The Possessive Russian

By Rachelle Lavender

Milo is a man on a mission. He goes to a foreign land to get a better life. When he gets there, he gets discouraged.

Sara is his young, gifted girlfriend. She takes off to Florida to get away from him, but he follows her there. In Florida, Milo has changed his personality and his style so that he can impress Sara to stay with him.

After Sara realizes that Milo is a fraud, she keeps it a secret to herself. Hoping that Milo leaves her alone, he makes her live with him. Because Milo has won the lottery, he thinks that Sara should marry him so that he can get a green card.

Milo and Sara have adventures together. They traveled together by themselves. Hoping for the best, Milo gets Sara to do what he wants for him since they have had a romance in Puerto Rico together.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 12, 2019
• ISBN: 9781546264750

Rachelle Lavender

Rachelle was born in Washington DC. She has traveled around the east coast, including Puerto Rico. When she is not writing, she likes to cook, paint and spend time with relatives and friends.

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© 2019 Rachelle Lavender. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/12/2019

ISBN: 978-1-5462-6476-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-6475-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and don’t necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter One Milo Chernigov

Chapter Two Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Three Milo Chernigov

Chapter Four Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Five Milo Chernigov

Chapter Six Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Seven Milo Chernigov

Chapter Eight Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Nine Milo Chernigov

Chapter Ten Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Eleven Myrtle Berry

Chapter Twelve Milo Chernigov

Chapter Thirteen Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Fourteen Milo Chernigov

Chapter Fifteen Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Sixteen Milo Chernigov

Chapter Seventen Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Eighteen Milo Chernigov

Chapter Nineteen Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Twenty Milo Chernigov

Chapter Twenty-One Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Twenty-Two Milo Chernigov

Chapter Twenty-Three Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Twenty-Four Milo Chernigov

Chapter Twenty-Five Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Twenty-Six Milo Chernigov

Chapter Twenty-Seven Milo Chernigov

Chapter Twenty-Eight Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Twenty-Nine Milo Chernigov

Chapter Thirty Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Thirty-One Milo Chernigov

Chapter Thirty-Two Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Thirty-Three Milo Chernigov

Chapter Thirty-Four Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Thirty-Five Milo Chernigov

Chapter Thirty-Six Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Thirty-Seven Milo Chernigov

Chapter Thirty-Eight Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Thirty-Nine Milo Chernigov

Chapter Forty Sara Rosenberg

Chapter Forty-One Milo Chernigov

Chapter Forty-Two Sara Rosenberg

CHAPTER ONE

Milo Chernigov

I was born in Saint Petersburg, Russia in 1958. It was below 20 degrees fahrenheit outside. My Mother was furious because she had to see me by candlelight since the power went off. A blazing hot fire was keeping us warm from the fireplace.

In the late 50’s, the Soviet Union was having problems with America. In 1958, the cold war between the United States and Mother Russia was going on. The premier of Russia, Nikita Khrushchev was threatening to bomb the United States of America with the atomic bomb.

Before I was born, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg supposedly came to Russia as spies to teach the Soviets how to build the atomic bomb. They were accused of treason in America. Ethel was a portly actress and a secretary who was looking for gold. Her husband, Julius was an engineer who was related to a man who knew how to build the atomic bomb. If they really did teach the Russians how to build the bomb, it would be dangerous for them to stay in my country. They would have been executed if they stayed in Europe. After the couple came back to America, they were given the death penalty. This is all politics. This is how the cold war started.

When I was young, the Soviet Union was a communist nation. In elementary school, I had to wear a red scarf with a pen that had a picture of Lenin on it. We did not believe in God and privacy. Nothing belonged to one person. I grew to believe that communism wasn’t the best way for me to live so I decided to take action.

In the year 2003, I wanted to take off and go to the golden land of freedom. I wanted to get a chance to get citizenship in the United States by getting a green card. I wanted to marry a nice American Jewish lady named Sara Rosenberg.

There are many reasons why I came to America. I love the diversity. I love the Smithsonian. I love Washington DC. The main reason why I want to be an American citizen is because I want to live in Honolulu, Hawaii because of the warm sunny weather.

On May 1, 2003, I got off the airplane at the airport. That is where I met my brother, Dimitri, who drove me to his home in a black four door Toyota. He drove me to his house in Rockville.

My brother’s house is a three story house with yellow azalea bushes, a pink cherry blossom tree and a large oak tree on the front lawn. The house is on Denfield Street. It is quite a distance from where my brother works.

He is works as a free lance journalist for magazines and newspapers in Washington DC. He has been an American citizen for thirty years because he has passed his American citizenship test so that he can continue to work in the USA. Sometimes my brother gets articles published in the Washington Post. He writes about current events that have to do with the metropolitan area. He is a rich successful worker.

I want to be an illustrator for magazines and newspaper advertisements while I try to receive a green card by marrying a young nice American girl. I also want to illustrate for businesses. I hope that I marry an American girl during the three years that I stay in America so that I can become a famous artist in Maryland. Since I do very good portraits, this is a possibility.

There is this stunningly attractive young girl named Sara Rosenberg. She is standing right in front of me. I want to start up a conversation with her. She seems like a nice girl.

Hi. My name Milo. I from Saint Petersburg, Russia. Vould you go date vith me? I earnestedly ask her.

She excitedly answers. My name is Sara. I would love to go out on a date with a gorgeous European man like you. I am only eighteen years old, but my Mother approves of me going on dates with nice men. I know your brother, Dimitri too.

Yes, he journalist.

He lives three blocks away from me. We have high regards for him, she answers enthusiastically.

Great! I exclaim with joy. Brother vill drive you and I ballet tomorrow.

I jump up into the air and click my feet. I scream softly. My face has a sinister smile on it. My pants fall down a little. I am a little eccentric. That is what makes me so attractive and interesting. Girls just love me in Russia. The thought makes me do a little dance and leap like a prima ballerina. She will just fall in love with me. She is naive, modest and innocent. I am sure that I can get her to marry me before my two years are up in America because I am not ready to take the American citizen test yet. I yelp and I skip to my brother’s house.

Sara Rosenberg is a nursing student at Maryland University. She is a student with a 4.00 average. She is smart, but she isn’t so bright when it comes to dating foreigners that want green cards so that they don’t get deported back to their country. Sara gets scholarships. Her family doesn’t have to pay for her classes. She just pays for her nursing books. She likes physics, chemistry and biology. Hopefully, she will become a brilliant competent registered nurse in about six more years. Inspired is what she is. I like her for her precocious mind and her lovely charm. I can’t wait until the weekend so I can take this intelligent student to the ballet.

Sometimes I wonder if Sara is related to Ethel and Julius Rosenberg. Sara is Jewish, but I love Jewish girls even though I am a Christian from the Soviet Union. I am pretty sure she is related to someone who has to do with Ethel and Julius Rosenberg. Mrs. Ethel Rosenberg’s sons were adopted after she was executed after her arrest.

Sara is a dark headed petite girl who looks a little bit like the spy from Russia. She has a widows peak. Her skin is medium complected. Her skin is kind of beige and soft. Mr. Raymond Rosenberg is who she resembles the most. Her waist is tiny and slender. The clothes that she wears are very sophisticated, colorful and modest. I am falling in love with this siren. She is a beautiful girl who can sing like a woman from the odyssey. She can lure men on the boat with her lovely voice to come to her and die. Love is in her heart. The cute pixie haircut shows her nice profile and her heart shaped face. She is a short girl who is four foot eleven. She is made to make a man want to woo a woman. This girl could be Miss Teenage America if she was taller.

On the cell phone, I call her up to remind her of the event coming up. Hello, this friend Milo. Is okay vith your Mother Father you go on date vith Dimitri Chernigov’s brother?

Embarrassed, she answers the question that I asked her. My Mother wants to chaperone me when I go out on a date with you because I am very young and new at dating people who are much older than me.

I agree with caution. Yes, I think your Mom vise to go vith you cause you vith an old strange man like me. Maybe ve can date in future vithout you chaperoned.

That is a deal. This will be the first date that I had with an older man during my whole entire life. Let us take our new relationship slowly. We must be wise and prudent. I have a driver’s license and I can borrow my Mother’s car in the future. That is after my Mother gets to trust your human nature.

I stutter when I talk to her. I am a lonely man voo vants serious relationship vith nice Jewish girl. You can trust vholesome gentleman like me. I never been arrested by the police.

Sunday comes. I go to church to worship and to celebrate the Sabbath. I am a religious Christian who puts his faith in the almighty God above. Before every meal, I say grace. It is a strange tradition for a man who was born in the Soviet Union during the communist years. I used to be a communist at the age of seven, but I became a devout Christian at the age of thirteen. It terrified me. Because I was a faithful Christian and I am not an atheist. I could have got arrested by the NKVD and thrown into prison for being a traitor. That is silly of me to think that because there are churches in my home country. My brother and I went to church during the first Sunday when I arrived in the United States.

Dimitri is familiar with the Rosenberg family and he is respectful to all of them. In fact, Sara is Ethel and Julius Rosenbergs’ great grandchild. She is a spitting image of Ethel, but she is prettier than her. Her body is like a ballerina that reminds me of Anna Pavlova’s. Her figure isn’t how Ethel Rosenberg’s figure was right before she got arrested.

This is my Mother, Edith. She is the same age that you are, she bravely announces to me. Edith doesn’t mind me going out with a handsome sophisticated hardworking man with a different faith to watch ballerinas. In fact, my Aunt went to ballet camp at the age of fifteen in New York. My Mother really appreciates dedicated ballet dancers.

Tentativley, I ask her if it is okay if she can possibly fall in love with a foreign man like me. Gently, I shake her Mother’s hand because she is exotic like her daughter. I like her, but I don’t love her yet because she is a stranger to me. We have just met a few days ago.

The New York American ballet company is preforming at the Kennedy Center. Sara watches the ballet dancer dance gracefully across the stage with their elegant costumes. They dance with timed precision and a lot of practice. The Rosenbergs are impressed by the artists. It makes me want to dance with Sara like the dancers at the theatre.

Did you nice time? I ask Sara.

I was delighted by the show, she says with delight.

I wish that she was more independant. I wish that she wasn’t chaperoned. I want her all to myself because I am an older man who isn’t an American citizen. I really want a green card.

What if her Mother finds out that she is dating a man whose main want is to have a green card so that he can stay in the United States for the rest of his humble life? Maybe she will reject me. I am a hardworking brilliant artist who is important to people that want to advertise their businesses to customers that want to buy what they need for their homes and their friends. Hopefully, I will become a rich and famous Russian-American illustrator. I will do my work for fashion magazines and prestigious companies. Maybe success is my future.

I can divorce Sara later on and start my life in Honolulu, Hawaii without her. My intentions are evil and cruel. I care more about myself than Sara. I don’t want to get deported back to Russia if she doesn’t marry me. There are plans that I have if things don’t work out between Sara and I. I can try to get another American woman to marry me if she rejects my proposal. I could care less about her and I aim to break her heart. She will weep for hours after I leave her forever and take off to go to Hawaii with my greedy intentions.

Sara is a Jewish American princess. She is as bright as Sylvia Plath, but she would never commit suicide because she isn’t the depressed type. She is meant to be a compatible registered nurse with a perfect grade point average in college and a great future ahead of her. My new girlfriend won’t need me after we get a divorce because she will have money with her full time nursing job at the hospital for sick patients. A Jewish American Princess is rich, smart and clever. They have expensive cars, nice clothes and mansions to live in. Their Mothers and Fathers shop at Lord and Taylors for them. They spend a lot of money on their clothes, furniture and cars. Sara drives a fancy BMW. She drives it carefully to expensive clothestores to buy presents for her friends. She lives it up in her neighborhood. She is a divine Jewish American Princess. She will become my rich Jewish wife who will give me her money that will help me live a great life in America.

I plan to live with Sara for a short time after I marry her. I plan to divorce her right away. The reason why I want to divorce her is because I want to live a homosexual life.

I don’t think that I can marry another man for a green card. I think that I can only marry a person from the opposite sex in order to get a green card. Homosexuality isn’t tolerated in the United States.

My brother is a bachelor living legally in America without a green card. He works hard for his money. He is a good American who doesn’t need a wife because he is gay and he is having a hard time finding a male mate to get married to. Like George Michael, he suffers from HIV because of his homosexual activities. He doesn’t need a green card because he is very intelligent and knows the American laws and ways very well. He knows about American politics. Dimitri is a sharp Russian-American journalist. He is also a prosecuting lawyer who worked honestely to become what he is now in America.

There are places in Dupont Circle for my brother to hang out with gay men. He knew that he was gay since he was seven years old. That is why he moved to Rockville. He might as well move to Silver Spring.

Vut you think about little girls voo date foreigners? I ask my brother with interest.

I never dated a woman before. Babushkas never made me want to have a relationship with them, my brother tells me and he is uneasy.

Brother, voo good man voo knows Rosenbergs vell. Vut should do to vin special lady’s heart?

I don’t recommend that you hang out with her any more because of her age and the fact that you aren’t romantically in love with her. You want her for the wrong reason. All what you want is a green card so that you can stay here and make a living.

My name is Milo Chernigov and I am going out with a foreigner who will hopefully tie the knot with me. My brother doesn’t believe that it is true. I am temporarily going to be with Sara Leah Rosenberg. I will make her convert into Christianity. I will change her points of view about life. She will love me and she will regret it.

On Tueday, Sara exclaims to me something that is important to her. I don’t want to get married right now. I want to finish my studies at the university. Even though I don’t want to get married, I want to continue to have a nuturing relationship with you.

Very good then. Ve vill continue date each other then you be my vife, I command her with authority.

But I don’t love you at all, she honestly chides to me.

Vut you mean? You not love me? I am fantastic artist vith talent and promise. I vill make you card for birthday. It be illustrated by me, I promise her.

I like that. That sounds nice. I love birthdays. I have the same birthday as John F Kennedy and Bob Hope. My birthday falls on the same day as Memorial Day sometimes. That is how you can remember my birthday. By the way, get me an extravagant gift for my birthday, she exaggerates.

Fine, vill give you elegant gift for birthday, I summarize.

You better do it for me or else I won’t be your girlfriend anymore, she dares me to get her something expensive for her birthday. Maybe it is because she is used to living with a rich family. Maybe it is because she is Jewish and American. Maybe it is because she grew up in Silver Spring.

Guess what? I think that I am not falling in love with this girl. I think that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her and I want to divorce her. I didn’t change my mind about breaking her heart. We can live together temporarily. We can’t grow old together. What will become of Sara’s love? She can’t be my Anastasia. She can’t be my queen. She won’t jeopardize my future. My future isn’t having a family with Sara.

Sara has grandiose ideas about herself. She is immature in the way that she thinks about men. Her expectations of me are too high. The only relationships that she had weren’t even very few. She only had one man before me. She doesn’t have much skills in loving. Love is what she doesn’t understand. Love is in her heart and she doesn’t know it. This girl thinks that she only wants material things. She is in love. That is my opinion. She might be madly in love with me, but she isn’t interested in in having an affectionate romantic relationship with me.

Milo. Is that your name? That is what Sara asks me. I think that you are a nice guy.

Happiness is what I am experiencing. She brings me joy. I feel gleeful and ecstatic. I want to jump up and down for joy. I want to scream with delight. I want to shout out to myself that I will be on my way to being married to a elegant girl in a year or two. Soon I will probably get a green card.

Now I am forty-five years old. I am an old bachelor and Sara is a young bacherolette. But it isn’t too late for me to get married.

Sara is taking an anthropology class. She wants to do fieldwork at a tanning salon. She wants to observe the people that go to the tanning salon so that they can get dark dangerous tans that are very bad for their skin. It is a mystery why people go to tanning salons. In fact, my girlfriend found an African American at the tanning salon. This person had a dark complexion. My friend wants to know why she came there. I know that there is a chemical that gets into the skin of the person that gets a tan which causes them to get an addiction that makes the person want to keep coming to that place. The tanning salon makes good business. Sara has a beige complexion and isn’t interested in getting a tan because she is afraid of getting melanoma of the skin. She doesn’t warn the people at the salon about the skin cancer risks that they are taking chances with. Those people are risking their lives, but Sara doesn’t want to stop them from getting skin cancer.

You go Stuart, Florida summer. Vie don’t you take me vith you? I envy her.

We are just friends now, she answers me. We shall be just friends for now on. Do you get my drift? My studies are the most important thing for me now. Do you understand?

I vas art student college four years. I studied math and physics. Understand, I brag about myself to her.

Sara draws a picture of a skull. The proportions are perfect. It looks spectacular. She draws petals around the eye sockets. It looks like something Frida Kahlo would draw. It comes to dawn on me that Sara is a better artist than me. Jealousy gets to me a little. She wants to be a nurse and that is the reason why she can draw a skeleton very well. The artist knows all of the names of the bones in the skull. She gets my pastels out to color in the skull that she drew. It looks fantastic. She does it with speed and skill. For a young person, she is a genius when it comes to art. I tell her that she should try to sell some pictures to make some extra money.

Orthodox Jewish people don’t believe in the visual arts, but Sara’s relatives got into the preforming arts. Her great grandmother was an artist. Ethel Rosenberg was an actress. Sara’s aunt was a ballerina. Sara is an artist who was interested in drama during high school.

When she works in a hospital, she will be putting IVs into patients’ veins. These are the tasks that she will be administrating. She will be drawing blood, giving out medicine and she will be helping patients go to the restroom.

Sara has bedside manners and she will make a competent nurse who can comfort dying patients. The people skills will help her do this. She has a terrific personality and plenty of patience. The qualities that are needed to be a strong nurse are there. She will need a masters degree to be one. If she wants, she can change her mind and become a doctor. She certainly has the brains to become a doctor.

Pride is in her Mother’s heart. Sara is prestigious. She always knew that she wanted to be a registered nurse or a doctor.

A job is what Sara needs to get the experience in the work world. She works in the evenings at Chevy Chase bank. In high school, Sara worked as a cashier in a clothes store. She also tried babysitting.

Her math skills are superior. She received an A in calculas in the eleventh grade. She is some kind of mathematical genius who wants to serve people for a living.

She goes to college to gather knowledge. Is that all she knows how to do? I don’t know how to get her nose out of a book. She studies day and night when she isn’t with me or she isn’t working as a bank manager.

I can picture her wearing scrubs and a stethoscope. I can picture her taking the pulses from the patients’ wrists. She can draw blood from sick people with ease.

What concerns me is that maybe she will fall in love with a doctor or other nurse at her work. Maybe she will lose interest in me and get a divorce with her future husband.

But who am I to blame? I only wanted her for a green card. I need a green card and a lot of luck in my life. I need a green card to stay in America because in three years I will get deported if I don’t get married to an American citizen. I want the green card more than anything.

Maybe I will get a divorce someday. Maybe I won’t. Most likely I will.

Sara. Do love me? You love me, I hope that she loves me.

No, I don’t love you, but I like you just the way you are, she answers me. I am an intellectual that needs privacy, a lot of books and passing grades. I am mostly interested in my studies and my work, but we can continue to have a relationship off and on. Is that okay. How about doing something fun in the summertime?

Sure thing. I will keep you in mind, I promise her.

Sara takes out her linear algebra book and solves a math problem. She does her math homework on the computer. She solves matrices for her chemistry class with a lot of quick mental effort. Her best subjects in school are math and science. Sara is like a mad scientist because her great grandfather, Julius was also a mathematical genius who probably knew how to build the atomic bomb because one of his relatives worked on the atomic bomb. Sara wants to use her brain for doing good deeds for people by using math and science.

You have brother? I ask her with astonishment.

This is Isaac Mayor Rosenberg, she announce to me. He is a certified public accountant. That is why I do so well in math. He is just visiting my family. He lives in a townhouse in Silver Spring.

So, you from family of mathmatical geniuses! I exclaim with amazement. You smart. You can build nuclear bomb. You great grandmother knew build atomic bomb. How feel about that?

I don’t think that my great grandmother Ethel was bright enough to build any kind of bomb. I don’t think Julius could either, she informs me about her past family. She could have met Robert Oppenheimer.

Fascinating family, I complement her. You law abiding American citizen.

I know a little bit about building nuclear bombs, she teases me. In fact, my grandparents really knew how to build bombs and they did teach the Russians how to build them.

You joke. You too young know how build nuclear bomb, I offer her with a sigh of relief. They really deserved death penalty.

Let us not talk about this anymore. I am thinking about teaching the people of New Guinea how to build the nuclear bomb.

You joke. How you know build a nuclear bomb vin you only eighteen?

I am testing you out on your prospective on Jewish girls like me because you call me a Jewish American princess. Maybe you don’t fancy little attractive Jewish girls who want to learn how to do CPR on people for a living. I don’t know how to build nuclear bombs. Do you believe me or are you so gullible that you would believe that an eighteen year old girl would go to Vietnam to teach people how to build nuclear bombs? She insists.

Ve go temple Friday night together, I offer her.

That is the smartest thing that you said to me since you have met me, Milo, she approves. Let us walk there by sundown on Friday. The Sabbath ends on Saturday night.

We walk to the temple with our most modest attire. I am wearing a yamulke which is appropriate for a night with a nice orthodox Jewish girl. Sara Rosenberg is wearing a white blouse with sleeves that hide her elbows. Her skirt flows pass her knees. I see an Ethopian Jewish lady wearing a long dress that falls to her ankles. She is walking with her orthodox Jewish friends on Shabbot.

Maybe, if ve fall love vith each other, ve get married like orthodox Jews and I have honor break glass bottle vith foot. People vill shout mazel tov to us. Vouldn’t delightful? I ask her.

If you want to convert to Judaism, I just might marry you. You should stop your gambling addiction if you want to marry me, she scolds me.

Believe me honey. Those my intentions, I gently flirt with her.

I want a green card. It is going to take a little time to get it. Without the green card, there will be no more America for me. I will never be a Russian-American if I don’t get married to an American woman in three years. My time will be up and I will miss Dimitri. Regret will be on my mind. My American dreams will be over. I will be deported back to Russia if I don’t become an American citizen.

I have tears in my eyes, I cry out to Sara. They tears of joy.

We can’t see the constellations in the sky because we are in the city. There are many cars driving around in the street like carouse men. The headlights of the cars make it hard for me to see with my eyes as Sara walks me back home. I think that she is falling in love with me for the first time in my life. I am with a spectacular girl who has enough spunk to go out with me without her parents or brother in the dark. We peck each other’s lips with coy personalities. It suprises me that she shows even a little physical affection and sexuality. Maybe she is a little romantic.

My brother is typing an article for a magazine about current events for the newspaper on his computer. He is writing for the fun of it. He enjoys being a journalist.

Dimitri is versitable. He isn’t just a journalist. He is also a successful prosecuting attorney. He has lived in the United States for fifteen years as a hardworking dedicated lawyer who has helped so many criminals get behind bars. He has protected women from rapists. He has protected them from wife batterers. He really cares about the safety of women at home and at work. My brother doesn’t always win the cases in the court, but he wins most of them because he comes up with a convincing argument about how guilty the defendant is.

My brother got through law school by doing odd jobs. He painted walls at first. He did a little carpentry. He worked as a waitor in a fancy restaurant. My brother had to do odd jobs because he was the only person in our family living in the golden land of freedom and opportunities.

He became a legal American citizen with a prestigious job because he was bright enough to pass the American citizen test. He learned the answers to the American citizen test in no time. For him, it was easy.

His English wasn’t as good as it is now. His grammar wasn’t polished. This was because his native language was Russian. People had trouble understanding his thick accent. He learned a lot of the English language from his homeland. He exceeded in the English language in a year since he took English as a foreign language at a community college as he worked full time to stay in America.

Because he is a gay man, he had a crush on an English professor who awarded my brilliant brother with an A+. My brother didn’t have too many crushes in law school because he was overwhelmed by too much work and too much studying. He was a brilliant student.

Since he worked fulltime, it took him quite a long time to finish law school. Working hard to get his fill, my brother got a great education that lead him into getting a hard job that gave him great wealth. He deserved all the success that he achieved and I am proud of him.

I accept my brother’s ways even though my parents kicked him out of the apartment that we shared. Because Dimitri is a gay man, my brother is a genius who is mainly interested in making his mind more and more sophisticated everyday. He was always the brightest student in his school in Mother Russsia, but he wasn’t a good communist. He was rebellious.

When he was seventeen, he drove a motorcycle to Germany to celebrate the victory over the horrible Nazis. During the Holocaust, millions of Russians were incinerated and brutally wounded. Millions were murdered. The Germans lost the war and that is why my brother rode a motorcycle to Germany with a big smile on his face.

The next day he took a plane to the USA. He didn’t write to me or other family members because he was tremendously busy with work and getting better at adjusting to the American way. He did better in the United States than he did in Russia.

I was hoping that he would tell me that I should take off to the states and live with him. Dimitri expects me to be able to become an American citizen the way he did. I don’t have enough discipline to study and to pass the American citizen test. I am not as bright as Dimitri.

I am a guy who is just a little too carefree sometimes when it comes to exotic ladies who love their privacy. People find me persistant and stubborn. I could care less about how youthful Sara is.

I never give up trying to get the lying Sara to give up her innocence and playfulness. Sara is a tease. She likes to tell fibs to me. Playfully, she tells me stories that she made up in her mind to entertain herself. Seeing only what she wants to see, she is out of reality. Her destiny is good and she want to keep it that way by telling lies. She doesn’t know how to deal with controlling men from foreign countries that mainly want green cards. To her, I am like a savage or a beast that deep down inside is a fraud. If only Sara could just get rid of me and live her life the way she wants to.

Sara is like the cat that gets chased by the skunk named Pepe Le Pew. Pepe would kiss the cat with the white stripe going down her back which makes the poor cat look like a skunk. The cat has to smell the terrible odor from the skunk, Pepe when she gets kissed by him. Pepe the skunk has a French accent and I have a Russian accent. I’m so much like Pepe the smelly kisser. I smell like perspiration. Sometimes I smell like onions and vinegar. Sara wonders if I brush my teeth everyday because my breath smells bad sometimes.

I could be attractive, but I dress funny. I wear suspenders and baggy pants when I don’t have to make an impression on anyone. The message that I want to send is that I am uninhibited. Maybe I am eccentric and artistic like Andy Warhol. My yearning to be famous like Andy is driving Sara crazy. It is impossible for me to win fame when it comes to illustrating.

Sara finds me to be humorous, wacky and odd. She just can’t take me seriously. I make her laugh behind my back. The respect that she has for me isn’t always there.

Sara, permission drive my brother’s car? You vant me drive you somewhere? I ask her like a bug on the nose. My thick bottlecap lenses are slipping down my nose as I speak with a commanding voice.

Sara replies, Of course.

She jumps into the car with her beautiful dress, her red sweater and her well-groomed self into his car. She is too good for me and all ways. Sara has low regards for me even though she gets into my car. She just wants a boyfriend to hang out with and to share her dumb stories with.

Out into the suburbs, I drive her to my destrination. It is a place were nerds go. It is the library.

I have a library card. I have a library fine of eleven dollars. I am reading a book on how to woo a woman. Sara stares at the book with disapproval and disbelief. She is astonished by my nerve.

Although I am a nerd, Sara is being controlled by me. I am kind of like an octopus when it comes to affection so that I can get her to like me. I don’t always gets my way from her, but I never give up.

My rituals isn’t noticeable. One of my few rituals are dialing numbers on my cell phone. I have really lost my mind.

I get tipsy. I drink alcoholic beverages. Vodka and wine are important to me. I get drunk or high. I do recreational drugs which Sara doesn’t know about.

Maybe it is stress. I am so worried about getting deported. This situation is driving me insane. The expectations that my brother has for me to live up to are hard for me to reach.

The radio is playing Tchaikovsky. The station is the classical station. A lady with a British accent is announcing the composers that have composed songs which are being played on the radio. The music reminds Sara of Russia which is the place her great grandparents went to in order to teach the Soviets how to build the bomb so that they could get gold.

I can make good money because I am a great artist. I draw with skill and talent. I am dedicated for making money for myself and for making money for Sara.

Love doesn’t count in a relationship. I don’t love Sara. I will never love Sara.

Dance under moonlight and stars tonight because I going to be star. You vait and see. You vill be proud. I vill not let you down, I say with glee.

Oh no. You will let me down. You will disappoint me, Sara sneers.

CHAPTER TWO

Sara Rosenberg

My name is Sara Rosenberg. I was born on April 20, 1985, at Sibley Hospital in Washington DC. We lived in Washington DC for a month after I was born.

On my first birhtday, Edith, David, Isaac and I moved to a house in Rockville. That is where my older brother Isaac and I grew up for the rest of our childhood. We shared a bedroom together. There was a clown painted on the wall which my brother and I were terrified of. It had a red sinister smiling mouth, a bald head, a blue and white striped clown costume and a blue hat. Its feet had long red shoes. My brother called it the patriotic clown.

My brother is highly gifted and intelligent. He is a cetified public accountant. He is fantastic at math. Quickly, he graduated at the top of his class from Maryland University. Without him, I wouldn’t have graduated after the eleventh grade.

On my eighteenth birthday, I met a cute nerdy guy named Milo. He is an illustrator and a construction worker. He asked me for a date. This is the reason why I flirted with him.

He is an attractive plump wimpy man with dark hair like mine. His hair is short and he puts mousse in it. It sticks up like Alfalfa’s hair from the show, The Little Rascals.

Milo is much older than me. I’m not sure whether I want to pursue a serious relationship with him or not. It seems like he wants to go steady with me. To tell you the truth, I’m not ready for him. Romantically, he pecks me on the lips when we come back from the synagogue. So far, he seems easy for me to tolerate. I don’t love him, but I think that he loves me.

Milo and I went to Dunkin Donuts together. We had a grand old time. We just hung around and drank gourmet coffee.

I will get a hot small decaffeinated coffee, I suggested. I want a chocolate doughnut too.

I vill pay your coffee, Milo offered me a favor.

I want a caramel macchiato, I excitedly tell him.

Splendid. Have one. It vill make gain weight. You are sugar pie honey, He complements me.

I drink my coffee with joy. It tastes so strong. It is so sweet. The caramel macchiato has a lot of ice in it and it has syrup that is stirred up very well in the plastic cup. The coffee is tan and brown. It is so appealing. The coffee is large so that I am worried about my weight and my health. Although it tastes good, I am going to slurp it all down really quick. I won’t enjoy the coffee.

Milo is drinking straight coffee. It is hot and dark. The coffee is rich. He put no sugar in it. I don’t know how he can enjoy such a bitter drink. It is also not caffeine free.

Milo, I have to get home by six o’clock, I earnestedly tell him.

It only two thirty. Let hang out another hour, he suggests.

A lady is rolling her eyes and sneering at Milo. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because he calls me my chubby wubby. In America, it is an insult and it is disrepectful for a man to make fun of a woman’s body. It is also incredibly rude. Sometimes Milo is rude, but I think he is kind of charming.

Vin your birthday, Sara? He invites me to have a good time.

May twenty-ninth, I answer him.

Fantastic! You vill be nineteen. You vill be real grownup voman, he exclaims.

Milo, you can’t pronounce w’s very well. It is so brave of you to come from the other side of the world to here, I tell him.

A lady is whispering that I am insensitive to racial issues. This is possible because of what I have just said to Milo. I could care less because I know that it isn’t true.

Milo, it was a pleasure to hear about your hobbies and interests. Have a wonderful day. I have to go home, I tell him.

I vill. I vill! He says with delight.

He does a little dance. He jumps in the air and taps his ankles. He looks silly. I think that he is sort of crazy and eccentric. He kind of reminds me of Albert Einstein. That kind of eccentric. The only difference is that he doesn’t wear his hair sticking up from his head like Albert Einstein and he isn’t a physicist. He is just an artist that wants to be an architect someday.

Milo is wearing a funny hat. He reminds me of the mad hatter. It is like he comes from the book, Alice and Wonderland. He can be Tweedled Dee or Tweedled Dumb. He is kind of dumb. He dresses funny.

He is such a nerd. His glasses are bottlecap lenses. They are so thick. In his pocket, on his shirt is a calculator and a writing pen. His shirt has a Peter Pan collar. Under his big funny hat, it is a winter hat that is worn underneath that top hat. Around his neck is a warm medium blue winter scarf. He has tape around his glasses. He is wearing brown loafers. He is such a funny cute nerd. When he talks, he burps, hiccups and he gurgles. He does a lot of math problems on papers for a hobbie. He also is into books. He gives me a t-shirt that says that I love nerds. It has a picture of Snoopy wearing glasses. It reminds me a little of Milo.

My brother Isaac warns me that Milo is trouble. He tells me to stop seeing him. He warns me that Milo has evil intentions. Isaac tells me that I should stop dating him and that I should stop conversing with him.

I can’t help myself. Milo is so much fun to be around. I like him very much. He is clever, sweet and nice. He is attitude reminds me of a child. I don’t know what I am going to do with him. I don’t know what I can do without him. On dates we reminisce a lot. He tells me about what happened to him in Russia before I was born. It is so interesting. What he tells me about Russia, makes me want to stay in my hometown. He tells me about how he used to be a communist and how he changed into a Christian man.

He tells me that he will change religions for me. He tells me that he will convert to Judaism. This is so he can keep me as a girlfriend. Will he do anything to get me to marry him?

I guess that he came to America because he wanted to be with his brother, Dimitri. Or maybe he doesn’t like Russia because of what has been going on in the past there. With wisdom, he came to the United States. All what he has to do now is to become an American citizen like his brother. How is he going to do that?

Maybe this man wants to be a rich artist. Or maybe he thinks that he is good as Diego Rivera. To tell all of the people in the world the truth, I think that I am better than him in art and he won’t make it in the art world.

In fact, I think that I am as talented as Frida Kahlo. Frida and I are both Jewish too. We do good pictures of skulls. I think that I can make it better in the art world than Milo because he is too nerdy. Even though I am not a professional artist, I am fantastic because I know the names of the various parts of the bones. I can probably be an artist for medical books. The reason why I am so good at art is because I am studying nursing and anatomy. It is also because I am a brilliant straight A student with a 4.00 average.

I guess that I could be a doctor. I don’t see why not. I have what it takes. Bedside manners, intelligence, prestige and patience are the qualities that I have. It takes a person that cares about other people’s well-being and medical health to be a good doctor. I guess that I should be a psychiatrist for Milo because I think that he has mental problems. I don’t want to make money by being a doctor because that is what I already have. I just want to help others be prosperous.

Milo, I think that you should find a new profession, I suggest.

Maybe I could be a professor of foreign language, he announces.

Really. A lot of people want to learn how to speak Russian so that they work for the government. Really. A lot of people want to have off for the holidays. If someone works for the government, they can make about sixty dollars per hour. You can make a lot of money teaching Russian as a foreign language. Your Russian is a lot better than the Americans that study Russian in college, but your English isn’t so good. Go for it anyway! I exclaim with enthusiasm.

Sure thing. I just need to learn how to pronounce that one letter in English, he sort of agrees with