Pastures New: Written by the Past

By R Nketia

Selina feels most at peace when surrounded by the beautiful flowers in Nana’s garden. It’s here that she is able to come to terms with the love, loss, and lies that surround her mere existence. While on the road to rediscovery, she finds herself faced with the challenge of piecing her life back together. When her brother suddenly shoots to fame, she is also tasked with conquering life-threatening injuries. Along the way, with her best friend in tow, she encounters Lisa, Olivia, and Tia, who have twisted tales of their own. As fate would have it, their crossed paths guide their journeys as they set off in search of pastures new.

Will Selina cope with the long-lasting effects that the biggest secret will bring?

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Apr 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9781728380469

R Nketia

R. Nketia is an upcoming and bestselling author with a background in teaching. An avid reader herself, she was inspired by her life experiences, to write creatively. Although she currently resides in East London, her Ghanaian descent is also influential to her work. Pastures New is her first novel.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Selina

Selina whimpered in pain as she let go of her grandmother’s hand. She didn’t want to leave but despite her best efforts, felt herself slipping away. As the image of Nana faded from her vision, the sound of Taija’s voice began to flood her ears. Her eyes slowly began to open. Selina recalled falling to the ground, loud noises and piercing screams. She was suddenly overcome by excruciating pain and winced as she saw daggers of light piercing through her tightly closed eyes.

The Venetian blinds rattled gently in unison with the whisper of the August wind and the pastel blue emblazoned walls told their stories through cracks in the paintwork. Selina attempted to steady her vision by focusing on what she made out as a jug of water. She tried to raise her head but was dazed by vertigo. A floral pattern flirted with Selina’s peripheral vision. It was a pattern she was very familiar with.

Did somebody die?

"Lina! Don’t you ever do that to me again. You almost killed me with worry… come here." Taija leaned over and squeezed Selina’s shoulders a little too tightly. Her body jolted to halt her movements and the sight of Selina’s pain-stricken face forced her to loosen her grip.

Selina smiled, I’d never leave you T and besides, how would you function?

The hospital room door opened abruptly, much to Taija’s disliking. A middle-aged doctor walked through the door clutching a clipboard. Sorry to interrupt…Ms. Clarke …

Selina is fine

Selina…it’s great to see that you are up and talking, you gave us quite a scare. Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Doctor Carter and I’ve been keeping an eye out for you since you were admitted. You’ve been through a traumatic experience but you’re a fighter. Your daughter must take after you.

Selina’s eyes widened as she tried to comprehend how she had ended up in hospital. I’m sorry, I thought I heard you say, daughter, you must have me confused with another patient … I can’t… I don’t have children.

Doctor Carter stroked his fingers through his now greying brunette hair, awkwardly. Selina when you came in, you had suffered some terrible injuries. We began the processes of treating you and discovered that you were around 7 months pregnant, through blood testing.

Wait…what!? I’m Selina Clarke you must have me confused or maybe you didn’t hear me before, I can’t have children. She tried to muster up the strength to sit up again but failed.

Taija tightened her grip around the side of the bed. So, you mean to tell me that Selina was pregnant this whole time and… she enquired as her gaze flickered back and forth toward her friend and the doctor.

T can you give me a minute? Selina said whilst looking over at the door. Taija acknowledged by walking towards it. T…Please don’t say anything yet, I don’t know if I can deal with all of that right now.

Taija rushed back over to Selina’s side to embrace her. Shh, just rest up and finish talking to the doctor I’ll go get you something to eat you must be really hungry, I mean I know I would be with all the nastiness they feed people in here! Sensing it was time for her to leave, Taija kissed Selina’s forehead and closed the door behind herself, quietly.

Selina stared up at the ceiling desperately trying not to let the tears forming in her swollen eyes, fall. You see as a kid I was told that I suffer from polycystic ovary syndrome meaning the likelihood I’d be able to conceive were close to zero, it’s not possible for me to have children.

Chapter 2

Selina

Selina looked up at the board as her name became illuminated upon it. She walked down the narrow corridor painted in the stereotypical doctor’s surgery magnolia, hoping that all would go well. She knocked on the door as Doctor Ellis beckoned her in.

Take a seat, I’ll just be a sec. Doctor Ellis said whilst typing aggressively on her computer.

Whilst contemplating whether to leave, Selina turned to face the wooden door marked room 5. Exhaling deeply, she closed the door behind her and sat on the chair furthest away from the doctor. Just as a sudden sense of claustrophobia arose in the room, Selina looked up to see the doctor looking at her quizzically.

You okay pet? You look a little off, have some water. Doctor Ellis exclaimed.

Selina released her tight grip on the edge of the seat and cleared her throat before responding, Sorry, no…I mean yes I’m okay.

"I’m not convinced but if you’re sure, fire away. What seems to be the problem?

Well basically, my timings are a little off, very off, in fact, and I’ve started putting on a bit of weight. I just wanted to check that everything is alright.

"Okay so when you say off, how off are we talking? Doctor Ellis said as she wheeled her chair back around to face her computer.

I can go a few months with nothing. I just thought it had to be down to exam stress so I ignored it. Selina rubbed her forehead which she regretted immediately. A combination of nerves and stress triggered floods of tears.

Conflicted by her expected professional conduct and human nature, Doctor Ellis swung her chair around and slid across the lino flooring, screeching to a halt just in time to embrace Selina. Hey baby girl, don’t cry. Is there something else bothering you? Is someone else making you feel this way? Sensing her questions were not helping the situation she handed Selina a tissue. The softness of the tissue faded away slowly as it began to soak up Selina’s distress.

I’m so sorry about this, I just don’t feel myself. I just don’t feel right.

I understand. Based on what you’re describing…is there any chance that you could be pregnant?

No way! Selina said trying to laugh through her tears. I’ve never, you know…

Okay, well then I want to send you for some tests, nothing you can’t handle, you look as tough as, well…playdough.

Selina laughed as she began to relax a little. Doctor Ellis moved her chair back a few centimetres before reaching up to grab a leaflet with the words ‘Polycystic Ovary Syndrome’ stricken over the front page. I’m kidding, but I am concerned about your hormonal balance. I’d like to send you for tests just to make sure everything is okay. There’s such thing as polycystic ovary syndrome which you seem to be displaying some signs of. I don’t want to jump the gun here but I want to make sure. I’ll send a referral through and you should receive an appointment letter in the next two to three weeks. If you don’t hear anything back from them in that time, you can call the number on this leaflet. This must be a bit daunting for you to digest at seventeen but I assure you there are many women who have been able to manage their symptoms.

I won’t be able to have children will I?

Unable to look at the young girls’ grief-stricken face, Doctor Ellis slid on her chair until she was tucked safely under her desk. You’re seventeen and you have not been given an official diagnosis so please don’t think like that. It’s my job, to be honest with you and to ensure that you are getting the best treatment possible. How long do you think this may have been going on for?

I noticed it about 2 years ago, sometimes I can go without a period for up to 3, 4, 5 months. It just springs up on me.

Is there anyone at home that you can talk to about how you are feeling? You shouldn’t have allowed yourself to feel uncomfortable for that length of time. You should have come to see me sooner, nevertheless, I’m glad you came today. And don’t be fooled by what you hear regarding difficulties conceiving, there are always advances in medication and support if and when the time comes. Do you want me to call your mum to come and pick you up?

Oh, no…my mum’s not around…

Chapter 3

Taija

"Selina I know this may have come as a shock to you but despite your diagnosis and against the odds you had what is called a concealed pregnancy. This is rare but I assure you it is possible and that little girl belongs to you. You had been keeping her safe for around 27 weeks or so, that’s what we have estimated."

Selina touched her stomach and felt the dressing that ran across it. I have a daughter, Selina Clarke has a…daughter she whispered. She looked up at the ceiling again and mouthed the words thank you out of sight and earshot of the doctor.

Look, I know this is tough and life as you knew it will become very different. I’ll arrange for a nurse to take you to see your baby, and listen… if you need anything, let us know. I’m afraid my services are needed elsewhere so if you would please excuse me, I’ll be heading off.

Thank you…but wait, before you go, is she okay? Selina asked

She is still quite young and with all premature births, it’s always touch and go. She had some issues with her lungs so we’re monitoring that. She’s being supported with her breathing and hopefully, we can reduce the support we’re providing as she gets stronger.

Okay thank you. Selina sighed in relief.

Outside the hospital entrance, Taija scrolled through her contacts until she reached ‘r’. She contemplated calling Ray but decided it would be in bad taste. Instead, she called her mum to check on Shayla.

Mum is Aunty Selina okay? I was a little worried because grandma said she was in the hospital.

Yeah baby, your Aunty is really made of the strong stuff. Keep praying because…

Prayer changes things! Shayla interrupted.

That’s right! I love you. Make sure you behave for your grandma okay?

I love you too mum, I will!

Okay good! I’m going to leave you to it, I’m sure you have lots of drawing to do.

I can’t wait to show you my picture of you and Aunty Selina. I showed it to Uncle Ray and he really liked it.

Uncle Ray? Shay, you haven’t seen him in a while. Taija’s stomach tightened.

He came to grandma’s house today. He came to see me and he said I shouldn’t tell anybody…oops. Shayla said