Find the Storm: Thousand Year War, #1

By Michelle Dawn

I've been raised to fear my fate. Now I want revenge.

I grew up hidden from the world to keep my magic a secret. Until I ruined everything and exposed us, costing my mother her life.

For generations, war has continued over the Sacred Lands, the source of all magic. While it wages, the women of Bastran are nothing more than breeders forced against their will to create an army of soldiers. My mother was one of them, and I want to find and punish the man who fathered me.

Now, I'm in the rival kingdom of Azurin, and they want to train me to become a powerful soldier, fighting on their side. In the process, I'm faced with a man whose magic inexplicably pulls us together, but can I truly trust him when I've been raised to fear all men?

All I know is, I'm prepared to fight to save myself and other women from becoming breeders, even if it means losing my life in the process.

A dark epic fantasy with reluctant romance. Due to elements of violence, including sexual assault and suicidal ideation, it is recommended for mature readers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michelle Dawn
• Release date: Nov 15, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201049812

Book preview

1

A ria! Come help me carry these, my mother yelled across the market, drawing my attention.

She barely managed to hold the stack of fabrics she just obtained from the weaver, and her thin frame wobbled as she tried not to drop them. The early fall wind threw her shoulder-length silver-gray hair across her weathered face, obscuring her vision, but her hands were too occupied to push it away.

I sprinted across the dirt road separating the small wooden buildings and placed a hand on her stack to steady it, wishing she called me sooner. With her arthritis, she had great difficulty with even minor loads. This pile towered up to her chin and was far beyond her ability to handle, but she would always try to do things herself first. The fabric was essential for our winter preparations, and since we wouldn’t be coming back to town for some time, we needed to get all the necessities now.

I wish you wouldn't try to overdo it. We have a lot of linens already, and this seems like too much, I chastised her, prompting a frown from her in return.

You know you need a better cloak. I hate to see you get cold while doing chores. If I weren't in such bad shape, I could help you…. She trailed off, her voice full of regret.

She was all I had in this world, and I couldn’t take the thought of anything happening to her. She didn’t need to be ashamed for needing my help to avoid injuring herself.

We had lived secluded on our land for my entire life. My mother always insisted that we minimize our interactions with everyone else. Even trips to the market were minimal and only out of necessity. We made most things ourselves, but occasionally, there was something we were unable to do, so we headed to the nearby small town a few times a year.

The land and animals usually met all our needs, but sometimes they fell short. In those times, I would use my magic to add some extra vitality to them when my mother wasn't looking.

My magic flowed through me, weaving into every part of my being, and using it was as simple as a passing thought. Nobody taught me how; it just came to me. The magic bent to my will, doing my bidding as easily as moving my hand, and I loved the sensation as it coursed through me. I couldn’t avoid something that was such an essential part of me, even though I understood the risk.

My mother insisted that I must not use my magic. She informed me that it left a trail that others would sense. The more it was used, the stronger it felt to other magic users, and the last thing she wanted was for them to ever find me.

I snapped my attention back to my mother, who cringed with pain as a young boy suddenly ran into her leg. Cloth flew in the air as she fell to the ground with a twist. A large knot distorted her ankle that was now bent at a strange angle, and tears swam in her eyes.

The boy stood up and stared openmouthed at the damage he had caused. Oh! I'm so sorry! Let me grab the healer! He panicked and rushed away as a crowd formed in his wake, curious to see the commotion.

The healer would not be able to help us. She was only a woman who concocted herbs, not someone with magic who could fix this. At best, she would only be able to apply a splint. Based on the angle of her ankle, my mother wouldn’t be walking for a long time, if ever. I couldn’t let her continue to experience such pain when I had the power to do something about it.

Aria, don't you dare, my mother hissed through gritted teeth. There are way too many people watching. Remember all my stories. I don’t want that to happen to you.

I was barely listening as I found the break, sending a flowing warmth and healing energy from my hands as the bone began to mend and straighten. The use of magic didn’t cause any light. Onlookers would only see me holding my mother's ankle gently as we awaited a healer. Nobody had magic here, so they couldn’t sense mine, and I had no concerns about being caught.

I looked up to see tears streaming down my mother's face. Behind the shroud of silver-gray hair that had fallen over them, her gray eyes were a mirror of my own. The wind picked up, and my own waist-length dark auburn waves fluttered by, mingling with hers in a dance of the old and new. Mother once told me her hair had been the same color as mine, but age had stolen it away.

Why do you never listen? she whispered sadly as the tears freely flowed, but they weren't from physical pain. Her bone was fully mended, but her eyes spoke of deep hurt, and I was stunned that she was so stricken by my help. We would never have gotten home otherwise. The journey took hours on the best of days, and she wouldn't have been able to walk after such an injury.

Then I sensed a heaviness in the air. An oppressive pressure was building, and as the seconds went by, it became more potent to the point of overwhelming. Something was coming, and it was chilling me to my very core.

Magic, I whispered, my heart racing in fear.

It was something I had never felt before, but I recognized it just the same. My senses told me magic was approaching, but I had no idea why that explanation came to mind. I had never been around another magic user or sensed it in the air. Every man with magic fought in the war at the northern border. Every woman with magic was kept to the south in dormitories where they were made to give birth to more powerful men.

Women on both sides of the war were forced to repeatedly spawn as many children as they could until their bodies gave out. This was the whole reason my mother insisted I never use my magic. She couldn't bear the thought of me becoming a breeder. She had fought to hide me here in the middle of nowhere with no other magic around.

Decades ago, towns would constantly be canvassed for men and women of magic. However, it was thought that most family lines had been collected, so I had never experienced such a thing. My mother assured me it was brutal. She told me many stories of children being ripped from their families and taken far away to become what the kingdom required. Nobody had magic here, though, so why did they come?

I couldn’t even remember the last time I used my magic before today, and I had no idea how someone would have sensed it when we lived so far away from everyone. I had used my magic just now, but certainly the authorities couldn’t have been alerted so quickly. The stories my mother told indicated that it took days for them to arrive, not moments. It couldn’t possibly be someone coming for me already.

My mother rose to her feet, the fabric long forgotten.

The attention of the crowd turned as the first of the soldiers rounded the corner. At the front was a man on a dark horse wearing a flowing red cloak. Rows of soldiers followed closely behind him. His short brown hair rustled in the wind, and he narrowed his dark eyes, scanning the crowd for the magic that lived here.

He came to a stop before languidly dismounting in a movement that spoke of a self-assurance only someone with great power could display. The lines of twenty-some soldiers came to a halt behind him, standing at attention while awaiting his command. Their golden armor overlying red cloth sparkled in the moving light of the afternoon sun.

I sensed the power rumbling from this man. The soldiers behind him held much less, but I felt it just the same. All of them had the heavy aura of recently passed magic. With my recent stunt, they would absolutely sense the same of me, and I trembled at the thought of being taken.

The cloaked man quickly zeroed in on me and started walking forward with a look of malicious determination. I would be his prize as my womb did its duty to the kingdom.

Flowing energy rushed past me in a powerful wave to strike the man directly, and he flew back into his soldiers, causing several to fall in a heap.

My mother stalked past me with her head held high, looking years younger. I had never seen her have such a look of determination. The soldiers would absolutely know the magic came from her. It was flowing around her form as she stood in front of me, attempting to block me from view.

I had suspected she held magic, but as I looked her over, I was shocked at the intensity of it. How had she kept this from me?

When I thought back over my twenty-five years, I couldn’t remember a time she ever used magic, but I thought I sensed something was in her. The wisdom she had must have come from life experience. It didn't make sense that she would have known so much any other way. She was always able to tell when I had used magic for something. I was never able to hide it, no matter how hard I tried.

I couldn’t help sending my healing energy to her when we were at home by ourselves. She had so much pain in her body that had aged before its time. Her swollen joints would cause her to limp with even minor tasks, but small doses of my magic would make her sigh with relief even as she told me never to do it again. I couldn't stand to see her so uncomfortable, so I never listened, despite all the stories she would tell to deter me. Apparently, she could have done it herself all along.

I did try to be cautious and not use my magic when a trip to town was planned, but no one around here had magic, so nobody would have been able to sense it. Nobody had seen soldiers here in my entire life. The threat just didn’t seem real to me, and I was complacent in the security I had here. How wrong I was….

The man stood with a snarl and directed a look of pure hatred at my mother. He was going to kill her and make her suffer severely in the process. She was well past her childbearing years, and women of magic had no other use in our kingdom. Perhaps those who had done their duty for years were allowed some retirement, but she had been hiding. I was her only child, and I was not given to the kingdom. The penalty for this would be steep.

You will pay dearly for that, he threatened. His voice held the calm fury of a promise he would undoubtedly deliver. He appeared only slightly older than me, but it was clear he was well-practiced in violence.

Take me as you will. I have been hidden away by myself for all of my youth, and I never bore a child. I accept my punishment. Her voice was steady with no hint of the earlier tears. The statement was a blatant lie, however. It was indisputable that we were related. The surrounding crowd knew she was my mother. He would only need to ask one of them; no one would lie to him. Even if they couldn't sense his magic, his every movement spoke of the strength he held. He had the ability to easily end any one of us.

Is that so? he drawled as he paused to brush the dust from his shoulder. Despite that display, which was obviously meant to be a distraction, I can still feel there is another. You won't hide her.

There is no other! I just used my magic to heal an injury to my ankle. You can feel that on me and no one else. She walked toward him with her arms outstretched.

Her magic flowed toward everything around her. The grass alongside the dirt road began to rise rapidly. The herbs and flowers in planter boxes under windows quickly grew to massive sizes. Those in the crowd with ailments gasped as they were remedied.

Her magic coated the entire square, leaving its traces on everything. Even the heaviness of the soldiers’ power diminished as it was covered by the blanket of magic she had woven over the area, and I gasped at the sensation.

Quite the show, he scoffed. I see you wish to present yourself as a healer. There could have been some use in that, but your years are short, and your betrayal to the kingdom has been deep. The penalty for that is death. He stalked toward her, raising his hand.

No! I yelled, running toward them as horror flooded my senses. I would not stand by and watch my mother be executed for my mistake. She always told me that I mustn't use my magic. The possibility of discovery had always been real, even if I never thought it was an actual threat.

It was my own recklessness that led us to this situation, and I regretted not listening. Now the worst had come to pass. They were here, and it was unlikely her death would save me from the fate she had fought so hard to avoid. If I offered myself, maybe they would spare her.

There she is. He smirked, turning his attention toward me. Likely, he had known it was me all along. Now, let's get you to where you belong.

My mother turned to me with sadness in her eyes, and I returned an apologetic glance, so sorry I had sealed our fate. My magic couldn’t be disguised, and it was clear that I belonged to her. We looked too much alike to deny our relationship.

Even if I didn't retain the traces of the magic I had just performed, they would be searching me after the display she had just shown. Magic passed through family lines. Power from both sides would be passed down to the child. It was the whole concept surrounding breeders. Powerful men wanted powerful children. A woman with no magic would only weaken their offspring.

Come now, and let's not make a further scene of this, he beckoned me, impatience growing in his countenance. It's clear that you have quite a bit of magic. You will make powerful soldiers for the kingdom.

My stomach sank at the thought of being nothing more than a womb to fill for the rest of my childbearing years. It was a fate worse than death, but I would cooperate with them if it saved my mother.

As for you— He looked at my mother. —there is no further use. He shot his hand out toward her as magic flew from him. The energy was dark, heavy, and ugly. It was meant to end her.

She tried to shield herself, but she had already used all the magic she had at her disposal. With eyes wide open, she slumped to the ground, blankly staring toward the sky. Those gray eyes that had always held the most profound love for me were now empty. No amount of healing would be able to bring her back.

The shock of what I had just witnessed broke me into a million pieces that exploded outward from the anguish in my heart. I stood stunned with rage that consumed me as it fed the strength of my magic. They would pay for what had just happened. Nobody would be spared from my wrath.

Now that we have dispensed of the hag, let's be off. The more you cooperate, the better you will be treated. He turned his back to me, expecting me to blindly follow after he had so brazenly killed my mother. Such arrogance! What type of withering maiden did he think I was? I would have gone peacefully if he promised her safety. Now I had nothing left to lose.

I shot my hands forward, directing every bit of anguish into the magic I sent toward him. The hatred made my magic a raging wave that poured out from within me. It struck him with a resounding crack that filled the silence and sent a surge of energy flying outward, knocking everyone back, soldier and citizen alike. He fell forward and lay unmoving with his cloak surrounding him in a disheveled pool. My retribution was complete. He had no chance of rising again.

The other soldiers quickly recovered from witnessing their leader lying dead in the street. They were clearly used to seeing death. It didn’t faze them in the least, and they rallied to continue their leader's attempt to obtain me. Their combined magic flew in my direction all at once. Whether they intended to use it to capture or kill didn't matter. I would never go with them willingly.

I raised my arms, summoning protection around me, and their magic dissipated on contact, allowing me to return the assault. My hands flew in a sweeping arc directing the energy of my anguish back toward them. They tried to shield themselves against me, but several fell at the impact.

I had no time to consider whether the fallen soldiers had perished before the others mounted their attacks again. The second wave of assaults was less coordinated as the men cast at intervals. The protective energy of my shield wavered, pushing against the force of them, but I refused to be taken. I had no reason to ever give up. This was a fight to the death.

My energy quickly waned as I continued to hold fast. One person could only muster so much magic at a time, and their attacks were relentless. Even the weakest of them had been well-trained in their craft. I never had any training at all.

Dropping my protective barrier, I reached for the destructive energy inside me. With all the force I could muster, I threw my hands wide, sending my assault with reckless abandon. They tried in vain to shield themselves against me, but the nearest fell, unmoving.

Without pause, I pushed my hands out relentlessly, sending repeated attacks, and one by one, they continued to drop.

Their assaults gradually lessened as more of them went down, but the strikes that found me hit hard as the energy of my shield waned. The force of the blows slowly knocked me back until my legs buckled and I fell to my knees.

The last three soldiers drew toward me as I let out my final cast. I had nothing left in me.

One soldier brushed away my weak attempt with a wave of his hand and a sneer on his face. I can't wait to see the torture they inflict upon you, he threatened as everything around me faded to black.

2

My eyes fluttered open, and I found myself on a small bed in a narrow room lit by a single candle in a sconce hanging from the stone wall. No windows lit the space, and the only other furniture in the room was a small dresser with a pitcher and basin. Some unknown person had changed my clothing, and I looked down to find myself dressed in a simple white cotton shift.

My heart sank as I came to the conclusion that I was in a breeder dormitory. The remaining soldiers must have taken me after I passed out with my magic depleted. I may have cut them down, but I didn't stamp them out. It wasn't enough to save me from the fate my mother had fought so hard against.

I had been told repeatedly that I should never use my magic. It had been ingrained in me my entire life, but I never actually believed the threat. I spent the majority of my days alone with my mother, and since our home was so secluded and safe, I never thought anyone would find us. Obviously, I was wrong.

Now I would experience the horrors she had promised would come. She had told me so many stories about women she had known being stolen away. Most of them were only children at the time. I was older, but my fate was the same, and I was no less traumatized. My mother was gone forever, and it was all my fault.

I had never been away from my mother in my entire life, and I had no idea how I would be able to go on living without her. My heart was broken at losing her, and I sobbed into my hands, trying to come to terms with my new reality.

I had minimal interaction with anyone else and no connections to anyone. Even if I could escape from here, I had no idea where I would go. No one in our town would care enough to try to hide me from the Bastran armies, especially after what they just witnessed.

My body shook as I considered what lay ahead. I was terrified to be touched. My mother had spent my whole life warning me about how horrible men were, telling me terrible stories about the things she had seen them do, and I had seen some of it myself.

Men in town sometimes found me attractive enough to express interest in me, but my mother explained to me how painful their touch was, and I had no interest in any of them. I learned the truth of her words firsthand as a young teenager when one decided he didn’t need my permission. He pulled me into the small space between two buildings and tried to force himself between my legs. I was about to use my magic on him, but my mother found us and struck him over the head with a pail that happened to be sitting nearby.

He released me, stumbling from the force of the strike, but she hit him again and again. I never saw him again after that. My mother told me that he left town, but I wondered if he had actually died. Either way, I appreciated that he was gone, and I learned my lesson about being cautious around all men, not just the ones who wanted my magic.

My mother told stories of all the anguish the breeders had to endure, and she knew so many. It was infinitely worse than what happened to me. Some women were used in front of their entire town before being stolen away. Some were forced to watch their families tortured and killed in front of them. All of them were kept locked away, raped and beaten repeatedly while living their lives in constant pain with no hope of any freedom. She spared no sordid detail, making sure I understood the importance of remaining hidden.

I was fearful of even having polite acquaintances, but now I would be forced to bear as many children as they wanted. I would be in pain for the rest of my life. Death would be a better option, and it wasn’t too late for me to find a way to end myself.

Though somewhat stiff from sleep, my body didn’t appear injured otherwise. Nothing indicated that I had already been violated. The pool of magic within me had also been refilled and even seemed significantly fuller than usual. Perhaps it was a muscle that needed exercise to grow, and I had done just that.

The floor was cold on my bare feet as I attempted to stand, but light-headedness assaulted me, causing me to immediately sit again. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm my racing heart and let the sensation recede. My mouth was so dry, as though I hadn't had a drink in days, and the pitcher on the other side of the room was enticing. I didn't think I could make it there in this state, though.

The door swung open to reveal a woman several years younger than me wearing a simple brown dress. Her light brown hair was tied in a bun at the nape of her neck, and she held a tray with linens and a glass of water that I eyed with desire.

You're awake, she gasped as she noticed me sitting upright.

So it would seem, I returned flatly, wiping the tears from my face.

The door had opened without the sound of a lock, and hope dared to fill me. Maybe I wasn't a prisoner here after all. At the very least, I could leave this room at will. This small woman looked too petite and unassuming to be a guard. Maybe I still had the chance to escape.

I'm so glad. We were beginning to worry. You've been asleep for four days, she casually mentioned as she set the tray on the dresser and handed me the glass of water. You should drink. I've only gotten small sips in you.

I sensed nothing nefarious about her, and my thirst was overwhelming, so I happily drank the water my body so desperately needed.

Don't drink too quickly. You’ll make yourself sick. She touched my hand to slow me, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

I immediately understood the wisdom of her advice. My stomach was starting to roll already, and I fought nausea, trying to avoid losing what little I had consumed.

What is this place? I wondered as I rested the glass of water in my lap and looked around.

The walls were made of large gray stones, but the space wasn’t cold. Warmth radiated through the stones, and it made the area almost cozy. It was in strange contrast to the intended function of this place. I always expected that a breeder dormitory would be more like a cold prison.

The Northern Fortress, she announced over her shoulder as she worked to dampen some of the linens she had brought.

We're at the border? I gasped.

The northern border was the focus of the war. All the soldiers were there fighting against Azurin, our enemy to the north, for ownership of the sacred land. Breeders would have no function on the front lines. They were always kept as far south as possible to give birth to the next generation of soldiers.

As far from it as possible, actually, she uttered nonchalantly, but her meaning took me to a worse realization. I was on the other side.

Bastran, my home country, was far behind me, and I was now a breeder for the enemy. Azurin had prolonged this war for generations, never willing to yield. They were the cause of all the misery that had befallen me. Breeders only existed because everyone needed more soldiers for this war. Now I was trapped with them.

How did I get here? I stammered, struggling to breathe through my panic.

I couldn’t fathom how I ended up on the other side. I had assumed that the soldiers who had taken me were from Bastran, but maybe I was wrong. Could the war have pushed so far south without us knowing they were coming? And if so, why would they only have such a small group come through our town?

She said that I had slept for four days. I didn’t understand how I could be any farther than the border itself, since I lived more than a four-day ride from the northern border. To travel to a northern territory would have taken an even longer journey.

Magic. She winked while sending a wispy magic through the cloth she was holding. When she handed it to me, it was decidedly warmer than the cool water that filled my glass.

My mother had told me that breeders were never allowed to use their magic. The men feared the women would become too powerful and leave their station, but maybe specific allowances were made in this foreign land. This woman was well within breeding age, but she seemed to be using her magic freely.

She wasn't providing me with the knowledge I so desperately needed, the information that would determine the state of the rest of my life, so I decided to be direct. I’m having a difficult time understanding what's going on here. Is this a breeder dormitory?

Absolutely not! she huffed and sat next to me