The Misadventures of George and the Talking Butt: The Beginning

By J. L. Frankel

Meet George Smith.

George is a good kid; he really is. He listens to his parents and tries his best to pay attention in school. He enjoys spending time with his friends and his family. Overall George is just an ordinary ten year old boy. Well, almost ordinary. You see, George just heard from someone he never thought he would hear from...his butt. George just discovered his butt can talk.


With his new sidekick behind him, George’s life just became a little more complicated and a whole lot funnier.


Follow George and his talking butt as they stumble into one situation after another.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bradley & Brooke Books
• Release date: Jul 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9781662930980

Book preview

MEET GEORGE SMITH

On the surface, George Smith was a completely ordinary ten-year-old boy living in an ordinary town with an ordinary family. Even his name, George Smith, was as ordinary as it gets. In fact, Smith is one of the, if not the, most common last name in America, and George, well, George is not much more exciting. If you asked him, he would tell you that George is definitely not the name he would have chosen for himself. If he had been given the choice, and George definitely thinks kids should be able to choose their own names (how awesome would that be?), he would have picked something like Brandon the Destroyer, or Dragon, or something cool like that. But nobody asked him. It is hard being a ten-year-old with a name like George. People were always trying to come up with nicknames for him, but none of them were ever cool, so he was stuck with George. It could’ve always been worse, though. Last year, his friend Drew was walking home from school and accidentally stepped in dog poop, and since then, everyone would call him Poo Shoe Drew, so sometimes, it is not a bad thing to have a boring plain name.

On top of his unexciting name, George had a pretty ordinary appearance too. He was average height, average weight, and had ordinary brown eyes. His hair was an ordinary shade of brown, at an average length without any curls or waves. The only unique thing about George’s appearance was that there was a piece of hair that stood up straight in the back of his head no matter how hard he tried to brush it down. If you were asked to describe George to a police sketch artist, there would be no identifying features other than the piece of hair sticking up in the back of his head. But, despite his boring name and totally ordinary appearance, there was something very NOT boring about George. If everyone knew this one little thing about George, they would call him unique, strange, or even amazing, but we will get to that soon.

George lived in a town called Bluffsville with his mother, father, little brother Evan, and his twin sisters Samantha and Abigail. He was the oldest child in the Smith family, and of course, his little brother and sisters got everything they wanted. That is how the Smiths ended up with two cats named Dog and Fish and a fish named Puppy. You can imagine how confusing it was when they tried to introduce friends to their pets, so George stopped trying and just pretended that he didn’t actually have any animals. He had been begging his parents to let him get a hamster forever, since his siblings each had a pet. He even promised them that if they let him get a pet hamster, he would keep it in his room and take care of cleaning the cage and feeding it all on his own. But no matter how many times he asked, he always got told no. They kept telling him that he was lucky to have his own room and that he should just be happy with that, but what good is having your own room if you can’t get what you want in it? But George didn’t complain. Having his own room was really important to him. It was his own private space where his little brother and sisters couldn’t bother him. It’s where he could play video games, talk to his friends on the computer, oh, and of course, let his butt talk as loud and as much as it wanted.

MEET GEORGE’S BUTT

George has a talking butt. Really. He has a talking butt. That might sound weird, but it is the truth. One day, George was just sitting there, watching his favorite cartoon on TV, when all of a sudden, he heard someone asking him to change the channel because they were bored. At first, he thought it was his brother Evan, because he would always complain when he didn’t get to watch what he wanted, but George did not see him anywhere. So, he got up off the couch and started looking around the room. He looked behind the window curtains, and even under the couch cushions, but no one was there. He gave up looking and flopped back down on the couch.

That is when he heard someone scream, Ouch, careful! He jumped back up and threw off the couch cushions, thinking again it was Evan playing a joke on him, but Evan was nowhere to be found. George ran to get his dad and dragged him into the television room. They looked around the room together and again could not find anyone. George’s dad told him to stop playing around and that if he was so bored, he should just go to his room and do his homework. But Dad, explained George, searching for any excuse to not do homework, There could be a stranger in the house. I definitely heard a voice in here. But his dad said that if he was so bored that he was making up such ridiculous stories, then he really should finish up his homework, so George started walking up the stairs to his room. As he was walking up the stairs, he heard the voice again.

Hey, where are you going?

This time, George stopped and, because he did not know what else to do, decided to answer.

I am going to my room because Dad does not believe that I am talking to someone.

Well, that doesn’t seem fair, the voice replied, and George agreed. He asked the voice who he was, and the voice said, I am your butt. Of course, at this point George was completely shocked and confused.

How can my butt talk? George thought to himself.

He must have wondered out loud, because his butt replied, How should I know? I am just a butt. George quickly ran back downstairs to tell his dad that he had figured out where the voice was coming from, that it was his butt talking. George’s dad stared at him for a few seconds and then said that if George did not go upstairs and finish his homework nicely, he would not get dessert after dinner. That was when his butt yelled, That’s not fair!

George agreed with his Butt, Yeah, that’s not fair!

His dad just looked at him and said, George Smith, if you don’t get your butt upstairs in the next 10 seconds, you will be in big trouble.

George said, Aha! So, you did hear my butt! However, instead of admitting to hearing the butt, George’s dad started counting to ten. George quickly turned around and ran back up the stairs directly to his room. Once he got into his room, he laid down on his bed to think.

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