Summary of Jen Lancaster's Bitter is the New Black
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#1 I was a waitress on a boat in college. I would have killed to work there. Instead, I slaved away in a shitty campus bar serving college athletes who considered a good tip a quarter and a grope worthy of a sexual harassment suit.
#2 The trip was a company function, and I couldn’t be bothered with most of the people there. All the sales weasels were hanging on my every word.
#3 I am nothing if not professional. I head to the bathroom on the boat, and while it’s small and dark, I manage to fix myself up. I am tall and strong, and lean. I am not yet wrinkled, and my skin is clear and golden brown from the sun.
#4 I love Ryan, my sorority brother who works in the Manhattan office. He is always Dolce Gabbana’d from head to toe and his grooming regime puts mine to shame. He says that the hot drink in New York these days is the mojito, which is made from Puerto Rican white rum, the premium stuff.
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