Vacations Don't Always Work Out: Flight of the Maita, #25

By C. D. Moulton

A vacation on Tlorg results in the discovery of a scheme that could destroy the universe? Kurk joins the crew.

Critic comment: 2016
I like this one, because of the fantasy parts. They are explained and are consistent with the basic theory of the series.
I have always liked the golems. They are hilarious, and remind me of some of the people I know. By the end, I liked Kurk. A lot!
The story is good, and is not dependent on having read the former book concerned with Tlorg, though it would be, I think, harder to know where it was "coming from," thus I recommend reading Now You See It - Now You Don't first.
Be that as it may, I rate this with four stars.
**** LP-H

• Language: English
• Publisher: C. D. Moulton
• Release date: Jul 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201315030

Book preview

Flight of the Maita

Book 25

Vacations Don't Always Work Out

(Return To Tlorg)

© 1988 & 2019 by C. D. Moulton

all rights reserved: no part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any other information retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder/ publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

A vacation on Tlorg results in the discovery of a scheme that could destroy the universe? Kurk joins the crew.

Critic comment: 2012

I like this one, because of the fantasy parts. They are explained and are consistent with the basic theory of the series.

I have always liked the golems. They are hilarious, and remind me of some of the people I know. By the end, I liked Kurk. A lot!

The story is good, and is not dependent on having read the former book concerned with Tlorg, though it would be, I think, harder to know where it was coming from, thus I recommend reading Now You See It - Now You Don’t first.

Be that as it may, I rate this with four stars.

**** LP-H

Contents

Prologue

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter six

Interim

Chapter seven

Chapter eight

Chapter nine

Chapter ten

Chapter eleven

Epilogue

About the author

CD was born in Lakeland, Florida, in 1938. He is educated in genetics and botany. He has traveled over much of the world, particularly when he was in music as a rock rhythm guitarist with some well-known bands in the late sixties and early seventies. He has worked as a high steel worker and as a longshoreman, clerk, orchidist, bar owner, salvage yard manager and landscaper – among other things.

CD began writing fiction in 1984 and has more than 300 books published as of 3/15/16 in SciFi, murder, orchid culture and various other fields.

He now resides in Puerto Armuelles, David, and Gualaca, Chiriqui, Panamá, where he continues research into epiphytic plants and plays music with friends. He loves the culture of the indigenous people and counts a majority of his closer friends among that group. Several have adopted him as their father. He funds those he can afford through the universities where they have all excelled. The Indios are very intelligent people, they are simply too poor (in material things and money. Culturally, they are very wealthy) to pursue higher education.

CD loves Panamá and the people, despite horrendous experiences (Free e-book; Fading Paradise). He plans to spend the rest of his life in the paradise that is Panamá

- Estrelita Suarez V. de Jaramillo – 3/15/2016

CD is involved in research of natural cancer cure at this time. It has proven effective in all cases, so far. It is based on a plant that has been in use for thousands of years, is safe, available, and cheap. He has studied botany, and was cured of a serious lymphoma with use of the plant, Ambrosia peruviana.

Information about this cure is free on the FaceBook group, Ambrosia peruviana for cancer. CD asks only that all who try it please report on its effectiveness on that group.

Prologue

Steven Parker Zutec, better known simply as Z, was born on, raised on and abducted from the planet, Terra, some three hundred seventy eight MGS (Maitan Galactic Standard) years before, sat on his terrace patio on Empire Center, a planet situated at the center of gravity of three differently colored stars. Empire Center, or EC, as they called it, was exactly what the name implied. It was several thousand plazsis (MGS lightyears) from the place of his birth. He and his friends now resided there.

Z was reading a CD Grimes detective novel written about the time he was abducted back on Earth. The red sun was just coming up as the green one was sliding down behind the lush mountain behind him. The fragrances of the Maxillaria tenuifolia orchids, the odor of hot coconut cake, wafted from the cascade of the plant next to the waterfall to his left. Behind him the spicy scent of the brassos, another orchid, but a hybrid with large yellow blooms, mingled.

He had a tall glass of juice with a flavor somewhat like pineapple juice with a touch of cloves to which he had added a shot of a rum-like liquor. There was a plate of amaranth muffins to nibble on (It wasn't really amaranth, but one could hardly discern the difference). He was deeply absorbed in the overly-complicated plot of the book, called Murder, He Guessed. He had watched a TV show called Murder, She Wrote just before he was abducted by the Pweetoos, an insectoid race, so he understood the connection.

The temperature was exactly right – as was everything else on this paradise world. He was surrounded by unbelievable beauty at every turn. The trees, beds, rocks and every available spot on the island, which was his personal property, were covered with orchids and orchid-like plants he had collected on hundreds of worlds. There were also many bromeliads, bromeliad-like plants, rhipsalis (Ditto), ferns (Ditto), anthuriums (ditto), camellias (Ditto), caladiums (Ditto), etc, (Ditto) all around.

The mountain started at the sea edge, extended three kilometers under the sea (Where his closest organic friend planted its own gardens) and extended more than three kilometers in height so he had all the climates necessary for any of the types of plants he liked. The small waterfall earlier mentioned, containing fantastic fishes, eels, snails, clams and so forth (As well as many of the lifeforms that closely resembled fishes etc.) fell into the pool toward the side of the terrace. The inset scene along the mountainside and extending underfoot, inlaid by the famous Parf artist, Tous, two centuries ago, was an extension of the beauty surrounding him.

There were no artists in the entire galaxy – which was to say the Maitan Empire – to match the Parf.

Well, maybe some of the Woost. (The Zulians are a special case in all cases. They, of course, have some artists as skilled and talented.) A world they had recently had one of their Little adventures on had the finest rugs and tapestries they'd ever discovered anywhere, but the Woost and Parf seldom used those forms.

Life was absolutely perfect and Emperor Maita, Z's closest inorganic friend (Maita is a large spaceship, is independently intelligent and was forced to become emperor when the group first established the empire – not a thing of choice, either) could extend that life to any length Z chose.

In the three hundred seventy eight plus years they had been together there had been no time for real boredom to set in so the two organics and the three plus machines remained a close group. They often went on what were rapidly becoming labeled across the Maitan Empire as The Emperor's little adventures.

Some of those who had for short times been members of the group chose to allow a normal lifespan, raise a family and die a natural death. Some took a shortterm extension, then settled down to raise a family etc. It was the choice of the individual. Z felt there was a great deal left to do before he chose to end his life. There were on the order of sixty billion star systems in this galaxy alone to explore and the several thousand he had already seen were each unique in its own way – not to mention Maita had shown that they could go to another galaxy where there were as many more star systems!

The small tentacled being climbed the rocks from the sea, stayed low under the plants until it was above the terrace the Terran was occupying, then stealthily climbed a tree, swinging slowly and silently from limb to limb until it was behind the waterfall. It slowly inched along a branch, moved silently over to the rocks, grasped along small irregularities on the mountain's face and dropped quietly onto the ledge over the entrance door to the Earthman's domicile in a cave under the mountain. The eyes on short stalks carefully scanned the area, each seeking a separate spot as they worked independently of one another (An extremely disconcerting trait to those whose eyes didn’t work in such a manner). It noticed a scanner lens watching it, made a sign with its extendable mouth, coiled the lower two tentacles, studied the jump, then sprang onto the Terran's head and shoulders, wrapping all four tentacles suddenly around to pin him immobile in his seat.

A short, startled yell escaped Z's throat as the book went sailing across the floor and amaranth muffins rolled around, coming to rest in odd places.

Thing, the tentacled being and Z's closest organic friend, leaned over to stare into Z's eyes with its own.

Why, hello there, Thing! Z greeted brightly. Anything new and interesting happening?

Thing, having no lungs or vocal chords, but being an empath couldn't speak directly so Maita had from the outset of their strange partnership assigned it a tone and user circuits on all the emperor's own systems. Thing used the speakers through its empathy to communicate with others – except Maita, Tab, Kit, TRD-60 and T6, the five machine members of the group who received and sent directly to it – with words.

Thing's tone was a tuning fork sound before and after each thing it said ( [...] ) and a lower pitch than Maita's, which were preceded and followed by a higher bell-like tone ( * ).

(Author's note: the system of denoting Thing's and Maita's words was established in the first chronicle of the empire before there even was an empire and has continued. I'm not about to change it now. Maita has established the tones in a complicated interior pattern that fastcom carries exclusively for them over the entire empire. Everyone now knows it's Emperor Maita or Advisor Thing when those tones sound. )

The other mechanical friends each had a vocal sound all its own.

Thing and Maita also usually spoke in long unstressed paragraphs containing no obvious paragraphing. That was no longer necessary, but was done that way at first and no one bothered to change it. Everyone has become used to it.

They played the silly juvenile stunts on one another constantly. It was fun – and they all had a great sense of fun – and kept them on their toes, so to speak. Each had its individual sense of humor, too. They loved to make jokes, both practical and otherwise.

The jokes went through stages. Recently it had moved from puns to double entendres to simple outrageousness.

[ Ha! You yelled! I got you that time! ]

*It did, you know. I was watching ever since it came from its gardens. You were so absorbed in that stupid book it could hardly miss! You could have waddled up the path and jumped on him, Thing. He was oblivious to everything.*

[ He has sensors he made himself if I'd tried that. I know about them. I had my own sensors watching him while he hooked them up! ]

You can unwrap anytime you like, now, Z suggested. It's hardly comfortable having a lump of Silly Putty your size sitting on my head while ... Gmfpth!

Thing wrapped a tentacle across Z's mouth. [ Doesn't he make the oddest sounds when I do that, Maita? Look how blue he turns – and just because I sort of stop him from breathing! How odd! Maybe I should make a longrange study of the phenomenon. I could do extensive research for University and Library! It would be a rather short term study, though. Once he's dead he won't make noises or turn strange colors anymore. ]

Thing released Z, then dropped to curl into a ball on his lap. The two stalked eyes peered up from the tentacles, which always amused Z. The affection they felt for one another was obvious.

*I'm getting bored. Let's turn the empire over to the servos for awhile. With things running as smoothly as they are for the past few years no one will ever know if we never come back! I'd like to see a few of the places we haven't been back to for the past couple of centuries if only to see how well things are going. Do you realize we haven't been back to Vendu in more than half a century? We haven't been to Zeena, to ... hey! Let's start at Tlorg! Remember the fun we had there? I'd like to see how those people are doing. I think the satellite needs readjustment or something while we're there anyhow, too. It's given some strange readings. That will be an excuse to go!*

Maita spoke in a mechanical form and until recently hadn't used contractions at all unless it was losing its temper (Oh, yes! It definitely had a temper!) or was under stress for some reason. As Thing's voice was produced by Maita it followed the same patterns Maita did. It was beginning to use them more, now that it could analyze where they would better serve. When it was away from Maita and using the translator on its floater it tended to use more of them.

[ We could go back as Boss and Maybe. We could explain that Extrx decided to stay home to raise a family. That's what Tom actually did. They still have the salve jar we gave that Verfral warrior. We told them it was wizard's gold and would turn to stone if Boss died. Did you know I once went back to Tlorg, Z (Changes)? Only for a few hours, but I had to go back. It was about the time you and.... You and Tab were off on something or other. The thing with those stock markets. Remember? ]

That was only a few years after we were there! Z cried. What happened? I thought we had a satellite up and no one would go there until they were advanced enough.

*Immins happened. They were trying to set up a base there to hide their criminals. Remember Net? It was his son Thing contacted. Called him Kene, didn't you, Thing?*

[ Yes, Maita. He was a wizard. Z, he opened Martin's box! Martin said that progeny of Net would be a famous wizard. He was quite old when I was there. He asked me about Boss and Extrx. He had a demon of a type I'd never seen before with him. The demon was living on Tlorg then, but had been back home fifty some-odd times. Kene would open a portal anytime any of the demons wanted to come or go. ]

*Tab also went to Tlorg a few years ago as a magician to solve a murder. He said things were about like we'd described. Not very much had changed. A Frome came to the agency to get help. The demons there seem to come and go pretty much as they please.*

I guess King Lear set that system up, Z said. He and – what was her name? – Wald! That's it! Obe Lear and Wald sort of made the demons welcome at the palace.

*It was Obe's son, Pan, who was king at the time Thing was there. The demon was a Pluton – from the plane where they call Tlorg Hades. They are an extremely fierce-looking people and even I....*

What?! Pan!? Z exclaimed. Hades? Plutons? Great jumping Jehosaphat! And I always thought ‘King Lear’ was a coincidence!

[ I take it that Pan and Hades and Pluton were also mythological beings on Earth? ]

Hades was the Greek name for hell, Z replied. Pan was a Greek god. Pluto was another name, Roman, I think, for the god of the underworld. Don't tell me the Pluton was bright red, had horns and a spear-tipped tail and had cloven hooves!?

[ How did you know?! ]

*That's mean, Thing! Wruk was more orangey than red!*

You're putting me on! Z cried.

[ On what? ]

*I've read all that stuff from Terra. I hate to say it, but Hades' atmosphere has a rather high concentration of sulfur oxide, which the Plutons on Tlorg – or the one, anyhow – have to add to their diet as organic sulfur compounds. They were advanced about to the stage Earth was when you left. Nuclears, jets, and all that stupid crap.*

My God! Z cried. "We've seen a lot of.... Is it possible that...? The planal interface would allow Earth to reach Hades, too?

I don't see how that could be!

[ Z, the Pluton didn't really look like that. It was a little under three meters high, was black-furred, had strange eyes that phosphoresced, had teeth a little longer and sharper than Ape's were, the canines were like tusks, sort of, and went to his chin and his claws were just a little longer and sharper than Tom's were. It was the general basic K-form shape as you or the Tlorgians except it was very powerfully muscled. It didn't ... you're looking at me like I'm crazy! ]

That's something we've known for centuries, Z quipped. You're describing a demon from Earth's oldest dark era mythology. You're describing Beelzebub or Astoreth or a hundred others. This is weird. How can you explain it?

*In infinity there have to be an infinite number of similar or even identical possibilities, so.... I don't believe that for one single second! Thing, run the math for planal displacement physics through (Thing's race are the most intelligent beings known. It can handle mathematics even machines such as Maita can't. It understands the planal interfaces which is abstract concept taken to ridiculous the extremes). See if there's a possibility Earth and Tlorg can both use a nexus at Hades.*

[ I have to have dimensional interstice points for Hades. From what I can tell without those coordinates Tlorg has to actually BE Earth! Do you know what that means, Maita? Transcend dimensional nexus.... Shift the Zibek scale to a qat base on the ... oh, wow! Maita, it's basic! We all know the omniverse is a point. If the various universes that make up the omniverse are also expressed points we can superimpose anywhere on anywhere else. We could step from Tlorg through Hades to Earth. Instantly! Maybe that's how the transmats work? We never did find the math behind them. We copy the original portals we found and we use them, but we don't know quite how.... Step along the dimensional interface ... which is impossible! This is fascinating! Absolutely fascinating! ]

What does all this foolishness mean? Really? Z asked.

*It means none of it really exists even to the extent we've always worked under knowing it all adds up to zero. If Thing's right about this, and it's always right about mathematical constructs, we can ... what?*

[ Oh, it's not right, I'm sure. If it was.... If that theory's right things don't just add up to zero – they are zero. ]

Which means?

*None of us exist. Shall we go to Tlorg to find out? Boss and Maybe ride again! I'll even take the golems out of storage!*

[ You kept them? You actually kept Yes and No? ]

*So I'm just a sentimental old fool. Sue me! If we're all in agreement we can leave as soon as arrangements are made for the handling of your extensive estates whilst we become otherwise engaged. I'll prime the servos. If we don't come back it'll be centuries before anyone suspects we're not here. Isn't it great to feel so needed?*

It really was a great feeling to be heading