Daring to Care God’s Way: Growing Through a Lifetime of Adventures and Misadventures

By Janet L Barr Bayman

Daring to Care God’s Way follows
the adventures and misadventures of Janet Barr Bayman throughout a long and
fulfilling life of service to the kingdom through caring for people of every
race and culture.

It was Janet’s faith in God, zest for life, and
passion for people that worked together to enable her to overcome obstacles
encountered along life’s journey. Her stories will lead readers to personally
enter into her tragedies and moments of redemption with surprising joy through
every plight in a deep and meaningful way. A brilliant writer with a passion for
creating vivid images, and amazing ability to capture stories with imaginative
words will grab your heart. Her trust in God through every quandary, giving Him
credit for victories, will benefit every reader and leave them inspired to also
pursue great things for God with God. 

Long after you’ve finished this book, you will still
be thinking about Janet’s exploits and left wondering if God is challenging you
to begin a similar adventure with Him yourself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Castle Quay Books
• Release date: Aug 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781988928685

Janet L Barr Bayman

Janet Barr Bayman calls herself “just an ordinary Jersey girl,” albeit she admits to being a bit quirky. But her life story reveals she is so much more than ordinary! She studied English, art, international religions and small business, and wrote a series of American history textbooks, and facilitated a rewarding summer school course at Peking University in Beijing, but it was her life of adventure that expanded her skills well beyond formal schooling. Early encounters with racism in the Deep South, aroused a compassion for minorities and disadvantaged segments of society, ultimately leading to her heart for people of all races and to a ministry in prisons and mission activities in developing nations. A meeting with Charles Colson, author and founder of Prison Fellowship, inspired her into extensive involvement in prison ministry. Wherever Janet goes, faith, family, and friends light up her life as she discovers the joy and sometimes trauma, involved in a lifetime of relationships. She currently lives with her husband, Gerald, in Arizona and British Columbia.

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When I agreed to read Janet Bayman’s memoir Daring to Care God’s Way, nothing prepared me to be catapulted into such a colorful and mesmerizing time capsule. Her book is a kaleidoscope of carnivals, prisons, international adventures, and beautiful relationships. The author’s authentic passion for deep and loving friendships is the thread that brings meaning and value to every experience in her home and around the globe. Janet doesn’t sugarcoat the deep pain of disappointments or the deaths of her husband, Dave, and their beloved son, David. It is evident that Janet’s faith in God and zest for life have gifted her to overcome obstacles in her life and find great stories of redemption and joy in every plight. Janet is a brilliant writer and her passion for creating vivid images and words will grab your heart. Long after you’ve finished this book, you will still be thinking about her exploits in China, Africa, Thailand, and beyond. If you want an engaging read that helps you see the world through vivid lenses, this is your book.

Heidi McLaughlin

International speaker and author of Fresh Joy, Sand to Pearls and other books

Daring to Care God’s Way is a wonderful story of how the faithfulness of God takes a Jersey girl through good and difficult times and enables her to be a true blessing to the world. Each of the stories Janet tells so well—from the international evening with friends from Germany and Mexico to her experiences in prison ministry, the unexpected passing of her son, and her life in Africa and China—draws you in and makes you want to read more. Janet’s life is a model for all of us. Through thick and thin, she has been faithful to God and enabled him to use her to bless people from all over the world. Read this book; it will encourage you to live life to the fullest.

Karl H. Mueller

DAI Senior Consultant, North America Diaspora Ministry

Janet writes from her heart. She has experienced people from many walks of life and gladly shares her love across the spectrum of humanity. God’s light shines through her everyday life, and her book reflects God’s love for all his people.

Audrey Alderson, founder of Audrey’s Angels, a nonprofit organization that provides live music to enrich the lives of elderly and disabled adults in small group homes

Daring to Care God’s Way

Copyright ©2022 Janet L Barr Bayman

978-1-988928-67-8 Soft Cover

978-1-988928-68-5 E-book

Published by Castle Quay Books

Burlington, Ontario, Canada and Jupiter, Florida, U.S.A.

416-573-3249 | [e-mail] | www.castlequaybooks.com

Edited by Marina Hofman Willard

Cover design and book interior by Burst Impressions

All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form without prior written permission of the publishers.

Scripture quotations are taken from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. • Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Title: Daring to care God’s way : growing through a lifetime of adventures and misadventures / by

Janet L. Barr Bayman.

Names: Bayman, Janet L. Barr, author.

Identifiers: Canadiana 20220240795 | ISBN 9781988928678 (softcover)

Subjects: LCSH: Bayman, Janet L. Barr. | LCSH: Trust in God. | LCSH: Christian biography—Canada. |

LCGFT: Autobiographies.

Classification: LCC BR1725.B39 A3 2022 | DDC 277.108/3092—dc23

To Gerald the Great

Who fanned the ashes of aging into fresh flames of love and joy

If you want to go fast,

Go alone.

If you want to go far,

Go together.

African Proverb

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

From the outset, I must acknowledge that my life has been far from perfect, and this book isn’t perfect either. Although I have attempted to be as accurate as possible, I am sure there are errors in dates and places, and some names have been changed to protect the innocent (or not so innocent).

In 2001, after Dave and I returned from teaching English in China, Bob and Audrey Alderson, friends from our church, encouraged me to record our adventures in the form of a memoir. Without their insistence that everyone has a story worth telling, those experiences and other aspects of my journey through life might have remained hidden in the dusty attic of my mind.

In 2005, the Lord brought Dr. Patience Akpan Obong, an accomplished journalist and teacher, across my path at a women’s ministry meeting. When we met that day, I had no idea that she and her husband, Tim, would become cherished friends and that Patience would be the catalyst I needed to keep remembering and writing.

Sisters Anne and Paula Cargill, distinguished retired schoolteachers from North Carolina, devoted one entire summer to reading my manuscript and making sure my grammar wasn’t too unorthodox. Karl Mueller, a longtime friend who specializes in helping pastors and other key players reach their full potential as servant leaders, offered valuable suggestions. Then, when my project was at a critical point, God brought Heidi McLaughlin, a delightful new friend, into my life. Without Heidi’s friendship and practical suggestions regarding publication, based on her experience as an international speaker and author, this book might never have found its way from aspiration to publication.

The supportive and patient professionals at Castle Quay Books, especially Larry Willard and Marina Hofman Willard, patiently coaxed the best out of me and supplied the expertise to pull everything together. And my granddaughter, Savannah Oldeschulte, used her God-given talent, education and professional experience to contribute to the essence of my journey in the cover design.

My very special kids, who are eager to discover all the stuff they never knew about their mother, deserve thanks for their encouragement to get it done. When my elder son, Doug, asked for a prepublication copy, he said he found it so enthralling that he read the entire manuscript in one sitting. That kind of affirmation certainly touches a mother’s heart.

Each person who has encouraged me deserves recognition, but one individual stands out for his extravagant love and devotion. Without the technical assistance of one wise and wonderful Canadian gentleman, I would have drowned in an ocean of computer glitches. And without his extraordinary patience when I was busy writing instead of cooking dinner, this book might still be a dream. Gerald Bayman is not only an amazing and incredibly loving husband; he is truly God’s gift to me for such a time as this.

Foreword

After some forty years as a legal permanent resident in the United States, my husband finally became a US citizen one summer morning in 2006. After the citizenship oath-taking ceremony, we filed into the lobby of a downtown Phoenix court building where friends and families waited to congratulate the new Americans. One man stood out stoically above the fray of the milling crowd: Dave Barr. Tim and I walked up to him and asked where his wife was. His eyes scanned the crowd. In the thick of it was Janet speaking animatedly to a small group of people.

As we approached her, she drew us into the circle for introductions. From this group, Janet took us to another—and another! She told us the names and nationalities of the people with her, when they arrived in the United States, and what they did for a living. The familiarity and warmth with which she talked with the people might indicate longtime relationships, but that was not the case. She had just met them.

I recall this moment each time I think of Janet Barr (now Janet Bayman)—and other moments (such as my daughter’s wedding and my fiftieth birthday banquet) when I witnessed her instantaneous immersion and interest in the lives of strangers. Describing Janet Bayman as a people person would therefore be a gross understatement. A multitude person is more accurate. Janet has a radar for new faces and an enthusiasm to turn strangers into family and friends. She did that to me.

Though I don’t recall when I first met her, I know that our relationship took off in 2005 when I joined the women’s ministry in our church. On my first day of attendance, I hesitated at the door of the church sanctuary, awed by the sight of so many women, uncertain what to do or where to go. Just as I was about to make a quiet retreat, a hand shot up from one of the groups clustered around tables on the far side of the room. A woman in a green flowery outfit stood up and waved in my direction.

In a room of more than a hundred women, it was Janet who saw me. She invited me to her table and made room for an extra chair for me. That was how I joined a small group of God-loving women led by Rose Jackson. Soon they had become my Tuesday morning women and my spiritual support base for many years.

It is therefore not by accident that Janet’s book is about relationships. The title itself immediately captures her love for the multitudes that she has encountered in many countries and continents. Indeed, only a woman who values relationships as Janet does would have children and grandchildren from Ghana, Nigeria, China, and the United States. She is truly a mother of many nations.

In her inimitable writing style and humor, she introduces us to her global family and shows us how much better it is to do life together. In framing the vignettes in this book through her relationships and her extensive global travels, she provides us with a glimpse of her remarkable life, one characterized by many blessings and sorrows. She shows us that in joy and sorrow, we can be resilient, faith-filled, hopeful and appreciative of every moment. This book is a treasure trove of examples of life’s coping strategies, how to live, how to fall and get up again and how to thrive and flourish beyond the inevitable moments of pain and trauma.

The theme of relationships is the thread with which this skilled writer and storyteller interweaves so intricately nine decades of an exciting and adventurous life. However, Daring to Care God’s Way also achieves many other things. For one, it provides an informative account of contemporary United States history narrated with the innocence and delightful ignorance of a child. As the Jersey girl grows into a fully aware woman with extensive cross-cultural and transnational experiences, we see a shift in the narrative, and the book then takes on the role of a travelogue or geographical chronicle of people, cultures, places and experiences across many countries and continents. In all its roles as a book on relationships, contemporary US history, and travelogue, Daring to Care God’s Way is truly a precious and invaluable gift. I am glad that it has finally manifested.

Beyond the delightful stories, Janet’s book is a valuable manual for practical faith and perseverance, especially during the valley seasons of life. The examples of divine intervention affirm God’s faithfulness in all circumstances. I believe that readers will be blessed and encouraged. They will also laugh because the book sparks joy, an inevitable feature in a book written by a multitude-person who brightens the heart of every stranger she encounters.

Patience Akpan-Obong, PhD

Author of Letters to Nigeria: Journal of an African Woman in America

San Tan Valley, Arizona

INTRODUCTION

Are you bored with life? Feeling wounded or disillusioned? Too old for anything exciting? Ready to give up?

At various times in my life every one of those perspectives described me, so you are not alone. There was no happy ever after for this Jersey girl when the marriage of my youth ended in my mid-thirties. I was left with no husband, no car, no job, and no chance to pursue my chosen career. On the plus side, I was blessed with four children, even though I knew raising them on my own would be a challenge.

Maybe you can guess how lost I felt, how utterly hopeless. But my floundering didn’t last forever. Things started to change when I took a chance on opening my heart to God. Daring to care and trust God with my heart and life was step number one. Then came the healing that allowed me to love fully and find new life with a wonderful new husband who thought my flaws were blessings in disguise. When my heart opened, other doors opened too. Doors to the most amazing places. Places like prisons where we shared God’s love with hurting residents, and China where my long-held dream of teaching school was realized when I was sixty-five. Places like a mud hut in Africa, where I had the privilege of praying that the peace of God would comfort a young man on his final journey.

Things change. Life is not static. Dave, my much-loved husband of thirty-three years, died. I crawled into the safety and security of a widow’s cocoon. But God had other ideas. That cocoon turned out to be a chrysalis that morphed into new life, just like the proverbial butterfly.

What’s more important, those doors can open for you, too. You may not be led to minister to men in prison, teach students in China or pray with people in Africa. You may not emerge from your chrysalis and be blessed with an incredible new husband at age seventy-eight. There is no magic formula, but if you are willing to take a leap of faith, no matter how tough life has been, how bored you feel or how old you are, God just might have a grand adventure waiting for you. You, too, can find joy and fulfillment in daring to care. It’s never too late to step out with God leading the way!

ONE

JERSEY GIRL

Child of Hope

It was 1934. A year when desperate men lined up looking for work while others who had lost all hope plunged to their death from open windows far above the city streets. A year when women wept while they scraped together whatever they could find to feed their hungry children. A year when couples found solace in each other and gave birth to little ones nine months later. It was the year this Jersey girl was born.

During the Great Depression, when this child of hope arrived, seeking a job was often fruitless or frustrating at best. My father, Ken Thompson, tried everything from planting trees for the Civilian Conservation Corps to roaring around as a dashing cop on his Indian motorcycle and peddling vegetables from a market on wheels. I have heard that he considered it all one big adventure. Like my father, I have always been eager to jump into the unknown, even though our goals and adventures were very different.

In my case, being adventurous usually means opening my heart to someone or something new. It might be a person who has been rejected or abandoned, or simply someone I hope to know better. As I make my way through life, it becomes increasingly clear that walls come down and relationships are richer when I care enough to reach out. It could be a neighbor across the street or across the world. Every adventure involves risk, whether it is scaling the Matterhorn or letting the Lord lead the way up a spiritual mountain. Have you ever wondered what God has in mind for you? If you are willing to be adventurous and step out of your comfort zone, just remember to check with your leader before you go. It takes godly wisdom to know if an adventure is God’s plan.

I’m sure my father, who was an amateur herpetologist, thought his new job running a snake show with a traveling carnival was perfect. It might have been less appealing to his young wife, however, since she was assigned to work with the magician. That’s how my pretty but shy little dark-eyed mother, whose name was Charlotte, came to be sawed in half twice a day. Apparently, that trick wasn’t harmful because I arrived safe and sound right on schedule. The only problem was that one of their fellow carnies stole everything Mom and Dad had worked so hard to accumulate. Since the secondhand crib was gone, they had to lay their baby girl in a dresser drawer. Mom said that was okay because it was a perfect fit.

When Mom and Dad’s time with the carnival ended, Dad found work as a carpenter and our little family of three moved to Somerville, New Jersey. The first place I remember living was on the bottom floor of an old two-story white frame house. My first friend, Bobby, was four years old, and I was five. Since I was getting ready for kindergarten in the fall, I knew my alphabet and I was learning to read, even some of the hard words. Bobby couldn’t read yet, so I liked to pretend that I was his teacher.

One summer day we were running through a field near our house when we discovered an old can of tar and a beat-up brush lying in the weeds. Bobby and I were ready for an adventure so we took turns dragging that can back to our house. After we managed to pry the top off, we tried to mix that thick tar and Bobby went to work painting a black cat on the siding.

When it was my turn, I painted a Chinese character that I remembered from one of Nana’s books. Nana was my father’s mother, and she said Chinese characters were much more artistic than our plain old ABCs. They looked so complicated that I wondered how Chinese children ever learned to read and write.

I had just finished painting my character when Bobby’s father pulled into the driveway and came to see what we were doing. For some reason, his face got red, and he told Bobby to get in the house. I figured it might be time for me to stop painting too, so I used my shoe to pound the lid back on the can of tar. When I stepped on the porch, our dog Rocky wagged his tail, and I stopped to pet him before I went in. I loved that old hound, but he wasn’t very popular with our neighbors because he chewed up the brand-new corn broom on their front porch.

Bobby and I thought we were making our house look pretty, but I guess his father didn’t like our pictures because he went to work trying to remove them. It must have been a hard job because when I opened the window, I could hear him muttering some bad words under his breath. I never tried to decorate the house again, but I could hardly wait for school to start because I heard we would get to paint pictures in kindergarten. It was true. I loved dipping my fingers in little pots of paint and watching pictures emerge right before my eyes. Maybe God was already preparing this child of hope for a lifetime of adventure.

South Bound Brook

Before I started first grade, our family moved to a little two-bedroom bungalow in a small New Jersey town called South Bound Brook. It lies just across the Raritan River from Bound Brook, which is where Nana lived. Bound Brook is an old town that sprang up in 1681 near a stream of the same name. A Revolutionary War skirmish known as the Battle of Bound Brook took place there on April 13, 1777.

Bound Brook was also famous, or perhaps infamous, for something else. In 1829, the humble graham cracker was developed by the Reverend Sylvester Graham, an eccentric Presbyterian minister who made his home in Bound Brook. Graham crackers may still be popular today but I’m not sure they ever cured the dread fever of lust as the wacky reverend intended. Apparently, his preference for hard mattresses and cold showers, in addition to simple crackers, didn’t do any lasting harm to the good people of Bound Brook. After all, it is known today as a bedroom community.

By this time, I had two brothers named Don and Bruce. Every now and then, Mom and Dad took us to Saturday matinees at the Brook Theatre. Nana told us that theater was known as the Vaudeville Movie House when it was built in 1927, and it had a big fancy light in the ceiling. People came from miles around to see the latest vaudeville acts and silent films, but I wondered if they had as much fun as we did when Roy Rogers and Dale Evans rode into the sunset on Trigger, Roy’s golden palomino. I figured out that Roy Rogers wasn’t a real cowboy, but I liked his Happy Trails better than the grainy black and white newsreels from WWII that exploded on the screen before the movie started. Sometimes when I saw Nazi planes bombing London, I wondered if any of the children ever had a chance to grow up.

South Bound Brook wasn’t as big as Bound Brook and we didn’t have a movie theater, but it was a good place to live anyway. People took care of each other in those days, and the Selbys, who lived next door, were good neighbors. One December our whole family caught the flu, and all five of us piled into Mom and Dad’s bed. Mom said it would be easier to care for us that way, and she was too sick to cook anyway. At first that was okay because I couldn’t hold anything down, but after a couple days I began to wonder if the Bound Brook Chronicle would say the Thompson family in South Bound Brook died of starvation just before the holidays. Maybe it was a Christmas miracle, or maybe it was the big pot of chicken soup that Mrs. Selby brought to our house that kept us alive. Whatever the reason, we recovered just in time to string cranberries and popcorn and make paper chains to hang on the spruce tree that made our house smell like the forest on a rainy day. That day I learned that everybody needs somebody sometime, and neighbors who care for each other are a great blessing, especially when they know they could catch the flu by going to your house.

Mom worked at the Bakelite plant, which was famous for making the world’s first synthetic plastic. We always had enough to eat, even when Dad had a hard time finding work as a carpenter. There was nothing like a supermarket in South Bound Brook, but we bought vegetables like corn and tomatoes from nearby fields, and we went to a small grocery store in town for a few special things. Tamaki’s, a little market on the corner, sold products like Absorbine Jr. for Dad’s sore muscles and tins of tobacco and papers for the cigarettes he rolled. Mom bought Fels Naptha soap there too, for stains that were too tough for our