The Ambassador of 38th Avenue

By Kevin Carroll

In his book, The Ambassador of 38th Avenue, Kevin Carroll shares a number of significant life lessons he learned over the course of his lifetime, and explains the life experiences through which he learned each of these important lessons.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Apr 18, 2022
• ISBN: 9798765227527

Kevin Carroll

KEVIN CARROLL is a native of San Francisco. He is a graduate of both Santa Clara University and the University of San Francisco. He has lived in the Santa Clara Valley for more than fifty years. Carroll is the author of A Moment’s Pause for Gratitude (Balboa Press, 2017)

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Copyright © 2022 Kevin Carroll.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means,

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except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher

make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book

and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Balboa Press

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any

technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the

advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer

information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-

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constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Author photo on back cover courtesy of Molly Wren.

ISBN: 979-8-7652-2750-3 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-2751-0 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-2752-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022907220

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/13/2022

To my grandchildren:

Liam

Emily

Penny

Scarlett

(And any other grandkids who may come along later.)

Your unconditional love and

youthful energy bring much

happiness into my life,

and for this I am

eternally grateful.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1     This Is It

Chapter 2     Carl Guerra

Chapter 3     Learning to Do Good

Chapter 4     Island Life

Chapter 5     The Incorrigibles

Chapter 6     Bellarmine

Chapter 7     Bahamas

Chapter 8     Being With

Chapter 9     Destination Addiction

Chapter 10   Self-Knowledge

Chapter 11   No Timeline for Success

Chapter 12   Tough Choices

Chapter 13   Teaching 101

Chapter 14   Feeling Appreciated

Chapter 15   What I Learned from Golf

Chapter 16   Be Kind

Chapter 17   Embracing the Ordinary

Chapter 18   On Becoming Better

Chapter 19   Respect

Chapter 20   Self-Care

Chapter 21   Exceeding Expectations

Chapter 22   Meant to Be

Chapter 23   The Gift of Time

Chapter 24   It’s the Little Things

Chapter 25   Midlife

Chapter 26   Attitude is Everything

Chapter 27   Empathy

Chapter 28   Making a Difference

Chapter 29   Passing the Baton

Chapter 30   It’s Not About You

Chapter 31   Self-Confidence

Chapter 32   When Death is Imminent

Chapter 33   Embracing Grief

Chapter 34   Lifelong Learning

Chapter 35   Embracing Reality

Chapter 36   Time to Go

Chapter 37   The Power of Affability

Chapter 38   Influencers

Chapter 39   Published!

Chapter 40   Nurturing Friendships

Conclusion

Introduction

"What you do is your life.

What you set in motion is your legacy."

~ Leonard Sweet

Okay, let’s get one thing out of the way before I go on any further. I did not ascribe the designation The Ambassador of 38th Avenue to myself. This title was bestowed upon me by one of my elderly neighbors, Sam Young, when I was just a kid. I was always a bit of an extrovert who enjoyed meeting people. I savored every opportunity to make newcomers feel welcome and to interact with those already residing on 38th Avenue. It was not uncommon for me to ring the doorbell of a family new to our block and to welcome them to the neighborhood. I cannot tell you why I did this, but it’s true. So as I considered a title for this memoir, my wife, Kathy, reminded me of the honor I’d earned as a child. I immediately knew this would be the title of the book. Enough about that.

One theme which I hope is recognizable throughout this book is that of legacy. Yes, I’m getting older, so the thought of what I might leave behind after my demise has crossed my mind on several occasions. I’m not wealthy in terms of money or material possessions, so I have relatively little of monetary value to leave for my three sons. On the other hand, I consider myself to be incredibly wealthy in terms of life experiences, through which I have learned some important life lessons. It is my hope that this book will serve as the legacy I’d like to leave for my sons, my grandchildren, and future generations.

During my high school and college years, I read many of the great authors, including regionalist writers such as John Steinbeck. In his short story, Tularecito, Steinbeck touched on the human desire to be remembered. He wrote, After the bare requisites to living and reproducing, man wants most to leave some record of himself, a proof, perhaps, that he really existed. This observation might explain the graffiti we see on so many buildings, fences, and overpasses in our communities today. It might also explain my motivation for writing this memoir.

As I begin the process of writing this book, I am approaching the age of 68. It is a well-known fact that life will end for all of us some day. That’s non-negotiable. It is also understood that we don’t know when that some day will be. The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a vital statistics report in 2021 which indicated that the life expectancy for men living in California, which is longer than for men in any of the other forty-nine states in our country, is only 78.4 years. Whether it’s the California weather, the healthy negative ions of the Pacific Ocean, or the laidback lifestyle people think we live here in the Golden State, that’s still not great news for men. According to this statistic, I have just a little more than ten years remaining in my life. For this reason, I’ve decided to write this memoir now rather than waiting until I have more to write about at some later date. As Brazilian author Paulo Coelho stated so eloquently in his novel, The Zahir, One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now. Powerful words from a wise man and accomplished writer. I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect upon the life I’ve lived, to recognize specific individuals and experiences through which I learned some of these important life lessons, and to share these life lessons with you.

I missed out on some amazing opportunities in my earlier days — opportunities which would have allowed me to get to know and understand my parents and grandparents better than I did. I wish I had asked my grandparents more questions about their history, their experiences of leaving their homes in Ireland and settling in San Francisco during a period of fierce anti-Irish sentiment. I wish I’d asked my Dad to provide more details about his childhood, his hopes and fears, his role as a husband and father to four children, and his various experiences in the San Francisco Fire Department. This is one of my primary motives for writing this book. Despite the mistakes I’ve made, and there have been many, I have lived a fairly good life to this point. I’ve enjoyed some incredible experiences, made my fair share of poor decisions, and endured some manageable disappointments. Through the process of writing about my life, I hope to allow my children, grandchildren, and other readers of this book to better understand who I was — growing up in San Francisco in the turbulent 1960’s, coming of age at a time when gender roles in relationships were turned upside down, and adjusting to a high-tech world that, previously, had been the fodder for science fiction — and what it was like for me to live in this unique period of history.

It would be difficult for me to accurately identify exactly when I made the decision to write this memoir. Like most authors, I initially wondered who, if anyone, would be interested in reading about my life or hearing about the important lessons I’ve learned along the way. As I’ve grown older, however, it has become clear to me that I do have a story worth sharing. For this reason, writing and publishing this book has become a priority.

What I want to leave for my descendants is not simply proof of my existence, but tangible evidence of my love for them, of my imperfect humanness, as well as a valuable collection of lessons I’ve learned and insights I’ve gained. This book, more than anything, is what I want to leave for the next generation and generations to come — a true legacy of love.

Brené Brown is a well-known researcher, lecturer, and author. She knows the power of storytelling — which is precisely what this memoir is all about. She said, One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide. This may or may not be true of this book. I will not be describing experiences of intense trauma, as I’ve had very few in my lifetime. I do, however, believe that some of the lessons shared in this book will shed light on situations in the lives of others in such a way as to help them better navigate the rough waters they may encounter in their own lives.

The Ambassador of 38th Avenue could not have been written at any earlier time in my life, because, as Ernest Hemingway points out, In order to write about life, first you must live it. Well, I’ve lived it, and by the grace of God, I continue to live it. This book has inherent value because no one else has seen nor experienced life exactly as I have, so no one else can tell the stories that I will be sharing with you.

Every good book has a beginning, middle, and end. I am confident that mine is a good story, though the end remains to be lived out. I have no desire to live forever, but in writing this book, my hope is to create something that will. I am well aware that, as a writer, I cannot force someone to hear a message they are neither ready nor willing to receive, but I would never want to underestimate the power of planting seeds.

I begin each chapter in this book with a quote, and I incorporate additional quotes throughout the book. I do this because when someone attempts to share their own wisdom, others often dismiss it as lacking credibility. By using quotes to share the wisdom of others, it might come across as less arrogant, so people might be more likely to accept it.

Benjamin Franklin wrote, If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. My hope, in writing and publishing The Ambassador of 38th Avenue, is to have accomplished both of these things.

1

This Is It

"Realize deeply that the present moment

is all you ever have."

~ Eckhart Tolle

Those of us who grew up in San Francisco in the 1960s would probably agree that The City has changed — and not necessarily for the better. Certainly, there have been some improvements, such as the China Basin development, which includes the ball park where the San Francisco Giants play, and the newer indoor arena, home to the Golden State Warriors. I don’t mention these venues by name for the simple reason that corporate