The Power of Enlightenment. The Great Unseen. Mahadeva. Memoirs of the Great Supreme Nirvana. Part 3.

By Oday La Kingsavanh

Captures my inner transformations, full awakenings and remembrances of myself as the great, supreme God Rudra. The Supreme Ruler of the Universe. This memoir continues from part 2, recounting more of my inward journeys of transforming, transcending, facing, and accepting myself as the Supreme Void. The energy which supports, upholds, creates, and destroys the entire planet, for all. Details my divine union with the great supreme God Krishna, along of my duty to the world. Provides deeper details of my ascension, awakening, in addition to recognizing different forms of mine (Kali, Mahakal, Rudra). The book highlights my complete supreme enlightenment, where there's no 'me', non-mind, where I absolutely know nothing, simply this supreme awareness consciousness itself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Oday La Kingsavanh
• Release date: Mar 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005854133

Oday La Kingsavanh

Oday La Kingsavanh was born in Savannakhet, Laos in 1972 and immigrated with her family to the United States in 1983. She began school in sixth grade knowing hardly any English but determined to succeed academically. She graduated with a BS in Psychology in 1996, MA in Counseling Psychology in 2001, and doctorate degree in Counselor Education and Supervision in 2009.She started meditating as ways to find focus and relieve from daily stress; but her deeper immersion in meditation had led her to understand herself and existence more than she had hoped or expected.She lives in Illinois.YouTube channel: La Kingsavanh (https://www.youtube.com/user/lasoy681).Sharing with everyone her insights and wisdom of transcendence, Self-realization and remembrance. It is her love and devotion to Self.Namaste, beloved!

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Part 3

Published by Oday La Kingsavanh at Smashwords

Copyright 2022 Oday La Kingsavanh

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you so much.

Namo tassa bhagaovato arahato samma sambuddhassa

Namo tassa bhagaovato arahato samma sambuddhassa

Namo tassa bhagaovato arahato samma sambuddhassa

Namo tassa bhagaovato arahato samma sambuddhassa

Namo tassa bhagaovato arahato samma sambuddhassa

Homage to the Blessed One. The Exalted One. The Supremely Enlightened One.

Namaste beloved!

This book continues from The Power of Enlightenment. The Great Unseen. Mahadeva. Memoirs of the Great Supreme Nirvana. Part 2.

One unique morning, though, once I arose for the day and Sean acquired two days off from work, I walked into the garage, asking, Do you want to have sex tonight?

No! he replied. I don’t want to.

Hurt, puzzled, and surprised by his answer, and thinking he may be having an affair, I asked, Why?

I am tired, he said. He saw my angry, disheartening expression. Maybe I should, since I don’t get it often.

Soon I ranted at him for saying ‘no’ and told him not at all would I ever ask him again. His response propelled my fury, thus I rushed out of the garage, wanting to weep. It felt like a knife was thrusted into my chest. Santi’s buddy planned to come over, and so I stood by the deck, facing the achy emotion.

I am so fucking angry at him!

When the little guy’s gal pal ran into the driveway, I greeted my friend and the cutie. Santi already relaxed in his inflatable pool, and on his inflated turtle. On and off, I met this fiery feeling. If Sean was cheating, I wouldn’t know what to do, as if I could destroy him into bits, plus whoever he chose to couple with. As I’d tackled this betrayal emotion a few times before, it wasn’t as excruciating. It was though I could and would only show mercy and forgiveness, despite how piercing it’d be.

It seemed my anger wasn’t associated too much by the unpleasant situation with him, however this was tough to discern.

I am letting everything go, Krishna! I am letting everything go! Krishna!

Sean and I couldn’t even be in the same room, as we remained quiet, driven by enormous tensions boiling within (at least on my end). My interest in intimacy was for him, in many respects, since the only God I make love to was Krishna. I spoke to Sean sparingly and grunting, as my irritation semi lowered.

When the kiddos finished enjoying the water, they played Legos indoor. A while later they were reminded of chowtime. Santi hadn’t eaten lunch.

It’s time for a snack, guys! I said. This is my fourth time telling you guys. The fifth time, you’ll hear me yelling!

While they snacked, one of them uttered, as I already forgotten, even before, during, and after, what I'd said. I just said it. You said you were going to yell at us, but you didn’t.

You don’t want me to yell! The sun won’t shine and the clouds won’t move! I yelled, agitated.

You don’t want her to do that! Sean intervened, rushing from the living room to the kitchen. You don’t ever want her to do that!

If I was plunged into chaos, the Universe would be, too. Santi’s chum left at sunset. In my room, I sat bursting of irritation and hurt. My heart bemoaned of nothing besides pain.

I shut my eyes, witnessing Krishna’s spinning images in a cathedral. Every turn consisted of He, as this hall itself. In a moment, I found myself carrying my beloved weapon of destruction, walking through a tunnel of only energy. Ahead, displayed ivory light.

I love Krishna so badly, I mumbled. I love only Him. He’s the only God in me.

Eventually, when I made it through and located Him in the night air, I grew immensely vulnerable. Krishna! You have brought me here, to be with You! You have brought me here!

He mentioned something alike He wasn’t able to help it.

You’re the greatest weakness I have ever had, He informed me.

Amid embracing him, I conveyed of my great anger. Shortly I stood up, screaming vocally.

I am so angry! There’s aggression in me! I can only burn in it! I can only burn in it!

The heated sensation surged vehemently throughout my veins. My form morphed into Shiva, standing tall and breathtakingly handsome. I raised my weapon, and blue and white electrical currents launched from it into the heavens, and electrically charged me all over as I was made up of nothing but this itself.

The great Mahadev! Krishna shouted. I collapsed onto my knees, but in La’s physique.

I don’t know how to be anything! I don’t know how to be anything! Krishna! I am such unborn! I am such unborn! I don’t think! I don’t think! Krishna! I am such unborn! I don’t think. I truly don’t think. I completely don’t think! Krishna!

An ocean manifested itself, and I crawled its direction. The water appeared semi-green; not the clearest. A Hindu Goddess showed, sticking out her red tongue and standing airborne. She might have held a sword and possessed plenty of arms and heads, too.

I don’t like that form of myself, I said, looking away quickly, wanting to dissipate her physical trait despite lacking knowledge of who she was, but realized she was La.

Suddenly, in front of a coconut tree, I lounged, not having any desire.

Who are you? I finally asked, staring off in the distance.

The Goddess! She yelled, and momentarily paused. Kali! The greatest Destroyer! Creator! And Sustainer in this entirety!

Procured no wish for anything, I kept quiet.

Kali?

I only love Krishna, I mumbled. I only love Him. Krishna.

Remaining silent, immersed solely in the Divine God, but She yelled vociferously, which caused me to feel dizzy. I leaned forward.

Lord Shiva!! You are here!! Now!!!

I rubbed my head, staring at her.

I am here, now.

The only path to understand what occurred was to become She. I sailed her way, and took her over. My form changed into Shiva, but in a shapeless shape, three white streaks drawn across my forehead.

The greatest Lord! Shiva! The greatest Lord! Shiva! She kept reciting, comprehending she might be one of my devotees, one who held great love for me. My forehead morphed into a beaming light, illuminating universally. My ‘sight’ was far more immaculate than I’d ever witnessed. Black lingam manifested in circulating sky, and I cuddled it sincerely.

Your vision is the most powerful! Lord Shiva! It can churn the entire Cosmos!

I watched the Universe churning, corresponding to a whirling galaxy. Didn’t realize my might was beyond grasp, as this wasn’t the first round in which my eyesight had been awakened, yet, not to this greatness.

It’s supreme power! The whole Cosmos is in your command! Lord Shiva!

Upon hearing the Goddess, my Soul lessened to an utmost defenseless. Despite being the absolute power, I was inconceivably soft, gentle and truly harmless.

I plopped down holding my trident. My shapeless shape altered into La. It didn’t matter if I could carry ten big mountains not having to lift my finger and throw them across a planet without blinking. My utmost, incomparable strength simply revolved around my untouched kindness and compassion for mankind, for all, and for Self. This very love itself resulted in being my grandest, where all became no more than my eternal beloved.

I'd notice small, littlest things, such as a leaf dropping from a tree or a tiniest ant crawling by, and would observe and love them as truly dear, as my heart.

The God possessing the divine flute invisibly stroked my mane. In a moment, I sat, resting my head on His shoulder. He caressed my chin.

So truly pure. So completely pure. You’re supreme pureness. This absolute pureness has taken all of Me, He disclosed, as this was His ultimate weakness.

Elsewhere, Krishna situated his hand against a wall, under moonlight. I approached to squeeze him.

My love, I said, reposing my head on His shoulder. He was deeply love and in love with me, as if He truly couldn’t be anywhere else.

You command Me, He said, which softened my core, unfathomed of His boundless, godly affection. You command Me absolutely. In every way, you command Me.

Incessantly, I yelled His name, as His love was incomprehensible, and ungrasp.

I love only You, I said. I submit only to You.

I uncovered my eyes, feeling lighter afterwards.

Sean entered, and we exchanged angry words. He communicated his distresses regarding his father and employment. He looked as he would collapse, soon. I kept shrieking at him, even when he walked to Santi’s room. He finally spoke, and I helped him process his pent-up emotions. He sobbed, disclosing his lack of ways to handle his elderly father's regression.

Welcome him as who he is. Welcome yourself, I said. He crumpled, divulging more of his pains that entwined him to his past relationship with his father, whereas he used to look to his dad as his ‘hero’.

Looks like it’s time to be your own hero.

He is like a child; a 7-year-old, now, he vented. Or worse. I don’t like it. I hate it.

You’re resisting change, I commented. Hanging onto how it used to be.

He’s so annoying, now, he expressed. He used to be kind, and gave whatever he had. Now he is selfish.

Allow him to be who he is, and accept him, so you can accept yourself. Enjoy him. He’s free. Isn’t it every soul’s wish to be free; to be a child again? I said. Maybe it’s good to grieve and let go of what you had with him, so you can appreciate your relationship with him now.

I don’t know how to let go! I hate it! It’s like I am going to explode! he continued.

Then explode, I said.

I don’t know what will happen if I do, he said.

Everything is already done. Explode.

He glanced at the floor, feeling vulnerable and crying. I watched him. He continued pouring out his resentments toward his father, freeing himself from entrapment of his thoughts and emotions.

I don’t even want to be there, he continued, about having to mow his parents’ lawn.

It’s hard to face the emotions you hold, I commented.

It just hurts, he conveyed. I am tired of getting hurt.

We continued the dialogue, though near the end. What helped him most was ‘welcome’.

He showed less heaviness, thanking me for my aid.

At dawn, I woke to brew coffee, then fed the fish. Sean woke, sharing that he'd mourned, last night, and didn’t have good rest, conveyed that he'd cried, hurt, pained, and angered.

Upstairs in my bedroom, I unwound. Within, I cried, having greater clarity of an internal happening. Realizing how greatly I'd missed and loved myself, wanting every aspect of myself to be with me.

I want my moon, my drum, my trident, my lingam, my cobra, my conch, my bull to always be with me. My cobra sitting on my neck, my moon sitting on my hair. Always with me.

Upon unlocking my phone, seeing headlines relating to protesters standing alongside the streets protesting George Floyd’s death. I invisibly went around, expressing my affection toward each.

I love you, my love, I said, unnoticeably touching their hands and faces.

Peace starts with you, my love. Peace begins with you.

An image of traveling a portal full of electricity occurred to me the following day. When encountering Shiva in a shapeless shape, sitting in the middle of it, I stopped and sat as Myself.

I am complete God, I said.

Then strolled in darkness, saying repeatedly: I am the great Supreme! Supreme power! Supreme love! Supreme God!

When standing directly from Krishna, He informed me of an identical message.

You’re the greatest Super Soul.

One more gateway, I traveled through, and called Quan Yin’s name. Afterwards finding myself walked in a dim, spotless galaxy, and heard, Divine Goddess’s essence. Divine Goddess’ essence.

After learning from my primary care physician’s nurse that my thyroid wasn’t level, I asked Sean to pick up the prescription the doctor ordered from the pharmacy, after his work. My symptoms were hair loss, irregular menstrual periods, mood swings, disturbed sleep, and dry skin, accompanied by couple more signs, which I couldn’t readily recollect.

Aware, though, when seeing Krishna’s pictures; unlike before when I’d also notice whatever else surrounded Him, too. But now, only He directly absorbed me. It didn’t matter who or what else encircled Him; I’d see and focus solely on Him. Everything else became peripheral.

At sundown, I walked through the lovely neighborhood listening to the Aum Namah Shiva mantra on the internet phone. The temperature boiled in midday, at sunset it turned amicably pleasant for a pleasurable stroll. Beaming within, loving the only God in me and singing His name, like always. When witnessing feathered friends sailing in the cloudless sky, I mumbled, I am home, home. I am home.

Sean grumbled over his father's quitting a summer job, notifying his dad contacted him at work, wanting him to stop by to have a family meeting. He wasn’t eager to visit, but went nonetheless. His father needed some kind of a family approval.

You’re frustrated with his decision, I commented, observing his unhappy expression.

I can’t understand why I can’t get over this. I can’t understand why I can’t accept him, he disclosed.

It’s not about getting over anything; it’s about being with what is. Being with this frustration itself, totally and completely. Accepting this frustration, itself, I said.

He fell quiet. You helped me realize that when you commented about me not overcoming my fear of caterpillars, I said.

Anyone would catch my screams, as I freaked throughout the dense forest preserve, we'd visited a month ago. All kinds of caterpillars hung from trees, crawling on paths, grass, and bushes. They'd invaded the whole forest. Although having an umbrella to prevent worms dangling on my hair, I still went wild. We enjoyed ourselves in the park for almost two days, and Sean joked over videoing me and sending it to ‘funny home video’, to win first prize.

The following noon, I hiked even though the wiggly crawlers were there, waiting. One of the children sped my way displaying a gray worm on a stick, trying to show there was nothing to be frightened off. Yet, I plunged into a frenzy, telling him he wasn’t going on outings with me ever again. The lad wanted to know why.

I don’t know. I am just scared, I answered. When I shared my dread with my friends, I came up with some reasons, though there weren't really any, at the slightest.

At night, I took myself to the park and let the caterpillars have a fun fill swarming over my chest, head, face, arms, and legs, to meet my fears. Even in my dreams, the vast sky sprinkled worms. One landed on my head, leading me to squeal hysterically, about to experience hyperventilation. My friend’s daughter, who had a sleepover with Santi, woke early and marched into my room, waking me from the horror.

Amid pacing from the bathroom to my bedroom the ensuing noon, within my core resounded all over, as the whole Universe was shouting, God Shiva! God Shiva!

I am God Shiva! I yelled vocally inside, and instantly saw myself in an unlit, unfilled cosmos. I am God Shiva! I am God Shiva! I am complete God Shiva!

Several days later, a flash emerged of erupting through a wormhole, finding Quin standing directly.

You completely rise, She