-minute drive. Once they moved, it wasn’t nearly as convenient as the two-block walk to Greg and El’s house to see little Giulia and Cesco III whenever they wanted to. While there were always Sunday dinners at Nonna Catarina’s house and regular family get togethers, it just wasn’t as easy for Nonna, Pop, and Granny, who didn’t drive, to be included in the daily happenings of their other, older grandchildren’s lives. For many years, Granny owned a car of her own and drove whenever she pleased, but by this time, now in her late seventies, she had handed her car keys in for good.

Nowadays, Granny mainly relied on family and friends to pick her up and drive her around to run errands, attend appointments, and of course, to visit loved ones. As the matriarch of the family, that was never an issue, all of her younger offspring always went out of their way to grant her wishes and support her in any way they could. Nonna and Pop Cesco on the other hand, primarily depended on public transportation to get where they needed to go. Naturally, their children had no problem picking them up and taking them places, but everyone worked and led busy lives of their own. Thankfully, living in the city with buses constantly running, it was pretty easy for them to navigate and get things done without having a car. Both Nonna and Pop enjoyed walking and feeling their feet on the ground in the city they loved anyway, so they didn’t mind taking a stroll from time to time, either. The short distance definitely made it easy to spend time with growing Vio and Angie whenever they were needed to babysit or if they were simply in the mood to stop by and visit. Again, Zia Marina and Zio Ciro literally lived right up the street, so that made the visits even more common.

After selling their big multi-unit row home in the early eighties, Nonna, Pop, and Granny lived together in a nice little apartment above Zio Cesco and Aunt Rochelle’s Molto Bene restaurant. El and Greg both worked at the restaurant and that meant Vio and Angie’s babysitters were always close by and on-call; literally upstairs. With her warm-hearted spirit and affectionate nature, El was one of Molto Bene’s best waitresses. She was highly requested by the customers, too. El was blessed with the gift of a beautiful and accepting personality, and like her mother and sisters Marina and Nunzi, she genuinely enjoyed serving people. These traits made waitressing very natural for El. Greg tended bar from time to time, helped in the kitchen and really did whatever his brother-in-law needed him to do while he was on the clock. Always the funny man with a million nicknames, Zio Cheech jokingly called Greg his best salad girl. The extra money really came in handy for Greg and El when the bills rolled in each month, and the kids loved spending time with Granny Elisabetta, while Nonna cooked with Zia Cilli and Zia Milli. Pop helped Aunt Rochelle and Zio Cheech with the bar, and security on a daily basis. The system worked pretty well for everyone involved.

As Greg and El worked through their issues to the best of their abilities, they humbly accepted all of the love and support that El’s family offered. For the first time in his life, Greg was beginning to learn what it meant to feel part of a family. Despite the great tribulations in Greg’s life, both past and present, he now felt accepted and loved. This filled him with great joy and gave him a heart of gratitude. As Greg learned more about himself as a man, he realized that he operated best when he got a good workout in, either at the local YMCA, in one of the local recreational basketball leagues, or even just going for a run at nearby Railroad City Park. Everyone needs an outlet. Yes, his temper would still get the best of him, here and there, but it was during these times, throughout Greg’s twenties, when he really got serious about his faith in Christ. The scars from what should have been the happiest, most care-free days of his life had a lasting effect on Greg’s psyche, but he was determined to face his demons and change for the better.

Greg and El began attending a small church on the northeast side of town in the mid-nineteen-eighties, close to Railroad City High School, and it was there where Greg really caught fire for The Lord. Forever the passionate extremist, he was telling everyone in his path about what Jesus had done for him. At work, at restaurants, and with family from El’s side, he was becoming a walking testimony for the kingdom of God. It was also during these times where Greg learned that being on fire for The Lord really works better if the fire is more of a simmer. With the best of intentions, Greg found himself attempting to theoretically shove the Bible down people’s throats. In what we’ll refer to as the fire phase, Greg repeatedly found himself bringing up the subject of Jesus Christ, and his Christian faith in practically every conversation he was having.

Whether he was walking down the street in Railroad City, playing with his children at one of the local playgrounds, or going food shopping with his family, Greg assertively looked for ways to witness to others. During those encounters, Greg would regularly end up shouting at someone that he didn’t even personally know. Regardless of the setting, if a person didn’t immediately embrace what he was saying, Greg would anxiously break into a sweat and raise the volume of his voice as he would fiercely tell them they needed to repent of their sins and ask God for forgiveness. The aggressive style didn’t bode well with most. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Greg’s attempt at brotherly love ended with him having bloodshot eyes and spewing scriptures from the Bible, as spit flew from his mouth as he told them about the dangers of Hell. It was through these experiences in which Greg learned through trial and error, how to approach people in a more peaceful way when he felt moved to witness to someone and share his strong faith.

No surprise to anyone who has had an encounter with Almighty God and has attempted to live a Christian life and walk with Jesus, the devil relentlessly continued pursuing Greg. As he sought The Lord and continued on his spiritual journey, Greg experienced many high highs where he felt very close to God. In the same breath, he also saw many low lows where he fell back into old habits and let his anger get the best of him. During the worst times, El did her best to remain loyal to her husband, but in reality, she feared for her children’s safety in the midst of Greg’s meltdowns. Greg’s voice of reason often came from his mother-in-law, Mrs. Tomeo, who as mentioned earlier, had a way of speaking peace and logic to him when he needed it most. Granny Elisabetta, who was a strong-faithed woman herself and never shy about pulling out her worn Bible that looked like it was falling apart at the seams. Full of bookmarks, highlights, and notes all over the place, Granny was proud to share her faith with the seeking Greg. They shared many inspiring conversations through the years and like it was with Nonna, when Granny talked, Greg listened. Many days, Greg felt like he was in a spiritual battle and the only way he knew how to fight it was through reading the Word, praying, conversing with other God-fearing believers, and his favorite; worshipping. Greg’s go-to artists when it came to worship and praise music were paisano Dion DiMucci and Elvis Presley. Dion’s Kingdom in The Streets, and Elvis’ gospel tracks were played almost every night in the Nosdow’s home.

At the time when Greg and El got married, Greg was only nineteen, and El was two months shy of her twenty-first birthday. Even well into their twenties, with two young children to care for, the young couple was still in the figuring things out stage of their relationship. Greg’s years away at Scofield definitely taught him how to survive. He learned at a young age what he needed to do to maintain his solace amongst his peers, and he also learned that other kids would