Promise of the Wolf Moon: Sakana Series, #4

By Amanda LeMay

After all the broken promises, the crushed dreams, the lies, and ultimate betrayal, I leave behind a male who sought only to control me…change me…break me.

 

I come home to my pack, to the mountains, to Red Lodge, Montana.

I return to the two small females I'd left behind. The twins I raised since they were babies and love as though they were my own flesh and blood.

We're a family once more and I will never give them up. Not again.

It's a promise I will never break.

Then the rogues come. The devastation they cause and what I did to stop them will be with me forever. The pain, the loss, the need for revenge nearly overwhelms me.

 

In my darkest moment, a male appears out in the snow.

His fresh, earthy scent cuts through the cold and fills me with hope.

His strong arms enfold me, warming me down to my bones.

Seff Weylan – my sakana – the one male bound to my mind, body, and soul.

 

Can we overcome our pasts and welcome a future together?

Will he stand beside me through everything to come?

Will he embrace the sakana bond binding us with unwavering trust and unconditional love?

Will he accept the twins, take them as his own, and promise to protect them with his life, as I do?

Will he fight at my side to avenge the lives lost?

 

As my wolf sweeps through me, I embrace her as never before.

I surrender my humanity to the dark, untamed instincts I've buried so deep

even I don't recognize who I am anymore.

For what I am about to do, a dangerous, wild animal is what I need to become.

Show no mercy. Kill on sight.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Amanda LeMay
• Release date: Jul 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201381042

Amanda LeMay

Indie author Amanda LeMay grew up on a small farm in Southern California reading every sci-fi book her dad passed on to her and watching every classic horror movie her mom shared with her. Her love for paranormal romance was an easy leap. Amanda published her first paranormal romance – full of dark sexy wolf-shifters called KISS OF THE WINTER MOON - in February 2018. Her wolf-shifters share a rare and special bond with their mates: the sakana bond, a rare and ancient bond that links their minds, bodies, and souls. Amanda still lives in Southern California with her own Alpha-male husband and two grumpy cats and dreams of living on the beach in Texas. When she isn't writing, or thinking about writing, (or plotting, or characters, or dialogue, or world building), she's probably working on any number of crafts, sewing, gardening, or lost in another authors' wonderful dream world. She plots most of her novels while walking, or driving, or while on long Texas beach vacations sitting outside listening to the waves. She loves reading paranormal romance, fantasy romance, sci-fi romance, contemporary romance...well, just romance in general. Visit Amanda’s website at www.amandalemay.com. Make friends with her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/amanda.lemay.18041 And follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/AmandaLeMaybks.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

The twins’ round, shining eyes stared back at me. Their brown coats were a shadow in the forest.

Run. Hide. We’ve practiced this.

White clouds formed in front of their faces with each panting breath.

I know you’re scared. Be strong. Be smart. Run to the tree and wait...wait...

For me.

The words stuck in my throat. If those who attacked my pack were who I assumed they were...

Don’t even think it.

Wait until it’s safe to come out.

Nereida and Arteisma understood what to do. They might be young, but I’d taught them well. Dear ancient gods, I never dreamed they’d need it, but they were prepared.

If I’m not back by sunrise, you know what to do. Where to go.

Determination was set on Nereida’s face as she gave me a quick nod. She’d keep her sister safe.

Nereida had my courage. Arteisma had my heart.

They weren’t my blood, but I’d raised them, taught them, loved them, and deep down to my wolf’s soul, I wished they were mine.

One last hug and a whispered, Be brave. Be silent. Then, I let them go.

They disappeared into the forest, their shiny brown fur blending with the dark shadows cast by the snow-laden boughs.

Leaving the young to hide on their own went against every human instinct I had. But the motherly impulse to stay and protect couldn’t override the fierce female wolf inside me. Facing those who had attacked our pack was the last thing I wanted to do and the only thing I could do.

Now, I stood motionless for what seemed like forever, listening, waiting to hear the crack of twigs underfoot, the rustle of branches brushed by legs, hips, or shoulders. Muffled shots. A howl of pain. The wind had died down, leaving me to scent only what was near me—evergreen trees, decaying leaves, earth, snow, my own cold sweat.

The snow fell faster, thicker, quickly erasing the twins’ tiny paw prints.

We were alone. None of my pack-mates had followed. Whoever had attacked my pack hadn’t seen us escape. They weren’t tracking us.

Yet.

Fat, icy flakes collected on my hair, my naked shoulders, and the back of my neck.

I whispered a prayer. Gods protect them. Protect us.

As my wolf swept through me, I embraced her as never before. I surrendered my humanity to the dark, untamed instincts I’d buried so deep even I didn’t recognize who I was anymore.

For what I was about to do, a dangerous, wild animal was what I needed to become.

CHAPTER TWO

Hidden in the trees , I stared at the thin, pale, naked male as he jerked a scope from his rifle and chucked it into the open trunk of a car.

I don’t need to use this stupid thing, he grumbled. It’s not like I’m aiming for their heart. I just need to hit them.

Silent, motionless, I stood sniffing the cold air, listening for the crunch of snow underfoot. Two distinct, unfamiliar scents sat heavy in the surrounding area. Every wolf instinct I had told me the male standing next to the car was alone. For now.

Even in this anemic human form—pasty, gray skin, short black hair, ice-blue eyes—his odor was male wolf. Underneath the stench of his unwashed body, he smelled wrong...unhealthy. Weak.

Rogue.

It was the only explanation.

After the Lake Crescent attack a couple of weeks ago, Rule Arwan’s rogue sons had vanished. They had recruited former members of their now-disbanded San Francisco pack to help avenge their father and pack Alpha after the Tribunal had rightfully condemned him to death.

All but two of the rogues had died during the attack.

Show no mercy. Kill on sight.

My muscles twitched with the rush of adrenaline pumping through my veins. I focused on the male in front of me. The fucking cowardly rogue. In a blink, darkness fell over me, and my wolf soul took over. My goals—to taste his blood, crush his bones, beat him senseless. Make him feel pain like he’d never felt before.

Make him fear me.

Kill him.

In the next second, I was on him. Slashing. Biting. Tearing.

He scrambled and swung the rifle at my head.

I didn’t feel the impact. All I felt was a blinding, bloody rage that pushed me to kill the coward flailing in my grasp and damn the consequences.

I clamped the rifle in my jaws. The male held on and gritted his teeth while he yanked on the butt end.

Let go!

On his next yank, I shoved him hard, burying his body in the snow. Then bit down on the rifle until the barrel bent at an awkward angle.

No!

Glaring down at him, I snorted and tossed the damaged rifle away.

A deep, driving hunger for vengeance had already buried every ounce of compassion, mercy, or kindness I possessed. The frail thread of humanity screaming in the back of my mind slipped away, leaving nothing but my wolf.

And she was angry.

The night disappeared along with the forest, the snow, and the earth beneath my claws. Nothing existed but pain. Mine and the rogue’s.

Please!

The male lay in a ball at my paws. Deep crimson splotches and spots painted the once-pristine snow around his shredded body. I felt his blood, thick and sticky on my lips and tongue. The warmth of it spread down my chin, neck, and chest and chilled me to the bone.

Please...please...

His strangled plea touched something inside me. I stared down at the injured male. My stomach twisted not only from the taste, but from the sight of what I’d done.

Pain and fear flashed across his face with each trembling breath he took. His entire body sagged as tears filled his eyes.

Please. A ragged sob tore from him. I don’t want to die!

Wincing, I stepped back, putting distance between us.

No mercy. Kill him. Finish what you started.

No. I needed this rogue to draw in his brother. In the end, I’d show them as much mercy as they would have shown my pack—I’d kill them both.

Show no mercy. Kill on sight.

Turning away, I retreated into the forest and waited. I didn’t know how long my pack-mates would be in a paralyzed state. What had these rogues planned? Paralyze an entire pack, then what? Tie them up? Torture them to death like they had their own siblings? Their own mothers and grandmothers? Apparently, they had no clue how many were in my pack because my parents were in town.

Unless they’d already found them.

Mom and Dad are safe. They’re okay. Even if the rogues caught them, they’d just paralyze them, right?

I scented the other rogue moments before he appeared. And how had these animals ever sneaked up on my pack? This rogue made no attempt at stealth. He hadn’t even taken two seconds to check out his surroundings. He’d burst through the trees in human form, naked, carrying a rifle, and headed straight for his wounded brother.

All emotion. No brains.

Lucas? A bloody hand reached out. Help me.

The rogue stumbled to a stop and stared down at his brother as he lay in the snow, then I saw his fingers clench hard on the rifle.

I held my breath.

Is he that cold-hearted? Will he paralyze his own brother and kill him?

Lucas, help me.

The rogue dropped the rifle as his knees hit the snow. He swiped a hand over his face and mumbled words I couldn’t hear. I watched as his furious gaze swept along the tracks I’d left in plain sight. Anger flashed hard on his face, but he didn’t come after me. He turned away and focused on his brother. More mumbled words, then the rogue shrieked as his brother lifted him into his arms.

Do it. Do it now. Kill them both.

But I didn’t move, much less breathe.

Lucas saw what I had done. The blood. The tears. The anguish on his brother’s face. The pain. The fear.

I wanted to scream, "How does it feel? How does it feel to be so fucking scared?"

Say nothing.

I watched as Lucas gently laid his injured brother in the back seat of the car then closed the door. He stepped around to the trunk, pulled out a small box, and set it on top of the vehicle.

Silently, I wove through the trees to a fresh vantage point. Lucas picked up his rifle and studied the ground until he found my tracks. He raised the rifle, aimed, and squeezed the trigger. He pulled another dart from the small box and loaded it, then fired in the direction my tracks indicated I had gone. Without a word, he repeated this four more times, each time more rushed than the last. I watched as his hollow gaze swept the forest. I almost wished he could see me—the wolf who had escaped them and taken out her blind rage on his brother.

Lucas took one more glance at my tracks, then tossed the rifle and box of darts into the trunk. After slamming the trunk lid, he pounded his frustration out on the roof of the car. He laid his head against the door, shaking as if he were crying, but the sounds he made were not of sadness. He was laughing. A crazed sort of laugh that made my skin crawl. He mumbled something I couldn’t hear, then turned and stepped away from the car as he looked into the sky. A wide grin spread across his face.

Then, he shouted, I’m going to hurt you. I’m going to make sure there is nowhere you can hide.

He climbed into the car and carefully backed out along the tire tracks they’d made traveling in.

I’d wait until they were long gone before retrieving the twins from their hiding place. Tears burned my eyes as my humanity rushed back in where only my wolf had been seconds ago.

I didn’t have time to fall apart. Not yet. Not while my pack-mates lay paralyzed, out in the cold.

I stood, listening to the fading sound of tire chains crunching through snow until I heard them no longer.

CHAPTER THREE

My Alpha and his mate lay in bed, Coleman draped over Lucy, apparently to protect her. It hadn’t mattered. I’d found Tillman, my former...almost mate...facedown just outside of the cookhouse. He’d only had time to strip out of his thick jacket and thermal shirt. The rest of my pack-mates, all in their wolf forms, had scattered—a few near their homes, most out in the snow. I’d brought them all together, here, in my Alpha’s yurt.

I kept expecting Coleman to come barreling down his loft stairs, demanding to know what the hell I was doing dragging wolves into his living room. He never did. He never would.

He was dead. Lucy was dead.

Tillman was dead.

They were all...dead.

Rage swept through me as I stared down at Tillman, the male who had failed me in every way possible. Angry tears clouded my eyes, but I refused to cry. Not for Till. I flipped the last sheet over his lifeless body before I did something I’d regret.

I stepped over to Nereida and Arteisma’s birth parents. I love those two beautiful little females with all my heart. I promise I will continue to love them and protect them like... I bit off the words. There were thousands of promises I could have made, but none of them mattered now.

Tillman and I had been down in the larder when the first two quick muffled shots had come from inside our Alpha’s yurt. Till had cursed at the unknown interruption. Apparently, my other pack-mates had shifted and scrambled. Some had gone on the attack but hadn’t gotten close before several shots had followed. Others had run, and more shots had sounded off. I’d run and had grabbed the twins, then silently slipped them out the back door of my yurt, upwind, into the thickest part of the forest. And there, I’d left them on their own, away from danger. And death.

I heaved a sad, stuttering sigh as I assessed the dead, each killed by a tiny dart. My parents, the twins, my brother, and I were all that remained of the Red Lodge pack. I refused to believe my parents had been caught up in the rogues’ plan. The rogues wouldn’t have gone out of their way to an area populated with human residents and tourists to track down two lone wolves. As for my brother, Decker had survived the Lake Crescent attack and, as far as I knew was still there.

Slowly, I surveyed the room. Coleman and Lucy had embraced our simple, off-grid life. In fact, their home was as spartan as one could get without it looking as though no one actually lived there at all. No pictures, no artwork, no collections of knickknacks, or evidence of a hobby of any kind. The small kitchen area was just as sparse: a water storage tank on the counter and a basin to wash up and rinse off the few cups and plates stacked on a built-in shelf. Beneath the loft bedroom was a curtained-off area they used for their clothing, boots, shoes, and a few books.

I ran my hand along the surface of the only piece of furniture in the living room—a U-shaped mortar and cob-mud bench. A seating arrangement Coleman had used each time he met with other pack members. The bench faced the large wood-burning stove and seemed to work to funnel heat into the loft bedroom. Over the years, the hands of every wolf in the pack had polished the rough cob-mud surface to a smooth matte finish. Now, these wolves lay dead on the rug-covered wooden floor. Aside from my own breathing, the only thing I heard was the creak of the metal pipe running from the wood-burning stove through the exhaust opening in the middle of the yurt. The scents of my pack hadn’t taken on the smell of death...yet. But they would soon.

I was alone.

A shuddering breath shook my entire body. Tired beyond belief, I hurt all over. Not only my muscles and bones, but also my heart and my soul.

There wasn't time to cry or feel pain. If I let go of one single tear, they might never stop.

Nereida and Arteisma needed me to stay strong.

How will I explain what happened?

I might have taught them what to do and where to hide when danger came, but I’d never taught them how to deal with the aftermath. This lesson would be the hardest of the twins’ lives.

I glanced around once more—a room full of the dead.

The only thing left was to get the word out to the other packs.

The radio.

I ran barefoot over the snow-covered bridge that connected the Alpha’s residence to the sixty-foot yurt we called the cookhouse. With my feet wet and frozen, I slipped and came crashing down on my left hip as I barreled through the door. I lay there breathing raggedly as pain shot through my body. I shoved it away. No time to feel it. No time to feel anything.

Though I knew they were gone, the rogues’ odor still lingered in the cookhouse, mixed with fruit and vegetables and that evening's dinner. I could taste their scents on my tongue—acrid, hot, wrong.

The office door stood open. Four hand-held radios lay smashed on the floor next to the desk. I shoved up from the floor and limped into the room. The ham radio sat on a table to the left of the door. The tiny red power light was dark, unlit.

The radio is off.

The radio is never off.

I flicked the switch. Nothing. Nothing.

The unit sat cockeyed from its normal position. A quick glance at the back told me what I needed to know—a three-inch tail of power cord was all the rogues had left behind.

We’re utterly alone.

If this storm was as big as predicted, we’d be completely snowed in by morning. More isolated than at any other time.

My lungs seemed to seize, making it difficult to take even shallow breaths. I rubbed at my chest and grimaced as a panicky feeling punched me in the stomach.

Nereida? Arteisma?

A familiar tingle raced up my spine.

Not the twins.

Decker.

My twin brother.

He’d feel my intense emotions even in Washington. He’d know something was wrong. Knowing there was no phone reception here, he wouldn’t try to call. Whether he’d alert his Alpha was another thing. He had ignored what I’d gone through with Tillman and laid all the blame for that failed relationship on me. Consequently, I had zero faith he would do the right thing.

I was on my own.

At least until my parents returned.

If...

Don’t. Don’t even think it.

The low rumble of a car engine floated up through the valley.

Mom? Dad?

No. That wasn’t the truck.

The rogues. They’re coming back?

I stood frozen, listening, waiting.

Maybe the injured rogue had died.

Then...I...killed him.

Would his brother leave him? Dump him out into the forest? Would he turn his car around and come back to finish what he’d started?

I couldn’t stand there and wait for the one uninjured rogue to hunt us down.

I should have killed him when I’d had the chance.

No mercy. Kill on sight.

I sprinted out of the cookhouse, jumped the wooden deck railing, shifted into my wolf, and landed on all fours.

Snowflakes built up on my white-blond coat, adding to my camouflage as I blended in with the wintery forest. I stood still, silent, searching the nonexistent breeze for a scent. The tingle I’d felt earlier was back and much more potent. Two hundred yards away, the unmistakable headlights of a dark-colored Jeep lit up the snowflakes like sparkles. The passenger door swung open. A blond male jumped out. Then, the Jeep hit a deep stretch of snow and came to a sudden halt, the front bumper buried and the tires spinning.

I knew this male. I knew his scent, stance, and so many other things about him he never wanted me to know.

He plowed through the knee-deep snow, shouting, Desarae!

My brother’s scent hit me like a slap in the face. He couldn’t smell me, but he might have sensed I was near. We’d always had a twin thing...until he’d broken it.

Desarae!

I wanted to open my mouth and greet him, run to him, throw my arms around him and cry like a newborn. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Not after what he’d done...what he’d said.

Deck, you overbearing, dick-waving jerkface! You are not allowed to change the rules of our non-relationship every time you come home!

I might have needed my twin brother, but he had made it plain he did not need me. Ever. His choice.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

On my next inhale, something—someone—I’d never scented before came to me on the barely-there breeze. Rich, earthy, comforting—the smell of a pine forest in the height of spring when the new cones begin to form and the soft bright green needles emerge from the tips of branches.

Desarae!

The crazy, rapid beating of my heart drowned out Deck’s desperate calls.

The driver’s side door opened. Another male slid out of the cab, his boots sinking deep into the snow. He was taller than Decker, with dark, wavy hair drifting past his broad shoulders. His eyes didn’t follow my brother. He seemed to search the forest in my direction, as if he could sense my hiding place. He shrugged out of his heavy jacket and let it fall to the ground, then yanked his shirt from his jeans and pulled it up and off. Deep shadows defined his heavily muscled chest. Crouching, he worked at his boot laces.

Desarae, dammit, answer me! Deck turned and slogged back toward the Jeep.

I slipped through the powdery snow on silent paws until I stood directly in front of the mysterious male. His head shot up, his dark eyes locking onto mine. I had the strangest feeling I’d known this male forever, maybe in a hundred other lives, and we’d been searching for each other.

I took on my human form, the snow a sudden icy shock on my knees, feet, and hands.

The male’s gaze slowly roamed my face and moved down my neck to my breasts. His cheeks flushed a rosy pink, as if he’d never seen a naked female before. His lips moved, but he failed to speak.

And, dear gods, I wanted to hear his voice.

But other more critical issues took precedence.

They’re dead. The words came out in a tight whisper.

In the next second, he was on his knees in front of me. His heavy breaths formed white, misty clouds as his eyes continued to search my face. He reached out to me, his fingers beckoning me forward. And, I needed him to hold me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my cold skin against his warm chest. His arms came around me, and even though the heat of his body flowed through mine, I couldn’t stop shivering.

My pack. My teeth chattered as I whispered. So many dead.

He pulled me in tighter. His lips touched my temple, then my cheek, and then the corner of my mouth. A hot skitter of desire surged through my body and made me gasp. I felt a strange, protective rage come over him as if it had bled from my body into his. He took my face in his big, rough hands. A smoldering fire seemed to settle in his dark eyes as he gazed into mine with a determined intensity that matched my own.

Whatever it takes. I will kill them. I promise. His whispered words were a solemn vow. I will kill them all.

An accent touched his deep, rich voice like he’d come straight from the heart of Texas. And I loved the sound of it.

But...how did he know? Could he smell the rogues?

Des, Decker said from behind me, his tone annoyed. What the hell have you done to your hair?

The male’s fangs elongated as he stood, bringing me along with him. Anger lit his eyes and, for a second, I thought he’d beat the hell out of my brother. Unfortunately, my brother would enjoy it.

A deep, dark growl rumbled out with every word the male spoke. Deck, you better change your—

What the fuck is that? my brother demanded.

Ah...my tattoo.

The male in front of me glared over my shoulder at my brother. His entire face had gone hard and tight. When he tilted his head back to me, every ridged line softened. You’re bleedin’, darlin’.

Decker scoffed behind me. Darlin’? Darlin’? What is this ‘darlin’ shit?

I shook my head and fought the urge to wipe at the stickiness covering my chin and neck. It’s rogue blood. I injured one of them.

Injured? I’d torn into that bastard. Ripped flesh. Broken bones. He would never recover from what I’d done to him.

The male’s hand came up to my forehead. He pushed back my hair and ran a fingertip down my cheek, leaving a warm trail. He brought that finger to his nose, then into his mouth. His dark eyes closed slowly, as if he savored the taste. When he looked at me again, he shook his head and said, That’s not rogue blood.

I reached up to find a tender lump at my hairline. I didn’t even feel it. I hadn’t felt the pain on my hip from my fall, either, but it was also making itself known.

I should’ve been here, he said. I should’ve been here. I’m so sorry.

How could you know? They came out of nowhere. They hid. They—

So you’re just going to fucking ignore me now? Decker butted in.

Not hardly.

Deck’s irritation felt like fire ants on my skin.

Say nothing.

Well, are you going to answer me or not?

Not. I’m dead to you, brother. You said so yourself.

I took a breath and went on. They destroyed the radios—

And what the fuck is that all over your back? Decker demanded again.

I didn’t need to look to know Deck was pointing in my direction.

Say nothing.

I refused to let him draw me into an argument. Never again.

The dark-haired male gave my brother a death glare, then stepped past me. Your sister is injured. She also has rogue blood on her.

How did the relationship with my twin become so fractured that he’s more concerned over a haircut and ink?

The protective male wasn’t my blood or even a member of my pack, but I felt the strangest spark of soul-deep connection with him.

Would he see my tattoo? This male? Would he care?

I shivered at the thought he might like it.

Put some damn clothes on, Des, Deck snapped.

You have no right talkin’ to her like—

I have every right. She’s my sister, not yours! Decker shouted.

The male leaned down and snatched something off the ground. The weight of his denim jacket landed on my shoulders. The scent of a sun-warmed pine forest engulfed me. I wanted to breathe him in and, for a moment, forget about all my pack-mates lying cold and dead.

What is your problem, Decker? the male asked. Can’t you see—

So you did it, huh? My brother snorted in disgust. I told you absolutely not. I told you I would fucking disown you if you put ink on your body. That thing makes you look like a whore. What the hell were you—

Deck’s words cut off. I whipped around in time to see his eyes go wide just before the dark-haired male’s fist connected with his jaw. Deck’s feet left the ground, and his body landed over a yard away, creating a soft sloughing sound as he sank deep into the snow.

Don’t get up, or I swear I’ll kick your sorry, sister-insulting ass. The threat in the male’s voice was a promise.

I had the urge to hold up my hand for a high-five, but the sadness inside me crushed the impulse. We didn’t have time for a brawl. I needed to get to the twins.

Decker propped himself up on his elbows and glared, first at me, then at the male standing between us.

She’s my sister, and I can—

The male lunged, fisted Decker’s jacket in both hands, and shook him hard. Decker grabbed onto the male’s wrists and held on, his fangs showing as he grinned.

You gonna kick my ass, Seff?

Seff? Seff.

I whispered his name, Seff. And it felt...perfect.

I stepped beside him. His eyes reflected black anger, as though he wanted to beat my brother senseless. The feral sounds coming from Seff’s mouth were deep guttural snarls that seemed to thrill my wolf half.

It felt strange to have someone fight for my honor. Strange and wonderful.

Hey, champ, look at me. I touched his thick, straining forearm with one hand and pressed my other hand on his chest. His pounding heart sent a heavy pulse throughout my body. A rush of heat flowed through me as if the blood flowing through his veins boiled. When his eyes found mine, the crazed anger I’d seen there faded