Was It Because I Was Black

By Nicola V. Thompson-Harris

“Was it because I was black? Why, woman? Why did you put me up for adoption and leave me in the hands of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personalities? I found you, my mother. I prayed for twenty years to get this opportunity to look into your blue eyes and ask you that question.”

“No!” the other woman answered.

“Then what? How? Why?” Shanice Mc Dowell wasted no time to ask those direct questions and, in anger, promised to make her mother pay for her sufferings.

John McKinney heard the voices in his head and knew he had to save his grandson Joshua. To him, his grandson whom he loved so much was becoming a killer. “Or maybe it was me,” those were John’s words as he traversed the balcony before killing his grandson and afterward turning the gun to himself. He left a letter for Sarah that revealed too much.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 7, 2019
• ISBN: 9781532065132

Nicola V. Thompson-Harris

Nicola is a mom of two young adults, whom she knows are her greatest blessing in her life Academically, she holds a Bachelor’s degree and diploma in Public Management from University of Guyana. While she always had that passion for the medical field, it became a reality, when she migrated to the USA. She went back to school and now is a recipient and holder of a degree and also certified as a Medical Billing and Coding Specialist. She also has a diploma in Business English from Sevendale house in London. Nicola likes to write and everything must be in detailed form and sometimes lengthy, so to her writing a book was natural and in the past she wrote and recited a few poems and stories, some are on YouTube, while others were read to her children only. Today she presents her first book to the world “Was it because I was black”. The intent of this book seeks to make known that despite your social status - color of your skin, you can make a positive change to enhance and bring peace and harmony to the life of another person from a different social classification.

Book preview

Chapter One

THERE SHE SAT, CAPTIVATED in her own world as she shifted her head from side to side and closed her eyes a smile, it was worth a million dollars. Only she could explain the reason for that smile, and she was surely enjoying the moment, then suddenly…she was interrupted. Ms. Sarah McKinney, She heard her name and immediately the smile disappeared. Ms. Sarah McKinney, She heard it once again. You have a visitor, your daughter, Ms. Keeley Jefferson, is here. Sarah who was now a resident of Fredon’s Nursing Home for the Mentally Challenged opened her eyes widely, with a puzzled look, and then a smirk appeared on her face from nowhere. Her actions were like a three-year-old child.

She bowed and shook her head and said, No! No! No vitiiiiizzzor, with a slur in her voice because her tongue was slightly twisted, which indicated to the young, strange, vibrant nurse that she may have had a stroke. Her hands were slightly curved at the wrist, but her nails were clean and healthy looking. What a hard life, Nurse Shanice thought, a stroke and deemed mentally insane, two very bad combinations. Please come and sit here, Ms. McKinney, Nurse Shanice said. Look at what a beautiful family you have. They have traveled all this distance just to see you.

No! No! she cried once again.

Keeley sat with her husband Brad, and daughter Melissa, who was eight years old. Keeley looked at her mother and the tears started to fall from her eyes, onto her cheeks, and she felt helpless since there was nothing she could do to help her mom.

Nurse Shanice saw the tears on Keeley’s cheeks, and she walked over to the cabinet, took out some napkins, and immediately handed them to Keeley and she said to her, Everything will be okay. Your mom is being cared for, and we will give her all the love necessary so she can get better. There are three things you can give an ailing person, other than their medication: love, prayers, and faith to know that they will heal quickly.

Keeley was appreciating this strange nurse. She is so young, she murmured to herself. Her mom had brought her up so well.

At the other end of the room, the nurse was filing away medical charts as instructed by her supervisor. Oh well, she thought. Most jobs, on your first day, you either answer the telephone the entire day or you file. Hmm, so I heard, but I am enjoying it. Nevertheless she was still so curious. Why is that so??? She thought to herself. What could have possibly happened to this beautiful, well-kept human being who looked like she was in her fifties? She appeared hurt, frustrated, confused, and battered, but still sweet and very beautiful with lovely jet-black hair and blue-green eyes. Nurse Shanice drifted away. What was this woman’s life like before? She thought to herself.

Keeley got up and slowly walked over to the nurse and said, I know…you are wondering what happen to my mom, and how did she end up in here? She opened her mouth to speak, and then she closed it.

I am puzzled! How did you read my thoughts so clearly?

I saw how you looked at my mom, responded Keeley. Also, I have never seen you here before.

No, I was not. Today is my first day on the job, she replied.

Oh, you are fresh. I can see that because for the last fifteen years my sister and I have been coming once a month at different times and I have never seen you once. However, this is her last month because my family is relocating to Tennessee and we are taking her with us.

Oh, that’s nice responded, Nurse Shanice. What about your other sister?

She will still be here, but will travel to Tennessee to visit us at least once a month. Keeley then took Nurse Shanice’s hand and calmly guided her to sit next to her and said, Let me tell you our story because it’s my mother too.

Chapter Two

THIS IS WHERE IT all started, on that bright and sunny day in that peaceful community where my mom once resided. Said Keeley

Pop! Silence… Pop! Silence…Pop! Three gun shots and they were coming from the McKinney’s home.

Oh my God! What is happening? The neighbors were asking themselves while concealing themselves behind a variety of furnitures in their homes. It’s robbery at the McKinney’s home, they assumed.

Todd Johnson a neighbor, and very close friend of the McKinney’s thought and clarified, as he was explaining to the police officer with tears in his eyes, that he was the person who called 911. As the bodies of, John and Joshua McKinney were taken away; Todd stared at the body bags that were used to take away his friend of thirty years and his grandson. He never imagined that this could possibly be a suicide and that his friend could take another person life…and it was his grandson. Todd wanted answers as he tried to play the scenario in his head but soon realized that he was not going anywhere, and he had difficulty in comprehending the situation at hand.

What did I miss? There had to be sign. He knew that John was a private person, but, but… what???

Todd was holding his head and squeezing it; he closed his eyes and he recalled his last conversation with his friend yesterday afternoon. Indeed!!! That’s it! He told me that he wanted to go on a vacation, and he wanted me to overlook his family for him.

But I thought it was a vacation. If I had known, I could have saved my friend’s life, Todd kept repeating. He stared at the sky, looking for answers, and then his feet felt weak. They could not withstand his body weight, and he fell to the ground and started to cry.

His wife came over to him and held him and said, My love, there is nothing you could have possibly done if you did not see the signs.

He sighed and took several deep breaths and shook his head in silence. Todd continued to reflect on all the good and sad times he shared with his friend. The children started college together and the wives were pregnant at the same time. He remembered it all like yesterday then, he smiled. Sarah and Gail were pregnant at the same time, and the other neighbors would tease them by saying, One took a chance and the other took an advance, but it was all a stroke of luck. He too, could not believe that the wives were pregnant together. Then Miley and Jason were born just a few weeks apart. He was there by his friend’s side when his daughter Miley died. It was so unbearable for Todd to comprehend. He remembered, after Miley’s death, he concluded that his friend needed counseling, and he even suggested that he would go with him for counseling but John declined. I am fine, his friend would usually say. I am focusing on my work and helping people, and that is helping me."

Todd shook his head again because he honestly believed that he could have helped his friend. If only…

The police officer noticed Todd’s actions and said to him, Take it, easy sir, I know how you are feeling. I lost a family member that way too.

Gail reached out again and tightened her hug on her husband, and she murmured, We have to be strong for Sarah and the girls.

Chapter Three

HE ACKNOWLEDGED AND KEPT shaking his head in agreement. He would definitely want me to do that. Then Todd said, Mmm, I am thinking about something now. Oh, forget it, such a long time ago.

What happened a long time ago? asked Gail.

You know, John asked me a weird question many years back, and I am wondering if that had anything to do with what has happened now.

She asked, "What is it, Todd? You are scaring me. Honey, what is it?

One night after a few drinks at the bar, we were heading back home, and John asked me if I had to choose between making love to him or his wife Sarah, who would I choose and he would pay me. I was shocked, upset, and disturbed by the entire suggestion, so for fifteen minutes, I remember I heard every car horn, every abusive word drivers hurdled at each other as I was driving, the singing of the wind, then the stillness of the night. I heard it all because I was so numb, I never answered him because I knew he was drunk and a drunken man’s conversation bears half-truth. However, I waited on him the following day, but he never brought up the conversation, never again. What if that had something to do with now? asked Todd

I am not sure, but you need to take it easy my love, and allow it to all workout. Listen to me clearly; you must never, ever mention that to Sarah, okay? That will destroy her, declared Gail. Let’s go and have a cup of tea; you need to calm your nerves.

Todd Todd was reluctant, and he asked her if he could be left alone for a few minutes.

I am tired of killing in my mind. I think it is time to do it for real. Joshua had told this to his grandfather on two occasions and John knew this was the moment. He had to do something to save his grandson from becoming a mass murderer.

Chapter Four

IT WAS MIDDAY, SARAH had just left the home to run a few errands, and she was dropping off Jessica at her part-time job. Spring had just started, and the trees had lost their leaves during the winter. The sky was blue and had a friendly and calm look. It was bright outside, it was a beautiful day to take a walk, but John and Joshua were home alone. John invited Joshua on the balcony. He said to Joshua, I have something to tell you, and you would be the first and last person I will tell this story.

Joshua wanted to go online and do some research. He said, Grandpa, can it hold for another time? I have other plans for the day.

Well, let me be quick then.

Okay, Grandpa, go ahead. Joshua always liked to listen to his grandfather’s old stories. He finds them enlightening. He said to his grandfather, I hope this one will make me laugh like the last two.

No, no, this one will make you very sad. When I was only thirteen years old I witnessed my best friend murder and, out of fear, I said nothing to anyone, until now.

What did you saw, Grandfather? Joshua asked curiously.

John then turned around and lowered his head like someone who was ashamed of what they did. He said, My grandson, I lived with this lie for many, many years, and I felt guilty then and more now. My conscious was never cleared. I needed counseling to help me emotionally, but I did not want to talk to anyone about this because it had a lot of repercussions for my family. I would see my friend in my dreams many, many nights, and he asked me the same question repeatedly: ‘Why did you leave me, John? Why, why did you leave me, John?’ But every time I tried to respond to him, he would walk away. I was helpless and that’s why I became a clinical psychologist. I tried to fix myself by fixing other peoples’ problems.

You did not tell me what you saw, Grandfather, or why did you leave your friend, an impatient Joshua blurted".

John then paused and said, "It was during the summer. My bestfriends Nelly, Justin, Mark and