Nowhere Left to Hide

By Kat Mizera

Nothing will ever be the same.

Erik knew that the only way to protect them was to let them go. But watching Casey move on nearly destroyed him. Loving her and his child from the shadows shattered his heart.

With new threats on the horizon, he has to come back into the light. More than that, it's time to claim what's his: His woman. His kingdom. His life.

But when the past starts to repeat itself, there is nowhere left to hide.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bryant Street Publishing
• Release date: Nov 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781094428420

Kat Mizera

USA Today Bestselling author Kat Mizera was born in Miami Beach with a healthy dose of wanderlust. She's lived from coast to coast, and everywhere in between, but home is wherever her family is. A devoted mom and wife to her wonderful and supportive husband (Kevin) and two amazing boys (Nick and Max), Kat loves to travel the globe with her adventurous, hockey loving family. Greece is at the top of that list. She hopes to one day retire there, spending her days writing books on the beach. Kat is former freelance sports writer who now writes steamy hockey romance about her favorite fictional teams, the Las Vegas Sidewinders and the Alaska Blizzard. The library of novels she's penned also include sexy contemporary stories about baseball stars, alpha sex club owners, special forces heroes, rock stars, and royalty. Regardless of genre, her books about bad boys with hearts of gold will steal your breath, rock your world, and melt your heart.

Book preview

1

Casey

The sounds in the room were almost inaudible, but it was enough to penetrate my haze of pain. The slight beeping of a heart monitor, whispered voices nearby, and the rustle of clothing as someone brushed past me. I struggled to open my eyes, fighting my way out of sleepiness. Finally, I managed to force them open and saw dim lights and cloudy faces. Someone was talking to me.

Casey, can you hear me? It’s Nick. Come on, honey, can you wake up?

I focused on his voice and finally blinked into awareness. Nick, where am I? What happened?

You’re in the hospital. There was an accident.

Jayson… My voice trailed off as I looked at Nick. His side—is he okay?

Nick took a breath. He’s in rough shape, he said at last. But he’s alive.

Oh, god.

The enormity of this kind of accident hit me and my heart kicked into gear. Nick, the kids. I tried to sit up but he grabbed my hand and gently squeezed. They’re with Skye and my parents. They don’t know anything yet, just that there was an accident.

Have you called my mother?

She and Uncle Matt are on their way. They were in Palm Springs, but they’ll be here within the hour. My mother had been dating Nick’s uncle Matt.

I have to talk to Jay. I started to sit up but pain shot through my left side and I let out a small shriek of pain.

You broke your left collarbone and cracked a few ribs. You’ve also got a mild concussion, so they want to watch you overnight. You’re not going anywhere.

I have to see Jayson and then be with the kids.

They’re all fine. I’ll be back in the morning and we’ll talk, okay? Just stay here tonight and let the doctors monitor you. It’s already after midnight, so the kids are probably in bed anyway.

Not. I smiled weakly. I’m sure they’re keeping Skye busy.

She can handle it.

Nick, don’t leave. I closed my eyes, suddenly completely drained. Tell me what happened.

We don’t know for sure. I was hoping you could tell me.

We were stopped at a red light. We were talking about our future—he was starting to tell me about some woman he’s been seeing. I saw headlights coming from the cross street and then our light turned green, but he wanted to finish what he was saying. I don’t think there was anybody behind us, and then this truck just barreled through the intersection and came straight for us. It hit his side of the car head-on. The last thing he told me was that Erik is still alive. I met his gaze. Do you have any fucking idea what he’s talking about?

I was sure he would say no, but the look in his eyes told me something else and my chest squeezed painfully. Instead of answering me, though, he deflected.

The police say the truck that hit you was going more than eighty miles per hour. Unfortunately, the truck was stolen and the driver was killed. His name hasn’t shown up in any of their databases yet; he seems to have been drunk. It was probably just a freak accident but…

But? My eyes met his steadily, despite how tired I was. Could this have had something to do with Jay’s gambling?

It better not. Nick spoke in an even tone. I took care of that with him this morning. If Filippo came after him even though we paid him with interest, fair and square, there will be trouble in the land of local loan sharks.

Oh, fuck, what am I going to tell the kids? They don’t know anything about this, but it’s bound to hit the news.

Skye isn’t letting them get online or near a TV. Don’t worry.

What the fuck is going on?! I turned tired, bleary eyes to him. I need to see him.

Casey, he’s in ICU. He’s in bad shape. He can’t talk to you.

God dammit! I glared at him and started sitting up again, despite the pain shooting through me.

Okay, stop. Just stop! He ran a hand through his tousled dark hair and then sank into the chair next to my hospital bed. I’ll tell you what I know, but you can’t get upset. You have a concussion. Promise me you’ll be calm.

Is Erik alive? I was so shaken, so completely flabbergasted, I didn’t know what to say.

Yes.

And you’ve known all this time? I went from shocked to furious in a nanosecond, my eyes narrowing as my breath started to come faster.

I didn’t have a choice. He lowered his eyes. It’s a long story, Casey, and this isn’t the time to get into it.

No, I agreed, gritting my teeth through the pain that ricocheted through my torso as I forced myself to a sitting position. The time to get into it was, oh, I don’t know…eleven fucking years ago?! My voice rose several octaves and he shook his head.

Look, don’t do that. Please.

Don’t do what? Ask you why the fuck you let me suffer all these years? Tell you something you should already fucking know? Are you serious right now?

I’m sorry. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, meeting my gaze guiltily. Maybe I fucked up, maybe I didn’t, but we did what we thought was right to keep you safe.

Do you realize Luke figured out who his father is? I asked bluntly. "Today. He fucking figured it out from sixth grade fucking biology and an overzealous preteen in his journalism class. He figured that shit out on his own and you’ve let me wallow in secrecy for more than a decade. Is that your definition of friendship?"

My definition of friendship has been keeping you and that boy alive all these years! he shot back. My definition of friendship includes becoming a father to a kid that wasn’t mine in order to save his life. That’s how I define friendship.

I was too upset to listen and held up my hand. "Stop. That wasn’t my doing—that was what Erik wanted. Did anyone stop to think what I wanted?"

You were pregnant and—

And what? Hormonal? Emotional? Mentally disabled?

No, but you were never going to agree to do what was safest, so we made the hard decisions.

And letting me think he was dead? Whose idea was that?

His.

And once again, you just agreed?

I had no choice, dammit. He got to his feet and started to pace at the foot of my bed. I had to protect you, and by that time, we were married and you’d already had the baby. That kid was mine the minute I set eyes on him. I was there from before he was born and I wasn’t going to let anything happen to him.

You made all those unilateral decisions—both you and Erik—without me. This hurt me so much I couldn’t come up with the right words to explain how I was feeling. It felt like the ultimate betrayal. Not just by Nick, but by Erik. And Jayson. My husband. How the fuck did Jay know when I didn’t?

I’m sorry. We were protecting you and Luke. That was all we cared about. I honestly have no clue how Jay found out, though.

That’s what I’m wondering.

I’ll be back in the morning and we’ll talk to him, find out what’s going on.

Where is he, Nick?

Nick stuffed his hands in his pockets and met my eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. He knew I wasn’t asking about Jayson since I obviously already knew where he was.

Nick. I kept my voice steady despite the hammering in my ears.

Monte Carlo, he said quietly.

I dozed on and off through the night, pain and pain meds alternately waking and putting me to sleep. My dreams were full of nightmares, though, and when the nurse came at six in the morning to take my vital signs, I didn’t go back to sleep.

Would you be able to take me to see my husband? I asked her quietly.

The nurse looked skeptical. Ms. Hart, you have a broken collarbone, broken ribs, and a concussion. It’s best for you to stay in bed.

I can check myself out of the hospital, I told her. I’m not trying to be difficult, but my husband was badly hurt and I need to see him.

She nodded. All right. Give me a few minutes to get a wheelchair.

I waited for her to return and winced as she disconnected my IV and helped me into the wheelchair. We rode in silence down to the ICU and she rolled me into a room.

I’ll give you a few minutes, she said, but you need to be back in bed.

Thank you. I slowly got up and took a couple of steps to his bedside, resting a hand on his bruised face. He was covered in dried-on blood, with a cast on one arm and a bandage on his forehead. My mother had come by after Nick left and told me Jayson had ruptured his spleen, broken his arm and a couple of ribs, and had a few other injuries I couldn’t remember now. The pain meds they’d given me had kicked my ass, but I was done with that now. I’d suffer through whatever pain I was in because I had to be strong for the kids and probably for Jay as well. Even if I was furious at him.

I gently brushed his hair to the side and looked around for something I could clean him with. As angry and frustrated as I was, we’d spent the last decade together and seeing him hurt this badly was hard to look at. Even with my headache and the pain burning in my shoulder from the broken collarbone, I didn’t want him to lie here like this. Especially if the kids were going to see him.

Can I help you, miss? A brusque nurse came in, eyeing me warily.

I’m his wife, I said, turning to her. Can I have something to clean him up with?

Oh, Mrs. Keller, I’m sorry. Yes, of course. Please sit down. I’ll be right back and we can do it together. She bustled off and I scowled but I couldn’t blame her. As celebrities, there would be a note in our files that we were off-limits to random visitors. My room was private, but here in the ICU, Jay was more susceptible.

The nurse came back with pre-soaped cloths, a small bucket with warm water, and some clean towels. Since I was only using one arm, she washed his hands and arms in the warm water and I gently worked on his face, memories of the last ten years flooding my brain as we cleaned him up.

I couldn’t pinpoint when our marriage had started to fall apart, but I had a good idea why. For the last five years, I’d had no time to think about anything except our career and the children. Jay and I lived and worked together, but the romantic part of our relationship had faded away relatively quickly, morphing into something resembling a friends-with-benefits relationship. We had sex, but the romance and intimacy weren’t what they’d been initially, and certainly not what they could have been. While all our friends were falling in love, getting married and starting families, we plodded along with our brood, overlooking our troubles and focusing on what the children needed.

It had worked for a while, but not anymore. I was ashamed to admit I’d stopped trying, but that was the truth and now I was going to pay the price for that if Jay left or, god forbid, died. The twins were turning seven, Sasha was in college, and Luke was eleven, so Jay and I were beginning to notice just how little was left between us that didn’t have to do with music or the kids. It was a bit pathetic, but I had no one else to blame. That was the worst part of it.

Jay moaned and his eyes fluttered open.

Hey. I spoke softly, cupping his cheek.

Where… His voice croaked and he coughed.

Easy. The nurse brought over a cup of water and put the straw in his mouth. He took a sip and laid his head down again.

What happened? he asked.

We were in a car accident, I said. Do you remember anything?

We were… He frowned. We made pizza and played games.

Then we went for ice cream. Do you remember leaving to get ice cream?

His eyes met mine wearily. No.

It’s okay. I stroked his hair. You’ve been pretty heavily sedated so I’m sure it’ll all come back.

He nodded, his eyes closing again.

We finished cleaning him as best we could without moving him too much and I sank into a chair in exhaustion. My whole body hurt, I had a headache and I wanted to go home, but I had to hang in there a little longer. I had to deal with the kids, our families, doctors and probably the press. And all I could think about was taking a trip to Monte Carlo.

2

Erik

I spent a lot of my time in bed staring at the dark ceiling. It was six in the morning and I was wide awake, something that happened a lot, even though I’d only gotten to bed a few hours before. Beside me, I heard Liz snoring softly. It had been a late night for both of us. Friday nights were always busy at the casino and it had been more crowded than usual last night. With a sigh of frustration, because I knew there would be no more sleep for me, I got out of bed and quietly went into the bathroom. I put on shorts, a T-shirt and socks before slipping out into the kitchen. We’d turned the top floor of the hotel into one huge penthouse, so except for the windows on almost all sides and the elevator in the middle of the foyer, it was like living in an expensive high-rise condominium.

Liz and I shared a beautiful master bedroom, Leni had her own room, there were two guest bedrooms as well as an office, an eat-in kitchen, a formal dining room and a massive, combined living/family room. Although it was slightly unorthodox compared to other families, there were a lot of perks to living in a hotel. The gym was just a short elevator ride away, as was the pool, a number of restaurants, and shopping of all kinds. There was valet parking, banquet halls, and entertainment galore. Of course, there were also the casino and bars, which wasn’t always an ideal place for a precocious nine-year-old, but Leni had grown up in this hotel, so she wasn’t all that impressed with drinking, gambling or other adult behavior.

Downing a glass of orange juice, I took the elevator down to the gym and was glad to find it empty. Although I didn’t usually mind seeing guests of the hotel in the gym, sometimes I wasn’t in the mood to be social, and this was one of those times. Seven o’clock on a Saturday morning was thankfully not the most popular time for people on vacation to exercise.

Getting on the elliptical machine, I turned on the news and started my workout. I was in good shape, but it took some work to stay this way. At thirty-six, I still felt young and vital, but I often wondered how long it would last. Sometimes it felt like my life was nothing but one long roller-coaster ride. I’d unwittingly become an agent for the CIA because of events out of my control, and the CIA had agreed to keep me away from field work as long as I was available to help with anything to do with Limaj or providing a safe house of sorts to other agents when they needed it. The hotel was centrally located to Europe, Africa and the Middle East, so it appeared to be perfect for that role.

Of course, like all good plans, things didn’t go the way we wanted them to. Our marriage wasn’t working out any better than my attempt to live a normal life, and sometimes I just wanted to run as far away from this life as I could. It wasn’t that I didn’t love Liz and Leni. They were a wonderful family. Leni was smart, funny and growing up to be a raving beauty like her mother—despite the fact that she was adopted. She had long honey-blond hair, big blue eyes and a pert little nose. Liz, ironically, could have been her biological mother with how alike they were.

The problem, I thought with regret, was that Liz and I had both come into this marriage with baggage. A lot of baggage. In all honesty, we were both so romantically damaged we should have just called it a day long ago. Knowing the love of my life was out there, completely unaware I was still alive, fucked with my head on a daily basis. Liz and I had come together in a mass of tangled feelings, mangled emotions and generally broken hearts. We’d decided we were willing to work on finding what we’d lost with others, and that even if we couldn’t, being miserable together had to be better than going it alone. In some ways we’d been right, but in a lot of ways, we’d been dead wrong.

Ten years later, neither of us had any misconceptions that we were in love. In fact, we were probably more like brother and sister than husband and wife at this point. It wasn’t a terrible way to live, but it wasn’t a great way either. There had to be something better out there, but if there was, I certainly had no idea where. I met gorgeous women of all ages both at the hotel and while traveling, but none held any appeal other than the occasional stirring in my pants that quickly faded. My heart, unfortunately, was stoically impassive. If I couldn’t love my wife, I was pretty sure I couldn’t love anyone else. I thought she felt the same way, but in the last year she’d gotten quieter than usual, and it didn’t seem prudent to ask her why.

I’d considered tapping into her phone and computer, but the sad truth was that I didn’t love her enough to put the energy into being jealous. We didn’t sleep together, after all, so it was only natural she found that kind of satisfaction elsewhere. The truth, if I wanted to be honest with myself, was that it might almost be a relief if she found someone else.

I pushed the button to stop the machine and was wiping my face with a towel when an announcer from CNN caught my attention. And from Las Vegas, Nevada, tonight, frightening news in the world of rock and roll. Jayson Keller, lead singer of the platinum-selling rock band Pretty Harts, and his wife, lead guitarist Casey Hart, were in a car accident last night. He was reportedly driving his Porsche 911 Carrera when they were hit by a drunk driver while at a red light in a suburb of Las Vegas. The driver of the other car was killed and both Keller and Hart were hospitalized. While Keller is in critical condition, Hart is in serious but stable condition, purportedly nursing a broken collarbone and a concussion.

I stared at the screen in horror and then grabbed my keys and sprinted up the stairs back to our penthouse.

Liz was at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee and going through email. She looked up and smiled when I came in. Good morning. How was your workout?

It was okay. Listen, something— I was cut off as the house phone, which was connected to the hotel, rang.

I picked it up, frowning. Yes?

Mr. Baxter, you have a guest, the front desk told me. Mr. Ace Ross. Shall I send him up?

Of course. Thank you.

I put down the phone and looked at her. Ace is here.

He is? She looked confused. How come?

I don’t know for sure but… Have you seen the news?

The news? She blinked, shaking her head. No, I took a shower and just sat down to check my email.

Have you heard anything from Las Vegas?

Vegas? She frowned at me. No, why? What’s going on?

I headed into the living room and turned on the TV just as the door bell sounded. Liz answered it and she and Ace hugged warmly as he came in.

Hey, Scott. He shook my hand. He was a big guy, over six feet tall and a solid two hundred pounds of muscle. His reddish-blond hair had grown out some since the last time I’d seen him, and it made him look younger.

What are you doing here? Liz asked as we settled into the living room.

There was an accident in Las Vegas last night—it’s been all over the news. Ace spoke quietly.

Who? she asked.

Jayson and Casey were in a bad car accident, I told her quietly. Jay’s in rough shape and Casey’s pretty banged up, but she’s going to be okay.

She looked at me with a strange expression on her face. Are you sure? That can’t be right. She was looking from me to Ace and back again.

It is. Ace nodded. I spoke to Nick a couple of hours ago and he confirmed.

But, but… Her voice faltered and she ran to the kitchen.

We followed in confusion and found her clicking on something on her computer.

What’s wrong, hon? I asked with concern. Her face had gone ashen and her hands were trembling.

He, he just sent me an email! she protested. She found it and pointed to the time signature: 10:15 a.m. Friday morning, Pacific Standard Time. That would mean it had been dinnertime here in Monte Carlo. Dinnertime yesterday.

She was still staring down at the list of emails and I zeroed in on the subject line.

Is there something I should know? I asked her softly.

She met my gaze guiltily and I was shocked to see tears in her eyes.

I, yes… Oh fuck. She clicked on the email to open it and then got up and left the room.

What’s going on? Ace asked. He came and stood next to me, reading over my shoulder.

To: [e-mail]

From: [e-mail]

Subject: I love you!

Hey, babe. It’s Friday morning and I’m getting ready to leave the studio and hit a meeting. Nick is going to meet me there and then we’re going to pay off that last creditor I told you about. I know you offered to lend me the money, but I decided I’ve let a woman cover me for long enough—I have to do this on my own. You understand, right? Because I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, beautiful, and I think I’ve finally figured out a way for us to do it. No one gets hurt, the kids won’t suffer, and even our most important secret doesn’t have to be compromised. What do you think of that?!

I’m going to talk to Casey as soon as everything is taken care of today, and Tuesday morning I plan to be on a plane to Monte Carlo so we can talk to Scott together. This is going to work—trust me on this. I know you’ve been hating the guilt, but that’s going to be a thing of the past starting next week. I love you, Lizzy, and you just wait and see how great things are going to be! Four days and counting until you’re in