Sh*t Rough Drafts: Pop Culture's Favorite Books, Movies, and TV Shows as They Might Have Been

By Paul Laudiero

The book that imagines Bloodshed and Hugs as the title for War and Peace and the Bible as being too preachy (per editor’s note).

Sh*t Rough Drafts collects fake misguided early drafts of classic books, screenplays, and contemporary literature, creating visions of alternate works that would exist had the authors not come to their senses. What if F. Scott Fitzgerald had gone with the title The Coolest Gatsby? How would The Hunger Games change if Peeta were armed only with blueberry muffins? If the Man of Steel’s S stood for Sexyman? MacBeth, Moby Dick, Harry Potter, Sense and Sensibility, The Lord of the Rings, and many more are each presented as if they were the actual typed or handwritten pages by the authors themselves, revealing the funny and frightful works they might have been with a little less capable judgment.

Praise for Paul Laudiero’s Sh*t Rough Drafts

“With potty humor and bad jokes, Laudiero makes us feel that we are capable of the next great American novel. If only we can get past our shit rough drafts.” —HuffPost

“The account features whimsical takes on the proverbial ‘rough first draft’ that lurks behind every great book, from the Bible to Fifty Shades of Grey.” —Daily Dot

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Apr 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781452137247

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

When I decided to assemble this collection of terrible rough drafts, people told me it was impossible, and stupid, and that I was three months behind on rent, and that I really need to pay the rent, or I was going to be thrown out, and that, no, I can’t borrow the car. But did I let the haters get me down? No.

Instead I set out in a stolen 2002 Toyota Prius to track down as many drafts as I could. It wasn’t easy. Writers are reclusive, secretive creatures, and I was forced to break into homes, museums, libraries, safes, studies, and even crypts (I’m talking about you, Christopher Nolan). I’ve been arrested hundreds of times, lost an ear (booby traps: thanks a lot, Kafka!), and am currently on the run from the Hemingway estate. I had to fake my own death just to escape J. K. Rowling’s assassins. Michael Crichton? He has an actual velociraptor guarding his manuscripts. I suffered for these drafts.

Was it worth it? No. Absolutely not. I’m missing three fingers and haven’t slept in a warm bed for months. But once you’ve done the things I’ve had to do, you don’t turn back. I had to show the world that these writers are but mortals like you and me. They toiled and suffered over each line and it wasn’t until

Reviews for Sh*t Rough Drafts

[sarah_beaudette · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Read in an hour and chuckled at several parts. It makes a good gift for readers and writers, though I'm not sure I would have paid to buy it (received as a gift), simply because of how quickly it goes.