The Fortune of the Palms

By Ithaka O.

Everybody and their neighbor's dog thinks they can handle the truth.

But the truth is, they can't.

 

Three years ago, Madame Polonaise's Palm Reading Salon went by a different name: the Scientific Palm Studies Institute.

Decorated more like a dentist's office than a fortunetelling shop, the Institute suffered from misbranding. Only when Madame Polonaise gave up much of her self-respect (and abandoned words like "objective," "logical," and "scientific") did she manage to revive the business. The keywords she uses nowadays include "mystical," "esoteric," and "cryptic"--perfectly in line with her clients' truly false (or falsely true?) expectations.

But one evening, a man with a palm that is most alien to her wants a reading. And when Madame Polonaise sees him for what he is, she cannot look away from the truth anymore...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Imaginarium Kim
• Release date: Aug 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637930847

Ithaka O.

https://ithakaonmymind.com/

Book preview

1

Nothing? was what the clients always said.

Absolutely nothing, was what I used to say, gazing down at their hand in my hand using the extremely professional, highly courteous, impeccably scientific approach that any self-respecting palm reader would adopt. "Your life is absolutely free of any significant events. Until the day you drop dead, you will lead a more or less healthy life despite the amount of sugar and processed food you stuff into your body. You will even get a few promotions at work despite your obvious lack of interest in your career, for around you, there will be people who make their lack of interest in their careers even more obvious."

This was when the client would stop repeatedly asking Nothing? Which was when I’d assume (wrongly, stupidly, inexperiencedly) that they were simply overwhelmed by the good news, and continue on:

Even more encouraging: despite your lukewarm attitude, your spouse won’t leave you.

Oh.

Same with money. No going homeless, no going bankrupt. You’re truly blessed.

Oh, in that regard, I guess. But no… big adventures?

No.

And no… great true love of my life?

No.

So my life’s gonna be like this for…

Forever. Until the day you die. Of natural causes.

It was then that I used to beam at the client across the clean white square table. That table, and also the simple white walls and the bright energy-efficient lamps adorning the ceiling, had been an obvious choice. Same with the name of the business: the Scientific Palm Studies Institute.

What else would a self-respecting palm reader of the 21st century choose for their fortunetelling salon? Candles that posed a significant fire hazard? And one of those tacky antiquated round tables with soft purple velvet thrown over them? What, was I also supposed to wear bone ornaments in my hair, along with some raven feathers, then suffocate and blind the clients with thick incense by intentionally removing the windows while ignoring the building code? Clients who, according to their self-descriptions, consulted a palm reader out of the pure desire to know the truth and nothing but the truth?

Yes. The answer was a resounding yes.

I’d learned this the hard way, after one hundred and thirty-seven clients who left one-star reviews on Yelp and no tips. I’d told them nothing but the truth, yet there I was, in my spotlessly clean salon, which, in hindsight, looked more like a dentist’s office than anything else. And yes, I’m not exaggerating. It took me one hundred and thirty-seven to realize that something was awfully wrong.

Mostly, the reason it’d taken so long was that I simply couldn’t imagine why anybody would want to be lied to. Do not lie. Lying is bad. That was something I’d been hearing for all my life, thirty long years, in kindergarten and elementary school and junior high and high school, then society thereafter.

But come to think of it, my mother never told me that. She’d never recommended lying, but she hadn’t told me to not lie either. So I should’ve read between the lines. My mother had been a wise woman.

Everybody and their neighbor’s dog thought they could handle the truth. But the truth was, they couldn’t. And once