Heaven

By Scott Tobias

Sam Butler is caught up in a war with himself, his business and his love relationships that come to a head as he continues to wonder “what really is it all about?” Magically it all comes together after a life changing accident. This book is a Spiritual Love Story that teaches that life can be more than just success and survival.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: May 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982268541

Scott Tobias

Scott Tobias’ career in real estate spanned over 40 years in sales, management and ownership. His lifelong passion has been in discovering and teaching how to live and love life from both a Spiritual and Inspirational consciousness. Through his business and his other passion travel, visiting four continents, Scott crafted a philosophy of life that is the core of this novel..

Book preview

HEAVEN

Scott Tobias

44224.png

Copyright © 2021 Scott Tobias.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means,

graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by

any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author

except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

844-682-1282

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained

in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views

expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the

views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any

technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the

advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer

information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-

being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your

constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New

International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International

Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-6853-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-6854-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date:  05/18/2021

To the amazing women in my life:

My wife Darlene

Our four daughters – Caneel, Melissa, Taylor and Johnnie

And my sisters – Claudia and Janet

Contents

Book One

In the Beginning

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Book Two

God Created the Heavens

Day One

Day Two - Morning

Day Two – Afternoon

Day Two – Evening

Day Three – Morning

Day Three - Afternoon

Day Three – Evening

Day Four – Morning

Day Four - Afternoon

Day Four – Evening

Day Five – Morning

Book Three

…And the Earth

Author’s Note

BOOK ONE

In the Beginning

Sunday

S am sat at a small table on the sidewalk patio of Havana Grill. It was the Cuban Restaurant Anna and he used to go for breakfast on Sundays. They came here because she liked the Plantains, (fried bananas), and they both loved the atmosphere, a mixture of Caribbean and South American, their little corner of the world. They would walk in and the waiter would know them, not just because they went there often but wherever they went, people remembered them. They made a striking couple, but it was her that drew the attention. She not only was one of the most beautiful women he had ever known. but she had a charismatic appeal that made both men and women, gay or straight attracted to her. They would order mimosas and sit in the open-air restaurant watching people walk by. It was a good time in his life; they were in love, they lived in a paradise and they lived well.

Now he sat alone thinking of her. It was fall and the beach crowd had thinned out for the season. A waitress came over smiled and asked if he would like a menu.

No thanks just a glass of Chardonnay.

Of course, I’ll be right back with that.

No one recognized him now he thought, not without Anna, she was the star he was just the extra. While he waited for the wine Sam stared out at the beach. Havana Grill was on Washington Boulevard a half block from the beach. The south side of the street where he sat was Marina del Rey the north side, Venice Beach. You could walk virtually two blocks and see a totally different culture. That was what he loved about LA. The people walking by were an eclectic mixture of young and old, tourists and locals, wealthy and shabby. In a world where everyone judged each other, it seemed that here, no one judged. The differences made it interesting and besides, Sam thought, how can you be uptight when you are at the beach.

For Sam it always felt good here but as he sat thinking of Anna the old familiar ache began to fill his chest. He missed her and being here, where they had spent time together brought back a flood of memories. The memories were mostly good, the bad ones; the fights and the anger all seemed to have faded away and just the melancholy of good memories remained. Nastalje, he thought; the Portuguese term for a longing of something left unfulfilled. That was what he felt now. He considered how ironic it was that his eternal search for a soul mate would ultimately lead him to be alone. It was often the same; an attraction, a hope that it would be mutual, the beginning; getting to know each other and then falling in love followed by the passion and the late-night phone conversations. It is all wonderful magic; you can’t get enough of each other and you can’t wait after you are apart to see each other again. It begins so exciting and ends so painfully. What difference does it make who ends it, it still hurts? And each ending always brings back the pain of each previous ending.

The waitress brought the wine. Sam lit a cigarette, his first of the day. He had started again after his divorce but was careful to only have a couple a day. As he sipped the wine he thought about when he first fell in love with Anna. It was over a year ago and he was at an office party at an Italian Restaurant in Playa del Rey. He didn’t remember the reason for the party but then that office liked to socialize and as the manager he encouraged any reason to socialize, it was good for morale. As the evening progressed and everyone was finishing dinner, she walked in. She was so beautifully elegant when she entered the room it seemed as if every head turned to stare. Sam watched her walking in, her chestnut hair flowing in waves over her shoulders and back. She had the face on an angel with smooth olive skin, large, radiant brown eyes and perfectly shaped lips. She looked much taller than her 5’4" height, walking in her stiletto heels with the confidence that comes from a lifetime of knowing that she looked good. She was with her mother who had recently arrived from Italy and who at seventy years was still a very striking woman. Sam stood to greet them, and they sat down at the two empty chairs next to his. Suddenly the evening that had been just another employee party, became something special. She could do that, Sam thought; make any moment special just with her presence. They began talking, the first time he had spoken to her socially, and by the end of the evening he knew he would give anything to spend more time with her. It never occurred to him that he would have a chance to make that happen and he tried to let the idea go but still he couldn’t stop thinking about her. But life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it and within a couple of weeks, they began an incredible love affair.

They spent every moment possible together; in LA restaurants and clubs; they traveled to Cancun, Las Vegas, Chicago and wherever they went they were movie stars. It was a glittering life and it felt good. She entered his life like an answer to a lifelong dream and he finally found peace. After his divorce from Christine and the subsequent dysfunctional relationships, he needed the peace; sweet Anna how he loved her.

The waitress appeared again to see if he would like another Chardonnay. No, thanks; just the check. The sun was still well above the horizon and it would be another hour before sunset. Sam decided to walk on the beach and then watch the sunset before driving back to Pasadena. Sue had invited him to have Sunday dinner, but he wasn’t in the mood. She was fun and a good friend. She wanted it to be more than that, but Sam was not ready to jump into another relationship. He punched in her number on his cell phone. Her musical voice said hello?

Hi.

Hi

I’m at the beach; I’m going to pass on dinner tonight.

Oh she said in a little girl disappointment. Come over, I was going to order Chinese, I was looking forward to company. We could watch a movie.

Not tonight, how about tomorrow?

There was a moment of silence, Sam was pretty sure she was used to getting her way and she didn’t know what to do next. Finally, she said, Ok, tomorrow, you promise?

I promise he smiled. He really did like her.

Stay out of trouble was her parting words.

He disconnected and thought about those words. Anna would have been jealous, almost sure if he didn’t show up it was because he was seeing another woman. Sue on the other hand was easy to be around, she was not jealous. Of course, she had no reason to be, they were not in a committed relationship and anyway he was not seeing anyone else.

He had to admit that he enjoyed her company. Sue was fun and they laughed a lot, she was quite wealthy from money her parents had left her and she lived in a beautiful home in Pasadena; close to where he was living now. He wondered why he couldn’t love someone like her. She would be perfect; she didn’t bust his ass about what he was doing, she was pretty and smart, and she obviously cared for him. There was just something missing. He didn’t know what it was; maybe after being married so many years to someone sweet and easy to be with he still needed that fire that Anna represented. You are one sick dude, Sam thought.

The waitress dropped the check on the table. Sam picked it up then put a ten-dollar bill down and walked to the sidewalk. He was sure he was still in love with Anna and that was the other reason he could not get into a new relationship. His heart was just worn out. As he walked toward the beach, he remembered that Monday at his office, the week after they had talked at the office party.

It was late in the afternoon and he was sitting at his desk checking files and thinking about Friday night as he had all weekend. He looked up and she was standing in the doorway of his office.

Buena Sera, Come esta? She smiled and Sam immediately got that weak feeling. He had to laugh at himself, he was in his late 40’s and he was reacting like he was 16.

Thank you, Sam for Friday Night. My mother had a nice time and said you are very nice and very handsome. She said, you have the azul eyes de Mare; blue ocean eyes.

She is very kind, Sam said, I was afraid she was bored since she didn’t really understand what we were saying.

She can entertain herself by watching people, she is very perceptive. She had fun…so did I. She said it with emphasis on the I.

Sam’s heart raced, without even thinking he said, Would you like to have lunch sometime?

Yes, that would be nice she said with the Italian accent that intrigued Sam even more.

Sam was encouraged, better yet how about dinner? God was that stupid, he thought.

Anna knew he was nervous; she was used to making men nervous but with a man like Sam it was a quality she liked. I would love to have dinner with you.

Sam could not have been more excited if he had just won the lottery. Every cell in his body was alive, tomorrow?

That’s fine but let me meet you there. I don’t like to confuse Antonio, my son.

They had decided on a small Italian restaurant near the Marina del Rey Theater on Maxilla called Pizza Di’Amo. Neither of them had eaten there and it was the only place Sam could think of under pressure. They met the next night; he arrived before her and took a table on the patio. It was August and the evening was not too cold. After a few minutes of watching people walk by, he saw her. His heart jumped and he wondered if he would ever feel comfortable with her. She is just another woman, he told himself although he wasn’t convinced. She saw him as she walked toward the door smiled and waved. If I only have this evening and nothing more, I will die a happy man, he thought.

The food was good, and the atmosphere was definitely Italian. The owners both were from Italy and Anna spoke to them in Italian which resulted in extra efficient service. As they ate, they shared their stories with each other. Anna had moved here from Rome at the age of 18. Her older brother, Josepi, had been accepted to UCLA and after much pleading she convinced her father to let her go with him. He didn’t believe I should go to college, only the boys. If it wasn’t for my mother stepping in, I would still be in Italy. She was the only one who could make my father do anything. He is, Testadura; hardheaded.

Anna and Josepi lived in Santa Monica for a while and she attended Santa Monica City College. She spoke very little English when she first arrived but caught on quickly and with an exceptionally sharp mind, managed to do well in school. She explained that she was constantly hit on by male students, but she had no interest in any kind of a relationship. It was just as well; her father had warned her that she was at school to get an education not to get involved with men. Josepi took on the role of her domineering father and watched her like a hawk. It was ok though, she wanted to go on to UCLA, graduate and show her father that she was as capable as her brother.

She was accepted the following year and it was at that time that Carlos, a friend of her brother, began spending more time with her than Josepi. At first it was just a friendship, he was easy to talk to, and she enjoyed their conversation. Soon, though, he became more serious and for the first time, Anna was confronted with a relationship dilemma. She liked Carlos but she did not love him. She had never been in love before and she didn’t even understand what it was, but she was sure it must be more than what she felt for him. Still, Carlos persisted and by her senior year she had resigned herself to the possibility of marriage. He was kind and he had a good job and his own house. He had big plans for their future, and if she married him, she would not have to return to Italy. She missed her family, but she loved Los Angeles.

Her father was furious at the prospect of her marrying Carlos, who was from Argentina, a contractor and certainly not good enough for Anna. He will not make you happy. I can see it in his eyes, he has anger, he had said.

She pleaded Papa, I have done everything you have ever asked of me, I have respected you and obeyed you, but now I need to decide for myself and I want to marry Carlos.

Why? You don’t love him I can see that.

I love him; maybe not as passionately as you see in the movies, but it will grow.

You’re making a mistake.

If I am then it is my mistake, but I don’t think so.

So, a year after she graduated from UCLA they were married. She realized almost immediately that her father was right. Carlos had a bad temper and was out of his mind jealous. She struggled with the marriage but after two years she knew she had to get out. That was when she discovered she was pregnant. With a new baby on the way she was trapped. She didn’t want to raise a child alone and financially she could not handle the burden. Anna made the decision to stay with Carlos and somehow make it work.

For the next seven years she focused her attention on Antonio, her son. He became her life as she managed to endure the marriage to Carlos. Eventually, though, as Antonio got older, she made up her mind to be independent enough to be able to leave. She had worked briefly for Lloyds Bank in West LA after graduating. Once married, Carlos insisted she not work so she had quit. She decided to call her old supervisor who assured her she would be re-hired any time she wanted. That was all she needed. Borrowing a couple of thousand dollars from her father, she moved out, got a job and began her life as a single mother.

Sam listened to every word, fascinated by Anna’s story. He then told her about Christine and their twenty-year marriage. He told her about his daughters and about his career; how he ended up as a manager of the local Marina office. I was running a large operation before, but I decided to start my own company and it didn’t work out.

That does not surprise me that you had such a big job. Anna said. You seem so…so, how do you say, above what you are doing now.

You are kind, Sam said, I don’t think of it like that. He realized as he said it that it was part of his problem. Maybe that’s why I lost it.

What do you mean?

Maybe I never saw myself like you see me and so I managed to destroy my success. He realized he was getting heavy.

Anna watched him, her eyes full of amusement. You’re a funny man, Sam.

Yeah, hilarious, he said sardonically. He changed the subject and they began talking about people they both knew at work.

The sun set, and the lights of the patio created an ambiance that was perfect. By the time they had desert, Anna loved desert, Sam knew he was totally in love with her. They walked out of the restaurant and along the outdoor mall, looking at the windows of the shops as they strolled. They did not hold hands and they walked not as lovers but as friends.

I should go, Anna said. She stopped at the stairway that led to the garage below where her car was parked. Turning to face him she kissed Sam full on the mouth. Sam responded by wrapping his arms around her shoulders holding her arms with his hands as his arms crossed across her back. She softened in his arms almost settling and they kissed for another moment. Then she backed away looked at him and said, Thank you Sam, for the dinner, I hope we can do this again.

We will, Sam said. That is if he had anything to do with it, he thought. I will call you tomorrow.

Good, she said. Good night. She turned and walked down the stairs.

That was nearly two years ago Sam thought as he walked along the wet sand watching the sun settling closer to the horizon. He had taken his shoes off and felt the cool mushy wetness seep through his toes. The sound of the waves was hypnotic; the salty ocean air filled his lungs; it was cool but comfortable. No matter how long he lived he would never forget how he felt that night with Anna. He had been far too excited to go home so he drove to the marina and walked for an hour. His thoughts had gone to his father and Uncle Will who both had loved the marina. They were gone now, and he wondered if they could see him. Sam imagined them looking down and smiling at what he was doing. Here I am he had thought, living at the Marina, and this beautiful woman wants to possibly have a relationship with me. Careful, he had cautioned himself, this may just be a passing fancy. I don’t care; if this is all that happens, the experience will be worth all the anguish it took to get here.

The sun was almost down now as Sam brought his thoughts back to the present. He sat down on the sand bank looking at the horizon. He loved this time of the day; there was serenity about the world as the sun slipped away for the night. Still, his emotions bounced around like a ping pong ball. He could feel the calm peace and joy of being in the place he loved the most, the beach, at the time of day he loved most. He felt the excitement he had with Anna as he relived that first date; and he felt the melancholy sadness that it had not worked out and now was over. What happened?

It was a storybook love affair. The first couple of months as the relationship grew Sam was convinced, he had found the woman of his dreams. But then there were changes; sudden bursts of anger that surprised him, then jealous accusations. Sam had been defensive and hurt so he fought with her. Why would he be interested in any other woman when he was with her? He realized she had her own insecurities. The trouble was, he thought, they both had baggage. They were both wounded in love and it was hard to not have defenses that created walls. They were in love, passionately in love but the defenses created a wedge that began to splinter that love. After several months it seemed they were arguing more often than not. They even began fighting in public, their passions rising out of control. No one could bring out the anger in him like she could. Finally, Sam realized for his own well being he had to break up with her. As much as he loved her, he could not live like that. It was emotionally draining; the peace he had discovered had departed once again.

It took Sam a long time to be honest with himself and face the fact that they needed to end. When he told Anna, she said no that they still loved each other, and they could work it out. She believed their love would overcome all the obstacles; so, they continued to try, but they just could not get past the emotional volcano that erupted far too frequently.

The end came when Sam accepted a new position with his old company in Pasadena. He had not been happy with his job at the Marina, especially not since Bob had died. He knew the business in the San Gabriel Valley, and he knew that the Wardell Family had a good business. They had offered him a position as General Manager and he took it; partly for the job but mainly because he would be back where his children lived. It would be easier to be part of their lives and he had missed that.

When Sam told Anna of his decision, she was furious. So that’s it, you just decide to leave and have no consideration for me and what that means to us.

I’m sorry, was all he could say. In Sam’s mind it was over, they were just marking time.

Her anger melted into sadness and she began to cry. It took a lot to make her cry and to let him see it, Sam knew, she was deeply hurt. He had felt terrible, he did not want her to be hurt, but there was no other way. To continue the way they were meant that they would both lose themselves. He held her feeling incredibly sad. I’m sorry baby. I don’t want to hurt you. I just have to do this.

Over the next few weeks, the withdrawals of their love affair had been painful for both of them. Her anger returned and there were heated phone calls. Eventually the calls ended, and they lost communication. This had been in January, nearly ten months ago, but he still missed her. It had never stopped. How can you love someone and not be able to live with them? Was this nature’s way of torturing you? What was love anyway?

The sun was completely down now and the sky above the water was bright orange. There were a few clouds above the horizon and the contrast with the mountains along Pacific Palisades and Malibu created a magnificent scene. This was normal, Sam thought, but no matter how many times he saw the sun set here, he never took it for granted. He stood up and brushed the sand off his shorts. It was getting cold now and he put on the sweater he had been carrying and began walking across the sand. Living in Pasadena now, he had to drive the thirty miles inland. He didn’t mind the drive when there was no traffic, but it certainly was not like living here. That