A Submariner’s Tales

By Hal Payne

This book is a collection of short tales, usually humours, sometimes serious, from my time served on a US submarine.

They are nonfiction stories, including people on submarines who have influenced and inspired me throughout life.

Some tales and adventures that should not be lost to time. Here are a few of them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Feb 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669886983

Book preview

Copyright © 2022 by Hal Payne.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and

such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 02/19/2022

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CONTENTS

Preface

USS Balao

The USS Quillback (SS424)

Dolphins

Red Devil Dave

Herb Tonnison

Young Smith

Engelberger

Hicks

Bemis

The Bermuda Triangle

Brogan

Scrounge

Smilie

The Black Eye

Young Officers

A Firkin Jug of Bacardy Rum

Smitty, The Sonarman

Doc Charette

The 100 foot Tank

Mess Cooks

T-2 Submarines

The Goat Locker

The Captain’s Safe

Officer Overboard

Look Out

QM Kennady

Tongue of the Ocean

Woods

Angle Jack

Negative Tank Failure

Look Out

Stew, The cook

Overhaul in Charlston

Sanitary Tank

Fenny

The First-Class Electrician

Lieutenant-commander May

Lieutenant-commander Munley

Captain Elefante

Hidden Arms

Gitmo

Crossing the Atlantic

Monaco

Naples

Piza

Inside Vesuvius

Pompeii

La Spezia

San Remo

Ocho Rios

Palma

Gilly

Title B Equipment.

Tamiami Trail

St. Petersburg, Florida

Torpedoes

Barracks

Torpedoing the USS Sea Owl

Rota and Cadiz, Spain

John Hineley

Security, or the lack of it

Personal Information.

Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful.

— George Bernard Shaw

We can not direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

— Thomas S. Monson

Dedicated to all smokeboat submariners.

Only they know what it was like.

PREFACE

On surface craft (Skimmers), it was required to wear uniforms all day, every day. It was required that we lived in crew’s quarters built for dozens of bodies in each compartment. We were expected to use all the proper terminology, some of which should not be repeated. We were expected to salute officers appropriately. We were expected to report to our muster stations first thing in the morning after breakfast. All this type of regulations were not a requirement on subs, in fact, some of it was frown upon.

I served on a converted WW2 submarine for 3 years, from 1959 to 1962. (They were referred as Smoke boats, Pig boats, and other names not to be mentioned in polite company.) Submarines are calls boats, not ships.

My first intentions regarding going on subs was to avoid going on a particular tin can, as destroyers were known.

I was stationed on an Auxiliary Navil Air Station in Pensacola, Florida and was called to see the commander of the base. He informed me that I had been on the base for a year and that it was traditional for personnel to be transferred after a year. He said that I had a choice, I could stay or be transferred. My reply was that I had joined the navy to see the world but had only seen the US, so I would like to transfer. So, within days, I had orders cut to be transferred to a destroyer out of Norfolk, Verginia. Quick investigation indicated that the assigned ship was a Radar Picket Ship¹ (DD-863?) which sailed out of Norfolk, ran around in circles, and went back to Norfolk. (Norfolk was known to sailors as Shit City. There were signs posted there saying Sailors and Dogs Not Allowed.)²

I decided that I did not want to accept this transfer. I approached the other sailors and was told by one of them that I could volunteer for submarine school. He was an ex-submariner who wore his dolphins proudly.

I asked him what submarine service, an impossible question to ask. (Have you ever been asked what a strawberry taste like by someone who has never tasted one? Some strawberries are tart, some are sweet, some taste floury but they all can be identified as strawberries. The answer to the question is impossible to communicate accurately.)

However, he thought for a moment and said, Think of the worst duty you can do. Now think of the best duty you can do. It is both.

I applied for sub school and asked for the orders that had been cut be cancelled. Within a week I was off the New London to submarine school.

I had only been on a submarine once before. During bootcamp, we visited a fleet boat in San Diago. I cannot remember which one. (There were 4 submarines in the US Navy designated as fleet boats. They were The Harder, the Darter, the Trigger, and the Trout. The common derogatory saying was, The Harder, the Darter, the Trigger and the Trout. They never care if they never go out! Or Harder, Darter, Trigger, Trout...Always in, Never out.") I was impressed and liked it but never thought I would serve on one.

The first time I went on board a submarine in New London was on the Sea Owl and immediately felt like it was home. It