What Went Wrong: My Journey to the Priesthood and Beyond

By Montfort Mwalija

The book is my memoirs covering the first thirty years of my life; a life full of drama to be shared with the world. It explores my youth and call to the priesthood; life in the minor seminary, the change I underwent from a troublemaker to a quite boy on the road to priesthood. The ideas that influenced me in the major seminary, how I reflected on them and changed me. How I became suspicious with the world of ideas preferring the pragmatism of science.

The experience I had during pastoral work at parishes how it had a bearing on my vocation. The conflicts and confusion I experienced while on my journey. I also talk about the relevance of religion and faith now.

Life in the University and how I was different; the struggles, the joys and relationships I had and how they influenced me. Experienced a nervous breakdown under very suspicious circumstances. How I came to relate to and marry a special girl.

The book also exposes my philosophy about life and faith.

The book gives the following lessons:
A young open mind can easily be influenced by ideas in spite of their truthfulness and practicality to life.
The call to the priesthood is not for everyone and is special; if one is not called, no matter how one perseveres, will never succeed. Discerning your vocation is not easy and is a personal journey.
Our faith needs to be questioned and make it relevant to our life and our faith leaders should at times be taken to task.
Not everything about our faith is holy.
Our faith and political leaders sometimes form unholy alliances.
Some things in life are not as they seem.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Montfort Mwalija
• Release date: Jan 11, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005162610

Book preview

what went wrong

What Went Wrong

My Journey to the Priesthood and Beyond

Montfort Mwalija

Copyright © 2021 Montfort Mwalija

Published by Montfort Mwalija Publishing at Smashwords

First edition 2021

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system without permission from the copyright holder.

The Author has made every effort to trace and acknowledge sources/resources/individuals. In the event that any images/information have been incorrectly attributed or credited, the Author will be pleased to rectify these omissions at the earliest opportunity.

Montfort Mwalija

[e-mail]

Table of Contents

About the Author

Foreword

1. The Early Years

2. Time to Start School

3. Life as a Minor Seminarian

4. The Brother and the Enlightment

5. Some Remarkable People in My Life

6. First Pastoral Experience

7. Second Year at Kachebere

8. Second Pastoral Experience

9. The Crisis and Confusion

10. Time to Leave

11. Out in the Real World

12. The Last Two Years at Chanco

13. Working Life and Marriage

About the Author

Montfort Mwalija is a Malawian retired rehabilitation officer born on 20 October 1959 in Mwango village T/A Mkhumba now Jenala in Phalombe district near Lake Chirwa. He grew up in Mulanje North and did his primary education at Kamwendo F.P. School. He developed an ambition to become a Catholic priest so in September 1976 he joined Pius XII Seminary where he did his secondary school education. He entered Kachebere Major Seminary in October 1980 to study philosophy, psychology and the Bible (Old Testament). He left Kachebere in 1983 and joined the University of Malawi Chancellor College where he studied science education. He finished with analytical chemistry and biology, graduating in 1988. His family moved to Mangochi in 1985. He was posted to Soche Hill Secondary School in Blantyre where he taught biology, physical science and junior mathematics for four years.

In 1992 he joined the Malawi Council for the Handicapped. He was sent to study the management of rehabilitation services in 1992 and 1993 in London in the UK by Sight Savers International. He started by working with persons with visual impairment and later persons with general disabilities at various levels, finishing as programme manager. He retired in October 2019 after 27 years of dedicated service to persons with disabilities. He has been attracted to writing since his Kachebere days.

Foreword

I am writing this book to share my early life with the world. I am not writing as a philosopher, psychologist, theologian, historian or an expert in any field. I am just sharing my early life with ordinary people: what I was, experiences I had, what I thought, what I felt, what I believed in, what strongly influenced me and my reflections on some crucial issues. So when you read this, you will not only be reading about my life but you will also embark on a journey into the inner sections of my mind as I have taken the risk of exposing myself. However I have been influenced by the disciplines above. In this book you will see somebody struggling with not only his vocation, but also his faith.

The book roughly covers the period between 1962 and 1989 which is age four to age thirty; the time I was growing up.

You will notice that in the book, I sometimes use the three words; religion, Christianity and Catholicism inter-changeably. This is because the words are very close in that Christianity is one of the biggest religions in the world and Catholicism is one of the biggest Christian religions in the world. It becomes tempting therefore to substitute religion with Christianity and Catholicism with Christianity. I also fail to be very objective because I can’t get away from my Catholic roots.

The book talks about the Church and seminary life, it should be read in the context of the years between 1980 and 1990. Remember the church is not static but dynamic and so what is in this book does not necessarily reflect the church now. However we do see our prophetic insight into the current situation (current problems) in the church whose seeds were sown then.

The book will be cherished by seminarians, those responsible for their formation, their parents and can be enjoyed by everybody; belivers and non-believers alike. Seminarians and ex-seminarians will be able to identify with me.

Chapter One

The Early Years

My mother Anna was born near Namulenga in Chiradzulu district in 1939. In 1945 after the death of Elias Mpeketula, my mom’s father and my grandfather, the family moved to Lake Chirwa, Phalombe, then in Mulanje district. The families that moved were of my grandmother and her sister Monosire, then Mrs Nangwiya. They left behind my mother’s elder sister Mrs Kalivata who had married in Chiradzulu. They settled at Mwango village in T/A Mkhumba now T/A Jenala. The village is only 3 kms from Lake Chirwa. Their houses were the last before the marshes of Lake Chirwa called Chikaonga. My mom was about six years of age then. Four years later, while in Phalombe, they were to experience the worst hunger of all time in 1949.

Mother got married in 1956 to my father Gusto Mwamadi Mwalija, a local from Njobvu village. My brother Cornelius was born in 1957. I was born two years later on 20 October 1959 in our hut. Our sister Tanazia was born in 1961. When I was born, my grandmother had already passed on. She had six children, my mother being the third born. Four children were fathered by my grandfather Elias Mpeketula in Chiradzulu. While at Phalombe, grandmother remarried and bore Uncle Hillary, a half-brother to mom. They were separated later and grandma married a third time and bore a baby girl before she passed on.

However, an elder sister to my grandmother lived long enough for me to see her. She was called Monosire which literally means‘she has just seen day break’ in Lomwe.

We were advised not to go to her house and we feared her as she was believed to be a witch in our clan, she was accused of all sorts of things which we believed then.

I do not remember much about the early years before 1962 as I was barely four years old, but I can still recollect a few events and things. I do remember that Mother did some business; she would prepare maize flour and rice which she sold to fishermen at the lake. She would leave me at home with my brother Cornelius and the other children. Cornelius used to bully me quite a lot and I would regularly sit on the veranda of our hut, crying and waiting for mother to come.

In 1962 my family moved to Dzanje which is halfway between Lake Chirwa, were I was born, and where we lived after the separation of my parents, Kokholiwa village in Mulanje North. I remember there was this lorry which came to take us and our belongings to Dzanje.

While at Dzanje between 1962 and 1964, we befriended a family and we freely spent time at their house. They had a daughter who was much older than us and we used to play with her and she treated us quite well. The husband had previously worked in Salisbury now Harare in Southern Rhodesia. He had a record player called a gramophone which was played by someone winding it. We would spend a lot of time listening to records.

Around 1964 I was taken to visit my auntie at Namitambo in Chiradzulu. She had remained there when the family moved to Lake Chirwa because her husband Phillip Kalivata was reluctant to move with her to Phalombe. Two of her youngest sisters stayed with her.

It was while there that I met the Khalabwinos. Mrs Khalabwino was a sister to my grandfather i.e. a paternal auntie to my mother. She was a good woman who was happy to have us around. The husband was different, always accusing us of mischief even when we had done nothing wrong. He particularly disliked me, the boy from Phalombe. I don’t remember how long I stayed at Namitambo but when I returned home, I found that my family had moved to the same village where Uncle Alf had married, Kokholiwa village. I also discovered that father was not around – apparently my parents had separated and we were to lead a slightly different life.

Soon after, my auntie Mrs Kalivata died and my two aunties and her three boys came to join us in Phalombe. We referred to our home as being in Phalombe because we were near Phalombe River. The eldest son was Patrick, then came Nathaniel and the baby brother William who died less than a year later.

Chapter Two

Time to Start School

This period is from 1966 to 1976. A key person in our life after moving to Kokholiwa village was Uncle Alf. He was a very strict man who would punish without mercy and without considering what he was doing to you. Sometimes I could not understand his intentions and he could be unreasonable. He was an enigma to me.

Absence from school meant a beating. I remember that whenever he came home, peace was no more and all of us children would run away and hide. None of us kids dared to greet him. But I know that without him, I would be nothing in my life. I thank God for him as I would never have gone to school if it wasn’t for him. Even the breakup of my parent’s marriage was a blessing in disguise as he took care of me after that.

Still he is a man I never really came to like. I remember in ’67 I burnt a hole in my brother shorts in retaliation for him damaging my tee-shirt. Unfortunately, I did not put out all the fire and the shorts kept on smouldering, before catching fire. When he was told, he came a few days later. He had his ways of punishing children: He would ask you to get a stick and then use it to beat you. He did the same on that particular day and beat me like a snake, and he then tied my hands with grass and set the grass on fire. Until now I don’t know if he really meant to burn my hands but I was rescued by a neighbour. I ran into the bush and came back late at night when I was sure he had gone. I noted that Uncle did not like me much and that he preferred my brother Cornelius, being the oldest. It was only later in life with my success in education that he begun to like me.

I started school together with Cornelius and Cousin Patrick in 1966 at Mwanga Primary School on the urging of Uncle Alf. Unfortunately for us, the school was very far from home and we were late most of the time and not allowed to attend classes. Sometimes we would go to Dzanje (a place we had moved from to Kokholiwa) and would return home in the evening. Eventually, we could not cope and we dropped out of school to the displeasure of my uncle.

In 1967 a new school started near home at Kamwendo village and it had Standard 1 to 3 with one teacher, Mr Matthias. The school closed down after the second term and we were out of school again. It reopened in 1968 with a bigger number of teachers and has remained open up to this day.

In 1969 I was taken into the care of my youngest uncle Hillary, a half-brother to my mom at Sambani near Mlomba. I never liked the idea of leaving my mom and I did not like it at my uncle’s. His wife, my auntie, was a good woman who treated me well. Whenever uncle was away, she would take me to sleep in their bedroom. I loved this for I was always afraid to sleep alone in the visitor’s