Checklist: Marriage Solemnisation & Wedding Ceremony According to Malay Customs & Beliefs

By SSkarno

As a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, every bridal couple would want the best for their special day that will be graced with the beautiful traditions of Malay cultural heritage.
Between the past and having the ceremony in the new norm, once again, do not be disheartened as it is hoped that you will bring with you the knowledge to share about the traditional Malay wedding and its heritage that needs to be preserved for the next generation, in spite of the need to live with the new normal.
Life, while riding the wave of massive technological advancement, will not be colourful without the bouquets of colorful flowers that will bring meaning to life.
May you continue to bring the beautiful Malay heritage to the ends of time and etch the glory of traditional customs in the minds of the subsequent generations.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Feb 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9781543767902

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 SSKARNO. All rights reserved.

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without the written permission of the publisher except in the case

of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

www.partridgepublishing.com/singapore

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

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ISBN

978-1-5437-6789-6 (sc)

978-1-5437-6791-9 (hc)

978-1-5437-6790-2 (e)

02/17/2022

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(refD212)

The photographs presented in this book are courtesy of

Muhammad Razlan Bin Mohd Zakaria

and

Nurul Aeiyuni Husna Bte Haji Bakri

This little book is special gift for

Yuni and Erfan,

always in my heart.

Contents

1. Prologue

2. Getting to Know (Merisik)

3. Propose @Meminang

4. Engagement (Pertunangan)

4.1 Taboos During Engagement

5. Check list for Marriage Solemnisation Ceremony

6. Wedding Dais (Pelamin)

7. Wedding Gifts (Dulang Hantaran)

8. The bride with the trays of gifts that form part of the hantaran that she received.

9. Henna Or Inai

10. Exchange of rings

11. A Beautiful and Picturesque Moment

12. Sachet of Assorted Flowers (Bunga Rampai)

13. Bouquet of Wedding Favours (Bunga Pahar)

14. Betel Leaves Flower Arrangement (Sirih Dara or Sirih Junjung)

15. Tepung Tawar

15.1 An example of a tepung tawar paraphernalia.

15.2 The Bridal Couple in Tepung Tawar Ritual

16. Beat of the Kompang

17. Martial Arts and Dance (Silat dan Tarian)

18. Role Of Bunga Manggar

19. Wedding Ceremony

20. Wedding Reception

20.1 Yellow Glutinous Rice (Pulut Kuning)

21. Wedding Favours or Doorgifts (Berkat)

22 . Customary Practice of Showing Respect (Adat Menyembah)

23 . Epilogue

1. Prologue

This book is not meant to discuss or deliberate on the wedding traditions of the various ethnic groups affiliated to the Malays; or within the Malay community itself.

This book is meant to be a checklist that can be used as a guide for your planning, preparation and organisation of a traditional wedding that usually comprise of the marriage solemnisation ceremony and the main wedding event.

This book could be like a recipe that can help you or be a reminder to you about the ingredients or mixtures that will be needed in preparing a dish. When you leave out or missed an ingredient, you can enjoy your dish, but it will not be as savoury!

Consider this book as a compendium that documents the past and present practices of the traditional Malay wedding. In line with this consideration, this brief and concise reference will ensure that you will not leave out any elements, no matter how small, to maintain the sanctity and integrity of the traditional Malay wedding.

It may not be something which has been ordained by law or religion; but it will definitely enliven and add colours to a ceremony that will be a historic moment, time and day.

As many would have known, you will be attending your wedding ceremony as the King of the Day, or Raja Sehari. This august day will be the measure of a new historic period in your life!

The era of the Pioneer generation has passed, and it paved the way for the educated Merdeka generation.

This Merdeka generation is not just a generation that has a grounded experience in life, but it has savoured the bitterness and sweetness in life; experienced many ups and down, went through many life journeys and upheavals in terms of education, culture and technology.

In addition, to balance that experience with various drastic changes amidst developments around the world, was not easy.

There were many spiritual and intellectual responsibilities that needed to be shouldered to stabilise acceptance and understanding.

The Merdeka generation were the patrons and leaders of customary practices and traditions that were inherited from preceding generations. Henceforth, it has been their duty to propel customary practices towards elevating the values and culture of living in today’s world.

The strength of their inspiration should influence the mindset of the children of the millennium that are better educated, more open-minded and aligned to the idea that Malay customary practices will not be discontinued, to be consumed by time. No matter how minute, the spark of customary practices that has been inherited will not be doused and will continually fulfil the needs of prevailing circumstances.

In this COVID-19 pandemic that has affected all of us, there has been a change in the habits and lifestyles of everyone around the world, no matter where they are.

The COVID-19 pandemic has challenged us to adapt our methods and change our lifestyles. New manners in the new norm.

Everyone is obliged to abide with the safety measures, to prioritise and be responsible for ourselves as well as those around us whom we love. Henceforth, we begin an era of new norms in life. We have been encouraged to habituate and acculturate to the new norm as part of our life.

The same goes for all matters relating to matrimony in our society. As a way to stem the spread of COVID-19, several measures were introduced and these measures included the plans for a wedding ceremony. Couples due to be married has been affected and given the option of having the ceremony conducted via online video conferencing so as not to delay the wedding ceremony that has already been planned.

In the event that you miss the traditional atmosphere of the Malay wedding enveloped with the scent of the bunga rampai (sachets of assorted flowers), hugs of joy and handshakes of gratitude, it does not matter.

Minimally, the foremost matter that is compulsory in religion has been fulfilled.

Even so, let’s not forget to continue the story of our traditions that have been left to us to pass on to our next and subsequent generations.

And now, with the prevailing COVID-19 pandemic, only 10 persons are permitted to attend the marriage solemnisation ceremony and that they have to abide with the safe distancing measures to reduce the risk of infection.

Following these requirements imposed for a simple event, the prospective bridal couple will have to change their plans.

As a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, every bridal couple would want the best for their special day that will be graced with the beautiful traditions of Malay cultural heritage.

Between the past and having the ceremony in the new norm, once again, do not be disheartened as it is hoped that you will bring with you the knowledge to share about the traditional Malay wedding and its heritage that needs to be preserved for the next generation, in spite of the need to live with the new normal.

Life, while riding the wave of massive technological advancement, will not be colourful without the bouquets of colorful flowers that will bring meaning to life.

May you continue to bring the beautiful Malay heritage to the ends of time and etch the glory of traditional customs in the minds of the subsequent generations.

Therefore, the information collected in this book of a checklist is expected to complement your source of reference.

It functions like a journal and helps you to prepare yourself mentally for a marriage solemnisation and wedding.

It starts from the customary rites of the merisik, or courtship, to the custom of mohon sembah-sembah or congratulatory salutations.

In addition, it informs about the practices that need to be highlighted for such a meaningful ceremony related to the customary practice of having the sirih junjung or sirih dara, bunga rampai and tepung tawar.

To some extent, these customary practices will enliven and complement your wedding ceremony.

It certainly carries both a literal