Oasis in the Desert: Parenting: Discovering Blessings with Unexpected Challenges

By Tracy M. Carr and Clifford W. Carr

The fundraiser, an ‘Arc for Corey and Cara,’ was such a Godsend to our family. Over 300 people attended the event. There was a local Christian band playing. Those who couldn’t attend, donated the most adorable handmade clowns, a frozen turkey and tickets to a Detroit Red Wings hockey game with VIP parking. We were blessed beyond our imagination!

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 12, 2020
• ISBN: 9781973691587

Tracy M. Carr

Clifford Carr is a clinical audiologist for Hearing Life in Holland, Michigan. He has worked as an audiologist for thirty years. Cliff was inspired to become an audiologist following his nephew being diagnosed with profound hearing loss. He lives in Holland with his wife of thirty years, Tracy, and their two dogs, toy miniature schnauzer dog, ELCee, and bishon frise, shih tzu mix, Chloee. Cliff has been a Michigan resident his entire life. He earned his master’s degree from Central Michigan University. He has completed doctoral-level courses in audiology from the University of Florida. His audiology career of working with hearing-impaired individuals has brought much joy and reward to him. Cliff has two older brothers, an older sister, and a younger sister. His twin sister, most unfortunately, passed away when he was twenty years old. Both of his parents are looking down on him from heaven. Teresa (Tracy) Carr is a retired teacher married to her husband, Cliff. She earned her Bachelor’s degree from Eastern Michigan University and state teaching certification from the State of Michigan. She has worked as a corporate trainer and documentation specialist/contractor for Ford Motor Company. Recently, she retired from teaching as a substitute teacher for eleven consecutive years. Tracy was born and raised in Findlay, Ohio. She was adopted by her stepfather when she was three years old. Upon graduating from high school, she moved to Michigan with her grandmother and uncle. Tracy’s mother resides in Ohio, and she also has a younger brother. Cliff and Tracy were parents of two very special, unique children, Corey Micah and Caralyn Irene. Corey’s and Cara’s lives continue to change both Cliff’s and Tracy’s perspectives on God, others, and themselves.

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Copyright © 2020 Tracy M. and Clifford W. Carr.

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Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-9156-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-9157-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-9158-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020909548

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/2/2020

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To two ladies who have inspired us throughout their lives.

They have been looking down from heaven and cheering

us on. To Carolyn Marie Carr and Irene Lucille Stearns.

CONTENTS

Foreword

Part 1 BLESSINGS

Chapter 1 Blessings Received and Given

Chapter 2 Mito Warrior Corey Micah

Chapter 3 Caralyn Irene’s Quest

Part 2 CARING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE AUTISM

Chapter 4 Brothers, Nicholas and Andrew

Chapter 5 Melissa’s Story

Chapter 6 Teaching in an Autistic Classroom

Part 3 HOPE

Chapter 7 The Hope of Hearing

Chapter 8 A Soldier’s Story

Chapter 9 Hope of Heaven

Chapter 10 Hope on the Horizon

Notes

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

FOREWORD

Children are a blessing from the Lord, offspring a reward from him (Psalm 127:3). The following stories show this text to be true, even when those children have severe physical, emotional, and mental handicaps. Devout Christians like Clifford and Tracy Carr, as well as many of their friends, have children who developed acute health problems, requiring daily care. You might expect stories of grief and doubt when parenting becomes an all-consuming and constant daily struggle. They do show this, but far more, they narrate accounts of faith, perseverance, and hope, worthy of saints. The piety their lives exhibit is pure and precious, and the value of their stories for others who endure similar struggles is priceless. No doubt these parents would claim no special honors for themselves. Rather, they, like the saints in scripture, would simply say, We servants deserve no special praise. We have only done our duty (Luke 17:10).

—Kent A. Van Til, PhD

Former Professor at Hope College in Holland, Michigan

Author of Less Than Two Dollars a Day and The Moral Disciple

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Part 1

BLESSINGS

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CHAPTER 1

Blessings Received

and Given

I love water. It’s the most wonderful element. Water cleanses, refreshes, hydrates, dilutes, purifies, and is a glistening sight at the beach. Showering, swimming, snorkeling, sailing, and kayaking are some of my favorite activities. Water fountains, waterfalls, and other types of oasis-like structures create a pleasant sense of tranquility.

I’d like to compare oases to blessings. Families with unexpected circumstances need sources of refreshment to continue on. For instance, we’ve received countless blessings in our life when raising special needs children. Both of our children were born with a rare disease. They were eventually quadriplegics. They both functioned at a three- to six-month-old level mentally. This is discussed in greater detail in chapters 2 and 3. They benefited from multitudes of blessings when we were raising them. These beautiful godsends tremendously helped us in the midst of loving and caring for our disabled children.

We’d like to discuss resources of tangible support we received in this chapter, to give hope to others who either educate or care for special needs children. In addition, there are examples of giving blessings to those in need.

Blessings Received

One of the first blessings God provided was the Early Intervention Program, (i.e., Baby Group). This was a program for infants through three years of age who had some type of disability.

As an educator, I especially appreciated the certified staff and creative stimuli-based program of Early Intervention. My son Corey and I attended this preschool, offered one day a week. Additionally, there were weekly home visits by the lead teacher assigned to Corey. This program for preschoolers who were exceptional was such a lifesaver. Loneliness grips you when you feel you’re the only one with a very unique child. It was so wonderful to discover that I wasn’t the only mother to birth and take care of such a peculiar little boy.

Every Tuesday morning, I would take our firstborn, Corey, to the Baby Group. He was one and a half years old then. How refreshing it was to not feel alone with a disabled child anymore. It was there that I met the most extraordinary little boy. His name was Jonathan. He and his mother, Lynn, would frequently attend the group. All the bones in his fragile body were broken at birth. His parents, Joe and Lynn, were and still are remarkable parents. Unlike Corey, Jonathan functioned normally mentally. He was able to talk, know directions, know his ABCs, eat orally on his back laying on a pillow, giggle, and scream. He loved balloons, Christmas, and people of all kinds, and everyone loved Jonathan.

One day at the group, while sitting on the floor with our exceptional children, Lynn turned to me and said, Do you know your son is holding his breath and turning blue?

Oh, don’t worry. Corey always does that, I said. Then I picked up my son and blew in his face to get him to breathe again. It was another temper tantrum of Corey’s.

Jonathan’s life expectancy was dismal and unknown. His doctors’ prognosis was that he would live only a few days—or at most a couple of weeks. He soared beyond all predictions as he lived until he was seven years old. Jonathan and Corey became fast friends, as they were significantly more physically impaired than all the other preschool children. Jonathan had to be carried around on a pillow all his life due to his brittle bone condition, since a fracture could occur at any time.

All the other moms at the group had somewhat similar emotions and questions about the whys of having a disabled baby/toddler. It was a well-planned-out support system, with certified teachers and social workers. According to many of the mothers I met, this group was far more supportive than their own families. There was a significant bond formed with many, due to being with like-minded moms. All the special needs children in the group presented their own challenges for their parents.

Yet another blessing came in the form of a life-changing opportunity for our