How to Find Yourself: Why Looking Inward Is Not the Answer

By Brian S. Rosner and Carl R. Trueman

A Christian Answer to the Identity Angst of Our Culture
In the 21st-century West, identity is everything. Never has it been more important, culturally speaking, to know who you are and remain true to yourself. Expressive individualism—the belief that looking inward is the way to find yourself—has become the primary approach to identity formation, and questioning anyone's "self-made self" is often considered a threat or attack.
Prompted by his own past crisis of identity, Brian Rosner challenges the status quo by arguing that, while knowing yourself is of some value, it cannot be the sole basis for one's identity. He provides an approach to identity formation that leads to a more stable and satisfying sense of self. This approach looks outward to others—acknowledging that we are social beings—and looks upward to God to find a self who is intimately known and loved by him. How to Find Yourself equips readers from a variety of backgrounds to engage sympathetically with some of the most pressing questions of our day.

- Challenges the Status Quo: Examines and critiques expressive individualism—the leading strategy for identity formation
- Gospel-Centered: Identifies an approach to identity formation in Jesus's life story and God's personal knowledge of his children
- Accessible: Helpful for a wide audience of laypeople, students, and church leaders
- Foreword by Carl R. Trueman: Opens with a message from the author of The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self

• Language: English
• Publisher: Crossway Books
• Release date: May 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781433578182

Brian S. Rosner

Brian S. Rosner is Principal of Ridley College in Melbourne, Australia https://www.ridley.edu.au/. Previously he taught at the University of Aberdeen and Moore Theological College.  He holds degrees from Sydney University and Dallas Theological Seminary and has a PhD from the University of Cambridge.  Brian is the author or editor of over a dozen books, including the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology, the Pillar commentary on 1 Corinthians (with Roy E. Ciampa), The Consolations of Theology, Greed as Idolatry, Paul and the Law, and How to Find Yourself: Why Looking Inward is Not the Answer. He is married to Natalie and has four children, a son-in-law and two grandchildren.

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"With remarkable clarity and helpful analysis, Brian Rosner provides a template for understanding the expressive individualism so prevalent in the West. Rosner does so in an irenic way that makes this book approachable to those caught up in individualist approaches. It will be a helpful primer to some of the more important conversations people have at each other today—and it can help us to start talking with one another instead."

Ed Stetzer, Professor and Dean, Wheaton College

"What a solid and needed book! How to Find Yourself is about locating yourself not in the privatized world of your own self-constructed identity but in the social and divine contexts in which people live, made as they are in the image of God. In a modern world filled with loneliness and dislocation, this book connects you with life as it was designed to be lived with others. It sees life in the world for the challenge it often is, including the faults of what we do to one another, but it does not hide from the responsibility we all have for making it that way and from the opportunity that a connection to God and care for others has for making it better."

Darrell L. Bock, Executive Director of Cultural Engagement, The Hendricks Center, Dallas Theological Seminary

"How to Find Yourself gives readers a roadmap to the stories that compete for our affections. And Brian Rosner reveals the gospel as the compass that shows the way home. If you want to understand this cultural moment, pay close attention to this book."

Collin Hansen, Vice President for Content and Editor in Chief, The Gospel Coalition; Host, Gospelbound podcast

How do I ‘find myself’? For many today, this question is both puzzling and provocative. How does it involve my sexuality, my ethnicity, my family, my country, and my very soul? For Brian Rosner, this is not merely academic but deeply personal. As he exposes the shortcomings of looking only inward, he answers these questions from sociology and, above all, the Bible. This volume is a countercultural but profoundly helpful contribution to the topic of identity.

Richard Chin, National Director, Australian Fellowship of Evangelical Students; author, Captivated by Christ

"How to Find Yourself powerfully confronts one of the most pertinent cultural issues of our time—namely, personal identity. Rosner writes with clarity and verve, synthesizing the best current research and scholarship. The book reveals the numerous shortcomings of the dominant cultural narrative of expressive individualism, which encourages us to ‘find ourselves’ through looking inward and becoming who we ‘really are.’ Powerful though it is, there is a deep poverty to this idea, which leaves people—particularly younger generations—profoundly dissatisfied. How to Find Yourself turns to an alternative and far richer story. Paradoxically, rather than belonging to ourselves, it is precisely in losing ourselves that we can find our identity, by belonging to the story of God’s people, based on the life of Jesus Christ. Providing insights from his own deeply moving story, Rosner shows that this countercultural path offers a way of finding ourselves that gives meaning to our suffering and is a call to serve others. How to Find Yourself will challenge you to assess your most foundational assumptions about who you are."

Sarah Irving-Stonebraker, Senior Lecturer in Modern European History, Western Sydney University

The personal restlessness, dissatisfaction, and cultural mayhem produced by our attempts to find and identify ourselves from within, without external reference points, is deeply saddening. Once, we assumed that our identity related to the greater purposes of a higher being. Increasingly now, we favor starting with the idea that we can be our own gods, providing our own morality, reason for being, purpose, and direction in life, only to find that we are grievously inadequate to the task. Brian Rosner writes with the quiet authority of a deeply informed mind, keen observation of the human condition, and the warm understanding of personal experience of that condition. The result is a highly valuable book that offers wise counsel on combining a right personal reflectiveness with the wisdom of the ages as a better way.

John Anderson, Former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia

How to Find Yourself

How to Find Yourself

Why Looking Inward Is Not the Answer

Brian Rosner

Foreword by Carl R. Trueman

How to Find Yourself: Why Looking Inward Is Not the Answer

Copyright © 2022 by Brian Rosner

Published by Crossway

1300 Crescent Street

Wheaton, Illinois 60187

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Crossway® is a registered trademark in the United States of America.

Cover design: Spencer Fuller, Faceout Studios

First printing 2022

Printed in the United States of America

Some content in the introduction and chapters 1, 4, 8, 11, and 13 are taken from Known by God: A Biblical Theology of Personal Identity by Brian S. Rosner. Copyright © 2017 by Brian S. Rosner. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com.

Some content in chapter 10 is take from Brian Rosner, Justice, in NIV Biblical Theology Study Bible edited by D. A. Carson. Copyright © 2018 by Zondervan. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com.

Some content in the introduction and chapters 2, 10, 11, and 12 is adapted from Brian S. Rosner, Identity Angst: Narrative Identity and Anglican Liturgy, in Making the Word of God Fully Known: Essays on Church, Culture, and Mission in Honor of Archbishop Philip Freier edited by Paul A. Barker and Bradley S. Billings. Used by permission of Wipf and Stock Publishers, www.wipfandstock.com.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated into any other language.

Scripture quotations marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked NASB® are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org.

Scripture quotations designated NET are from the NET Bible® copyright © 1996–2016 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NJB are from The New Jerusalem Bible, copyright © 1985 by Darton, Longman & Todd, Ltd. and Doubleday, a division of Random House, Inc. Reprinted by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NRSV are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked PHILLIPS are from The New Testament in Modern English by J. B. Phillips © 1960, 1972 J. B. Phillips. Administered by The Archbishops’ Council of the Church of England. Used by Permission.

Scripture quotations marked REB are taken from the Revised English Bible, copyright © Cambridge University Press and Oxford University Press 1989. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright © 1946, 1952, and 1971 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the author.

Trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-4335-7815-1

ePub ISBN: 978-1-4335-7818-2

PDF ISBN: 978-1-4335-7816-8

Mobipocket ISBN: 978-1-4335-7817-5

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Rosner, Brian S., author. | Trueman, Carl R, other. 

Title: How to find yourself : why looking inward is not the answer / Brian Rosner ; foreword by Carl R Trueman. 

Description: Wheaton, Illinois : Crossway, 2022. | Includes bibliographical references and index. 

Identifiers: LCCN 2021045822 (print) | LCCN 2021045823 (ebook) | ISBN 9781433578151 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781433578168 (pdf) | ISBN 9781433578175 (mobipocket) | ISBN 9781433578182 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Identity (Psychology)—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Self—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Individualism—Religious aspects—Christianity. 

Classification: LCC BV4509.5 .R6635 2022 (print) | LCC BV4509.5 (ebook) | DDC 248.4—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021045822

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021045823

Crossway is a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

2022-06-30 10:44:34 AM

To my children, their partners, and my grandchildren:

Elizabeth, Emily, William, Toby, Phil, Gabbie, Eloise, and Ivy.

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Introduction: Stranger in the Mirror

Part 1: Looking for Yourself

1  Looking Inward

2  A Collective Identity Crisis

3  Five Tests of the Good Life

4  Ancient Texts and Modern Preoccupations

5  Looking Elsewhere

Part 2: You Are a Social Being

6  Social Identity

7  Known by God

Part 3: You Are Your Story

8  Narrative Identity

9  The Story of Secular Materialism

10  The Story of Social Justice

11  The Life Story of Jesus Christ

Part 4: The New You

12  Losing Yourself

13  Finding Yourself

General Index

Scripture Index

Foreword

Today, there is perhaps no more pressing a topic than identity. Whether we are speaking about race, ethnicity, or sexuality and how they shape political discourse, or about our own personal sense of self and how that informs our day-to-day lives, the question of identity is omnipresent, all-pervasive, and deeply influential. And yet this is historically unusual: one can look long and hard in literature prior to the 1960s and find little or no discussion of identity in the manner in which we think of it today. And that in itself is significant for it is only when something can no longer be assumed, when it becomes something about which we imagine we have some power of choice, that it becomes a source of reflection and debate.

So it is with identity. In times past, a relative static social order and comparatively stable institutions—for example, nation, church, family—meant that personal identity was something we were given, something over which we had little or no choice. But in a world of flux and change, such as that which we now inhabit, such solid external markers of identity no longer provide us with the framework for understanding ourselves. At the same time, and perhaps in part as a response to this, the question of identity has been further complicated by the prioritizing of feelings and psychology as determinative of who we are. To the question, Who are you?, there now seems for so many people no easy or straightforward answer.

This is particularly pressing for Christians. Not only are we Christians called to maintain that human identity is ultimately rooted in the fact that we are made in God’s image; we are also called to relativize any competing claims to offer identity in light of that fact. In a world where so many identities now set themselves in direct opposition to traditional Christianity, that makes our situation even more complicated.

Any Christian response must address, first, the nature of contemporary thinking about identity and the self. Then, second, it needs to look at how identities are actually formed. Yes, we tend to think of identity as a monologue: I am exactly who I tell myself I am, and I make the choices that contribute to that. But in reality, identity is always a dialogue: the choices I make are shaped by the people and the institutions with which I have connections; I, like you, am a relational being whose identity cannot be isolated from the network of social relationships in which I exist. And third, it needs to set these two dimensions—the monologic and the dialogic—in the context of biblical teaching. Clearly, the Bible contains introspection—look at many of the Psalms—and also places a premium on interpersonal human relationships, but it also sets both within the context of the great, objective existence of God and the truth of the gospel story. The key is to see how that story should inform how we think about selfhood and identity today.

In this volume, Brian Rosner does just that. Even as he critiques many aspects of modern identity, he seeks to build connections between how we think and how the Bible indicates we should think. This is not polemical, but it is not soft on what is wrong in our era. Nor is it heavy sociology or theology, but rather it is substantial and engaging, pressing on an issue—perhaps the issue—of our day in a clear and thoughtful manner. And Brian has that rare gift of being able to communicate deep biblical insight in prose that does not drag or confuse but rather engages the reader and helps us to see ourselves more clearly. This is a fine volume that punches far above its weight. Pastors, teachers, youth leaders, parents, and thoughtful Christians everywhere will find it a worthwhile and edifying read.

Carl R. Trueman

Grove City College

Preface

This book is about your favorite subject: you! Personal identity is a subject of unprecedented interest in our day. It has never been more important to know who you are. It has also never been more difficult. That conundrum lies at the heart of this book. My interest in the subject of personal identity goes back to my own crisis of identity in the mid-1990s. It is an intensely personal book, both for the author and the readers.

This is my second book on personal identity. Known by God: A Biblical Theology of Personal Identity (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2017) concentrates on the Bible’s teaching about the subject. This book looks more directly at our cultural moment and the identity angst that seems to have engulfed our age. It was written with two convictions: many people find personal identity to be a subject that is confusing and confronting; and the gospel story offers a better way to find and be yourself than the one currently offered by modern society.

Every author knows that humans are social beings and that sole authorship is a ruse. This book began its life as the 2017 New College Lectures at the University of New South Wales. I am grateful to New College for the privilege of delivering the lectures and for an enjoyable week during which my ideas were challenged and revised.

Ridley College has been a great context in which to develop the ideas of this book. The gospel-shaped community of faculty, staff, and students is warm and cheerful, and it upholds the highest academic standards. I finished the book during a semester’s study leave in the second half of 2019. I appreciate the board’s generous support and encouragement of the increasingly scarce species of scholar principal.

I owe a debt of gratitude to many other people who helped in writing the book, too numerous to list in full. The standouts include Gina Denholm, whose keen eye helped me to knock off many of the rough edges, and the team at Crossway for their fellowship in the gospel and consummate professionalism. Kevin Emmert’s work as editor was impeccable. My wife, Natalie, continues to be my most forthright critic and principal encourager.

Thanks are also due to Carl Trueman for writing the foreword. Having overlapped with me in the 1990s at the University of Aberdeen, Carl was around at the very beginning of my wrestling with questions of identity. His own book The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2020) appeared too late for me to take into account in this book. Fortunately, our books explore different aspects of the subject. If Carl’s is about the roots of the modern self, mine looks at the fruit and points to a better place to plant yourself.

My hope and prayer is that How to Find Yourself will help many people experience the joy and comfort of looking for their identity in the right places and discovering that their true identity is hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3, my translation).

Introduction

Stranger in the Mirror

Be who you are and say what you feel.

Dr. Seuss’s eponymous Cat in the Hat

Be true to yourself.

Everyone from Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres,

Beyoncé, and Michelle Obama

to Steph Curry, Donald Trump,

and every student Body President

Who am I? Lonely questions mock me.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer¹

Knowing who you are and being true to yourself have never been more important than in the twenty-first century West. They are seen as signs of good mental health and wellbeing, and the keys to authentic living and true happiness.

The topic of personal identity is of unprecedented interest. The terms personal identity and identity formation were barely in use before 1960; they now appear frequently in a wide range of disciplines and literature. Whereas once the advice to be yourself was rarely heard, now it is commonplace.²

Of course, to be yourself, you have to know who you are. Most people today believe that there is only one place to look to find yourself, and that is inward. Personal identity is a do-it-yourself project. All forms of external authority are to be rejected, and everyone’s quest for self-expression should be celebrated. This strategy of identity formation, sometimes labelled expressive individualism, is the view that you are who you feel yourself to be on the inside and that acting in accordance with this identity constitutes living authentically.

Yet, ironically, knowing who you are has also never been more difficult. Scores of people today feel anxious and uncertain about their identities. A myriad of factors weighs against having a stable and satisfying sense of self. Living our lives in the separate compartments of home, work, and leisure can produce superficial relationships. Multiple careers and relationship breakdowns can lead to confusion over some of the most basic of answers to the question of who we are. Questions over gender and sexuality have sprung up like never before. And defining ourselves via social media is fraught with dangers and

Reviews for How to Find Yourself

[Eric · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Brilliant book on identity formation. Rosner deals with the complexity of this process with thoughtfulness and clarity. Whilst his argument is logical and easy to follow, it is not reductionistic in any way. I like his measured approach in upholding self-reflection but also pointing to the reality of needing to look sideways and upwards. I fully recommend this book to all who are seeking to find themselves.