Because It Didn't Kill Me...: An Inspirational Story of Triumph

By Christine Hermann

It should have killed her. Time stopped. Life seemed to freeze. One sunny December afternoon, while eagerly awaiting her 13th birthday, and all that is entailed during this next stage of her life, author experiences a nearly fatal accident, so traumatic, it should have killed her. Relying on her faith in God, she struggles to overcome the many o

• Language: English
• Publisher: Baylin Books
• Release date: Sep 10, 2015
• ISBN: 9780996210133

Christine Hermann

This is Christine Hermann'ssecond children's book, teaching children the values of numbers introduced in her first children's book, The Number Factory.

Book preview

Disclaimer

I clearly remember the day I was denied permanent disability.  It was because I hold a Master’s degree. However, having higher education credentials didn’t shelter me from having a disability that limits some of my functioning. What followed was heart-wrenching frustration over being misunderstood and I was beside myself with tears. I was trying to obtain assistance so I could be retrained in another skill set, hopefully to become successful and live an enjoyable life, and I was turned away.

Because It Didn’t Kill Me… was born from that overwhelming frustration. I wanted someone to understand my situation and show a little empathy and give me a chance.

As you read this book, you will notice slight imperfections and what appear to be grammatical errors and redundancies. Against the advice of several literary professionals and colleagues, I chose to publish this story exactly as written, as someone who survived a traumatic brain injury (TBI). I chose not to edit the imperfections, but instead to give the reader firsthand experience of what it is like for someone living with a TBI to think, organize, and express thoughts, ideas, and information.

The style of my writing reflects challenges I live with every day. I didn’t allow those challenges to prevent me from going on to graduate school and ultimately I wouldn’t let them stop me from becoming a writer.

I offer this book on behalf of all those who live with the repercussions of TBI. My hope is that as the world begins to understand TBI, there will be fewer misunderstandings and we will no longer be misjudged, but accepted as viable human beings and contributing members of society.

The majority of facts included have been shared with me so if there are errors of any kind, please accept my apology, as the mistakes are entirely mine. Please remember duplication or use of the information contained within this book may be done with my (Christine Hermann) express approval only. Thank you for your understanding and support.

Testimonial/Endorsements:

Because It Didn’t Kill Me…, by Christine Hermann

Tragedy, like fate, intrudes when it chooses, disrupting and destroying life when least expected. Christine’s personal story of her return from death’s door, and her struggles to recover from a near fatal cranial injury, paint a picture human resilience. A riveting telling of sudden devastation, monumental courage, deep-seated faith, and undying spirit, her story of recovery is a living memoir to the power of the human spirit. It is a must read for anyone dealing with severe physical or mental trauma, whether inflicted on themselves or a loved one. - Bill Blowers – Author

Christine’s book is a true testament to her will and determination to survive. She never gave up. She is unbroken. - Sally Prier, Executive Assistant, NBC Universal

What makes for a successful recovery from traumatic injury or debilitating disease? This is the question that my nonprofit support charity, The Forged by Fire Foundation (www.forgedbyfirefoundation.org) tries to answer with each new challenging recovery we come across. It means taking the adversity, pain and suffering caused by injury and turning it into a force for healing, improvement, success and inspiration to others. Few people I have met over the last 10 years of work encompass these ideas better than Christine Hermann. In her book, Because it didn’t Kill Me…, Christine lays down in painful but poignant detail the journey she has and continues to travel as a traumatic injury and TBI survivor. I highly recommend this book to anyone facing the challenges of recovering from injury or disease or who are looking for inspiration from stories of courage and perseverance in the face of great challenge. - Kevin Korenthal, Founder, Forged by Fire

Kevin D. Korenthal is the founder and executive director of the Forged By Fire Foundation, a 501(c)(3) charity dedicated to coming alongside survivors of traumatic injury and debilitating disease to provide the mentorship, services and products necessary for the best possible recovery and a more active lifestyle going forward.

When I first met Christine in my book coaching course, I knew there was something special about her. She asked to be a part of my advanced authors’ course, even though she hadn't yet written her book. I knew in my heart that she had a place in this group.

Because It Didn't Kill Me… begins with a recount of challenges overcome in Christine's first years of life and then a chilling description of the accident that by all rights, should have killed her. It's a story of survival and her determination to embrace the quality of life each of us deserves. Christine not only reached out and grabbed the big brass ring; but also she searched for and discovered the buried treasure within her. She shares this treasure with the world in her memoir. I am inspired by Christine Hermann and look forward to watching her continue to fulfill her dreams. - Judith Cassis, CHt

Introduction

"I do not recall the day, nor do I remember the time of year. I remember being in shorts, no shoes, no socks and hanging out at the doorstep of Diane’s house. I remember Jennifer S. and Jennifer J. were there but not sure about Deneigh D. You and I began arguing or maybe just teasing each other about something. I’m not sure why but I began chasing you.

In my mind, I see you running down the driveway and I can see the retaining wall with the big green bushes that separated the house to the left. You were wearing a yellow sweat top and sweat pants. When you reach the bottom of the driveway and I was still running after you.

It happened in a flash. But it almost seemed as though you saw the car before it hit you. You seemed to turn to your left, just from the waist. However, it was too late. Time stopped and life seemed to freeze for an instant.

Everything stopped and felt like slow motion. I heard the sound of the collision of the car with you, the brakes, and the tires. The smashing of the metal against your tiny body was loud, but I can’t explain the sound—it was crushing, tied with rubber tires screeching and skidding to a stop.

You were airborne. I can’t remember if I heard your body when it finally landed, but the image in my mind is of you flying in the air but not landing. The only way I can explain it is that you looked like a yellow pillow flying through the air.

The car stopped, but I don’t remember the type of car or color, only that you were laying in the street. I ran to where you landed and heard the other girls scream.

You were on your back, looking up, eyes wide open, but not moving, not talking. Everything seems to blur out. A moment in time escapes me because all I remember is the ambulance and paramedics showing up on the scene. I don’t remember being asked anything or talking to anyone. Only that, minutes after I began chasing you, you were gone."

Shawn White-childhood friend

Acknowledgements

This book would not be possible if it were not for the many people that God has placed in my life.

My family is the most important, I am very grateful for all their support. My mom especially, who stayed by my side in a hospital for two weeks to ensure that I, her baby, was safe and has continued to be my biggest advocate. My dad, who managed to stay strong for his family despite his world seeming to fall apart, and my brother who supported me then and continues to support me as we travel through life in our adult years.

All the doctors that took such good care of me, beginning with Dr. Gary Berry, who made sure that I was provided the care I needed to survive., and the late Dr. Marvin Korbin, my pediatric neurosurgeon who was instrumental in saving my life. I am thankful for Dr. Eberle and her team that worked to rehabilitate me so I could return home.

I am grateful for the late Ray Fultz, who signed the release forms (and was my guardian until my parents could get to me) at the scene of the accident, and drove my dad to the hospital, as well as Lynn Donaldson, a family friend and off-duty LA City Fire Department paramedic who cared for me until help arrived. Also, Jim Rogers, who sat and comforted my dad during this difficult time, it meant so much to my parents that you cared enough to be there. The late Louise Levesque, who alerted my mother at the soccer field the day of the accident. My dear friends Jennifer Jackson and the late Jennifer Smith, who held my beloved Mickey, as well as Diane DuBois, who took care of Mickey until someone came for her.

My childhood friend Shawn White, who I never once held responsible for what transpired that day, I am sorry that you had to suffer the pain you did.

I also want to express my deepest gratitude to my book coach, Judith Cassis, without her guidance this book might never have come to fruition. I thank those from my Wednesday writing classes for their helpful input and my editor, Vicki Jones, whose input is invaluable.

My friend Kim Romas, who shared her beloved Pepper with me, and Cam (Warrick) Allstot, who accompanied me to the babysitter so I wouldn’t have to be alone.

In addition, I thank my NRA shooting instructor, Greg Sonnenburg. I enjoyed each of those lessons and using the skills I learned.

I thank Dr. Hamlin, who was of the utmost importance in helping me peel away the layers in order to discover what was hidden inside my soul.

Not forgotten are the firefighters, who, while working the A shift at Station 107(E-107) that day, were instrumental in saving my life. Special thanks are extended to Retired LA County Fire Captain, Scott Graham, who went above and beyond in helping me try to learn the identity of these men so they could be acknowledged here. Hopefully, one day, I will be able to thank them in person.

Thanks to all my friends who have been instrumental in helping me to become the woman I was intended to be. It has been a long and sometimes painful journey, but God has blessed me with your support throughout the years. The lessons you have unknowingly taught me are invaluable.

Foreword

I am supposed to be stronger now, isn’t that how the saying goes? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Sometimes I wished it had killed me. I would have been spared the scorn I felt, just because there was something different about me. I had no idea what the difference was. I had no idea that I lacked age-appropriate social skills.

Until I knew what the problem was, I was unable to fix it. My prayers for continuing recovery weren’t getting me anywhere; I lived in my own private hell—something I would rather not do. With nowhere to turn, no time, and no answers in sight I almost gave in to a terrible thought: I would finish the job God forgot to do, I would end my life. No more feeling awkward in social situations, no more feeling rejected and wishing I was normal.

Sometimes, when I woke in the silence of my bedroom, when no one was around, no one was calling me, inviting me places, or even checking in on me, I would look toward my large walk-in closet because I was well aware that on each side of the closet were high set rods on which to hang things. There was also a door to the attic around which a rope could be tied. Either the door or one of the rods would work, but would it support my weight long enough for me to finish the job or would the door or the rods give in after not being able to support my one hundred and fifteen pound frame?

If I chose to finish what I saw as God’s negligence, would I succeed? Or, would it be a long, painful struggle mirroring the conditions in my life? I didn’t really want to commit suicide, as suicide is permanent, and I wanted to see if