Lost Boy: Red Sky, Texas, #4

By Beau Brown

Omega Jesse has a heartbreaking secret. Something so dark and painful, two years ago it made him run from his best friend, turned lover, Baker. But being away from Baker was too painful, and now he's back, and asking for forgiveness.

Alpha Baker has worked on The Tumbleweed Ranch much of his life. He was crushed when Jesse left and froze him out of his life completely. He's done his best to move on, but no one touches his heart the way Jesse did.

When Jesse returns, Baker tries to ignore him. He can't, and won't, forgive Jesse for betraying his love all those years ago. But ignoring someone who you thought was your soulmate is easier said than done.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Beau Brown
• Release date: May 22, 2020
• ISBN: 9798201991388

Book preview

Chapter One

Baker

The sound of Sawyer and Tex’s baby crying drifted across the yard from the main house. It was strange having a kid around on this dusty old ranch, but kind of nice too. Sawyer and Tex took the baby on long walks in the evening, and I had to admit, I had a twinge of envy at the sight of them together.

When Sawyer had first returned, after inheriting the ranch from Joe, I’d been attracted to him. I’d even asked him out on a date right away. But then it had become obvious the connection he had with Tex was way beyond anything I’d ever have with him. They belonged together. They were soulmates. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other.

Jesse walked out of the barn carrying a saddle. My teeth clenched at the sight of my ex-lover and friend. There had been a time when I’d thought maybe Jesse was my soulmate. I’d been wrong. Dead wrong. I could barely look at him now without wanting to growl. I didn’t want Jesse here, but the ranch needed experienced employees, so I just had to suck it up.

Jesse looked up at that moment and our eyes met. He gave a tentative smile, and I scowled. He kept trying to be my friend again, but that wasn’t going to happen. We’d been close in the past, since we were kids really. But then he’d just taken off without any warning to work on a ranch in Dallas. He hadn’t kept in touch at all, and that had hurt bad. We’d been moving toward something serious with each other, or at least, I’d thought we were. We’d slept together a few times, and then BAM, he was gone.

Jesse glanced away and threw the saddle onto the back of the brown gelding next to him. His movements were stiff, as if he knew I was watching him. I ran my gaze down his lanky body, remembering his scent and taste as if it were yesterday. But it was best not to think about him as anything other than a co-worker. He meant no more to me than George or Rob. We just worked together. He wasn’t my friend. He wasn’t my lover. He was nothing to me.

Just a shadow from the past.

Tex came out of the house and sauntered toward me, looking tired. He smiled when he neared, and said, Basen’s Feed and Supply just called. Their truck broke down. We’ll need to go into town to pick up the barbed wire.

That’s the second time this month.

I know. He sighed. Do you mind going? Sawyer has a doctor’s appointment, and I kind of want to go with him.

I don’t mind. I smiled.

He grimaced. You’ll need to take Jesse. The other guys are tied up with the calves this morning.

My smile faded. I can do it alone. I don’t need his help.

Tex frowned. Baker, come on. You can’t load all that wire by yourself.

Of course I can. I shoved my hands in my pockets, and gave a surly glance toward Jesse. He’d mounted the gelding, and looked like he was about ready to take off.

Tex gave a piercing whistle, and Jesse shot a curious glance toward us. Jesse, hold up, Tex called out. I want you to run into town with Baker.

Jesse looked about as thrilled at the news as I was.

Tex, I grumbled. I said I don’t need his help.

Bullshit, Tex rasped. It’s a two-man job, and you know it.

Yeah, and any other man but Jesse would be good.

Clenching my teeth, I shrugged. Whatever, boss. There was no point in fighting Tex. He was as stubborn as me.

Jesse approached on the horse, looking uneasy. I thought you wanted me to help with the calves.

Change of plans, Tex said.

Jesse shot me a wary glance, but said, Whatever you say, boss.

I seriously don’t need help. Jesse should stay here, I said stiffly.

Jesus, you’d think I had an infectious disease the way you try and avoid me. Jesse scowled at me.

I’m not avoiding you. I just don’t need your help.

Tex laughed gruffly. Guys, don’t you think this cold war has gone on long enough?

He’s the one with the problem, grumbled Jesse.

I don’t have a problem.

Jesse raised his brows. Right. You just don’t ever want me around.

Tex scowled. You two need to figure out how to get along better. You’re making everyone uncomfortable.

My face warmed. We get along just fine.

Chuffing, Tex shook his head. I’ve seen rattlesnakes and horses that had a friendlier relationship.

Jesse shrugged. I can’t control how Baker acts.

I’m saying work this shit out. Tex pulled his dark brows together. I don’t want to have to walk on egg shells with you two. If I need you to run into town together, I don’t want to hear fifty reasons why you’d rather not.

I’m fine working with Baker. Jesse’s blue stare held frustration. He has the problem.

I wasn’t going to let him put the bullseye on my back. I stuffed down my anger, and met Tex’s gaze, forcing a smile. Message received, boss.

Good. Tex pulled his hat down tighter. Now I have to go get Sawyer. Today they’re doing the first ultrasound on the new baby.

That’s great. I smiled, feeling like my face was going to crack. I could feel Jesse’s resentful gaze on me. I know Sawyer’s over the moon happy.

Yeah. Tex smiled. Me too.

I’ll just unsaddle Morningstar, and meet you at the truck? Jesse addressed me.

Can’t wait, I said.

I’m sure. Jesse turned and led the horse toward the barn, mumbling under his breath.

Tex gave me a stern look. I’m serious, Baker. You need to learn how to get along with Jesse. You said you were okay with rehiring him. You don’t get to just make his life hell now.

I ain’t making his life hell, I grumbled.

He’s not going anywhere. Find a way to fix what’s broken.

Easier said than done.

He sighed. I know. But you don’t have any choice.

Fine.

Impatience fluttered through his eyes. You can do this, Baker. I have faith in your ability to act like a grown up.

I held his gaze, and then looked away. Good luck at the doctor’s office.

Thanks. Tex moved toward the house, and I headed to the truck.

I was irritated that Tex was pushing me and Jesse together. I knew he was right about not wanting to tip toe around Jesse and I, but I hadn’t wanted Jesse to come back to work here. I’d only agreed to rehiring him because the ranch was more important to me than my hurt feelings. Of course, now I regretted that decision. Things would be much better without him here.

Jesse joined me at the truck, and we headed toward town. I hated that I was still so aware of him physically. His familiar cologne still brought back memories of when we’d been close in the past. I just wanted to ignore him and pretend he didn’t exist, but that didn’t seem possible. Not when my feelings were still so raw.

We rode in tense silence for a while, then he cleared his throat. Look, Tex is right. We need to get along better, he said.

I pressed my lips tight. I’m doing the best I can.

It’s obviously not good enough. Tex said the others are uncomfortable around us. I don’t like that. I’m trying hard to get along with you, Baker. But you’re not making it easy on me.

And we both know how you prefer easy.

What does that mean?

I shrugged. Staying here and working shit out was hard, so instead you ran. Took off for Dallas and never looked back.

Obviously I looked back, or I wouldn’t have returned.

I grunted. It doesn’t matter.

Yeah, it does. If it didn’t, you’d treat me as nice as everyone else. But you don’t. You treat me like I have no business being here, and that’s bullshit.

You left for greener pastures. You should have stayed there.

He exhaled and twisted toward me. Jesus you’re an unforgiving asshole.

Oh, well.

I missed you, Baker. You’re the main reason I came back here.

I chuffed, feeling anger rise. Fuck off, Jesse. I don’t need your lies.

I ain’t lying.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, feeling like I could wrench it free if I wasn’t careful. We aren’t a thing anymore. Just do your best to stay out of my way, and I’ll do the same.

That won’t work. We’re on the same ranch. You heard Tex. We have to work together as a team. We don’t have the luxury of pretending we aren’t both here.

Don’t lecture me.

I’m not. He sounded exasperated. I’m trying to get through to you.

Jesse, we’re never going to be more than what we are right now. I don’t like you anymore. Get it? You’re just a burr under my saddle. I hope you get sick of me and leave. That’s the only thing I’m looking forward to.

He narrowed his eyes. Well then you’re out of luck. I’m not leaving. You can’t freeze me out.

Then shut up about it. If you stay, this is what our relationship is going to be.

Jesus, what a stubborn old mule. He shook his head, and turned to face the window. You’d think I tried to shoot you, the way you’re acting.

No. He hadn’t tried to shoot me. He’d done worse. He’d crushed my heart. He’d let me hope for more, and then bailed on me with no explanation. Not a fucking word from him in years. He’d pushed for more than just friendship, and then when things had turned romantic, he’d bolted. I wasn’t going to let him close again. No way. It had taken a long time to get over him, and the hurt he’d caused. I wasn’t about to start from scratch. Who knew when the urge to run would hit him again?

Look, he said quietly. I know I made a horrible mistake. I’m trying to make it right.

I gritted my teeth, and focused on the road. I refused to let him sweet talk his way back into my life. He’d burned that bridge.

You have nothing to say? he asked, sounding frustrated.

Nope. I made an effort to sound disinterested. While I wasn’t able to forgive him, Tex was right. I had to learn to keep my hurt and anger in check. Being cold to him was the best way to control my emotions.

When we reached the supply store, Jesse got out first, stomping into the building. I shook my head, and followed more slowly. Inside, the owner, Will Basen greeted me.

Hey, Baker. Sorry about the truck. He shook my hand.

No problem. I could see Jesse out back, talking to Will’s guys. One dark haired alpha put his arm around Jesse’s shoulders, and I had to squelch the jealousy that spiked through me. Jesse wasn’t mine. Any alpha that wanted him could have him. I needed to remember that. Jesse was just an omega I used to know.

I’m going shopping for a new truck Saturday. I can’t keep letting my customers down, Will said.

I focused on Will, and pushed all thoughts of Jesse out of my head. We understand. I can’t speak for all your customers, but we know shit happens.

Appreciate your patience. Will nodded. My guys have your stuff ready out back.

Sounds good. I left him and joined Jesse outside.

Up close, I could see the alpha who’d had his arm around Jesse was younger than me. I guessed he was in his early twenties, closer to Jesse’s age. As I neared, he stuck out his hand, and I forced myself to shake it.

I’m Greg. He smiled, his brown eyes assessing.

Baker. I hoped my smile wasn’t as fake as it felt. While I didn’t want to be territorial about Jesse, it was hard. Since we’d been so close before, those old possessive instincts didn’t just disappear magically. I really hoped that the more we were around each other as just co-workers, that they would fade.

I knew Jesse in high school, Greg said, giving Jesse a conspiratorial smile.

Is that right? I didn’t really care. I just wanted to get the fencing, and return to the ranch where I could go back to ignoring Jesse.

Yep. Greg flicked his dark gaze to mine. I remember you too.

I studied him, but didn’t recognize him. Sorry. I don’t remember you.

No. You were a couple years ahead of me and Jesse. We ran in different crowds. He laughed. You were one of the cool kids.

Not sure that’s true. I’d been accepted in high school, and most kids liked me. But to imply I’d been cool was a stretch.

Well, cooler than me. Greg grinned. I smoked pot during lunch, and basically faked my way through high school. He elbowed Jesse. Remember those lunches?

Jesse looked uncomfortable. I really only did that my freshman year. Then I started taking school more seriously.

The last thing I wanted to do was take a trip down memory lane. I didn’t care what Greg or Jesse were to each other. Neither of them mattered in my life, and I wanted to keep it that way. It was essential I kept it that way.

How about we load up the wire? I said, turning away from them.

Greg gave a funny laugh, but started loading the truck with the other guys. I was glad him and Jesse had stopped reminiscing about the past in front of me. Maybe they’d hook up now that they’d reconnected. Maybe they’d fall madly in love, and Jesse would bail on Greg too. Who knew? I didn’t care. Jesse could screw who he wanted. Jesse could destroy who he wanted.

He was no longer my concern.

Chapter Two

Jesse

The last thing I’d needed was to run into Greg Hardy. I could see immediately that Baker shut down even more. I was frustrated as hell that he wouldn’t just forgive me for fucking up years ago. I wanted to explain myself, tell him what exactly had been going on with me. But he was like ice. He would barely speak to me.

As we loaded the truck, my mind raced with thoughts of how to get through to Baker. I wanted to be completely vulnerable with Baker, and tell him why I’d screwed up. That was probably the only way he’d ever forgive me. But as bitter toward me as he was, did I dare tell him the truth about why I’d run? He thought I’d just gotten scared, but it was so much worse.

My reasons for bolting were twisted up in shit about my dad’s death, and family secrets. As close as I’d been to Baker, I hadn’t let him see how bad my home life had been. I’d been ashamed to admit what a bastard my dad had been. It was too embarrassing. It was like if I said out loud all the things my dad had done to me, then it was real. Then I’d officially be damaged goods. That was my biggest fear, that if Baker knew the truth about me, he’d reject me.

So I rejected him instead.

Hey, snap out of it. Baker’s gruff voice cut through my thoughts.

I realized suddenly I’d been so deep in my memories; I’d stopped loading the truck. I shook myself. Oh, sorry.

He frowned. What’s with you?

I avoided his gaze. Nothing.

He shook his head, and we went back to work. He’d glance at me now and then, but I ignored him. Once we had the truck filled, Baker went inside and paid. I got in the passenger seat and waited, feeling tired and depressed. I didn’t like thinking about my past. It always brought me down, and then I had to fight my way back into the light.

I jumped when Greg tapped on the window next to my head. He made a rolling down motion, and I lowered the window.

You taking off? he asked.

Yep. Have to unload this stuff at the ranch. Greg was a good guy. He was a quality alpha, and very attractive. But my heart was all wrapped up with Baker. Two years away hadn’t dulled my need for him. I couldn’t imagine trying to start something with Greg or any other alpha. Not until I knew for sure there was never going to be a future with Baker. I still held out hope that eventually I’d break through his walls. I had to.

It was great running into you again. Greg’s eyes were warm.

It was good seeing you too.

He bit his bottom lip. Would you want to do something sometime?

Do something? I repeated, as if I’d never been asked out on a date before.

He laughed. Sure. Why not? I promise I’m not a pot head anymore.

I laughed. I wasn’t worried about that.

I wouldn’t blame you if you were. His gaze flickered. I’ve always hoped maybe I’d run into you again.

Yeah?

Yep. He grinned. What do you say we go out and grab some beers Friday? The Golden Spoon has happy hour every Friday.

I hesitated. My reason for coming back to Red Sky was to patch things up with Baker. So far that had been a bust. But I still hoped he’d soften. However, if I started dating other alphas, that could potentially drive a bigger wedge between us. I didn’t want to lead Greg on. I had no interest in sleeping with him if there was even a hint of a chance I could reconcile with Baker. Was Greg just being friendly, or did he want to sleep with me?

Maybe Greg saw something in my expression because he said softly. Just some drinks and a few laughs. I promise not to try and get you into bed.

My face warmed as he seemed to read my thoughts. I wasn’t worried about that, I lied.

He smirked. Right.

Why do you want to go out with me?

He grimaced, as if surprised at the