Quantum Nipples

By Christen E

This book came about from my idiosyncratic habit of sending my friends peculiar, obscure, ridiculous, amusing and surreal statements or sentences that occurred to me in inspired moments of silliness. I have an enormous streak of absolute silliness that I allow to playfully manifest itself in all manner of forms. These may be stories, jokes, statements or sketches.
These often nonsensical statements and wordplays in turn inspired my friend and illustrator Katharina Klasen to produce some fascinating drawings. In particular, she was taken by the statement:

Sometimes, the famous fish of Bolinga, which nobody has ever heard of, has a galactic appetite for Baluga tadpoles...

Another surreal statement that inspired an amazing drawing was about the bears and the beers:

There were 3 bears and 3 beers. The bears looked at the beers and the beers looked at the bears. After a while, the beers drank the bears. The End.

Together, these contortions and adventures in absurdity have resulted in a book of statements, drawings and finally, stories. The stories came later as we felt the statements needed the support of some kind of explanation and development. These crazy stories are now in some ways an extension of my earlier book Selling Holes (also on Amazon Kindle), which sought to break literary rules, satirize everything and boggle the mind. It is also the funniest book I have ever written.
What follows is a list of 50 surreal and obscure statements that I describe as adventures in absurdity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christen E
• Release date: Mar 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005219635

Christen E

I was the 14th son of a one-parent family of shepherds, largely supported by the pocketed springs of a mattress loved by geckos all over the Antarctic wilds of Borneo.

Book preview

QUANTUM NIPPLES

By Christen E

~~~

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2022 by Christen E. All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword

Adventures in Absurdity

The Famous Fish of Bolinga

The Beers and Bears

The Invasion

Saturn Fried Chicken

The Tortoise and the Cauliflower

John The Hare

The Non-Existent Gingerbread Wallaby

Cramp Again

The Brain Café

The Bearded Prawns

Sandy and the Panda

Gravity Depressed

The Teacup Dance

How the Earth Became a Pizza

Marrying a Tree

Acknowledgements

FOREWORD

This book came about from my idiosyncratic habit of sending my friends peculiar, obscure, ridiculous, amusing and surreal statements or sentences that occurred to me in inspired moments of silliness. I have an enormous streak of absolute silliness that I allow to playfully manifest itself in all manner of forms. These may be stories, jokes, statements or sketches.

These often nonsensical statements and wordplays in turn inspired my friend and illustrator Katharina Klasen to produce some fascinating drawings. In particular, she was taken by the statement:

Sometimes, the famous fish of Bolinga, which nobody has ever heard of, has a galactic appetite for Baluga tadpoles…

Another surreal statement that inspired an amazing drawing was about the bears and the beers:

There were 3 bears and 3 beers. The bears looked at the beers and the beers looked at the bears. After a while, the beers drank the bears. The End.

Together, these contortions and adventures in absurdity have resulted in a book of statements, drawings and finally, stories. The stories came later as we felt the statements needed the support of some kind of explanation and development. These crazy stories are now in some ways an extension of my earlier book Selling Holes (also on Amazon Kindle), which sought to break literary rules, satirize everything and boggle the mind. It is also the funniest book I have ever written.

What follows is a list of 50 surreal and obscure statements that I describe as adventures in absurdity.

Christen E - Berlin 2021

ADVENTURES IN ABSURDITY

50 absurd statements

1. Sometimes, the famous fish of Bolinga, which nobody