Irrational Reactions to Social Irrationality

By Zachariah Bennet Douglas

In 2014, I started blogging about existence. I found people/life to be irrational and started venting. This is those blogs. It gets really dorky. I was in my early 30s and was going thru an abrupt maturation. No longer a 20-something writer full of ideas but lacking wisdom...this book is me explains to everyone I knew how different I had become.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Zachariah Bennet Douglas
• Release date: Aug 10, 2021

Zachariah Bennet Douglas

I am a philosopher.Nonfiction, fiction, and even some poems.Zachariah Bennet Douglas is my pen name.My real name is Jim Harper.I don't really know how to describe my writing style.At this point, my books are only digital.Smashwords doesn't allow rearranging of uploaded material and, of course, I uploaded my books in a shuffled manner. Reading them in the uploaded order would be a good journey, tho. The proper order of my books goes (newest to oldest):9. Rankle the Great - 2020 (free)8. Public Persona Not Included - 20197. This is a Trap Door book 2 - 20196. This is a Trap Door book 1 - 2019 (free)5. Escape Melvindale - 2018 (free)4. Preservation, Discursion, and Middle Ground - 20173. Tomorrow - 2015 (free)2. Irrational Reactions to Social Irrationality - 20151. The Smartest Person Ever - 2013The Aphorisms, Considerations, and Conversations series includes:- Rankle the Great- This is a Trap Door books 1and 2The short story books are:- Escape Melvindale- Tomorrow- The Smartest Person EverContact: [e-mail]

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Irrational Reactions to Social Irrationality

Zachariah Bennet Douglas

Copyright 2015 Zachariah Bennet Douglas

Smashwords Edition

Dedicated to all the people that knew who I was before I matured into the person I am.

Note: This book started off as a blog but after 20 or so entries was finished off-line.

1. Introduction

9-13-14

Life drives me crazy. Sorry, but it does. I know I shouldn't let it. The luckiest of people are the ones that can let things wash over them, dry off, and go about their day. I watch people ranting in videos online and I envy their charisma. I tried to do this but I'm not an on-camera type of guy. Sorry, again. Even my name, Zachariah Bennet Douglas, isn't my real name. My real name is James. A common name. My last name is common also. Even my middle name is common. If I put my full name into a search engine, other people come up. Politicians, authors, musicians...you name it.

Years ago, I adopted the ZBD penname. I liked the idea of having a name that started with Z. Working under a penname let me live outside of my real self. I got to write as a character about the things I was thinking, dreams I had, and whatnot. This was both cathartic and toxic. What I write...how I write...it flies in the face of traditional ways. Sure, lots of people do this but perhaps my reasons for doing so are different. One reason: I can't adapt to tired ideologies that seem stupid to me. I've been told I'm really smart but lots of times I feel like a complete doofus. If genius is real, then to be a genius means I have to take the good with the bad. I get to excel at some things and seem autistic in others. I dunno…scholastic writing seems sheltered. I grew up too close to the ghetto to leave slang behind. As time wears on, it's obvious that, again, other writers do this and it's socially acceptable but it's not respected by scholars. There in lies the problem...I can't be intelligent in the eyes of the masses and still use slang.

How I write and think are somewhat broken. I always felt a resistance unto average ways of thinking. The problem with that is an average is a great place to start. Understanding normalcy is a first step when one feels compelled to redefine normalcy. Yet, I just can't do it. The people I get to talk to aren't brilliant. In grade school, I found the smart kids dull. They seemed immature and lame. I knew they were smarter, but they weren't nearly as intelligent as I. That sounds pretentious but that's how it felt. Do I need to keep apologizing for being who I am? Fuck. Anyway, I never really got roped in with the smart crowd. In my heart, I know I'm not a nerd. I'm not slandering nerds, I'm just saying that nerds seem lame to me.

It's as if life IS full of cliques. We'd like to tell ourselves that we grow out of it but we don't. Yet, there's no shame in belonging somewhere. We classify things and in that, we classify ourselves. We have tastes, likes, and preferences and we like to be around tasteful people that prefer the things we do. I wasn't born into an intellectual and scholarly household. I often wonder what that would have been like...to have a parent suggest reading great novels and poems rather than biker magazines...to have gone to symphonies instead of flea markets...to have had relatives that went to ivy-league colleges...etc. I didn't have that. My family isn't stupid and they'll tell you that they aren't brainiacs.

I'm often stifled by generational differences. The average adult gets to a point where they know their cognitive limitations. They understand that they'll never be awarded a grant for research because they are just simple people that have simple careers and average families. Yet, as generations pass, things change but people get locked into their understanding of their limitations. My grandparents' generation knows what it's like to live during times of segregation. My parents' generation remembers growing up without computers in the classroom. What we know shapes who we are and it's disturbing to see how people tend to start shutting off when adulthood sets in. Old people don't want to learn how to use newfangled technologies. Heck, I'm only 32 and I don't want to give up books and cds to join everyone else in the digital revolution. Sure, I like to use computers but I feel myself relying on them way too much at times.

I wonder what it's like to be someone that goes off the grid and lives in a shack. I really think I could do that and be happy. The go-go-go pace of a social life is something that one is always having to keep up with...keep in touch with. Tho, I feel out of touch with something far greater. Where I live is quite populated. It's not a big city kinda thing. It's the suburbs. There are superstores within walking distance and fast-food joints on many corners. Yeah, it's really convenient but it almost seems like people hate one another because there are too many people around here. Unemployment is an issue and those unhappy with it all can't afford to leave. We were promised an okay life but for lots of people life isn't okay.

It's like: There's a depression that exists Downriver. People are happy AND people are sad, simultaneously. We live in a constant state of acceptance and denial. We look on the bright side but it's usually right next to the dark side. It's not a very convivial place to be. It's a good place to develop an issue with anything that takes your mind away from it all. I've seen people that have an unbelievable belief in religion. I've seen people that act like they are from a completely different race than they belong to. I've watched people dissolve into addictions. It's easy to look at a life around here and conclude inaccurately. We have all seen someone lose control to such an extent that, even if we try, we can't go that far. It's like: Rock-bottom is always in flux. The psychic universe is not in a nutshell, so to speak.

Simplicity exists not without boredom. Or, at least that's how it seems to me. I find that, as a writer, I can't help but think of life from an overviewic manner. What I mean is: In my stories, I create vast worlds full of in-depth characters. Some of these characters are more in-depth than anyone you'll ever meet, probably. I study humanity and in that I find most situations to be something that isn't worth writing about. We live in a tv and movie obsessed time. Like it or lump it, we do. We are addicted to being entertained and that doesn't sound harmful but we're always on the edge of our seats waiting for something to happen. The only time we relax is when we are exhausted. In heavily populated areas, there are so many people that are on the go. I went to the grocery store last night and people were speed-walking as they shopped. Zoom!

I think that the influence to be over-exerted outweighs the influence to just sit outside and take in nature. It's hard to sit outside. Even if you have a back yard and a privacy fence, your neighbors can still look out their window and see you. You can still hear them working in the garage, having a BBQ, or whatever. There isn't much time to really be alone unless you hole yourself up indoors. I live in an apartment complex. I have a balcony but my neighbors are always out. The way the complex is set up, all the buildings face one another…the balconies face one another. We're all corralled around the pool. When it's summer, I can't go outside for private reading. My neighbors want to talk and if I give the signal that I just want to read, they loudly talk to someone else. At all hours of the day, at least 2 of my neighbors are outside. They love to talk but to talk to someone across the way, you gotta project your voice.

Simple people don't have interesting conversations. This is why people watching is so easy. More often than not, it takes no cognitive effort to follow a conversation. I wish I was a simple person, but I'm not. I'm very complex. I'm a musician so my ears are trained to hear everything. I find it very hard to read if there is anything distracting like conversations, tv chatter, music, etc. I use ear plugs but they don't cancel out all sound. Anyway, I don't like to go out onto my balcony because my neighbors want to suck me into simple conversations about stupid shit. You might suggest that I try to enlighten them and talk of intellectual things. One: Most people don't want to talk about intellectual things. They shut off and act like I'm trying to prove I'm smarter than them. They graduated high school long ago and don't need to learn anything from small talk. Two: I'm not all that into intellectual things. Yeah, I read Psychology and Philosophy books...I dabble in Classical and Jazz...but what I tend to do is talk intellectually about normal things.

See: I thought it would be a good idea to form in-depth opinions on regular crap so that I could comport with my fellow humans. I also thought that it would be a smart idea to be a smart person. As a kid, I thought all adults were smart so I put forth an effort to be smart while growing up. By the time I got to be an adult, I realized that most adults aren't smart. They know some stuff...everyone has their forte and extended knowledge of a specific area of interest or 2 but they aren't overall-smart. (Keep in mind, it's no bad thing to be simple!) When I talk to people, I instantly get like this. By now you've read enough to kinda understand how my mind works. I analyze things. My brain goes really fast and I ponder. Most people don't ponder. If they say they do, they're lying just to sound smart. When I get a chance to add my part to the conversation, I take my normal route and it fucks with people.

I am ignorant of so much. I feel like smart people are the ones that can remember a bunch of useless shit. These are the nerds. Nerds are smart. Some nerds are intelligent but most are just smart. Nerds have a tendency to add useless knowledge into everyday conversations. This is why the average person is repulsed by them. I, on the other hand, I repulse people because I speak like a wizard. I talk as if I've been on the planet for centuries, have broken down humanity into a science, and should be treated like the smartest person my co-conversationalist has ever talked to. I don't do this willfully. Perhaps it's just a delusion but people seem dumb to me. Like how the retarded seem dumb to an average-minded person, the average-minded person seems dumb to me. Fucked up part is that I can't hide how I feel. No one gets angry at the people that talk to the retarded like they're overgrown toddlers but I'm often treated shittily for talking down to people.

What's really frustrating is that people don't talk up to me . They talk to me on their level. When I respond from the intellectual height at which I am, it can't be anything but downward. It's as if IQ is on a vertical scale. Average-minded people talk down to the retarded and the genius talks down to the average-minded and retarded. That's not saying that I've never been talked down to by someone more intelligent than I. It's just that speaking about this stuff in public is taboo. I may be a pedantic asshole but I don't want act like one. The most unintelligent thing one can do is talk about how smart they are, even if it need be said. Genius is supposed to be obvious but one can't speak edgewise and push the wideness of genius into a conversation.

Some of the nicest people are the dumbest. The people that approach me are usually really, really ignorant but they have huge hearts. I attract these people because I have body mods. Some might call me an extremist but I'm not too extreme (by my standards). The people that approach me tend to treat me like a charity case. They look like they pity me. As if it's too bad that I was born into a family where tattoos weren't reprehensible. They tend to dumb down their side of the conversation because of the stigma attached to the body mod culture. They take their already sub-average intellect and soften it up just in case I'm one of those brain-dead fucktards they see on tv. It's no different than how some Black people are talked to as if they didn't go to a decent high school just because they look like they listen to Rap and grew up in the hood. Are you intelligent enough to handle a bit of smarts? That's how they act.

Sometimes, it's fun to just act dumb. Lots of people don't want to let me be smart, especially if that means that I'm smarter than them. They kinda pshaw my intellect away as if I still have a lifetime to go before I can be wise. Yet, these conversations aren't all that common. Some adults are just overgrown spoiled brats and it's easier to just let them have the sucker than listen to them whine. (Take that politicians!!)

So anyway...all this kinda leaves me confused about humanity at times. I can't wrap my big brain around small minds. The opposite is true. Sometimes, it really sucks because I should be able to adapt and understand. When I can't...I ponder, get worked up, and then I rant. It gets all jumbled and I start getting way too philosophical. Megalomania sets in. It almost seems that humanity is divided, leaderless, and begging for anyone to step up and be a voice of reason. I'm sure it's up to some genius(es) to do this but, from what I understand, it's foolish to assume that I am that person (or one of those people). So it's like: I fight with my sense of duty. Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I write yet another novel, write another essay, should I blog, should I get on camera, should I take my ass to Hollywood and try to be famous, should I become a cynical stand-up comedian...? The list goes on.

I titled this project Irrational Reactions to Social Irrationality because I need an outlet for the way I react to people being stupid. When something sad happens, people have a sad reaction...they cry or get depressed. When happy things happen, people smile. I fear that I can't have rational reactions to irrational experiences. It's like life is talking down to me from a lower level of intelligence. I hope to keep this at least slightly funny. I do get dark, tho. I may make you feel stupid at times but it's okay because I feel stupid at times. You'll get used to it.

2. Discursion

9-14-14

I'm not the only person that gets worked up over things that most don't really care about. What's weird is seeing a different angle...having the different perspective on an issue. For matters of simplicity, we like to think of things in a black & white manner. We take sides. It's what we do. And for most things, a side is worth taking. Even if you aren't the protesting type, one side of a debate seems to make more sense. When we choose either/or, we know that there are probably a myriad of ways to opine the situation. Thing is: Most of us don't dwell in the grey areas.

I seem to exist in the grey areas. When I encounter a controversial subject, I always look for the third perspective. I expect it. The death penalty is right...it's wrong....

Then what? If we can't agree between 2, then we should not consider just those 2, right? If it's either one way or the other, we'll never have middle ground. This sounds like rationality to me but society doesn't work that way. (Also, I think of how 2 can be divided equally but there is no center number...yet, with 3 there is a center number, 2.)  It comes down to how people are...we don't get the time to research all sorts of stuff. Even if you spend a few hours reading articles on a subject, that just means you have a bit of knowledge about that subject and there are so many controversies these days. The smartest of people don't have the cognitive energy and time to form learned opinions on everything.

We trust our guts. Sure, our guts aren't always trustworthy but we trust them nonetheless. When someone brings up a controversy, within a few moments we know which side of 2 we'd stand on. Yet, it's like: We've found ourselves only letting our minds instantaneously think of 2 sides. 

If you ask someone to memorize a 4 or 5 digit number, they can do it no problem. Beyond that, most people can't and it's because they don't practice that way. Phone numbers are