A Journey Endured: Fearless, Faithful, and Favor

By Veronica Bedell Brown Ed.D.

A Journey Endured offers an intimate look at an ambitious woman’s journey when cancer invaded her world. Dr. Brown bravely shares her thoughts, struggles, confusions, and joys from diagnosis through treatment. She brazenly invites readers into the most vulnerable time in her life, empowering others to tell their own stories unashamedly. Veronica reveals how she countered mental agony with faith, favor, and a fearless determination to prevail. She endured to boldly tell her inspiring story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665537667

Veronica Bedell Brown Ed.D.

Dr. Brown has always wanted to cement her thoughts to paper. Her first published piece was in 2001 when her noted poem “Gazing at Your Soul” was featured in the International Library of Poetry—Rhyme and Reason. She is also the author of a children’s book series, Cutie Berry & Friends. In addition, Veronica is a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated where public service on the Black community is the primary focus. Filled with humor and a zest for life, this fierce woman was born and raised in the busy city of Queens, New York. This teenage competitor and sports enthusiast later moved to the quiet, still country life in Manchester, Georgia. A stoic yet serious father and an athlete mom whose smile and laugh could brighten any room raised her. She was the youngest of three, and the spunkiest social butterfly of them all. Her collegiate education spans an eclectic style of learning from several institutions. She continued her academic learning at Savannah State College, a Historically Black College, and University in Savannah, Georgia, where she majored in Mass Communications. Her desire to become a news anchor was put on hold when she decided to switch careers in 1993 to become a teacher. Hungry to be the best educator, she tackled her master’s and educational specialist degrees at Cambridge College in Boston, Massachusetts. Still desiring to learn more, she set her goals high to earn a doctorate at Argosy University in California two months before giving birth to her gutsy and energetic daughter in 2003. She has lived in Savannah, Georgia, Fayetteville, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia, Muscat, Oman (Middle East), and Los Angeles, California. Her travel footprints have touched Egypt, Oman, Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Bahrain, Germany, Paris, Puerto Rico, Mexico, and Belgium. She is an electrifying motivator who is currently an elementary principal with twenty-eight years in the game. Her love for service took new heights in 2015 when she set sail to become the founder of the Thanksgiving “Feed Our Community” event in Los Angeles. Since its inception, she and a team of outstanding and committed volunteers have fed over 4200 meals to community members in South Central, Los Angeles. It was her vision that helped to create a Communications and Broadcasting Magnet Center at her school. She desires to see her students become future lead news anchors, a profession she has held dear to her heart. With her ambitious, energetic spirit and cheerful ego, Dr. Veronica Brown is one-of-a-kind.

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© 2022 Veronica Bedell Brown, Ed.D. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-6655-3765-0 (sc)

           978-1-6655-3764-3 (hc)

         978-1-6655-3766-7 (e)

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Published by AuthorHouse 02/01/2023

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Acknowledgments

Preface

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

To My Survivors and Supporters

Dear Cancer

(This memoir is about my journey with breast cancer; therefore, pages 96 and 155 contain images of breasts.)

Pink Gallery Walk of a Journey Endured

Tempted

HELPFUL TIPS

About The Author

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Because success can never occur alone, I owe an enormous debt of appreciation to many people who provided social, emotional, and spiritual support along my journey.

I give praise to God, who blessed me to become a cancer survivor. I proudly sprinkle pink confetti of gratitude to my daughter, who was my biggest champion during the darkest time of my life. Never could I have imagined our lives unfolding so beautifully. Words cannot express how proud I am of you, Victoria. You faced my illness with grace and fearless tenacity. Your ability to triumph personally, academically, and emotionally was inspirational. I am honored that you are my daughter. Never underestimate the greatness you hold within. You were born to shatter the glass ceiling with a godly zest of humility, joy, and fierce resolve. I love you!

To my sister, Felicia, thank you for being the big sister I needed when my world came crashing down. You encouraged me along the journey and made life easier to handle. Your surprise visit to attend my second to last chemo treatment filled my heart with joy. Your desire to bake and cook for my work family and friends while caring for me was impressive. Your support of me was the mental medicine I needed to fight. My love for you is endless.

I am genuinely thankful to my brother, Sidney, for being the doctor I needed when I had many questions. Your expertise and advice as a physician were always reassuring and comforting. Thank you for being by my side in California when I had my double mastectomy. Your presence was monumental. I love you, big bother!

God has blessed me with some incredibly devoted friends. I am beyond grateful to Carolyn, my best friend since our second day in college. Your love and support have meant the world to me over the years. Thank you for caring for me after my surgery and being the ear I needed when times were tough. Mary, Vanessa, and Trina, your love for me will forever reign supreme in my heart. To awaken and see each of you surrounding my hospital bed when I opened my eyes after my double mastectomy is an image I will forever cherish and hold dear in my heart. Thank you for loving me unconditionally.

To all of my Pink Walkers, you freely gave of yourselves to make this journey bearable. A million thanks to Precious, Beverly, Martha, Deborah, Mirna, Chandra, Caprice, Henry, Tracey, Cynthia, Cristina, Janine, Marisol, Aurora, Dennis, Felicia, Nancy, Dee Dee, and Sharon for volunteering to drive and sit with me during my chemo treatments. Melissa, you are an extraordinary friend who blessed me with an encouraging text message every day for fourteen months, never missing a day. Your messages started the first day of my chemo treatment (August 7, 2019) and ended the day after my second reconstruction surgery (September 19, 2020). You never missed a beat, and I humbly thank you.

To every friend from near and far who sent gifts, flowers, balloons, gift cards, cooked food, and prayed for me, my gratitude knows no bounds! In addition, I am forever appreciative for the love shown to me from my Manchester work family, Barrett friends, and my Manchester, Georgia family, who fiercely loved me while remaining positive and continuously supporting me. I will forever appreciate my Aunt Helen, who traveled to California to care for me after my double mastectomy surgery.

Lastly, I am humbly grateful to the Bedell and the Anderson families, who never stop encouraging, loving, and caring for me – thank you! I love each of you dearly.

PREFACE

I stood in the dimly lit room, looking at the T-shirt I had purchased. This shirt was different from any other T-shirt. It was bold yellow and size medium, and it read, Stand up to Cancer.

I remembered, it was the fall of 2008, and I sat in my comfy bed to watch another television fundraiser to stop the spread of cancer forever. The fundraiser was on CBS. I wasn’t thrilled, because I wanted to watch my television show which happened to be on the same channel. As I began watching, it felt different. I became motionless as I watched this team of celebrities come together with a common goal in the name of cancer. I was hooked. They wore these really cute T-shirts that read, Stand up to Cancer, and the shirt had an arrow for the word up. It was fashionable, and I wanted to sport this T-shirt in my show of support. I ran to get my purse. I had an aunt and four cousins who were affected by breast cancer. In the back of my mind, I felt like I would have breast cancer one day, too. Could cancer be a curse that was part of my family? I purchased the shirt. As much as I wanted to wear it, I couldn’t because it said survivor, and I knew I wasn’t a survivor—yet. That shirt would stay in my closet for years—to be exact, five years—just in case I got cancer. I made a bold move one day in 2012 when I decided to put the brakes on my thoughts of getting cancer and give away this T-shirt to a true survivor.

In 2012, one of my best friends was diagnosed with colon cancer, and a year later my other best friend was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I wanted to give one of them my T-shirt, but it was too small. I felt the need to be a supporter. I led prayer groups, food chains, and offered daily support to each of them, and I did it with no desire for recognition. Unfortunately, my two best friends would succumb to their cancers at ages forty-eight and fifty-one in 2014, a month and a half apart.

I decided to give my T-shirt to a teacher friend from school who had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Not only was she the recipient of something I knew to be bigger than a shirt, but her acceptance of the shirt allowed me to be free. Free to breathe! Free to block negative thoughts of cancer! Free to be brave and okay! I felt liberated from years of negative thoughts of becoming a survivor. For years, I had been holding on to the possibility that I would have breast cancer one day instead of truly living life. Releasing the T-shirt made me live life again. Giving this gift to her made me truly free and happy!

CHAPTER ONE

I knew the summer was going to be amazing. I was a single parent raising a soon-to-be sixteen-year-old daughter. I had planned to go out of town to relax while my daughter was away attending a nine-day UCLA camp for medicine and science. Back in January of 2019, I took a second job with Uber to help pay for this nearly five-thousand-dollar experience. I had to do what I had to do without tapping into my savings. These nine days would be my moment to debrief and breathe. I booked reservations at the Marriott Resort in Palm Springs—alone. It would be my first getaway in thirteen years. I wanted to connect with God and receive direction for my life. I needed to get away. I needed to prioritize my future because my daughter would be entering her junior year in high school. I was a single mother of thirteen years, an elementary principal, a sister, a best friend, an aunt, a therapist, a counselor, a lawyer, and many other titles. This getaway came at the perfect time and was just what I needed. School was out, and my last day at work was June 25, which was eleven days before my vacation.

I enjoyed all three days at the Marriott Resort. I wasn’t questioned by anyone and I didn’t have to argue with a teenager! Every night I happily ordered room service, sat by the pool, read a book, listened to music, watched television, and enjoyed myself, and it felt good. I felt rejuvenated. On Saturday, I came back to my quiet home. No daughter, no questions, no can I have or can I go or can you take me. Just me. It felt different, but I kind of liked it. I walked around the house and stared at the many pictures on the walls. I was proud of the job I had done as a single mother. I was happy and genuinely thankful for everything. I had two more years, and then I would be free to do as I chose. That night, I went to Baskin Robins to get two scoops of their Nutty Coconut ice cream. It was going to be a wonderful night. To add to my bliss, I was going to watch television. I hadn’t had the opportunity to catch up on my soap operas or comedies, but tonight was my opportunity to watch my favorite. I showered and got cozy in one of my favorite lingerie sets; I always sleep in beautiful lingerie. Then I grabbed my ice cream, turned on my DVR, and scrolled straight to Power. I was an entire season behind, and I was going to binge-watch as many episodes as I could before my daughter returned from UCLA.

After watching an episode, I had finished eating both scoops of my ice cream. During a commercial break, I marveled at my cute new bra. I touched my bra and then brushed my hand across my breast. Immediately, I felt a lump in my right breast. I tried to continue to watch the show, but I couldn’t. I touched it again and again. I laid down in the bed to make sure that I indeed felt a lump, and I confirmed the obvious: I had a lump in my right breast. I prayed that it would be a benign mass. I turned off the television and tossed and turned in bed. I continued to tell myself, Do not be afraid. It is just a benign mass. I turned on my favorite gospel song, He Knows My Name by Tasha Cobbs, and then I began to doze.

I woke up Sunday morning and considered going to urgent care, but I figured it would be better to go Monday morning. I met my cousin, who was visiting from Atlanta, Georgia, at a restaurant in Redondo Beach for lunch. I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t want to alarm him because I didn’t know what that lump meant either—although, in the back of my head, I knew exactly what it was, or at least what I hoped it wasn’t. We ate lunch, laughed, and had a great time. He and his friend came back to my house, and we had the best of laughs. I didn’t think about the lump and began to believe it was a benign mass. After all, I’d had four cysts removed over twenty years ago, two from each breast. After my cousin and his friend left to return to Georgia, I watched another episode of Power which was so intense and thrilling that it kept my mind off the lump. I was in the world of Power, and it felt great!

It was Monday morning, July 1. I showered and headed to Kaiser to place my name on the urgent care list. I was number three on the list. I expected to be number one or two. I went back home and watched This Morning News on CBS until 8:20. I ate a cheese toast and drank my normal twenty-two ounces of water. Time passed quickly, and soon I headed back to urgent care. My name was called and I waited in line. A nurse called me back to see the doctor about twenty minutes later. I wasn’t nervous; I simply wanted to know. The nurse sat me down and took my temperature, blood pressure, and weight. Great numbers as usual. She took me into the exam room and told me to undress from the waist up, adding that the doctor would be in shortly. I sat and waited while checking emails, reading Joel Olsten’s daily word, and then scrolling through my photos on my phone. I had been out for summer break for only four days, and I was in a doctor’s office. The doctor knocked softly, and I said, Come in, with a cheerful tone. He came in and greeted me with a smile. I smiled in return.

Good morning. How can I help you today? he said. I told him that I felt a lump in my right breast. Let me get my nurse to assist with an exam, he said. The nurse came in and the doctor asked me to show him where I felt the lump. I removed my gown and showed him exactly where the lump was. He felt the lump and reached in his coat pocket. He pulled out a small measuring tape, measured it, and recorded his findings. A tear welled in my eyes, and one fell down my face, prompting the nurse to give me a tissue. I think I should give you ten minutes to get yourself together, and I will come back. It’s going to be okay, the doctor said.

As soon as they left, I fell to the floor and started crying. I looked at the mirror on the back of the door and said, I have cancer! No, this can’t be! Tears streamed down my face, and I couldn’t catch my breath. I started breathing heavier and heavier. I was numb. Still. Breathless. I felt like I was going to fall apart. I placed my hands over my face and continued to cry with disbelief! About a minute later, I wiped my face and prayed to God that this was just a benign mass and everything would be fine.

I called my spiritual friend, Precious, and she heard me crying. I told her that I was at the doctor, I had found a lump, and the doctor had confirmed it. She heard my hysterical voice and tears, and she said in a