Finally, Doing Me!

By Evelyn C. Fortson

"Finally Doing Me!" is the story of four girlfriends of a certain age, who live quite different lives but have managed to stay connected for forty years. The ladies get together annually for a girl's trip, and it is on one of those trips that they learn of each other's desires to pursue their own happiness to, Finally Doing Me!


Effie is married to her husband Monroe, who has been unfaithful more years than he has been faithful, but that is not why Effie wants to live her life without her husband. Effie has come to the realization that time to, "Do, me." Is running out. After years of ignoring the indiscretions and living in a world where she manufactured happiness for everyone else, Effie is now seeking happiness for herself. Before Effie can tell Monroe that their marriage is over, an unexpected illness may not allow Effie to tell anyone that she is, "Finally Doing, Me!"

Mrs. Georgia Bennett is married to a man that provided her money, a big house, vacations, jewelry…everything that she never had as a single mother of two young boys. For years, the prestige of being Mrs. Georgia Bennet concealed the fact that her husband Lawrence Bennett had no intention of being a father to her sons or help them to become men. Years of benign neglect of her son's emotional needs results in Georgia's desperate quest to have a real connection with her adult sons and their families. Georgia's desire to connect with her sons, has her declaring that she is, "Finally Doing, Me!"

Leah is happily married to her high school sweetheart. After years of working hard, raising their daughter, and buying a home, Leah is finally retired, but Big Joe will not retire until Leah makes a necessary change. The plans Leah has for her, and Big Joe's retirement years may be spoiled by her daughter Jemila. Leah must risk alienating her relationship with her daughter if she wants to be able to say, "Finally Doing Me!"

Phoebe has long given up on living life, she is merely existing. After years of drug addiction, and the loss of her child, mother, and Tyrone she is afraid to move forward. After Phoebe has overcome drug addiction all she wants from life is banality. Phoebe finds comfort in the sameness of each new day and may have lived the rest of life in that condition if she had not had a chance encounter with someone that looked like her Tyrone. Phoebe's boring little life is forever changed, forcing her to finally forgive herself and live life, so she too can say, "Finally Doing Me!"

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781667821399

Book preview

Chapter 1

EFFIE

The first thought that crosses Effie’s mind this morning is that she only has to endure today. Tomorrow she leaves for her girls’ trip. Effie gets out of bed in the guest room, eager to get through the day. Since Effie’s retirement, she has slept in the guest room during the week, not wishing to disturb Monroe’s sleep by watching TV half the night.

This was the perfect excuse for not sleeping in the same bed with her husband now. Effie is angry with herself for not leaving the man that she knows cheated on her throughout most of their marriage. Effie’s leaving now will have to be explained in such a way that her son will understand. The façade of her happy marriage will have to be dismantled carefully, because she does not want her son to think poorly of his father.

Effie does not want her son to feel guilty for her unhappiness because Effie did what women of her era did: stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. If she was being honest, she not only stayed for her son to have a father, but she also stayed because it was easier. For the past five years, this decision has become extremely hard. Effie can feel the bitterness flowing throughout her soul, making her lash out verbally more and more at her husband. Sometimes just looking at him lying on the bed watching TV irks her to the point that she has to leave the room.

The future that she thought she would have with Monroe in their retirement years was only a fantasy of hers. Monroe never showed any willingness to make her dreams come true. What Effie wants now is time to ponder what she wants to do with the rest of her life. She is emotionally tired of putting on the mask of having a happy marriage.

Monroe has already gone to work, leaving Effie to enjoy her solitude. She is in the living room watching the sunrise and rehearsing how she is going to tell Monroe that she is leaving. The burnt-orange sky replaces the night sky. The sun gives Effie hope that she is making the right decision.

Now, it is late afternoon and Effie is sitting on the floor of the family room surrounded by a pile of books, trying to select which one she will take with her. Effie has narrowed the pile to three books. One tells of the great migration of African American people from the South to Northern Cities. She was a child when her parents left the South for Los Angeles. Although she was too young to remember that trip, she feels like it is a real memory because of how many times her parents told the story. Though her parents have been deceased for years, she still misses them.

Losing them is even more painful because when her mother died, she also lost her brothers’ and sister’s presence in her life. They are strangers to her now. Once a close-knit family that shared holidays together, they are now people that do not invite her into their lives. Those former years feels like something that she observed, perhaps saw on TV, because it no longer feels real. Effie longs for the good old days, which were good because her parents kept her, and her siblings insulated from the evils of this world.

Effie never questioned whether, or not her parents loved her, even though it was not a word spoken often in her childhood. Her parents expressed their love by providing for them, by working any job no matter how demeaning so that their kids would have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and clothes on their backs. Her mother cleaned other people’s houses, and her father worked two jobs for many years.

Effie knows that she and her siblings are floundering, like sheep without a shepherd. She desperately longs to restore what they once had. That is what she is feeling when she gets her cell phone and calls her brother Busta first, telling him to hold on while she calls the others.

Every few months, when the spirit moves her, she calls her siblings hoping to forge that connection they had as kids, when their parents were alive. After each call, she hangs up disappointed and vows to herself to stop begging them to love her again.

As a kid, Effie’s two older brothers ran the streets in their neighborhood but did not allow their sisters to. She smiles to herself as she remembers the time a group of girls tried to jump her in junior high school. The crowd had circled around them, earrings had been removed when a boy pushed his way through the crowd and asked his sister if she had lost her damn mind. Didn’t she know Effie was Darnell and Busta’s sister?

Back in the day, everybody in the neighbor knew the Brown Family because of her brothers’ reputations and the fact that her household included a father. When Effie’s father died, they held on to each other tighter and made sure their mother was okay, but after their mother’s death, their connections began to unravel like an old knit sweater.

The conversations last maybe five minutes. After everyone is connected, she is the only one running off at the mouth. The tension is taut; everyone waiting to see if Dot is receptive. Effie wished that Dot wouldn’t answer the phone if she did not want to be bothered. No, not Dot. Dot loved exerting control over them. If Dot was into it, the phone call was a success with each of them vowing to call more often.

If Dot was in a bitchy mood, which apparently, she is today, the call turned into a monologue with Effie being the lone actor.

Oh well, Effie thinks as she hangs up. She gets up from the floor with the book she is taking on her trip and stuff the pain she is feeling back down in her soul where all the things she has lost are kept. It is not really a girl’s trip; that ship sailed 20 years ago. This is more of a trip with her girlfriends, the difference being no wild night partying, drinking, or relying on the kindness of strangers. The girls are all in their sixties and Effie is the youngest at the tender age of sixty-two.

Effie is still in the closet pulling out outfits for the trip when Monroe walks into the bedroom calling her name.

I’m in the closet! shouts Effie. Did you want something?

No, I didn’t see you in the front of the house, but I saw your car in the driveway.

I’m still packing for the trip. Effie says walking into the bedroom.

Effie sees Monroe lying on the bed and is immediately ticked off. Effie knows that Monroe will lie on the bed watching TV until Effie tells him that dinner is ready.

I need to finish packing, says Effie as she leaves Monroe lying on the bed and goes back into the walk-in closet. Effie wipes the tears from her eyes because she does not want to be irritated every time Monroe comes home. Effie takes a few deep breaths and continues to pick out clothes she might take for the trip. Dang, I need to straighten this mess up, she thinks, knowing full well she will not be cleaning up her closet anytime soon.

Who’s all going on this trip, anyway? yells Monroe over the sound of the show he is watching.

All of us: Georgia, Leah and even Phoebe, she yells back.

Why even Phoebe?

Effie walks back into the bedroom and looks pointedly at Monroe with her hands on her hips. He gets the point and lowers the volume on the TV.

Because it’s been a minute since Phoebe has participated in any group outings. Lately, she has only been doing things with Georgia. Every time we plan something, Phoebe cancels.

Um hmmm, says Monroe, looking at the TV, no longer interested.

Effie walks back into the closet, picking out clothes and shoes. After she is satisfied with her choices, Effie looks through her jewelry box on the bathroom vanity and the jewelry rack in the corner of the closet. She decides to wear the diamond studs that she wears most days and to pack her big rose gold hoops and three big necklaces. Chunky jewelry is a trademark of hers and she loves to wear either chunky or layered necklaces.

After packing, she goes into the kitchen to start dinner: baked chicken wings, mashed potatoes, and string beans. Monroe and Effie love their chicken wings, especially since they came up with the perfect seasonings: Lawry Season Salt, lemon pepper, onion, and garlic power. Monroe usually seasoned his chicken wings with Lawry Season Salt, black pepper, onion, and garlic powder, on the rare occasions that he cooks. Effie usually seasoned her wings with Lawry Season Salt and lemon pepper.

One day, Monroe seasoned his wings with his usual combination, except they did not have any black pepper, so he used lemon pepper instead; it was the best chicken wings he had ever made. Monroe has been claiming he was the creative genius behind the seasoning, but he would not have known what lemon pepper was if it was not for Effie. This was the debate they were having as they sit down to dinner in the kitchen.

That was good, Baby, says Monroe, sucking his teeth.

Monroe is still sucking his teeth when Effie asks if he is done. He nods in the affirmative. Effie picks up his plate and disposes of the bones. She finishes loading the dishwasher when Monroe gets up from the table and declares he is going to bed.

Goodnight. Turn the alarm on, she says to his back as he leaves the kitchen.

I will. Goodnight, Effie.

That is the extent of their communication. Monroe will spend the rest of the night in bed watching sports, or one of the many shows that he has recorded on the DVR.

Effie watches TV for a couple of hours before deciding to call it a night. Effie never thought that they would be sleeping in separate bedrooms. She always thought it would contribute to the destruction of intimacy in any marriage, but the disconnection in their marriage happened long before she started sleeping in the guest room. Effie should have left when Monroe cheated on her the first time, but she stayed, hoping it would not happen again. After Monroe’s third or fourth indiscretion, Effie gave up hoping and decided to not look for trouble. Effie never checked his cell phone or questioned where he was going or where he had been. Effie stayed married because she wanted her son to have a father, and the truth was she still wanted to wake up next to him. There was a time when Effie would have done anything to be with Monroe, but not anymore.

Now that the second half of her life is moving faster than the first half, Effie wants to leave her marriage of 35 years. She wants to travel and live life on her own terms, she wants to live her best life as people say today. Effie gave her husband and her son the best part of herself, always sacrificing, still sacrificing. Her son is a grown man with a wife and child of his own, so the relationship he has with his father should be able to withstand the uncoupling of her and Monroe. She does not want a divorce; she wants to go away on my own for a while or for the rest of whatever days she has left.

Effie feels like she is losing everything she has in order to find herself. She is afraid that if she continues down the same path that she has travelled most of her adult years she will never know what she could have been. This is the last thing she thinks when she drifts off to sleep.

Chapter 2

GEORGIA

Where the hell is Lawrence…probably out fucking his secretary again. Georgia looks at the amber liquid in my crystal tumbler and takes another sip. In the 30 years she has been married to Lawrence, he has had multiple affairs. The affair he is having now feels different.

Lawrence’s previous affairs were all head trips for him. He has always surrounded himself with beautiful things, which is what women are to him, beautiful things to be possessed, displayed, and discarded. Monica, the latest participant in Lawrence’s infidelity, is not only beautiful but also intelligent. Georgia has the feeling that this is not her first rodeo, and it certainly is not Georgia’s first either. Georgia has watched a parade of women hoping to become the new Mrs. Bennett, but before they got too comfortable, Lawrence would become bored, give them a little cash, and send them on their way.

Georgia was not overly concerned in the beginning when Lawrence started his affair with Monica, but now she is. Lawrence is not as discreet with Monica as he has been with the others. Monica attended their annual 4th of July barbeque, as did most of the office staff and partners. But there was something about the way Lawrence looked at her that Georgia knew that she had the potential to be more than the flavor of the month.

It is Georgia’s custom to pop up at the office whenever she thinks Lawrence is cheating to see if it is someone in the office. The pop-ups are also to make it clear to whomever that she is not going anywhere. Back in the day, Monica would have been a non-factor, but Georgia knows that it is not back in the day. Monica is 30 years her junior, but if she thinks she is going to take her place, she better think again.

Georgia stands on a large terrace overlooking her expansive backyard. The terrace has a central fireplace separating the lounge area from the outdoor kitchen. Two steps down from the terrace artificial turf surrounds a simple rectangular pool with an infinity edge and jacuzzi. Beyond that are the planting beds teeming with hedges for privacy, hydrangeas for color, and foxtail ferns for a bit of whimsy.

Every time Georgia goes to the backyard it takes her breath away. She turns on the outdoor lights and contemplates whether, or not to put a log in the fireplace. She is already feeling the effects of the whiskey she is drinking, so she decides to pass on the fire. Lawrence Bennett has given her everything she could have dreamed of except what she and her boys needed the most. Georgia wanted Lawrence to share his life with them. She learned after they married that Lawrence was a selfish man who did not care about anything but making a name for himself and making money.

Lawrence’s private practice was small when she began working in his office as the receptionist. Within five years of her working as a receptionist, Lawrence was appointed 987(a) PC by the Court to represent a man charged with first degree murder. Lawrence’s strategy to stand on the defendant’s constitutional right to a speedy trial worked. The defendant refused to waive his right to a speedy trial.

Lawrence and his client knew the District Attorney’s witness was on the run and Lawrence had no intention of giving the District Attorney the time needed to find the witness, let alone convince him to testify. After Lawrence’s successful defense of his client, high profile cases and the bread-and-butter drug cases poured into the office. Lawrence expanded and upgraded his practice.

It was during those exhilarating times that Lawrence and Georgia began dating. Georgia was so impressed with the material things that Lawrence could provide her and the boys that when he asked her to marry him, she did not even think about whether or not he would be a good stepfather. It was not until they were married a few years that she began to see that Lawrence did not have any interest in her boys and he would not be helping them to become men. She could not think of one father and son moment he had with her boys, not even watching a football or basketball game with them. Her boys were just that: her boys; to Lawrence they were the baggage she brought into the marriage.

The day he told her that he had no intention of being a father to her boys she should have left, but she could not leave the money, vacations, houses, jewelry, so she told herself that she could love her sons enough and give them enough that they would not miss having a father or a father figure. Georgia had no idea of the emotional stress and trauma she subjected her sons to.

Her boys grew up with the best of everything. On the outside, they were like her well-manicured yard: watered and pruned to perfection, but never allowed to grow freely or organically. When they were little boys, they were so thirsty for some show of approval or love from Lawrence it would kindle a fire so hot inside that she thought she could leave. But the fear of going