The Meaning of Contentment

By Mary McGuinness

Mary’s Prayer, Mary McGuinness’ first book, charted her journey to health through a lengthy period of illness from depression. She told how she was healed by the power of prayer and through her love of music; she possessed an inner drive and commitment to improve her life in the long term.

The Meaning of Contentment, a sequel to the first book, covers a period of almost six years. In total, the two volumes chronicle almost twenty years of her life, charting the gradual changes taking place during two decades on the journey to middle age. This second book reflects on these natural changes and also on the personal transformation that occurred because of the varied perspectives of McGuinness’ experiences.

This memoir shares the story of how a meeting with her Uncle John changed the course of her life. The Meaning of Contentment tells how she strengthened both her identity and the familial bond while helping him. It focuses on the friendship and the interactive learning experience that dramatically impacted on her future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 12, 2018
• ISBN: 9781982216689

Mary McGuinness

Mary McGuinness is a chartered accountant. She also has an honors degree in psychology from the Open University and is a member of the British Psychological Society (BPS). Mary has a particular interest in positive psychology. She has a first degree in mathematics from the University of Glasgow, and she studied accountancy at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh. Her first book, Mary’s Prayer, was published in October 2014 with Balboa Press. She is interested in traveling and learning about new cultures. Mary has studied the Spanish language and would love to learn German. The Meaning of Contentment is her second book, which is a sequel to Mary’s Prayer. She lives in Scotland with her family.

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Copyright © 2019 Mary McGuinness.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-1667-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1666-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1668-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018913844

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/11/2018

This b

ook is primarily dedicated to those of us who have a genuine concern for the welfare of others. It is also for people who are willing to take timely action for those in need. When we help others, we also embark on a journey of change within ourselves. Finally, it is for those of us who are on a quest to improve our health and develop our minds and who would like to enjoy a better quality of life.

Good to be older

Would not exchange a single day or a year

—John Lennon, 1980

Borrowed Time, Milk and Honey

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

PART 1

Introduction

Chapter 1   Echoes of Mary’s Prayer

Chapter 2   Renewal of My Faith

Chapter 3   The Meaning of Contentment

Chapter 4   Friendship and Unconditional Love

Chapter 5   Eradicating Stigma and Dealing with Stress at Work

Chapter 6   Limiting Beliefs and Roadblocks

PART 2

Chapter 7   Helping Uncle John

Chapter 8   Strengthening My Identity and Autobiographical Memories

Chapter 9   The Importance of Music in Our Lives

PART 3

Chapter 10   The Double Fantasy Exhibition—Liverpool, England

Chapter 11   The Effects of Growing Older and the Concept of Time

Chapter 12   Reflections

Epilogue

Afterword

About the Author

Bibliography

Further Reading

Songs Mentioned in The Meaning of Contentment

Movies Mentioned in The Meaning of Contentment

Albums Mentioned in The Meaning of Contentment

Exhibitions

Website

Reader’s Guide for Book Clubs

Mary’s Prayer

Foreword

Contentment, is an elusive state that often escapes us through our own distractions. Indeed, we are often reluctant to engage in the onerous tasks (requiring time, effort, and the sacrifice of our own desires) that will, in the end, afford us satisfaction. In offering her story, Mary demonstrates that it was through giving, caring, and listening that she found a sense of purpose, and through that purpose, she rediscovered the happiness she once believed she had lost. Her testament offers witness to the positive power of helping others.

Charles Dickens, lamented how often we ignore the realization that we are all fellow travelers, heading in the same direction; our business is to make our companions’ journeys as agreeable as possible. In doing so, we form relationships, using words we weave into stories, and the stories function as the currency of our friendships. Like all currencies, it can be counterfeited or devalued, but if we avoid those pitfalls, we can have fruitful bonds with family, friends, and those who cross and share our paths. Mary’s account highlights how her Uncle John’s storytelling brought the past to life and made the present more real. What began as a chore for both Mary and her sister, Lena, became a joy.

Of course, as a much wiser person asserted, there is a point at which words fail, but meaning still exists. Mary finds that in music (although the lyrics are more important to her), but even music must bend to silence. And meaning still exists—in the careful clasping of a hand, a sympathetic glance, or when we sense, breathless before the grandeur of nature, that something beyond ourselves shapes our lives.

Benny Timpson

Former English Teacher

November 30, 2018

Preface

My main reason for writing The Meaning of Contentment was that certain aspects of my life had changed. I stand by most of the belief systems I discussed in my first book, Mary’s Prayer, but certain aspects of my health have improved, which merited a sequel to set the record straight. In Mary’s Prayer I discussed how self-help books helped me. Although I still read widely, and I would follow worthy advice from mentors in the books I read, I tend to rely on my own intuitive powers more often.

I also wrote The Meaning of Contentment as a tribute to my Uncle John, who effectively contributed to a major change in my life. When my first book was published, he held it in his hands and was overwhelmed by my achievement. My sister, Lena, often spoke to him about compiling the stories he told us of his National Service experiences and perhaps making them into a book.

This is a book about transformation and change that took place when it was least expected. Mary’s Prayer ended on a positive note, yet in the four years since it was published, I have not returned to my career in accountancy, and neither have I managed to secure work in the field of psychology.

In deciding on the title for this book, I reflected that I’ve loved the music of Elvis Presley since I was a young child. At that time, Elvis was an older man, and he mainly sang ballads in his shows in Las Vegas. One of my favorite songs of his was Crying in the Chapel. One line of the lyrics describes how the protagonist knew the meaning of contentment because he was happy with the Lord. Some of the lyrics, about searching for peace of mind, make me reflect on my first book, Mary’s Prayer. I had searched for the way to find contentment. Just like the protagonist in the song Crying in the Chapel, I eventually found that I had to take my troubles to the chapel. Crying in the Chapel was written by Artie Glenn. Elvis Presley recorded it in October 1960, and it was a track on his RCA Victor gospel album His Hand in Mine. The song was not released as a single until April 1965, and it reached number 3 in the Billboard charts. There were many times in my life when I had to kneel down and pray. Most of my prayers have been answered in one way or another. Either I received what I asked for, or I did not. I tend not to feel disappointed if I don’t receive what I asked for, as I understand that God may have greater things in store for me.

Sometimes the chapel offers respite from the stresses of the world. It is a sanctuary, and it offers a calming effect on us. When people feel troubled, they often return to God. All faiths find solace in their respective places of worship. Some churches are very ornate and contain famous works of art, yet the one mentioned in the song Crying in the Chapel is referred to as a plain and simple chapel where humble people go to pray.

The meaning of contentment, for me, is a place of peace. It is a stable state, but perhaps it is rather transient. It may be subject to change, depending on the environment in which you find yourself. In many ways, the power of prayer turned my life around. I started to make more time for God by the end of the period, when I completed the writing of Mary’s Prayer. Miraculously, problems seemed to disappear, and even long-term issues from the past did not affect me the same as they had previously. Solutions appeared in my life, and there were more opportunities as the difficult times seemed to ease. I suppose people who have been on a religious retreat may experience the same feeling. Amazingly, everything changed within a short period of time. Events in my life have proved to me the existence of God. This moment, however, is not the time for me to discuss the said events, due to their personal nature.

In writing The Meaning of Contentment, I would like to offer hope to those who are suffering from prejudice or stigma regarding mental health issues. The problems in Western society regarding these issues have reached a crisis point. Apparently, suicide is now the most common cause of death for males under the age of forty-four. Something has to be done to help people come to terms with their illnesses and to improve the quality of their lives.

Mary’s Prayer charted my journey to health through a lengthy period of illness from depression. I was healed by the power of prayer and through my love of music. I also had an inner drive and commitment to improve my life in the long term. The Meaning of Contentment is a sequel of the first book, covering a period of almost six years. In total, the books concentrate on almost twenty years of my life. Of course, you would expect gradual changes to have taken place over two decades into middle age. This book reflects on these natural changes and also the personal transformation due to the different perspectives of my life’s experiences. In Mary’s Prayer I was searching for answers from different philosophies and ways of thinking. During the writing of this book, I’ve found what I was looking for in my own religion. What I have learned over the last two decades has helped me develop a more positive frame of mind. During the time that I wrote Mary’s Prayer, I was studying for an honor’s degree in psychology with the Open University. I was very proud to attain this qualification and to graduate at the Usher Hall in Edinburgh in 2015.

After graduation I could have relocated to England to find work, but I was waiting for surgery for over a year, due to delays at the local hospital, and I also was caring for my uncle. Almost six years have passed since I completed the writing of my first book. It was a period in which I came to a level of acceptance of what had happened in my life, and I experienced self-forgiveness for events for which I had blamed myself in the past. I accepted that I was still facing challenges in my attempts to return to work and that certain things in my life had passed me by. I forgave the events of the past, and that has helped me to move forward in my life. I learned, however, that I had more experiences to which I could look forward to and how to make each day count.

If you have read Mary’s Prayer, you will find a change in me. At that time, I was just beginning to see the way forward through the research of various books, completing a psychology degree, and finding mentors who had lived experience of my illness. I am very happy to say that I have moved on significantly since then.

Mary’s Prayer was concerned about how I made significant changes in my life. I had been searching for meaning and purpose for many years. It is difficult to say when I had this desire for meaning. I studied and passed professional exams in accountancy until the age of twenty-eight. In the next few years, I was preoccupied with trying to secure permanent employment. When I did