The Red Ink Pen

By Anirban Roy

Dramatic, Suspenseful, Romantic and  Thought-provoking!

A heart-touching story - of a young man,   and of this time,  and society. 
In the mirror of a young teacher's life, are reflected ... Life's dark and light,   sorrow and joy, injury and Love - all the many shades. 
Along with the inside picture of the System, hidden faces of Democracy.    And a story of relations, between the hearts. 

 

A delectable read which makes you think.           And even after the story ends, still remains its aura in the mind

​​​Plot Intro

- A young man – solitary by misfortune, artist by skill, and curious by nature        still unsuccessful by deprivation by the system,            still goes on                 striving to succeed!    But he finds that his bank balance has neared zero!    And all his skills and efforts are showing no prospect!        The horizon seems dark.        

            Without earning, without money …   Death is chasing!

            With a deep-thinking mind     he decides to be a Teacher. - Why?!

In the search of job, the young man ultimately reaches a completely unknown land – far away from home.   A school.     There he meets strangers and strange events!  And to him it gets exposed – lives of Teachers! - Ultimately, he leaves the school and escapes!    - But with the approaching death, without money, he strives to find a new opportunity. And goes on his struggle, searching a suitable place to get a job as Teacher.         And in all these, on an interview, he meets a mysterious, beautiful woman.            And in the dark of the night in a bus, sitting beside her, he faces an unprecedented experience – surreal!    Is it love? or lust?

Finally, he secures a job as teacher.   What happened then? ….

• Language: English
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Release date: Nov 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201503284

Anirban Roy

After acquiring M.A. in History, Anirban  joined in the profession of Teaching in school, in India. Served as Teacher for about 10 years. Thus observed the field of education from within. Observed and realized the common situations in different countries. Observed the changes. Felt the heat and the tears in the dark, as well as the joy … of learning, sharing … and relations …. among Teachers, Students, Society, even governments. Regarding his novel The Red Ink Pen, in his own words - "And in the free times, in tired evenings, exhausted weekends …. or during an off-period between many busy ones, in the school, the keyboard in the laptop got hit by the strokes not only of experience but also of feelings, thoughts … and imagination! – And over a period of a couple of years, was knitted in The Red Ink Pen." He has authored a second novel based on extensive research in history - Hidden Treasure: An Exhilarating Pursuit in search of forgotten sagas & lost treasure, available on Amazon sites. Other than writing, he was also an artist - a Painter and a trained Interior Designer. The cover of his books are designed by him. He was a singer too. He has a YouTube channel featuring some of his songs.

Book preview

Disclaimer

ALL THE CHARACTERS / names / institutions / places / objects / events etc. in this story

are purely fictional. Any similarity with any such real person, living or dead / institutions / places / objects / events etc. are purely unintentional and result of coincidence.

Dedicated to all the very best Keepers and Spreaders of the beautiful light of knowledge and wisdom with love and care

And to Humanity

THIS IS A LAND BLESSED with abundant nature, from mighty rivers to seas, from lofty, snowclad mountains to fertile plains, from sandy sunny desert to lush green forests,  spread over more than million square kilometres and inhabited by her people with variety only comparable to the land’s natural diversity, with their own cultural legacy of millennia!

Hundreds of years ago, the land had been the cradle of some great civilizations.

Now, it is wrapped in troubles – wants, corruption, and definitely ..... tremendous inequality / disparity between the insanely rich and the commoners.

Sometime during the beginning years of the 21st century! .....

The Red Ink Pen

SLOWLY, I CAME OUT of the bank, much like a sloth!

– Out there is bright daylight. 

But a darkness was gradually covering up my whole vision!

The little money left in the account, that may serve for some four more, or less months only!     After that?

Was walking aimless.  

Where to go? What more to do?

I was not getting any idea how to make an arrangement to earn the living!

For the last couple of years, I have been fighting – been dreaming – been giving really bone-eroding labour for a living – for which once became almost paralysed.  Then about eight months I became bedridden with unbearable pain.

None was then to look after me. To care even little of me. None still now.

Father passed away some years back. Yeah! Nine years, suffering from cancer.

To have somebody for me means, my half-sane mother who is needed to be kept on regular medications, and she is nothing but my responsibility.     Although, with those medicines, how much good is done, that, only God knows!

And then there was the sad, depressing house in which we these two are living; where the other residents – known as relatives! – would be most happy if I die!

I am alive! Probably that is the strangest paradox of God!

Me, Anirban – a designer with a Diploma and unbound imagination, fighting for the last eight years for an independent profession.

The bio-data is very peculiar.

On one hand, in profession and by qualification, I am a designer. – An interior designer. But I am also having an Honours degree! – B.A. Honours – in History.

But that also I passed some years back – so even on that degree now there is the dust of time!

- You graduated so long ago – in the mean time you did not do anything? Remained idle?

I had to hear in one interview in a call centre!

Idle? And me? Then how could I live for the years in between?

And all the bone-eroding labours of mine?

Not asking these, I simply said,

- Apart from this I also did a course in Interior Designing. – In these years I tried to apply that learning for my profession.

- Really? What is the proof? Where did you serve?

No. I did not serve in a company as a designer. But, also, I could not earn as sufficient that I could say that I did my own business – so hesitantly I told

– I tried to do my own business.

- So, leaving such lucrative profession, why are you searching for a job? That also in a call centre? You can get job as a designer also, na?         – No, no. What you are saying is not convincing.

How can I make someone understand?

In the light of art, by the skill in art, I have got the confidence to compete, to contest, even with the best, even today.

But creating art, philosophy of art, and market of art are not the same things.     – Every day, throughout the world, many and many inferior, and even valueless, artworks are sold at high prices – for successful trading of art.

I was artist, but never a salesman.  Even by trying, I could not be!

- Qualities of a salesman: even being insulted, even curbing own entity, fulfilling aim, target, for selling!   – Against all these, springs up, time and time again,     my artist entity –     .... maybe, subtle pride – so could not rub the hands in sycophancy.

And! There remain many and many things related to the success of a business.

Capital! – I had only skill of an artist. And Imagination.

Probably a little more – organizational skill – even I matured in keeping accounts nicely!

But money to invest?

-  No. I did not have.

Nor did have an office of my own......... At the beginning, could not even ask for an assignment! - Felt restricted! Shy.

Gradually, overcoming such many obstacles, assignments began to come in.   – Then, another shock – Did not get my remuneration!

Very known, close friend, big brother type persons – took away beautiful designs I prepared after hard work of a month or two. – For the remuneration when I approached, first, they were not home – later, some previously unknown appearances – after even that, different stories ! – Learned.

Learned, became aware of a special aspect of man, of society.

............. Thus learned so many things. So changed, myself, methods of work, and many more things!

Thus passed these years – being obstructed, learning, fighting. – But no wonder, like in fantasy, in novels, happened! – So, in these years together, whatever I could earn, to many that is income of a month!

And after all these, happened Ma’s accident !

- fell from the staircase – leg bones broke into few pieces – 7 bottles of blood – surgery – next 6 months – nursing home – medicines – diet – doctor – medical tests – ambulance – attendant – nurse – physiotherapy ............ the little money in hand ............ now I discover, almost all is finished!

What next?

||Chapter 2||

Now it is evening. Am submerged, drowned in the same thought.

Could not stay at home. Don’t like there. None is there na, to listen, to have some sympathy! Whom to tell there anything?

Half-mad mother – if I’ll say something, she will hear only to bury it in her uncaring silence!

Even if she replies any, almost always the suggestions are useless.

Aimless legs, walking route-less, unknowingly brought me here, by the river, when, I don’t know.

Now in front there is wide span of water – Ganga.

Far.... far away, small, small houses and trees, composing the horizon from where the evening sky has risen up, above and above and spreads above me  and even back beyond me ......

GURGLING OF ALL THESE vast waters is sounding in low tone, - Ganga, the flowing water body, flow of continuity ..........!

It is only me now, still! Sitting on a stair by the riverbank. Alone.

What is next?

This vast water ......... the flow ....... The horizon far away .........  the sky ....... everything was reminding me, what I had wanted to be!

What life I had wanted!

A  poet  artist  singer ............ researcher .............!

One, is flashing now from long gone memory,

is seizing my mind .......... Kuheli!

Who remained in silent wait for five long years,    for me.

And Me?

I was fighting, heart and soul, to achieve that situation, so that I could tell her, deeply ........ touching ....... two small tells – I want you. For life.

Could not say a single word!

All my struggle went in vain!  Even in five years my situation did not change for any better!

Only in my seclusion, she remained, spreading throughout the entirety of my mind ..... Oh my love ........... so much eager me, only for you!

Then, one day, I discovered,

She was not any more in wait for me – She had left,    in this vast world ............. Leaving me alone.

Lonely, I am very lonely.

Now, you only are coming into my mind - Kuheli!

And you? Now do not even think of me, na?

Now you do not even think na? how am I ?  living?   Or     dead?

||Chapter 3||

THREE – FOUR MORE DAYS passed by.

Have become devastated by frustration and fear of approaching frightening dark future.

Was seated beside window, by my table, multipurpose one! The same is used for studies, writing, painting, drawing the architectural designs and for days’ and nights’ dining! – Everything on the same.

-  Out there still it is day.

-  Was thinking!

One realization was growing stronger gradually.

And a decision also.

- Business – this independent profession of Interior Decoration will not be suitable any longer for me.

Immediately, I need to arrange a means of regular and fixed monthly income.

- Mean – s ............ salaried service.

That, ...service – means that unwanted profession! - To serve somebody, or some organization.

Had the desire to live free!

Free – self-dependent. Not dependent – independent.

When I shall work and when I shall rest – that is my business!

When, how much or how less I shall work, how I shall do, why I shall do – my business – because, I am independent!

Why so? - Like this?

Because,  of dreams.   That I had   ............  I have.

How?

Very peculiar story!

When a teenager, used to tune in my voice with the songs I liked.

In their tune, lyrics, mood, meaning, expression ...... Sang along.

And when was engaged in this play of mine, some sudden day I was discovered by the people around, as a good singer, myself !

And began the dream – I will be a Singer.

When had been even younger, used to draw, paint   pictures.

- Colour, water ...... flow ...... lines ...... shapes ....... reality ...... abstractness ....... two-dimension, three-dimension ..... drawing, design, ..... perspective .... human figure ..... face ..... Light-shadow-hue-tone-mood-feelings-expressions ... brush-ink-pen-pencil-paper ............ canvas   – as if I myself, used to flow away ...... A different world   – attracted.   Made me to like.   

As if an addiction! Trance!  I wanted to be an Artist !

Poet .........in those golden sky’s dusks of the just-teen-age when Kabli began to come, to me,      ...... began to skip my favourite, playing games, with other friends ..........     Came Love!

With that along,    as if from the ether of poetic conscious, don’t know how, came rhythm  - words ......... feelings ............. expression!

Suddenly I discovered ............. Poems, are being written    by me!

Who am I? 

Researcher .........

Studying had never been my favourite.

I liked only reading stories and good poems. Reading stories was a great addiction.  World literature was also known well, through translations.

But the so called Science subjects began attracting me from classes VIII or IX. Biology and Physics made me skilled in them!

So I passed the 10th grade Board Exam with overall average marks only.

– Ordinary 2nd Division!

Still then it was possible to get admission in the so-called Science stream for the 11th & 12th, with even worse results than mine.

Things, especially education system was much more open then.

So I took admission in the science stream, for my love – my attraction towards the subjects, even despite the bad result in the 10th.

- Bad result? So?  - Happened once.   Let me try the next time.   I love Science.

- This was my proposition, to myself, to my parents, to others.

Alas! In the days those came after, the life went helpless in turbulences – everything went shattered!

Joint families are of two types. – One is that of tied in love, care for each other – the desired type. But the other one is that filled with enmity, fight, jealousy, conspiracy – only darkness.

I had the 2nd type only.

After passing the 10th, at home inside the family, problems escalated to the peak. – My life came under threat.     Even my existence was in question.

Under tremendous mental stress, my studies came halted! – Every day and night was filled with fear only – fright all the time .......

Exactly that was wanted by my housemates – the so-called relatives of mine!

Some years! went away from my life!

Being destroyed, gradually, in fear - pain - anger - loneliness ......   I became almost a non-living!  - Lifeless!

Much for insolvency and much for careless neglect, my father, did not try to shift our residing to someplace else. My father, mother   anybody   did not stand beside me! Did not inspire me!    - Uncaring!

By that time only increasing all my pain, she also left me – Kabli – my first love!

I drowned in pitch darkness.

O God!

IN THAT PHASE ONLY, another day, another hard strike was awaiting me, I didn’t know.

- It was the approaching evening; the dusk was just over. On my return to home from outside, found that a lot of people – almost a crowd – relatives. – One my cousin, little less than me of age, had passed the 12th standard, with good results, had come to the house.  So they had come to advertise the good news, their success, to celebrate.

In rushing steps, avoiding the crowd, I fled to my own room, in stealth rather – to escape from shame, pain ............of my own failure ... of life.

I entered my room only to find that successful cousin there (!), lying on my bed only!   - As soon as I entered, he gave such a gibing look and smile!

-  A sharp knife pierced my heart! – I felt.

Very next moment my low but rock-hard voice told him to leave!

- Laughing,   he went out.

...... Gradually, my excitement cooled down. And then .........I felt

the heart, twisted.  In pain. ............ eyes ran outside through the window, and a strange happened!

- Just then  slowly it began,  ..... raining !!

From my inside, as if by itself came out –

If there is no one,

THE SKY STILL

has tears for me

- Even you ! O my love

If even you do not feel for me

In your tears

The sky still   showers

In drops of tears

for me ..... ! Only for me!

Don’t you see?

THE SKY RAINS, BUT, for me!

Only for me ! ...............

In this way, I was decaying, in grief.  Then someday, I realised a horrible truth!

- I am alone!

-  I have no one, in this whole world!

............ and so, if I remain thus caught in this mesmerized by grief of failure and loneliness,   decaying thus   I will be finished soon – I will die!

But I want to live !

SO BEGAN ANOTHER TOUGH, pathetic but die-hard struggle,    But in grave secrecy!

- Bearing Thousands of insult lip-tight, while almost failing in body and mind but still striving to – to prepare to pass the 12th standard.

This time, father gave some help – bringing, as well as submitting, Council forms and such official works; he carried away for me. But still neither he nor Ma, in a real meaning gave any inspiration or mental support!

To make the almost dead mind, brain again active, alert – to make again a dead-frustrated mind and body again war-able (!) – how much impossible a work it is – he shall never realise who has not done it himself!

So the Result happened as it could only be.

Ultimately, secretly, passed the 12th standard!  But with very poor scores.

This time, there remained no other option for me but to take admission in the  so-called Arts faculty – in the sadness of leaving my favourite genre of Science.

Only faint light of hope, of happiness was – whatever, at least at last I will become a university graduate! – The finest reply to those who pinched me, pierced me in these years ..............!

- I did not know!  - I did not have the slightest idea that   all my concepts, ideas .......... about life, about education, about the world of knowledge, all will change totally!    For so long, where did I remain?

In darkness of what unknowingness?

Especially History, in the expanse, depth, mystery of her contents mesmerized me!       I simply did not know, Study of History is   so different at   College-graduation level     from the boring mugging up at the school level!

It is no forceful memorizing torture to remember dates and dynasties as the school-students experience.   – Logic, arguments, evidence .............. it is an investigating subject, just like the so-called Science subjects!

Gradually, I even realised, no subject is self-sufficient;

nor is completely isolated from other subjects!  

- One subject is related with other subjects!

Even the knowledge of Physics is useful for the actual explanation of ancient hymns (!), explained otherwise!

To speak the truth, actually, I became overwhelmed, speechless when I realised that, with the knowledge of my favourite subject, Physics, I could realise the actual inner meanings of the ancient hymns!   - I realised that the ongoing translations of many hymns are not the real meaning of them. – Rather, many discoveries of modern science were already told in ancient times but in different technique, in different approach!!

- And what not! Even theory of Black hole,  Big Bang ............. even Oscillating Universe theory !!   Relativity!!

Even before I was able to digest these realizations, discoveries; a question arose in mind which gradually covered the entire perimeter of my curiosity – Then, the history we know ............ rather we are told, is that right?  Or not?

I also realised that, to understand the ancient knowledge, it is needed to have deep knowledge, with clear understanding, of the modern science too!

Because they lack this, so the general historians with their present curriculum of studies, training, are unable to understand the real meanings of ancient wisdom.

But as I could just finish my graduation from the university, even before the results were out, Father fell sick and then was revealed to be suffering from cancer!

And then after some months, failing all my desperate efforts to make him live, he passed away.

Already troubled me sank into the deepest of troubles along with my helpless mother!

– I had to earn our living. – So, patiently and with great hopes, I completed the designing course I had already enrolled in and ventured to have a profession in the line.

That is why, thought, I would find out the unrevealed past, her lost ocean of knowledge, wisdom – I would Research.     

And side by side, for the living, for earning,   for solvency,  and for my liking –  I would take up the profession of designing .... – Designing Space!

– Arranging the three dimensions  for living, working .... Habitation .... along with extra dimensions like pleasure, colour, form, function .....     – Architecture, furniture, lights ....  designing the living 

– in the joy of creating new!

- Very beautiful, na? – My dreams?

- Only if God also had agreed!

The gap between the cup and lips has remained only,   being infinite –

I am still thirsty!

- This is why, I am like this, like Me! Anirban!

||Chapter 4||

AGAIN IT IS THE DUSK, by the Ganga. On one step of the stairs, was seated, alone.

Was thinking .............!  What to do?

- What, can I do?

What works are there that I can do? So that any of them I can take as profession.

- Carefully I was thinking.

I can create paintings    – but in this profession of designing,

I already have experienced the results, the pinch. 

Getting established in the world of pictures on canvas, of Fine Arts!

- More bold and penetrating marketing, will be needed.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ 

N——O HOPE!

Then?

-  N-e-x-t – ............

Singing? Being a professional singer?

Till now, never could resolve this mystery, how to get a call to perform in the musical concert, cultural programs!

Also, where shall I get Musicians to accompany? To rehearse?

Sound system? – Microphone, speaker, mixer ....... ?

One or two known faces around, I heard, charge money, even to rehearse!

- Money.

THAT IS THE MAIN THING I don’t have!

Some once or twice, went to the governmental radio broadcasting station, for audition – The front office told to send in a written application. Came back and sent.

Never got a call!

Some time back, many singers used to get their first break by auditioning in big music companies and got established.  Where are those opportunities now?

Rather, have heard, that after recording songs spending own money, if can give some good amount to the music companies nowadays, they do the marketing of your album. – Now this is the scenario!   

- Be it song. Be it writing.

- I don’t have money.

So, these are not to happen.

Then?

Call centre?

VERY LESS MONEY, MOSTLY night shifts, actually no hope for advancement. And in my attempts to get a job in call centre I have been told I am over qualified, I have better prospect in other fields .... blah blah blah! 

- Prospect!  I need damn earning. Give me that.         Without money, I will not survive.

- Can it be told in job interview?

- The hurting truth is, this world gives everything to those, who have!

And does not want give to those who do not have!! 

If the world comes to know  that your stomach is unfed for three days,     it will not ask you to take some food!

If you are well fed,    the world will ask you to have some more!

So to get a job, you have to pretend that you have!!    Have livelihood, have a good life!

If you say you are poor, you need a job immediately ...... you are gone! At least you then cannot expect a decent offer! however qualified, capable you are! – Rules of life (!), rather society.

And? What is the personal outcome? Of this type of job? Throughout the shift I have to talk with unknown unseen people. At the end what do I do?   I am a creative person.  

Still, for the need of money, I tried some places but all frustrating.   – Once I was asked by the interviewer to sell a phone to her! She just put her phone on the table and told me to sell it to her.

- I could not!

But these are demands of the job!

- Once in a call centre interview we were shown the happy life in the company in a tiringly repeated video showing how their employees enjoyed – some people in the video were dancing Bhangra in lungi!

And in the interview the first thing was told that our duty schedule will be at least ten hours a day!

– Then, when their employees found time to dance in lungi?!

Once I even got appointed!  Very big company in BPO. Only small thing was, our pay was very small!  After going in their centrally air conditioned, automatic glass-doored, plush decorated interiors for a few days only, I could not resist,   quitting! 

Still those few days’ salary is due!    I did never go back! Could not like!  The corporate culture!

Always hungry (!) people,  always competing!  For that, doing sycophancy, on the other, becoming fiercely    acting against  colleague, backbiting.... backstabbing .....

Other Corporate house? Other kind of job?

WITHOUT M.B.A.? – IN this time? Definitely will be in much lower level – but even that  ...... without even a degree in Commerce or Science? 

- This is another thing – corporate fashion these days!

- Degree in Management! Earlier people could not work?    Were there not business of billions?  But with personnel without degree in Management!

And why not?

Whichever qualifications you have, when you join a company newly, it arranges to train you in their work-systems.

And the reality is, any general university graduate in any of the courses can take up that new learning.  - That is the fruit of general education.

To learn some set patterns of works is not so very difficult that a university graduate or even a sincere, intelligent man or woman with lesser degree cannot do!

But this is now corporate fashion – called trend!

And to do a degree in business management again, some enormous money is needed!  Also time!   Two years at least!

I have none!

- Then?

Government job? - Being a university graduate in any discipline is the eligibility to sit in the qualifying examinations.

- In all these years did I not try?  Did. ...........

But the process is infinitely lengthy. And after one or two years if at the last phase you are out?    So that is also feasible only for those coming from solvent background, or simply  lucky!

I am neither!

Moreover, from my situation? It is so difficult. – Just when was going out for an exam, a fight started with someone in the family, even with my not so sane mother! – And so many times it happened!  Sometimes I simply cancelled my going!

Still, once cleared the first round of written test in the prestigious government executive service recruitment!    Sat in next round exam also and very much felt that I would qualify!    After long wait when results came out in form of list with roll numbers, I saw a strange thing!  - Just my roll number is there in that list of qualified candidates except the last digit! – Only the last digit was different!

I still don’t know  if it was a clerical mistake or not!

Where is light there? Darkness shrouds everything for me!

Serving in some organization as a Designer?

Job as a designer?  - In most of the companies, in here, the job has no security, low pay, absurdly long work hours and workload.

Moreover,

Tell me one thing – is it possible to create,  while working under somebody?

Creation without freedom? Creating on someone else’s instructions?

The freedom-loving soul of an artist revolts even when the stomach is burning!!

I was not sure. But still had to try for such job also.

Again, most of the firms offered very little pay and huge workload! 

In one place, the Chief Architect became rather frightened after seeing my portfolio of designs!!   And he desperately tried to establish that my drawings were not much good while his were excellent.     – I had gone for job. So I did not protest and remained silent.   But still I did not get the job!

Irony is,  his drawings really were quite inferior to mine!

In another place, the aged architect cum proprietor thought my skills were excellent and so he thought he could not offer me a matching pay! 

- Where to go? I need a job!

Ultimately, I secured a good offer in one firm. But then I fell severely ill for couple of months for the overdoing in my previous efforts of freelancing, I have told already.      So could not join there!

Actually there is another thing also.  Nowadays the firms, even individual clients are asking for computerised, computer-aided designs.

I learned CAD too. But I cannot afford my own computer.

Moreover what rarely one may understand,    I prefer hand-drawn drawings so much over CAD – in architectural and interior designs and not for nothing!

- The beauty possible to create by hand-drawn techniques is much superior to that of the plastic rendering in computer!

But the market does not understand that   feeling!

And I so deeply dislike this choice of the market!

Michelangelo is less preferred now to the toolbox’s creation!

As Photographer?

I was a good photographer, learning on my own, through books, through practice and experiments.    I became skilled in determining exposure adjustments, controlling f-numbers and shutter-speed in my SLR camera while focussing fast manually and composing the good frames.

A good camera, inexpensive although. With basic features and a very good optical lens.   So?

No way.

Russian make, cheap in price but was good in quality and I could manoeuvre it to the best way possible!

But then has happened   the digital revolution! In photography too.  My old friend, companion is a manually operated film camera.   

The technology has just gone obsolete!

And the new technology is just beyond my capacity.

Not in terms of photography or technology but price!  Money.

I can’t afford the digital photography kit to buy.

Dhussss! My head!  - Then what is there that I can do?

To calm down the disturbed, worried mind, stopped thinking!

Dhoo – ooo – ooor!

In front is lying  the sky - far, far away.   In that largeness, as if,   on a very large canvas,     the slow movements ......... of the floating clouds.    Much closer than them     is their image reflecting on the river water..............

Ahh !  Feels so pleasing!

............ pleasing ............... to see. ........... it feels so soothing!

.....Feeling good ......? Right?  What? Else?

Feeling good. – na? means .............. liking.  Right?

There is something more na, that I like? And ............ that is .......

History  – bygone times ............. lost times ........... civilizations ......... knowledge ............ mystery .......! ............. And I am its investigator!  - it is for this that   even in so much pain,     even after so much deprive, troubles,       after gap of some years still,          I sat in M.A. examination – in Part 1 – and have passed also – still the Part 2 is left.

Yes! ..... and what is that that I can do?

- All of a sudden, I realised – Yes!  I can talk!  In the subject of my liking!

So! What is the utility of that ability? Why?   To Teach! To let others know!

Yes! I can !   I can do this.  Even inducing my own interest, in the subject, on others, I do time and time again!

And that is .............. Teaching!

The work of the Teacher!  - Right?

Suddenly I felt,  I have got a way. – Right! Apart from creating art,     apart from chasing alone behind lost civilizations by the trail of clues,     I can do this also.   And can do well!

All of a sudden, in the frustrated mind of mine, a wave of excitement ran throughout!

What is the work of a Teacher?

-TO PRESENT THE SUBJECT to the students, attractively! and make them understand!

- And I can do that! And can do well! – In the circle of known people, with friends, with just-introduced people ............. I do this, often .... in the name of discussion .......... in the name of debate! Often!

Enthused with hope, I looked up, towards the sky!  - Where?

- In College?

Next moment thought, - why?

Why not the highest level? University!

No, no. It is no snobbery,  I am no snob! But the standard I have climbed,   the deep I have penetrated ............. in the subject, for my curiosity ................ I do not only read – I think.    I search.

- I am a Searcher,  Investigator – Analyst.

It is very true that I have been doing,  Research.

- Even in this tremendous insolvency,   days after days ............. in the mornings, .............. in the evenings ............. pouring hot tea in the starving stomach, in failed attempt to kill the burning of hunger in stomach,     remaining in faded-coloured shirts and trousers with threads coming out, I went on buying Books – one after one!  - For what?

- For seeking Answers to those questions  which are not found in the text books.   For them!

So I buy – study – think – realise – write.

And those so many books and magazines are out of reach with their price tag,  for them I go on roaming,  in the libraries of the city.

And there I take out the needed gems – do Xerox .............. And in this way,  is going on still,  my cultivation  of knowledge  - driven by my hunger for knowing!

And in this way the treasure I have accumulated, how many can match that?

Right!

A shiver of joy rolled through me entirely!

Ahh!

GOT. THE WAY.

Was staring at the dusk-sky, in joy of the discovery!

................. slowly, a realization grew up, from small to large – a gradually increasing ............. Darkness.

In the scale of degrees, .............. my Master’s degree is yet not obtained, na?

Then .............. in university ........ Teaching ...........

will not happen.

As if mind whispered in mind – is this still the time of great men like Ashutosh?     

That he will appoint a Graduate to teach in the Post-Graduate class?

Because, he felt that the person Ramaprasad Chanda had that capability even without the degree!

Ramaprasad later became a famous historian with credible authority, still without a Master degree in the subject! and proved Ashutosh was right in relying upon him!

Frustrated mind mine,  cried –  Where ?  are those men now?

None is!  Nowhere!

So mine, ..... is not going to be possible.

At least, not at this moment.  After passing the Master’s degree, if may...

But, I need a job, now only.

Otherwise it will be, death.......  Mine,   along with the dependent lady – Ma   also.

||Chapter 5||

THE SHADOW OF APPROACHING Death is enlarging in the worried mind of mine!  I am feeling more and more restless.    Am wanting to do anything to stop this horrible fate!    To live!

But if all the doors come closed, ............. In the helpless mind now emerged fear .....    fright    of death!    Mind is wishing to cry out like a child ........... !    Only my desperate manhood is trying resist that.     But what?  is the way?    Oh God!

The far off sky .............. has gone deep, dark. – In that,   only a last golden ray is still there ...........!

When,  I don’t know  the frightened mind mine

stopped running  – that far off golden line of light ............. All of a sudden ...... as if someone ............ a wave of thought   ......... swam in mind towards me

– for now, adjust Anirban! In so much of troubles have to live, na?

............... let it not be in university or college, ...........

Try for Teaching in school!  For now!?

After a little late, before even could notice, when the sky darkened finally for the night,

a decision also was taken  -  I shall be a Teacher  in school.

.............. At least, for now.

||Chapter 6||

BEGAN TO WALK TOWARDS home.  - I have to think.

One, how to get a job in school.

And secondly,............ what are needed to be a good teacher?

|| Chapter 7 ||

SITTING BY MY TABLE, was thinking.

What qualities are needed to be a good teacher?

- When I was a student, what did I expect from the teacher?

Whom did I like?   Why did I like?

Earlier, I never realised that the question is so difficult! - Now to search through the memories    now I find     ....school, ..... School-Board examination, then class11 & 12, college .........    favourite,   dear teacher?

No one?!

All through the memory, only almost forgotten teachers!    - Uninterested, unwilling, careless, boring, depthless, opportunist, selfish, ... frightening ......!!

Only one!  Only one person is twinkling in the mist of forgotten memories of teachers.

- T.C.  No.  Not Transfer Certificate!

Name was Mr Tapanendu Chuckerbertty – T.C., sir.

Six feet tall, fair, robust physique  with an aged but smiling handsome lively face with wide forehead and thinned but still black hair and specs, glowing with intelligence, – T.C., sir.

- Teacher of English. Baritone sweet voice with excellent British accent.  - So attractively he taught a dry subject like grammar ............... is beyond imagination!

From childhood, I was frightened of this foreign language. But in school from class five the beginning of learning English was done with this extraordinary teacher.

Quickly my fear went away and came attraction! Interest! – for Sir only.

When I met Sir, he had already crossed fifty.  In that age, with that huge physique and smile, Sir was jumping (!) inside the class!! – I am jumping.

Through the row of desks Sir was lightly running! – I am running. Wow! Learning is so much of fun!!  - Could not resist loving.  The teacher. And also the subject.  - Because learning with him was so much of fun!

How extraordinary, attractive pronunciation – and he taught how to pronounce.

Structure