Clueless & Headstrong: Aunt Lynette Story

By Eyvonne Black

Clueless & Headstrong is a fictional historical romance set
in the Caribbean Islands of Jamaica, and the United States
Santa Barbara, Calif.
Aunt Lynette Story is about a teenage girl who is adamant
about fulfilling her childhood dreams of marrying her first
crush. It encapsulates the dominant catholic principles and
the traditions of a Jamaican Chinese family.
Two women years apart, together find redemption and
healing from their similar childhood experiences.
The novella is packed with suspense, loss, guilt, joy,
emptiness, healing, frustration, tears, tragedy, surprises,
and reflections.
The message is to honour the past, live in the present, and
look forward to the future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Jun 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781664117617

Book preview

PROLOGUE

Clueless and Headstrong uncovers the reality that holding on to childhood fantasies can be an irrational decision, especially when it involves personal relationships.

Aunt Lynette’s story is about a teenage girl who allowed her childhood sweetheart memories and promises to hold her captive emotionally.

For decades, she refused to give up her quest to fulfil her dream. Her drive was so intense that even though she was a professional Psychotherapist, it did not deter her from ruining her chances of having a sincere, loving, intimate relationship and the mental freedom to move on.

Aunt Lynette bounces back by experiencing unprovoked occurrences, challenges, and tragedy. And recognizing her emotionally-clueless and headstrong reluctance to let go.

She redeems and heals herself and the woman who has travelled down a similar path by telling her story.

CHAPTER 1

Introductions

My mind is in a downward spiral, battling shame and regret. How do I move on from this short-lived reality? Avoidance and guilt have overwhelmed me. I’m ready to give up and return home. But I can’t.

It’s only been two years. How can I justify my actions? Justify, you say? For the past two weeks, your pillowcases have been drenched, and the white of your eyes is permanently pink. Your hair begs to be coloured, and your athletic physique has now gained 30 pounds. The mirror projects a reflection of someone you don’t know. ‘Where have you heard don’t expect, wait and be patient?’ But patience has never gained your confidence, and expectation is your judge that overrules every excuse.

The voices in Alissa’s head were torturous, confusing, and continuous. How could she stop them?

Alissa steps out of herself and considers, ‘I am responsible to the woman who orchestrated my dream into reality, and she needs to know it’s over.’

Her thoughts now steady and conscious ‘I have to break free from this overwhelming state of guilt and failure. The choice to share is inevitable and will be quick and seamless.’

This was Alissa’s solution to stop the mental torture.

*       *       *

But this isn’t Alissa’s story; it is Aunt Lynette’s story.

*       *       *

It was November 2012, and Aunt Lynette had just returned home from Bacchiglione Veneto, Northern Italy, from putting a plaque on the monument built in honour of her late husband Ling Chun a.k.a. Chan.

No sooner had she arrived, Clarissa approached. How was your trip, Miss Lynette?

His spirit lives on. Are there any messages?

Yes, yes! Miss Alissa has been calling here for the past two weeks.

I wonder what it is. Has Lee visited?

Yes, but not stayed. As I noticed, he hasn’t been eating the breakfast or lunches I prepare.

Just then they heard the familiar tinkling sound.

It’s Miss Alissa, Clarissa quietly announced.

Aunt Lynette could not tell how long she was on the phone; all she knew was the sun had disappeared in the distance, and she had moved without consciousness from the living room to the dining area and onto the porch.

*       *       *

Aunt Lynette let out a long sigh and made odd noises in her throat; she then said quietly, ‘But it’s only been two years?’

She sipped the last drop of tea and locked her eyes on the cup her index finger made into a carousel.

Thoughts of the reception she held for Alissa and her favourite nephew Lee brought back a playful grin; stroking her throat, she thought, ‘This must be a sign.’ She knew she needed a couple of days to recover from the memorial and get into a good mental state to share her story for the first time. She needed time to balance her loss with healing and felt they both might benefit.

Aunt Lynette reflected on Alissa’s shared self-disclosure and realised how significantly similar their childhood experiences were. She anxiously muttered to herself, ‘Is this fate?’

She had waited a long time for this opportunity, and the thought of sharing triggered bitter-sweet memories of her past. Her eyes widened with very few blinks at the idea that the time had come.

She now had a reason to possibly save Alissa from the clueless and headstrong mentality she allowed to control and cripple her emotionally.

*       *       *

Alissa replaced the handset and quietly said, ‘Wednesday, that’s five days away.’

Rubbing the back of her neck from the tension that had built up, she stood still and said in a questioning tone, ‘your experience is not unique?’ ‘What was she implying?’

Aunt Lynette’s response was unexpected and shocking, and Alissa could not understand. She thought, ‘Aunt Lynette invested so much time, effort, and finances into my dream that I expected an explosion or at least a fit of anger.’

*       *       *

Lynette Chun was a short, five-foot-four, pale-faced, slim Chinese-Jamaican woman. Although she was now a septuagenarian the only signs of aging were her laugh lines that sat between her polite grin and mini-lines by her small eyes that only appeared when she smiled. Her glistening white hair swept across her ears in a chignon bun giving her an elegant look rather than an aged appearance.

She was known to the family as the listener, as she seemed to have time for anyone who needed to talk. As early as five years, with little understanding of adult issues, she would sit outside her parents’ door and wait while her father argued with a raised voice and pity her mother, finding it difficult to articulate. When her father left, she would go in to comfort her mother and repeat, ‘Talk Mummy talk,’ making sure her father’s frequent drunken outrages did not silence her mother. Aunt Lynette was kind and caring and always had time for family matters.

*       *       *

Alissa was a woman in her early 40s, British-born with Mulatto-Jamaican heritage. Her complexion was chocolate brown, coordinated with her coffee-coloured eyes and coloured, treated brown hair. She was five-foot-six with a slim athletic body. She spoke eloquently and with authority that sometimes made her appear unapproachable.

She had a resilient character that stemmed from a dominant single parent, her father, and she was passionate about eating healthy meals and taking care of her physical health. She believed living in your truth is not optional.

*       *       *

CHAPTER 2

The Journey to Milestone Mansion

Five days flew by quickly, and it wasn’t long before Alissa was chauffeured to Milestone Mansion, where Aunt Lynette resided.

Lost in Thought

Alissa took advantage of her spacious cabin surroundings. She clicked her feet into a relaxing stretch and felt the soft, warm leather seats cradle her body.

The sounds of soft music began to flow from the door panels, and with the warm conditioned air, she felt comforted but for the pounding headache that returned at her temples and the pain that ripped through her stomach. She was reminded of her chat with Aunt Lynette a few days before, reflecting on the emotionally-exhausting one-way conversation. She closed her eyes, stretched out, and forced herself into a semi-unconscious state; the pain drifted; at peace, she fell asleep.

An abrupt stop awakened Alissa. Apologies, Miss English, the chauffeur’s nickname for her stupid cat! he blared.

Alissa woke up with questioning and frightening thoughts. Sitting straight and rubbing the back of her neck, she then jammed into a self-hugging position. ‘What have I done? What am I thinking? Where am I going? Will I ever recover from this?’

She forced herself to think that her travel to Aunt Lynette was nothing more than a need for closure. But her mind was wavering, tormented by internal voices. ‘You’ve blown it, girl, don’t expect his aunt to forgive you. You fool, why didn’t you suck it up? You impatient idiot, you can’t turn back now. In time, he would have made you happy.’ The wet burning sensation flooded her eyes then suddenly she sat up and rapidly wiped her eyes.

‘Happiness?’ she thought. ‘No one can make me happy, no place, person, or thing, the joy of living comes from within me,’ she remembered the words of Genevieve Behrend.

Feeling confident with a release of all bodily tension, she laid down in a foetal position. With the warm tinted windows and the continued soft music, she soon returned to a peaceful state of mind.

It wasn’t long before she felt the limousine come to a permanent halt and the automatic transparent divide came down. One stop to Mrs. Chun, Mrs. Wong the chauffeur declared.

Alissa gave a crisp nod and a sheepish grin. The beautiful setting of the sun in the distance gave her a feeling of weightlessness. This visit, she thought, was going to be a memorable one as she reminisced on the pleasant memories from her last visit.

007_a_img.png

Milestone Mansions

CHAPTER 3

Memories Like Yesterday

Aunt Lynette, recognising the slam of the limo booth, came carefully but briskly down the grand staircase to the foyer. Clarissa, Clarissa?

Yes, Miss Lynette, I heard it too. Clarissa approached the enormous iron doors swiftly and pushed the buzzer to open. The chauffeur, placed the luggage at the top steps, tilted his cap, and left.

Aunt Lynette held her composure behind Clarissa, but as their eyes met, she greeted Alissa with a wide grin and a quick embrace.

Dinnertime at Milestone Mansion was always 7:30 p.m. sharp, and Clarissa had already laid the table, waiting for Alissa’s arrival. Clarissa took the small luggage and headed towards the grand staircase to the guest rooms.

*       *       *

Clarissa

Clarissa had been Aunt Lynette’s single house helper since 1985. She had olive skin with spine-length dark brown hair that was hardly seen, as she consistently wore it rolled up under a hairnet with a white mob cap. Clarissa was five-foot-four and extremely shy. She was the niece of the previous house helper Maria. Clarissa was Mexican, and she had twin boys who her mother took care of when she was working.

When Clarissa came to Santa Barbara, she knew little English language, and Aunt Lynette allowed her to take an English course, and then paid for her to go to culinary classes and supported her with driving lessons and