Vampire in the Attic: Retired Vampire Mysteries, #4

By Phoebe Matthews

It has been a surprise to me to discover how rapidly an interest in something expands from a hobby to a profession. I am now an unpaid detective. Self employed. I don't need more income. I need excitement, a career, a business to run, anything to stop me from sitting in front of my television set and letting my brain rot.

Did I remember to mention I am a vampire?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Phoebe Matthews
• Release date: Jan 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201007591

Phoebe Matthews

Phoebe Matthews is currently writing three urban fantasy series. Her novels have been published by Avon, Dark Quest, Dell, Holt, LostLoves, Putnam, Silhouette, and Scholastic.

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Vampire in the Attic

Retired Vampire mysteries, book 4

PHOEBE MATTHEWS

LostLoves Books

Copyright © Phoebe Matthews

Cover Design Copyright ©  LostLoves Books

This is a work of fiction. With the exception of well-known historical personages, any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. All Rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author.

CHAPTER  1

Did you know there are thieves who specialize in robbing attics? Me, neither. But now I do.

Eleanore, Anne Henley said, as she pushed past me and settled herself on my couch, Did Zoey tell you what he stole?

What who stole?

The thief who got into our attic. Zoey promised she would report it to the police. Didn’t she tell you?

Anne is the sort of tenant Dominic says we should encourage to stay. She  pays her rent smack on time every month. I remind him that she also complains constantly that the other renters do not wash out the laundry machines and they hang things to dry on the overhead lines in the basement soaking wet so they drip on her when she walks by.

Occasionally she needs a burned out light bulb in a ceiling fixture replaced but that’s about it. Dominic can replace a light bulb in less than a minute and adds the cost of the bulb to her bill.

Sure, she complained so I told her to get a step ladder and change the bulbs herself. She backed down and agreed she should pay for the bulbs if I would change them. Honestly, Eleanore, she isn’t like some of our women renters. She does not carry on long conversations and bat her eyelids at me.

Poor dear you. You’re saying women flirt with you? Try to win you away from Zoey?

No, of course not. They try to talk me into repainting their apartments or replacing their ovens, stuff like that. I tell them I can hire someone to do painting for them and will add the cost to their rent. Same goes for new appliances of any sort.

Dominic and Zoey live in the apartment next to mine.  Although they have good jobs elsewhere, they manage the bookkeeping of the building. Fortunately. Math and I have never been friends.

None of the above is what I started out to tell you. Back to my original question. Do you know there are thieves who specialize in robbing attics? Neither did I, not until one robbed Anne Henley. I had possibly missed this news because attics have never been a place I hang out.

That’s one of Dominic’s favorite phrases, ‘hang out.’ True, in our Chicago years a century ago, people did that, spent their free time in crowded bars drinking illegal liquor with their friends. Back then Dominic was a charming young human who tap danced on stage while I took a break from singing. Again I digress.

To get back to the attics where I don’t hang out, they exist in city apartment buildings. The main purpose of an apartment building attic is to give access to the roof, a place that seriously needs access for repair of damage caused by storms and wind and plain old age related wear. The attic is above the top floor of apartments. In our building tenants use empty corners of the attic for luggage or for trunks filled with whatever.

Zoey was gone when I got up, I said to Anne. Of course she was. Vampires don’t wake until sunset, not that I would say so to Anne who, like all the tenants except Zoey, have no idea that Dominic and I are vampires. What was stolen?

My heavy winter coat, the green wool one that hangs almost to my ankles. It takes up so much space in my closet I store it in the attic the rest of the year.

You hang your coat in the attic?

She scowled, as much as a properly brought up woman allows herself to scowl. Of course not. I keep it in a trunk I have up there. I went up to get my coat yesterday because heaven knows, winter is on the way, and that’s when I discovered my coat has been stolen.

How terrible. Well, if Zoey told you she’d report it to the police, then she did. She’s very dependable.

I know that. I’m not complaining about Zoey. I just hoped she had some information for me from the police.

All right, dear. I’ll remind her to phone you when she gets home.

The city where I live is filled with apartment buildings. Renters and owners like to store seldom used items in the attics.  Who wants skis, bicycles, Halloween costumes, guitars, sleds, tennis rackets, skates, artificial Christmas trees or other large items used seasonally to clog up their small apartments? Nobody wants that, right along with not wanting those items stolen.

When Zoey returned home I asked her Anne’s question.

Yup, I stopped by and had a chat with a couple nice cops. What I learned from the police department about attics and their attraction for thieves is this. Thieves love that attitude about storing out of season stuff in attics. Ninety-nine percent of the time tenants store stuff during the day and repairmen work during the day. That makes it easy for thieves to get themselves across rooftops and through an attic door after dark and have the place to themselves all night. That gives them lots of time to sort through everything. They look for anything saleable.

Really? Thieves in the attic?

True, we’ve had a few thefts in my building, including a couple of thieves who broke into the apartment of people who were out of town and were spotted by a neighbor who called the police. Those thieves are not a problem for us. They are in prison.

A couple others tried to rob my apartment and ended up jumping out a window. Their only gain was bruises when they landed on the concrete sidewalk.

Anne Henley rents a one bedroom on the third floor. The one bedroom apartments are limited to one closet. I luck out on that feature with my one bedroom apartment because I have a fair size kitchen, a room no vampire needs. My kitchen is filled with shelves full of shoes and hats and anything else I don’t want taking up space in my bedroom or living room.

It can’t be a tenant who stole Anne’s coat, Zoey said. We know them all. Even Anne never suggested that the thief might be a tenant. They are an honest bunch and friends with each other. Besides, no one could walk through the building wearing Anne’s coat. Whoever stole her coat has to be an outsider. A stranger, probably.

Oh, I am sure the police are right. But what can we do?

Ah. Zoey is a lovely young woman who never complains  although tonight she looks exhausted. She works for a company that does numerous jobs for theaters, from importing lighting fixtures to finding qualified people to construct scenery. They get rush jobs when a theater has an unanticipated problem. Those jobs require Zoey and others on the staff to work overtime. Tonight she looks as though she’s had one of those difficult days.

I can start by getting my wine and that will help me think, she said.

You stretch out on the couch and I’ll be right back with your wine, dear.

It took me a couple minutes to get a glass out of the only cupboard with wine glasses in it, all for Zoey, and a bottle of wine out of my refrigerator which only holds wine bottles, again, only for Zoey. When I returned to the front room with a glass of her favorite wine, she grinned at me.

I thought of what we need to do first. We need to have Dom put a strong inside lock on the attic door.

He wandered in while she sipped her wine and heard her say his name. Hi, darling. If you’re talking about me, I hope you’re saying something nice.

No, I’m telling Eleanore about my other boyfriend.

Is he as useful as me?

He’s no use at all which is why we need you. Someone got into the attic and stole a coat.

Our attic? When did this happen?

I don’t suppose Anne Henley knows. She went up to get her winter coat out of her trunk and discovered it is gone.

There must be better stuff up there than a coat. In fact there is. Stuff in plain sight, like expensive golf sets.

We aren’t discussing the value of the coat. We are trying to think of a way to keep thieves out of the attic and by golly, here you are. Just what I need, a smart boyfriend. She gave him a knockout smile and added, That’s because you are actually the only boyfriend I’ve got. One’s enough. Here’s the deal. A thief got into the attic, probably by climbing from an adjacent roof, according to the police, and we need you to figure a way to discourage that sort of behavior.

Seems like an odd way to make a living, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. If they steal anything large, like a bike, how do they carry it away?

Maybe that’s why they steal soft stuff like a wool coat. If they can’t resist something hard, like a bike, they might toss it off the roof and hope it isn’t wrecked in the fall. It’s not like they paid for it.

All right, darling, remember not to walk too close to the building. Come home now and we can talk about this thief problem while you eat. Your supper is ready.

My supper is what? Zoey exclaimed. Like me, Dominic is a vampire so of course he doesn’t prepare food.

Surprise, darling. I am so clever I learned on the internet that complete meals can be ordered and picked up from a number of restaurants. This evening I drove to that Chinese restaurant you like and voila! Your dinner is waiting for you in our kitchen.

They wandered out, each with an arm around the other’s waist and Zoey carrying her half empty glass of wine. She is a tall, slender young woman with a lovely face and smile, plus long red hair. Dominic is quite a bit taller, dark haired, and like most males he adores red hair on women.

It wasn’t until after they left that I remembered my promise to Anne Henley about having Zoey phone her. Instead, I rang her number. It was a boring conversation but I did it rather than bother Zoey who would be having supper now. I phoned Anne and told her what the police said about attic thieves.

I suppose that means it won’t be safe for any of us to store things in the attic. Not if the thieves have time to sort through trunks. Putting a lock on my trunk can’t help. They would have time to break it off. Good grief, what am I supposed to do with everything I have up there? I don’t have a single extra inch of room in my apartment.

No one does, I said. Dominic is working on the problem, trying to find a way to keep thieves out.

I hope he finds an answer. I called my insurance man and he said my policy doesn’t cover coats. Believe me, I will be looking for another insurance company. Well, if that’s all you can do for me, Eleanore, I must run. I hear my soup boiling over, she said, and hung up.

Before anyone else finds time to phone me and slow me down I grabbed my purse and keys and headed out to my car. With Zoey feasting on Chinese noodles and Anne having homemade soup, my stomach demanded I get supper for myself. Some nights that’s more exciting than other nights.

CHAPTER 2

My meal can’t be ordered from a restaurant. It requires me to find a nice man, usually in a parking lot, and lead him off to my car where my fangs do the rest.

This is easier than it