China Is Not for Everyone: But It Was My Home for a Decade

By Stephanie Chaloux

I went through many changes when God called me to China. As the years passed, changes occurred in my language, daily habits, expectations, vocation, and Bible studies. Through all of these changes, God was faithful and led me along the path He’d prepared for me. It’s not that I was perfect, trust me I wasn’t. Missionaries are ordinary people, and you will get a glimpse into the highs and lows I experienced. Sometimes it’s only a glimpse because ten years of shopping experiences would be terribly dull. You’ll delve into six main areas: professional, ministry, holidays, culture, personal life, and moving back. As a tentmaking missionary, I was officially in China as a teacher, but my job often fed my ministry. The stories are thematically collected, although they can span a decade as they intertwine in the tapestry of life. Very few aspects of life are left entirely untouched because life happens overseas, just like it does in one’s own country. The packaging can be different, but it still happens. Therefore, the highlights are worthy of being shared. Going to a doctor or crossing the street are routine activities, but it doesn’t look the same in every country. These were my experiences while living in China.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 17, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973680819

Stephanie Chaloux

Stephanie Chaloux was an ESL teacher and missionary who served in China for a decade. Most of her ministry was to college students but also taught K-12. Leading Bible studies and discipleship classes in her free time, she lived in Shanghai and moved to Leshan in Sichuan after the 2008 earthquake. One travel highlight was watching a meteor shower on the Great Wall of China in Beijing. After God called her back to the states, she works in full-time camping ministry and enjoys telling others about her experiences.

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Copyright © 2019 Stephanie Chaloux.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-8080-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8085-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8081-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019919347

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/17/2019

CONTENTS

Introduction

Leading Up To Leaving For China

Professional

Chapter 1 Making Classes Memorable

Chapter 2 Memorable Teaching Moments

Chapter 3 Beijing Olympics

Chapter 4 Emily My Favorite Student

Chapter 5 They Can’t Fail

Chapter 6 What Does It Actually Take?

Chapter 7 Performances And Banquets

Chapter 8 Different Types Of Work Environments

Chapter 9 Second Jobs

Chapter 10 My Hearing-Impaired Students

Chapter 11 School Lockdown

Ministry

Chapter 12 Locked In

Chapter 13 Holiday Ministry

Chapter 14 Bible Studies

Chapter 15 Christmas Party

Chapter 16 Ministry Struggles

Chapter 17 Ministry Is Hard

Holidays

Chapter 18 Holidays In Class

Chapter 19 Chinese Holidays

Chapter 20 Chinese New Year Fireworks

Chapter 21 Western Holidays

Chapter 22 Christmas Itself

Daily Life In China

Chapter 23 Go With The Flow

Chapter 24 Lost In Translation

Chapter 25 Chinese Dating Pressures

Chapter 26 Public Encounters And Culture Differences

Chapter 27 Free Exercise Classes

Chapter 28 Cleaning Culture Differences

Chapter 29 Football Moments And Internet Issues

Chapter 30 Getting Around

Chapter 31 Train Rides

Chapter 32 The First Is For The Thieves

Chapter 33 My Thoughts On The Weather

Chapter 34 Earthquake Bag

Chapter 35 That’s Not Seafood

Chapter 36 My Chinese Roommate

Chapter 37 Chinese Weddings

Personal Life

Chapter 38 Expect The Unexpected

Chapter 39 When Pigs Fly And Other Moving Stories

Chapter 40 Medical Issues

Chapter 41 Celebrity Status

Chapter 42 Trying To Fit The Mold

Chapter 43 Shopping Trips

Chapter 44 Unexpected Friendship

Chapter 45 My Chinese Family Member

Chapter 46 Aren’t You Afraid To Travel Alone?

Chapter 47 International Travel

Chapter 48 Doing My Civic Duty

Chapter 49 Dangerous Moments

Chapter 50 Cooking In China

Chapter 51 Do It Yourself

Chapter 52 Count The Costs

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Chapter 53 Packing To Leave China

Chapter 54 Tribble’s Exportation

Chapter 55 Adjusting To America

Epilogue

Endnotes

About the Author

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To those who read and prayed through Knighthawk.

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INTRODUCTION

LEADING UP TO LEAVING FOR CHINA

So many people have asked me throughout the years, why China? How did God call you there? Did you always plan on being a missionary? Let me say two things before explaining my calling there. One. Be careful how you pray. Two. It’s incredible to see how God leads in a person’s life.

Honestly, I never planned on living overseas, much less in China. I had my life planned out when I was thirteen. It went something like this: after college, I would be a teacher, get married, and eventually have children. By my mid-teens, I fleshed out my plan. I was going to teach in a Christian elementary school. Once I had that mapped out, I figured I was set. I planned to spend two years in community college and then transfer to the University of Maryland. That would make college more affordable. At fifteen I got my first job and saved half of my paycheck for college. Yes, I had a plan, but that didn’t mean it was the same as what God had planned for me.

I started volunteering at River Valley Ranch (RVR) a Christian camp in 2000. My third summer at RVR, some of my coworkers discussed why they chose to attend a Christian college. That got me thinking. I wanted to teach at a Christian school so I should take Bible classes in college. It was the first significant shift in my plan. I started to research Christian colleges. I knew teachers at the local Christian schools didn’t make much. That meant student loans weren’t an option because paying off debt would be challenging. Thankfully, Washington Bible College (WBC) was on my radar; Lancaster Bible College bought it after I graduated. WBC was almost the same price as the state universities. Things were falling into place and I planned on a year of community college and then transferring.

My plan was rocked again when I visited WBC the spring of my senior year. I learned I could transfer without the SAT if I had fifteen college credits. I took two community college classes the spring of my junior year and two each semester of my senior year. But one of the two my junior year was the math class to get up to college-level math, and the other was choir, so they weren’t going to transfer. Have no fear, God already worked it out. We’d had a lot of snow and lost a week of classes by March that pushed the second half of the mini-semester back by a week. This meant I was able to enroll in a course that met Saturday for six hours to get the fifteen college-level credits required to transfer. On our drive home from WBC, my mom asked me if I was ready to move on with my life, or if I needed another year home. Remember, I had a plan before I turned thirteen, I was ready to move on. So I enrolled in the Saturday class and turned in my paperwork to transfer in the fall.

Once I knew I’d start in the fall, I looked at the recommended class schedule for elementary education. Since I transferred fifteen credits, if I did the courses as advised I would graduate in December. I decided to finish in six semesters instead of seven. College was the requirement to teach; I figured why should I take more time in college when I could push and finish sooner. That meant my first semester I had eighteen credits. That was one of my smaller course loads in college. Another factor in my decision was every credit after twelve was 100 USD a credit hour, instead of 300 USD. That meant it was cheaper, and I’d finish sooner; it was an easy decision to make.

At the beginning of my second semester at WBC, there was a prayer group for China. Laura, my crew leader from my first year working at RVR, was teaching in China. She sent a monthly newsletter and asked people to pray for her. Through that, I was learning more about China. I thought the prayer group would be cool since I knew someone in China. However, they met at five am, and I was juggling twenty four credits plus eight hours of work. I was not one to pull an all-nighter (fun fact I never did in college). There were multiple nights a week I had evening classes so we’d wrap up around 9:15. So waking up at five was a daunting thought. When I first saw the sign for the prayer group, I said good luck getting anyone to attend at five am. The third week into the semester, I knew there was one morning that I didn’t have anything until ten. I figured I’d attend the prayer group and go back to bed afterward. I learned a lot about Chinese culture since the leader was from China, although she’d lived in the states for ten years. We were praying through the book Operation China¹ by Paul Hattaway. It’s similar to Operation World², but in this case, it was a distinct ethnic group or area in China. I ended up attending three days a week, learning about culture, language, backgrounds, and if they’d had a chance to hear the Gospel. I should mention that I was in a required missions’ class, a class on Revelation, and another class talking about the will of God.

All of this was going on, when one morning, I prayed that God would send someone so the Chinese would believe in Him. Let me say again, be careful how you pray! That morning the thought popped into my head Go to China. My instant reaction was no way! I quickly wrapped up praying since I was doing so out loud. I knew the thought was from God because it would not go away. When I was in class, I was confronted with that voice whispering go to China, when I was doing my devotions, and in church, the thought was go to China. It was unavoidable, so I started the attempt to bargain with God.

Remember, my life was planned out, and China wasn’t in the plan. I only knew of teaching at the college level in China (remember I wanted to teach children). My first bargaining attempt was since I was going to be a teacher, so I could take short-term missions’ trips in the summer. Go to China. Hm, I guess that’s a no… What about marrying someone who’s called to China then it would be easy enough, right? That thought lasted less than two hours when I realized if I was supposed to go, then I should go. Not because my husband felt called but because I am. Scratch that thought.

I was in Sunday school, and they asked how we thought we were going to die. My first thought was in China, and my next one was No! I’m not going to China. Clearly, I didn’t die in China, although there were times I could have. The internal debate continued for almost a month. One night I prayed something to the effects of okay; I’m open to the idea of going to China, but you’re going to have to make it clear that I’m supposed to go. But I’m open to thinking about it now. I’m willing to teach whatever age level. If you don’t want me to teach, then you’re going to have to work on me a lot more. But I’m willing to think about it. After praying that I felt some peace and went to bed. Less than eight hours later, someone mentioned her American friend teaching kindergarten in China. I was surprised, and then I was informed a native English speaker could teach any level, it just depended on the city. That was my handwriting on the wall saying, Go to China. I’d asked God to make it clear and He did a few hours later in a way that left no doubt. As if the thought rarely going away wasn’t clear enough, He made sure I got the memo. From then on, I started to alter my plan to teach in China instead of a Christian school in America.

It took me six months to tell my mom. It was scary and daunting to tell my family. They thought I would teach at a Christian school near my parent’s house. And probably live there for a while after I graduated. So, to go from that to love you, but moving to China was a huge change.

I attended a mission’s conference that focused on China in December of 2004. It was good for me to attend. I had a taste of how I’d stand out in China. There weren’t many Caucasians there, and half the people were speaking Chinese. I thought it was good that I experienced that before leaving the states. I also enjoyed attending workshops that focused on China; they helped equip me for the culture that I’d soon encounter. It was also good talking to different missions’ boards and people about their experiences in China, since the first time I went to China was when I moved there.

At my second college missions conference, I gathered information on different missions’ boards. I knew I was going to have to apply in the fall; that was about eight months away. Another fun treat at that conference was my brother came to visit. The two of us were walking around and Otis, the head of Bridging the World (BTW), reached out to my brother and said: I see China in your future. We laughed and I said not in his, but mine, yes. Instantly Otis’ attention shifted to me. I got his group’s contact information and thought it looked promising, since it was a one-year teaching program. They could place me in the elementary level as well as the other grades. I felt that BTW looked like a good fit.

My pastor encouraged me to look into SIM and OMF. I started reaching out to them to figure out which would be the best fit. Everyone I interacted with in the different boards were supportive. I spent a lot of time on their websites, as well as asking people questions. In November I still wasn’t sure which one to apply to since there were pros and cons for all of them. One required language school, another wasn’t sure they could get me an elementary level job, and the other was small. I knew that I needed to apply soon. As I was praying about it; the thought came into my head to fast. Hold on, I’d never fasted, and that’s scary. It was the end of November, and my senior year I had a lot of different things going on. Thankfully I was more receptive to that voice this time around. I decided I’d fast starting the Sunday of the next week. I’d never fasted before and was scared to go without food. Before I started, I made the concession that I’d eat one yogurt a day when I needed a pick-me-up. So that was it, one yogurt and a bunch of water for the first full week in December. I prayed for God to make it clear which of the mission’s boards I should pursue.

During my Friday morning class, my stomach growled, and the person sitting next to me asked if I was hungry. I said, you have no idea, but yes, I’m hungry. I’m sure she thought I’d skipped breakfast. She had no way of knowing I hadn’t eaten a meal since dinner on Saturday and five yogurts since then. I was asking for a sign to know which of the three mission boards to choose. I fully expected something small to let me know which one. Well, Friday morning, the last day of my fast, I had my sign. Sometime after my evening class on Thursday to when I woke up Friday, the campus was covered in BTW signs and posters. I wasn’t expecting a physical sign, but I got a campus plastered with signs. It was clear, and I applied to BTW. That was my missions board, and it was hard to argue with the sign I received.

Even though I didn’t know Mandarin and hadn’t left America since I was a baby, God knew China was the place for me in that season of life. I had the privilege of serving there for ten school years, which spanned from 2006 to 2017, with one year off to reset my visa. The first two years were in Shanghai, and the rest were in Sichuan province. In Shanghai, I learned about the culture and built a foundation in the language. Once I moved to Sichuan, I used Chinese anytime I left my campus. Almost all of my Chinese was self-taught or with the help of local friends. I didn’t have formal schooling other than a class supplied by my college during my eighth year. Sichuan’s local language slowly mixed into my Mandarin, so I do best talking to people from Sichuan. What I’ve written for you are things that either I experienced or my thoughts on an event that happened. I’m sure at times how I interpreted what I saw was inaccurate, but it was how I processed the event.

PROFESSIONAL

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Some of my kindergarten students.

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One of my college classes.

ONE

Making Classes Memorable

In my ten years in China, I taught students of every school level at least once. All of my classes were oral English of some variety. Being in the classroom that many years meant many things happened that left an impression. I should also let you know up front that I take after method actors in that if what I wore was going to help communicate something in the lesson, then I’d dress the part. One of my lessons was about the Oscars, so I told my students I wanted them to dress up like a movie star. I knew they wouldn’t, but I taught in an evening gown and typically had my hair in a simple but nice looking updo. Trust me that was enough! As I walked through the school, it was abuzz about what their foreign teacher was wearing. I used to wear prom dresses to church, so I was comfortable wearing full-length formal clothes. One of the times I taught my Oscars class, I had Bible study that evening. I had changed out of the dress but left the hair up. My study students asked why my hair was so formal. I said it was for a class and showed them the dress. Later on, I was asked to put my dress on so they could see it on me. So, I did a quick swap out of my T-shirt into the dress. One of the boys commented that it didn’t take long for me to get ready. It wasn’t hard to swap tops. Girls make it seem like it takes forever to get ready. But since my hair was already styled, it was a quick change.

Along a similar line, in my lesson on different cultures, I would bring five articles of clothing from other cultures and had students volunteer to wear them. They’d change in the bathroom and then come back. Their classmates would guess the culture or country from the clothes. I had an unusual method of timing how long it took them to put on the clothes: I would unwrap and show the class how to rewrap the sari I was wearing. It should take me a lot longer to do this than it should for them to throw on a top from another culture. But no, I was the winner every time!

The other lesson that I taught, which was a guarantee that I would dress differently, was in my pop stars class. It was the lesson where we talked about music and other celebrities. But mostly it was a music lesson. Sometimes I would spray temporary pink hair color into my style. But often it was just a more hip way of styling my hair and clothes that might be worn on stage with layers to make them modest. Many of my students had a favorite foreign singer or actor, so this gave them a chance to share about them. One day I got a text from a student saying Good morning!!! Today is Aaron Carter’s 24th birthday! I’m so excited, even if these days I’m living under big pressure, so many exams, but it’s okay because his birthday is today! Yes, there were still people who knew and loved Aaron Carter in 2010. I knew that she did, but I didn’t realize she had celebrated his birthday the past eight years. When it came to their favorite western singer, they often held onto that person long after they weren’t popular in the states. I could play music from different genres, and it didn’t matter how new or old it was. I figured if I could make a class a little more memorable, through clothes or other things, then it was worth whatever extra effort that went into it.

I would dare say that every teacher has a favorite lesson or subject. My favorite lesson was in the spring semester. My students had to prepare a speech. It was rare for me to assign homework, but I told them this would prepare them for the final (I wasn’t kidding. It honestly would.) My students loved the class for all but their speech. Most spoke on leadership and if they’d make a good leader or not. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I heard the same opening lines to their speeches, but that was beside the point. Whenever they made a verbal pause, put an extra "a" at the end of a word, or paused for more than four seconds, I shot them with my water gun. If they used Chinese, I shot them with more water than the other problems. One of my students thought they could sing their way through it — thus, removing the verbal pauses. But the song had nothing to do with the assigned topic. So yeah, they were soaked! They might not have enjoyed it when they were speaking, but the rest of the class had a blast. The objective was for them to know how many mistakes they were making, which they would lose points for on their final exam. The hope was that after the experience, they would study harder for their final because they knew exactly how I was grading them. I taught this lesson to my English majors and public speaking students, but my elective classes missed out on the fun. At English corner in April, often the junior English majors would ask if I’d had the water gun class yet and say how they loved that class. It wasn’t a traditional class, but it was memorable. Plus if we had a few extra minutes at the end, then I would let them pick a random topic. I had to talk about it for a minute or two, and one of them could use the water gun. Sadly, I was pretty good at it and knew to slow down if I was trying to think of things to say next, so I rarely got shot.

It was rare that I assigned homework in my class for two reasons. The main one was I didn’t want to deal with plagiarism—a common thing in China. The other was I taught speaking class, so giving written homework didn’t line up with the class objectives. However, there were times I asked students to bring things to class. One assigned homework was for them to bring in something they’d made. Typically more than half of the students brought origami. A few times, I saw that look of panic when I said everyone had to stand up and talk about their craft. I’d told them that the week before, but somehow, they missed it and hadn’t checked their syllabus. To be fair, since the school never asked for an outline, I was probably the only teacher who gave them a syllabus. For them, I understood making origami. I always had a student that made or brought in a paper airplane. But some brought in things that took longer and more planning to make. The easiest craft was a cigarette box with the top cut off, creating a pencil holder. Yes, I could see that if I used my imagination. Others brought in soda or soap bottles that they transformed into something else. A few had something they’d sewn and a couple had drawn something. I brought in crafts as well. Some things I’d made, and some from my mom, grandmother, and great grandmother. They were shocked that my great grandmother made a cross-stitch picture; they didn’t know that Americans knew how to cross-stitch. And bringing in something that was that old surprised them.

For a couple of years, I taught a public speaking and speech competition class. At the end of each class, I gave a quick example of the speech style I was expecting the next week. My informative speech was always my favorite and had a little extra preparation. Students were allowed to use a prop if it genuinely helped their speech. My example speech was how to end a friendship. No shame in admitting I chose that topic so I’d get to use my prop. I gave a couple of examples of practical things to do, and then I opened a bag, popped one kibble in my mouth, and said to offer it to your friend. I then offered it to them, and half the boys took one and ate it right away. It happened every time I gave the speech. But it was rare for a girl to take one. I guess they were listening to what I was saying and didn’t trust whatever it was I’d give them. After passing it out to the class, I went back to the front, and I said that all you have to do to end most friendships is mention how good cat food tastes. Then ask how they liked it since you just shared it with them. The expressions were always priceless when they realized I gave them cat food. For some reason, suddenly there was a lot of coughing and reaching for water. I wasn’t cruel—I took in a bag of Chinese cat food so it said in Chinese what it was, if they looked at the bag. Plus the context of the speech should have been a giveaway. Again half of the guys and almost all of the girls caught on. I always got a chuckle out of the fact that those eating the cat food had no problems until they knew what it was, and then it suddenly didn’t taste good.

Even though some of these methods were over-the-top, please realize it made the lessons memorable. If something harmless helped them remember it was more than worth it.

TWO

Memorable Teaching Moments

Listening to students’ in class often gave me a glimpse into the culture that I might not have learned on my own. In their sophomore year we went over job interviews and the possible questions they would face. I had them brainstorm what they thought before giving them nine standard interview questions. One of my textbooks had a whole list, and that was useful. What I thought was interesting was in every class at least one of the girls said they’d be asked if they planned on getting married or having a baby anytime soon. That it was an actual question most of the girls had in their job interview. Paid maternity leave was a decent amount of time, and some companies would rather not give it. Or they didn’t want to go through the training process just for her to go on maternity leave. On their resume, they were required to have a picture. So please realize it was different from the states in many ways. I can’t imagine being asked that question in a job interview in the states, but it was prevalent in China. Even more, now that they can have more than one child. companies have to go through it not once but twice with their female employees. Along those lines but in a different lesson, this time on gender differences, one of the questions was what is a job you think women are more capable of doing than men, and why? Many of them said a secretary. In two different classes, I had a boy say a woman should be a secretary because the boss is a man, and they have needs. The other said, the boss needs a special servant. Oh yes someone said that. I can only imagine if someone said that line in an American college. But with my students, no one disagreed.

Sometimes a student made a comical mistake. When that happened, it was fun to see if the student would try to correct it or if they kept going. In one class, I asked, what is your favorite food, and what ingredients are in it? One student said junk food. I wanted a little more information on that one, so I asked what ingredients are in junk food? vegetables and fruit. Ah okay… I then asked, what is healthy food? His response was priceless, hamburger. Now I will admit hamburgers can be healthy. Beef and bread are healthy for most people. However, please realize that hamburgers in China were breaded and fried chicken patties with mayo and maybe a little lettuce if you were lucky. Not my definition of healthy, but hey I wouldn’t call vegetables junk food either.

Part of teaching oral English was hearing some off the wall comments. One of my personal favorites that beat even the junk food comment was when a student told me my hair was getting darker. I