Forever Love

By Kendra Sawtell

Will they survive?

Tanner Collins never expected to see her again after he left her on their wedding day, making the biggest mistake of his life. Now fate is giving him a second chance with the tigress of his dreams. Will she trust him enough to let him back into her life?

Carman Chrysocolla finally got her family back together after years apart. She thought she had everything she ever want until Tanner Collins crashed back into her life. Then again, she could not get rid of this particular male tiger, if she tried.

Now they must rely on each other to survive the fight of their lives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9781524543020

Kendra Sawtell

I have been writing stories all my life. I have worked on this story for many years. I am very proud to present my story to people. Thank you so much for reading my story. Kendra Sawtell.

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Copyright © 2018 by Kendra Sawtell.

ISBN:                  Softcover                  978-1-5245-4303-7

                           eBook                        978-1-5245-4302-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 01/13/2018

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Carmen walked right into the police station. She was getting really, tired of having to come down to this station almost every week. Carman did not bother changing out of her formal backless dress for the opera she was attending for business. She had to leave one of her business partners there with the people that they were trying to make a deal with. She wanted to increase her shipping exports so she had to go to different events in order to relax the people and the kiss ass to get what she wanted. She had been ready to offer the deal when her phone rang. Now she was standing there a little peeved about having to leave.

Ms. Chrysocolla want bring you down there at this later hour?

Detective Fluorite you already know why I am here.

Well you looked gorgeous in that dress anyway, said Detective Fluorite he was an older gentleman and a fellow shifter. He could to shift into a leopard, but she still out weighted him because she was a Siberian Tiger shifter.

He had more than 20 years on the police force. The only thing that set him apart from the other men was his experience and he didn’t not annoy her. He was always the one calling to her to come get them before they did anything more she would later regret. Of course, when shifters were involved; there was always someone calling over their asses.

Thank you, she exhaled, Where are they?

The detective took her back to the holding area were five big, strong, muscular men stood, just jeans and what was left of their shirts. They looked more like they were going to a photo shoot not trying to get out of jail even with their scars.

Do you want me to let them out?

Not right away. Can I get a minute?

I will be right outside the door when you are ready.

Thank you, detective, Carmen listened to the man’s retreating steps then to the gently closing. She heard him sigh, returning to his desk in the front. Even the leopard knew better than to listen in.

Carmen turned back to the men looking at her waiting for her to speak. Well why I am I here a third time this week? I told you that if you have any trouble to call so I can help you, not bail you out all the time. Roy, you are the eldest out of all of us you know about the deal I am working on. Tony, Jo Jo you two are twins but you don’t have to do everything together. Lee, you are always getting to trouble along with Aaron and Aaron just because you are the youngest out of all of us does not mean you haven’t got a brain in your head.

Well are you going to answer me? Carman asked when no one answered her. She watched her brothers all look at Roy to answer her.

Roy let out a sigh before muttering Traitors, to his brothers. Roy looked at his baby sister the only one out of them that could call her that because she was the second eldest.

Well you see there were these girls. Models Lee’s favorite. They liked us so we found a party we decided to crash. He stopped seeing Carmen’s eye narrowing.

Whose party, was it? Carman asked.

Mink’s, answered Aaron. Mink was a wolf shifter who lived with her family’s pack, Since Jo Jo and Tony dumped her sisters she does not like us there so she got the pack to try and chase us. All her brother started grinning expect Roy he was really trying not to.

The whole thing got out of hand at the nightclub on 26th street in full view of humans. No one shifted but the ones you were fighting with took the worse of the beating hence to reason. That you five are locked in the jail. All she got when she finished the rest of the story without being told. Her brothers were just nodding in agreeing with her statement of the story.

Carmen inhaled the strong scent of liquor and women were all over the five of them. She glared at them waiting to talk. They started to stiffen becoming uneasy. She continued to glare at them. Finally, Aaron cracked.

Okay, okay the Alpha challenged us to a fight because we were messing with his harem of she wolves.

Damn Aaron! Why did we take you with us anywhere? Tony almost yelled his statement.

Aaron, that was not cool, Jo Jo add.

Lay off him, Roy came to his brother defense. Lee sighed and shrugged this was a usual thing for him.

She used the eyes! You know I crack under the eyes!

Enough! Carmen yelled. Silence quickly followed. They were all looking at her.

I have already paid for the damages you five caused at the club. I will bail you out but when we get home you will all go to your rooms and go to bed or so help me if I find you out hunting or going over to the females that live near us I will hang whoever it is by their ankles from the roof until the next morning, understand! Carman snarled.

Now she was mad. She was losing a lot of money because they wanted to find a fight. Roy went along to make sure no one would get killed. Out of all of them Roy was the most controlled he spent a lot of time working on it.

Carman spent the last eight years finding them and pulling her brother from the illegal shifter fights. Like Romans gladiators for human history her brothers had fight. They won a lot of money for their master. She was amazed that they had remembered her after so long, living through the hell that the fight pits where. Their father that sold his sons one by one for a lot of money but not Carmen she was whored out to different Tigers at the age of sixteen Roy tried to protect her but their father was stronger than him.

Roy finally told her to run after taking down one of the men her father whored out to for the night. He put her on a train with money that he had saved. Carmen knew her brother would pay for his disobedience. She promised herself that she would find them again.

She vowed to herself that she would come stronger and return for her brothers. That is when she joined the Army and became stronger physical and mentally. She found that the world she left behind that night was dark, disgraceful even to shifter standards which were basically instinct.

After she was discharged from Army with honors and many shifter friends she returned to her old home. She found out that with shifter laws she was in her rights to kill her father if provoked. She did kill him in a furious rage. She lost it when she saw two young girls with bruises and claw marks on the arms and faces. She wiped the smile off his face when she told him who she was because the girl she had been wasn’t the women she became and she did fear him anymore. After she killed him she finding the two young girls. She found out they tiger shifters just learning how to shift when had been kidnapped from their families. They clung to her holding her while they cried even when she was cover in blood.

She found out that the girls were cousins Carrie and Judy McNeil. She gave the girls time to collect themselves before she took them back to their families. After what her father put them through. She thought that just being around her would scare them but to her surprise they were really happy. Carman knew what they went through. They seem to adopt her without her realizing it.

Their families were grateful to get the girls back. They helped her find her brothers. Their fathers gave her money without asking for anything in return when she tried to return to money her business took off. She tried to pay them back they just she was family. Carrie and Judy made her feel like she had sisters. They even did research with their father’s to help find Carman’s brothers. They wanted to do more. Then just do research but Carman put her foot down after she showed them what she could do to a solid steel door needless to say they didn’t argue whenever she said no.

Now her brothers were having a hard time after years of fighting Lee and Roy were the only ones who seem to be at ease even just for a while. Jo Jo, Tony, and Aaron wanted to fight sum times. She made sure they had everything they wanted. She didn’t understand why they would go looking for a fight. After ten years in Army she made in to the rank of Major Coronal among the shifters officers because of her abilities for fighting and her mind. That was something she kept from her brothers.

When her brothers were bailed out and they all piled into the limo that was waiting to take them home. She sat in the middle of the back seat between Lee and Roy. Lee laid has head back relaxing while Roy was reading the opera program. Jo Jo, Tony, and Aaron started arguing again about little things like the food they wanted to eat when they get home.

Carmen was starting to get pissed off. She closed her eye remembering what she had to go through to get her brothers back to reclaim her family even with the extend family she already had.

She listened to the three dumb asses fighting, like two-year old’s as her annoyance grew, trying to remember why she did not want to kill them tonight, right because she would regret it when the morning came. She opened her eyes to see Lee’s body tensing He had fallen asleep but an uneasy one. She put her hand on she chest feeling has heart racing. His eyes snapped open and she caught his clawed hands before he could even lay his hands on her.

Lee, Lee it’s Okay. You’re safe, she repeated it until his he muscles relaxed in his arms. Their brothers did not notice Lee move when because they were arguing still.

Would you three kindly SHUT THE HELL UP!! Roy snapped roaring at his three brothers scaring the driver. The argument stopped dead.

Sorry Ethan, Carman called up to the driver.

I am alright Miss. I just tried to bolt but I am alright, even Ethan was a cheetah shifter.

Carman slowly released her grip on Lee’s wrists. Lee settled back into the seat looking shaken not one of her brothers noticed him sweating. Carmen laid her head on his shoulder.

Lee, Are you alright? she whispered just loud enough so Lee would be the only one to hear her question. He just kissed her head and didn’t answer. She knew when to push Lee this wasn’t the time.

They pulled up to a grand mansion with real forest wrapping around it. The mansion had cost a lot of money but it was well worth it. There were a lot of rooms in this house because of people that came to visit. they had at least three rooms each a bedroom with their own bathrooms, offices, and studies. There were fifty other rooms besides the ones she and her brothers used not including the other buildings on the property.

Their brothers got out leaving Lee and Carman just sat there until Ethan pulled the limo to the garage. Ethan knew better than to ask questions when it came to her brothers.

Madam I am going retire now if I am not required.

Thank you Ethan I don’t think I will need you for the rest of the evening.

Have a good evening Miss, with that Ethan close the door behind him and went to his room above the garage.

Lee sat there with Carmen laying against him she could feel him shaking under her. She waited for him. He was good at hiding the way he felt even when he was scared. If you had seen him at a distance you would have seen a calm cool person but if you were touching him he was shaking.

Lee, Carmen pushed herself up facing her brother, breathe Lee just breathe, she gently put her hands on his cheek looking into his eye.

How? his voice was a whisper.

How what Lee? her voice was gentle.

How did you get over everything?

Carmen looked into Lee’s eyes. They were full of pain and regret. She felt his pain like it was her own. She had done things she wasn’t proud of but she learnt to keep the nightmares away unlike Lee. When the nightmares kept him awake at night. She finally decided to get him medication to help him sleep. He took them sometimes when he knew he needed to sleep and napping wasn’t getting him enough.

You never get over anything. Things that we have done follow us our whole lives. You just have to live with it and not let it control you.

Lee didn’t meet her eyes as she spoke. Carmen sighed then suddenly Lee grabbed her hugging her if she wasn’t one of the strongest female Siberian Tiger shifter Lee’s hugged might have crushed her chest. Lee put his head right against her neck. Carmen felt her shoulder getting wet. Lee’s whole body was shaking more. He was crying.

Her brothers weren’t known for showing weakness like this. They hide their pain every well until they felt safe enough to let it all go. Carmen had Roy braking done like this a year after she found him. She had the twins breaking down about one year after she found them. Aaron did same the year she found him. Their lives were getting rebuilt slowly. She let them live the lives that they wanted without regrets. Lee’s past still haunted him he was the last one to be found and the longest in the pits. It was difficult for him to adjust to this life but this way a big sign for Carmen of progress.

Carmen let him cry petting his head holding him. She was letting him know that he was not alone that his family was there with him like always be when he needed them.

Lee, we started a new life remember. It is hard but we are living it. I will always want you and the others to be happy. Our childhood was horrible but it made us stronger. The pain we endured made us stronger. Lee, please tell me what happened to make you hurt so much?

Lee still crying unable to speak it was like years of tears. Years of pain he couldn’t hold it back and more. Carmen kept holding him. Lee’s arms around her started to loosen. Still Carmen held her brother trying to soothing him. Lee let himself drop fully exhausted into her lap. Carmen didn’t know how long she sat holding Lee.

When Roy came looking for them. Lee was sleeping with his arms around her legs his head on her lap. Carmen slowly moving her hand down his back repeatedly. It was a long night for the both of them.

Car, Roy silently opened the door of the limo.

He’s sound asleep. Poor Lee. What happened at the party?

With a sighed Roy told Carman, Lee ripped off some bears arm and used it as a club after the bear almost took Jo Jo’s head off. That happen in the shifter club. Then we moved the fight outside. He almost lost it. I had to hold him for a good ten minutes before he got control back. After that we got arrested I was scared the Lee was going lose it on the humans who arresting us but he didn’t, thank god.

Carman stopped moving her hand on Lee’s back. Looking in Roy eyes was regret there, too. She also knew Roy was not saying everything that went on.

Aaron went to the party. The four of you followed him. I talked to a few people asking questions to find out the story before I got you guys. The story goes Aaron was challenged and he refused to fight the Alpha. When the Alpha and few of his friends mainly a bear named Ricky jumped him. That is when you guys joined and all hell broke loose. After the bear dropped the fight moved outside getting way out of hand and the police were called. I am so glad the humans didn’t know about Ricky but that one would have been hard to explain. The shifters that work at the station might be stopping by sometime but I will deal with that before it happens.

Lee did the most damage. Even in defense of his brother. It must hurt knowing that it was that easy to cross the line. He tries really hard not to cross it.

He didn’t kill anyone but I bet it sure feels like it, Carman started stroking Lee’s back again.

Do you want to sleep in here with him tonight Car?

No let’s move him to his room. Are the others asleep?

Yeah, Tony knocked Aaron out, Roy was smiling, Jo Jo and him put Aaron in his room in one of your nightgowns.

Oh, which one of my nightgowns? Carman asked as she helped Roy get Lee out of the limo.

The neon pink with black lance on it which I must say looks so much better on you then him.

Okay as long it wasn’t the red one I am okay with that. Thou it seems that they are very childish of course since they never had a really childhood. They are adjusting well.

Roy picked Lee up in a fireman’s carry taking him to his room. Carman opened the doors for him. Then helped him get Lee settled into his bed. Carman let Roy finished settled Lee into his bed.

Carman changed out of her dress into her sleepwear. Then back to Lee’s room. Roy change too decided that he was going to sleep in Lee’s room as well. As soon as Carman was settled into bed next Lee he grabbed her again hugging her Roy looked worried. Roy laying on the other sided of Lee rubbing his’ back.

Poor Lee, Roy whispered, That he did really must have disturbed him.

Losing control is easy but keeping is harder for him, Carmen looked at her brother over Lee’s head. Lee loosened his grip on her again this time she knew he would stay asleep.

Goodnight Roy.

Goodnight Carman.

Roy and Carman shared Lee’s double king size bed with him.

When Carman finally woke the next morning Lee was staring at her fully awake. Regret was still there but some of the pain was lessened. She heard Roy’s snoring on the other side of Lee.

How did you sleep? Carman asked Lee rubbing her eyes.

I slept…, Lee was looking for the right word but all he could do was to start purring. Lee always had trouble finding the right words. He spent a lot of time in his tiger form when he was in the fights. He was reading more and learning all the time even thou it was difficult. He did not talk every much to begin with but he was getting better with that as well.

The word is peaceful, she snorted as she got up turning to Lee. Lee sat up too. Roy was still snoring.

I am sorry Lee.

Why are you sorry? Lee looked at Carman confused.

You were hurting all this time. I didn’t do anything to help you. You made me a promised that you couldn’t keep because you were protecting your brother. It was unfair of me to ask that of you.

Carman I don’t know how to tell you how I feel. The only way I could survive was to lose control. But it is not me. Roy stopped me from losing it entirely. If I lost control again and there would be no to stop me, Lee turned away from Carman. He was telling her what her feared the most.

I trust you little brother, Carman grabbed Lee this time hugging him tight. He hugged her back. They didn’t realize the snoring stopped until Roy’s arms wrapped around them both.

We trust you, Roy corrected.

Roy, Lee growled. Roy let go of Carman grabbed Lee around the waist rolling off the bed pulling Lee out of Carman’s arms. As soon as the hit the floor they started wrestling. Carman shook her head as she walked from the room went to her room to change.

When she came out of her room Aaron was chasing the twins still wearing the nightgown right passed Carman. It would have surprised her more if they had been doing it since they all got drunk one night and did a fashion show. Carman only remembered a few things from that night but pictures say a thousand of words so the twin made it the running joke to dress Aaron in her cloths because out of all her brothers he looked good in most of her things.

Aaron that is so not your color, Carman yelled after them. Aaron’s respond was a pissed off roar.

Carman went to get her breakfast. Their cook, Sunrise had a lot of food ready for them. Having five male tiger shifter’s living in one place they went through a lot of food. Sunrise had fresh coffee on, Carman’s life blood, some days; she was standing there drinking coffee when Roy and Lee walked in. Lee had a couple of healing cuts on his face and Roy had only one on his face. They were both smiling happily. Carman’s eyes started to tear seeing the joy and happiest finally reaching Lee’s eyes. She turned around hiding her face wiping the tears because it she had waited a long time for that moment. Roy took his cup from the cupboard and poured himself a cup of coffee while Lee started dishing up breakfast for himself.

You can call you brothers Carman? Sunrise smiled at Carman.

Carman sucked in a big breath. Roy, Lee and Sunrise covered their ears.

BREAKFAST!!!!!! her roar made the glass in the kitchen shake. The twins came in first about five minute before Aaron came in a little cranky.

They were all changed sitting around the table eating breakfast. Carman remembered the first days with them sitting just staring at the food like it was a trick. Roy had been the first to move then but now they started grabbing food before they had even got sitting down.

She smiled while she grabbing the food she wanted slapping the hands that got in her way. She loved her brothers even if they cost her money. She spent a lot of money on them and to get them back into her life. It took her along time to get them to where they were today not fighting with each other. She proved to them when she pulled them out of the pits for the fights how powerful she really was.

She fought her brothers in the pits. It was only after she had won did they truly remember her. She had made deals with the people that owned them to get them out if she won. By the time she found Lee rumors had spread of what she was doing. Lee was the toughest to fight against.

She made a deal that if she knocked him out she got to take him and any money she places on herself in the fight was his owners. The fight last three hours the odds was against her she just shifted to her feral form while Lee was a tiger. Carman held him off the hold time taking a few hit to keep the crowd happy. Carman finally saw what she wanted the odds would make her winnings six million dollars. With three hits she knocked him out needless to say the crowd went extremely silent after that. Carman took Lee pulling him from that place like she did the others.

She didn’t cage any of them while she rehabilitated them. She gave them a choice when they were ready to have a life. They all chose to stay knowing full well that she would on their butts continually just like any sister of the McNeil’s pride if the males didn’t take care of themselves.

Aaron was always picking at her trying to get under her skin. Aaron learned every early on after Lee joined them how far she could be pushed. He called her a whore in an argument that earned him a first class but kicking. She was glad she had a doctor on staff that at the house that knew about them.

It had scared the rest of her brothers when they hear Aaron’s pelvis break when she nailed him in the crotch. After that the secret that she was keeping from them about their father came out in the open. They were surprised when she told them after Aaron had woken up. They had thought the she wouldn’t have cross that line. Now they all knew better they decide as a family they stay together. Keeping each other safe and happy it took eight years to get here but she was happy to have them back in her life even have to deal with the bullshit that they had to go with. There were not many shifters that were not scared of her brothers because of what they had heard about them. Many shifters that meet the brothers where scared at first until they got to know the brothers.

Well what are the plans for the day? asked Tony smiling at a photo he was holding while watching Aaron fume about it because the twins had taking a lot of picture of Aaron in different outfits of Carman’s, when they were mad at him. Carman was surprised that the outfits fit him because their body types were different special when she bought new cloths. Aaron was always upset about it because the twins would always knock him out first then take pictures after. They now had nice collection of photos. Carman made sure those photos never saw the light of day because it would hurt Aaron.

I have a few meetings then I am going to relax.

What? Miss workaholic is going to relax, Tony and Jo Jo said it as one which would have surprised everyone that didn’t know them.

Just because I work to make that money in this house doesn’t mean I can’t relax when I want to.

Carman got up and took her dishes to the counter. Lee and Roy followed with their own dishes. Aaron was still fuming and stuffing his face. The twins were just finishing up.

Carman leaned against the counter after getting another cup of coffee. Lee left going to do whatever he wanted. The twins left shifting into tigers with the cloths on going to have so fun chasing some poor animal or hangout in the shade. Before Roy had a chance to leave.

Aaron? Why were you at the party?

Damn, was the only thing Roy said even if was a whisper Carman heard it clearly. Roy turned back up putting himself between Aaron and Carman. Roy didn’t have to but to made Carman feel better because she knew Aaron wasn’t going to like this conversation. She felt the something was off about him.

I told you already what happened, Carman, Aaron leaning back in to his chair watching her and waiting.

You didn’t tell me the whole story. Aaron did you see want Lee did to that bear shifter?

Aaron stiffen he saw what Lee did. He saw him losing control like that. That was what Carman was trying to tell him about thinking things through before doing things.

Yeah I saw as Tony took down the wolf pack that decided to play crush the cat.

That is not my favorite game either Aaron. Last night was hard for Lee and you know it. That is why I want to know why you want to piss off the Mustang Wolf Pack?

Aaron didn’t say anything he just stared at Carman. She stared right back waiting for Aaron to answer meanwhile Roy was watching them both waiting for something to happen.

I didn’t want to talk about it. With that Aaron got up and tried to leave but Carman wasn’t done with him.

It had to do with Melody didn’t it, that stopped Aaron dead in his tracks as he was trying to leave the kitchen. Melody was a young she wolf that just became the second mate of the Mustang pack leader after the first one died in a car accident. Melody was now pregnant with the old wolf’s kid. Aaron liked her. She was his friend but she was just using him to get want she wanted. Melody wanted Aaron to test the old Alpha to see how stable her position as new Alpha female was. Aaron couldn’t see pass the baby blue eyes of her to see the heartless girl behind them. Carman did, she knew the old wolf saw everything that is why the he had bears as guard at the party because he knew his new mate very well, enough to expect a challenge for practice.

I do not want to talk about it.

Aaron she is using you. Damn it you knew too. You aren’t blind until she blinks those eyes of her at you. I didn’t want you to go off and get killed because of her.

Aaron turned back to Carman and Roy. Roy stood there glaring at Carman wishing she would stop picking at Aaron the poor guy went through a hell of a morning with the twins now their sister had to start in on him too.

Aaron face was blank like something snapped in his mind Carman I hit the nail on the head. Aaron wanted to died. That is what he was hiding something after all this time she thought her little brother was getting better but he wasn’t he started hating himself just like Lee was hating losing control.

Why can you let me be? Aaron yelled at Carman his eyes still blank.

I am not going to let you kill yourself because you hate looking in the mirror, Carman yelled back.

Roy’s eye widened in shock she, knew that Aaron told Roy that he didn’t tell her or couldn’t because she was a woman and wouldn’t understand. He told Roy last night he wanted to die a reach for help. Roy did not understand then either but he had gone after his brother at the party. Bringing their brothers with him before they could lose him.

Aaron stood defenses striped away by one sentence. Carman’s seeing the truth, did that to him. Aaron legs gave way before he hit the floor Carman had her arms around him lowering herself and him to the floor. Aaron arms didn’t grab her and push her away like he usually did. She didn’t know what the hell he did to himself but his breathing wasn’t right.

Roy call the Doctor now, was the only thing she said as she laid Aaron on the floor. Lee came running in carry a bottle of sleeping pills. When he saw Aaron he swore. Roy was on the phone telling the Doctor to move her ass to get the kitchen at the house as fast as possible.

There was six left, Lee stated and turned the bottle upside down nothing came out.

Why you little bastard don’t do this to us, Carman said starting CRP on her brother. She could barely feel his pulse as the doctor and her train stuff came running in. The money spent in making a hospital part of her house was a good investment with their entire neighborhood being shifters that couldn’t go to normal hospitals.

They quickly took over from her, Roy wrapped his arms around Carman keeping her out of the way. Carman didn’t really enjoy them there but right now she was grateful they were there. Lee left to find the twins outside while Roy and Carman followed the staff taking their brother to the hospital wing of their home.

Carman and her brothers sat there waiting for news on Aaron in the family waiting room. The twins got up and started pacing again. They couldn’t seat still.

You would sit down you are starting to make me sick, Roy watched them moving back and forth.

Roy, how can you be so damn calm, Jo Jo snapped as he and Tony sat down across from Roy and Carman again.

I am not. I am just and worried as you. You think I could have seen this coming after talking with him.

No one saw it coming, Lee spoke standing, resting against the window to the hall, If we are going to start pointing fingers at ourselves or others I will start breaking fingers.

The brothers looked at Lee with something other than respect maybe annoyance. The few times Lee ever spoke like that while everyone was around it would always surprise their brothers.

Lee’s right. I just want to know what drove him this far? Carman looked into each of her brothers faces. They all wanted to know the answer to that question.

The Doctor walked in. They all stood up her brothers making the doctor look like a midget. Her brothers being all over six five and she being five nine the doctors was five two she was defiantly a midget when Carman’s brothers were standing.

How is he? Carman stood looking right at the Doctor.

He is stable. Physically he will recover but I am worried about his mental health.

Can we see him?

He is asking to see Carman.

With that the Doctor walked out Carman felt her brother’s hands touch her back and arms as she followed the Doctor out. The Doctor walked her down the corridor to the side halls near the nurse’s station. She could see her brother from the nurse’s station a small sign hug on the side of the door saying, ‘suicide watch’. Carman fought urge to rip the sign off the wall and whip it down the hall, barely.

The Doctor let her go in alone Carman turned shutting the door before the doctor had time to complain locking it. Carman turned back to her brother going to him undoing the straps around his wrists so he wouldn’t hurt himself that the staff put on him. Settling herself on the edge of the hospital bed holding Aaron’s hand stroking his cheek. Aaron just laid there with his eyes closed.

What I am going to do with you? she no louder than a whisper.

You can let me go to my room for starters, Aaron said opening his eyes not looking at her. He could not bring himself to look Carmen in the eye.

Aaron, she sighed out then laying herself on Aaron wrapping him in a hug, Why did you want to scare us so badly we thought that… She couldn’t finish the sentence she did want think about her how close her brother had come to dying in her arms.

I am sorry; it’s just that you were right. Carman, you were right about me wanting to die.

Carman sat up looking at Aaron he still wouldn’t look at her.

Why?

I hate myself.

Aaron, Carman knew that it wasn’t his only reason, Who do you love?

What! Aaron was now looking at her confused at the question. She grabbed his jaw so he couldn’t turn is head away again.

You heard me don’t play dumb. I am not in the mood to play any games with you. You took Lee’s sleeping pills. You going to go off and die alone. You going to leave us to and pick up the pieces of our shattered lives. I don’t know if I could go through that kind of thing again.

Aaron didn’t know what to say to his sister. Aaron didn’t know what kind of things she had gone through but she wasn’t happy about it. There was a whole part of her life he didn’t know about. He didn’t know he was crying until Carman wept tears from his cheek letting go of his chin.

Sorry, Aaron couldn’t say anything more. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at her in the eye again.

Don’t be for crying, Carman took her brothers hand again resting it in her lap. Held it then with her other hand she rubbing his cheek again.

Why are we so screwed up Car? Aaron rubbed is eyes with his other hand.

It’s life. I am not one who just tried to kill myself, Carman was very sarcastic rolling her eyes.

Aaron cracked a small smile finally met Carman’s eyes holding them with his. She moved her hand from Aaron’s face to rest on his chest feeling heart beating. She needed that reassurance that he was alive.

I hurt you didn’t I and others?

No. You heart is still beating so I can really be mad at you but I would like an explanation about this thou.

You are going to drag it out of me aren’t you?

I would beat it out of you but I don’t think our brothers could go through that after almost losing you.

You always know how to get into our heads. You hold us like a mother would hold a hurt child but who holds you Carman?

We aren’t talking about me we are talking about you. You collapsed in the kitchen while we were talking about Melody and you.

I remember before I blacked out you caught me. You were across the room from me Roy was closer so how fast were you moving? Carman didn’t answer.

Stop trying to change the subject Aaron. Why do you hate yourself so much?

Aaron was trying not to tell Carman why he hated himself. Why for years in fight pits he hate himself because he was like his old man. Brutal, savage, uncaring he didn’t even care what happened to his brothers or to her to anyone else. He was busy protecting his own ass after the pit master that had him broken in.

You aren’t like him Aaron you know that, Carman looked into her brother’s eyes and saw coldness, loneliness, fear, pain.

I am losing myself Carman. I feel like I can’t stop it. I hate it. I am weak not strong like all of you.

That is where you are wrong Aaron. You are strong because you lived through hell in the pit like the others. You didn’t give up even after you lost everything. You didn’t give up then and I am not going to give up on you as long as your heart is still beating. Hell even if it stops I will not yet you go little brother. Beside do you think the others would let you get off that easy? They understand because they have lived the same way as you for years. It is harder to live then it is to die.

Aaron looked at his sister really looked at her. Looking straight into her eyes. He saw hope, love, loneliness, fear all the feelings he felt welling up in his chest. He saw the scared little girl she used to be and the power house woman that now sat next to him. Aaron sat straight up wrapping his sister in a crushing hug like Lee’s accept stronger. It was strange for Aaron that he needed to hold his sister. Just holding Carman seemed to make the world better for him like she was a shield from him but now he need to became a shield for himself. He needed to become the man that Carman saw in him not the animal that he was but the man. She was giving all of them back their humanity Aaron never realized that he had almost lost it.

Aaron I do need to breath you know, Carman gasped because she didn’t except Aaron to hold her so tight.

Sorry, he loosened his grip on her so she could breathe.

You are going to be alright now. These will not happen again will it? Carman voice was commanding making Aaron look into her eyes.

No it wouldn’t. I think I can find something worth living for.

Hell if you need a reason I could have given you five, Carman lifted her hand and started counting off, Roy, Lee, Tony, Jo Jo, and of course me. Duh!

Carman was smiling wide at him. She knew him so well she hadn’t lived with any of her brothers for years but she found them making them a family again.

Carman pulled out of Aaron’s arms and walk back to the door unlocking it. A fuming nurse stood there.

Miss Chrysocolla this door has to remain open, the nurse snapped.

The Doctor came running towards them as her brothers came around the corner at the other end of the corridor. They had been waiting for Carman to reopen the door.

That is enough Jennifer if Miss Chrysocolla wants the door closed then we will allow it. The Doctor said dragging the nurse away from the door as the rest of Aaron’s family reached them.

Is he okay? Roy asked as Lee walked right passed with pants and a shirt for Aaron because the cloths he had been wearing were cut off by the medical staff.

I want to get him back to the house. Tony, Jo Jo do you think to lay off him for a while please.

Yeah we can do that, said Jo Jo.

That is hell of a way to get us to stop putting him in your clothes for a while, added Tony.

They all left the hospital. Tony and Jo Jo started wrestling with Aaron as they got back to the house making Carman felt like everything was going to be okay even thou he nearly lost him that morning. They weren’t very rough with him.

They had missed lunch so Sunrise had more food for them now before leaving for the night. They all sat down at the table again eating. No one was talking.

Shoot, Carman said looking at the time remembering a meeting she had missed. Her brothers were looking at her confused.

You forgot a meeting didn’t you? Roy said smiling his widest smile he could manage because this was the first time she missed a meeting without rescheduling when she had to cancel it.

Chalk it up as a family an emergency, said Tony, You wouldn’t be lying.

I am not looking forward to calling my business partner. I probability cost him the deal today. Carman sighed before smiling then laughing.

What is up hyena? asked Jo Jo.

The guy that we were dealing with has pet skunks. They aren’t descended, Carman answered between tears of laugher.

Oh, your partner not going to forgive you, said Roy barking out laughing. Then their brothers joined in laughing. They remembered their dealing with skunks on the property. They learn if they didn’t want to smell like them to leave them alone. Of course Carman had to be the only one the skunks didn’t sprayed but she end up smelling like them because she had to help her brothers get clean. She called in a few of the McNeil females to help get her brothers clean.

No, he wouldn’t forgive me because I never told him about the skunks, Carman was shrieking with laugher. That is when Lee hit the floor laughing. The twins were crying they were laughing so hard. Aaron was trying to breath he was laugh so hard. Roy slid for his chair laughing. Aaron final got stopped himself long enough to ask.

Which of your partners was it? he asked through tears.

Eric Tomas the lion shifter from New York. He not the best one to deal with but he wanted the land the old guy had down around New York but if his started growling which I knew he will. He would get anything from any of the pride females for about a month. Carman started laughing again while her brothers were almost rolling on the floor. Then phone started ringing. Carman got up and got the phone but her brothers were still laughing so she had to go into the living room to answer it.

Hello Carman speaking, she was trying to muffle the laughing,.

This Emma Nolan calling on behave of Eric Tomas. He would like to know what happened and… Carman heard growling, snapping, and swearing about Eric smelling on the other end of the phone some distance from the phone but with her hearing she was able to pick the conversation.

Emma can you tell him that I am sorry I forgot to tell him about the skunks. Also tell him that he is being rude to your sisters, Carman said cutting Emma off.

How did you know that my sisters were or are trying to help him get the smell out, Emma sounded like she was laughing about this too.

I am a tiger shifter Emma with good hearing. I am really sorry I had a family emergency this morning. One of my brothers collapsed on us. So I missed all my meetings that I had planned for today.

Is he all right? Can you hold minute.

Sure I am not going anywhere.

There was silent until Carman heard splashing sound on the other end of the phone followed by more swearing.

Sorry about that Eric is being a pain. He is so whiny right now.

That is fine and my brother is okay now.

Good to hear he fine. Eric said that deal fell through. He is more than a little upset about it.

That is understandable but I told him it was going to be a one shot deal. I am sorry you have to do with the aftermath.

He is sorrier then I am, Emma said almost laughing, Oh, he is so not enjoining his bath in tomato juice.

Is he fuming?

Yes, but not because of you Carman. The other males we have here, are making a video about this whole experience.

Do you think I could get a copy? Carman heard a roar coming over the phone that made her pulled it away from her ear.

Would stop complaining already! You knew you have to get clean! shouted Emma at Eric, Sorry about that Eric heard you.

I guessed that. Tell him that I am sorry again and hope we can do business in the future.

Yes, hope your day goes better for you. Good bye Carman.

I hope your goes better as well Emma, Good bye.

Carman returned to the kitchen after hanging up the phone to tell her brothers what happened to Eric. Her brothers were still laughing now they were rolling on the floor after she told them about Eric. Yap, Eric was never going to do business with her again. When finally stopped laughing, Poor Eric that must be horribly to be embarrassing in front of everybody, said Aaron while wiping tears from his eyes. All of them were know sitting at the table again just breathing after calming down.

Well at least we had the showers near the lake, said Jo Jo remembering the time they decided to chase a skunk. The McNeil girls that Carman called for help really loved the fact the Carman had called them for a free show. Since Carman and her brother were the only ones that could shift with their clothes and other things they carried on the them, instead of shifting naked like other shifters.

He will never deal with you again will he? asked Tony smiling.

No. I don’t think he will. Unless he wants to deal with skunks again, Carman snorted.

Oh, you’re mean, Jo Jo said as he got up, Come on Tony let get some exercise in before dinner? With that the twins left through the kitchen doors in the backyard shifting on the way. Lee disappeared after the twins left going into the living room turning on the 12 foot TV Carman had made for them with the surround sound entertainment system complete with the addition of three different gaming systems.

Lee decided to watch racing. Aaron left to join Lee in the living room leaving Carman and Roy in the kitchen. Sunrise left for the evening leaving snacks and things out for them. Dinner was going to be cold sandwiches and beer a regular Friday night dinner for them Sunrise made sure they had everything they needed before leaving for the evening.

So want do you think about Aaron did? asked Roy bring over the coffee pot with him joining Carman sitting at the table again. Roy poured more coffee for Carman and waited for her answer.

I don’t understand it really. He isn’t like that old man but he sees himself as him.

They do look alike maybe that is the problem. We all ignore the physical similarly but Aaron just sees that bastard.

I have to admit that Aaron looks like him in some ways but so do all of you. I didn’t really spend much time in the pits unlike you and the others. Maybe the only way that all of you survived as long as you did was because of that bastards training. He made you violently out of control so you could fight and win. Maybe he had deals that allowed him to make money off his son while he was still alive.

That would fit his style wouldn’t it? We do have a problem with Aaron thou don’t we.

I think we should just watch him. Making sure he doesn’t do anything more stupid then coming that close to dying. He really scared me, after what we have gone through. I thought that he was happy.

He was happy but he hated himself. The hatred got the better of him. I think Lee is going to be locking his room for now on.

I wish he wouldn’t but the chances that might be repeated. It is hard not to agree with that analyzes. I really feel sorry for Lee I bet he feels a like an idiot for leaving his meds out in the open.

We all leave our meds all over but Lee’s are the strongest.

I really didn’t think Aaron will do that again something happened when I was talking with him. He grabbed me and tried to hug that life out of me for the first time. Normally his hugs are gentle like I am made of glass but he squeezed me like a boa after he woke up.

Temporary moment of insanity for him after having a near death experience it is normal, Roy joked Maybe, Carman snorted, I think something in him changed thou like he wanted to hold me to protect me, get closer to me like you did when I first pulled you from the pits and brought you home.

You mean when I cried like a little girl for eight hours while you held me.

I am happy you aren’t ashamed to admit that you cried like a little girl.

I am because if our brothers find out I am going to have to brake more than a few bones to make them cry like little girls.

If they find out and make fun of you. I will make them cry like little girls, Carman smiled wide thinking about everything she did to get back her brothers. Then she thought of the biggest secret she kept from them the smile slowly faded.

Carman, Are you okay?

Yeah I am okay it just the whole thing with Aaron brought back some memories back that aren’t really the happiest now but at the time I was really happy to the point of ecstasy. Things didn’t go to plan so it hurts but finding you guys helped a lot. I am really enjoying having guys in my life.

When were aren’t getting in fights, being bailed out of jail, causing chaos were ever we roam, Roy was getting into what he was saying rolling his eyes while he was talking, making fun of what he and their brothers had been doing since they got there.

Sarcasm is not really you. That is more something like Tony, or Jo Jo would say.

Well they are certainly unavailable at the moment so I am filling in, Roy was smiling but the smile never met his eyes like it usually did. Carman knew he was worried about her. Soon she would have to tell him everything but she couldn’t. Not yet it hurt too much still. So, she did want she always did focused on her brothers or work.

Thanks, Carman said smiling back at her big brother, I think Aaron is apologizing to Lee.

Carman and Roy stopped talking listening they could hear the television and heard grunting coming from the living room. They heard a loud crack of furniture being broken.

Are you sure that Lee isn’t going to kill him? Roy asked as they went to the living room to see what had been broken.

No, Lee knows better he might break Aaron thou.

Carman and Roy walked into see Lee and Aaron laying on what remained of a very nice oak coffee table. Lee had in a headlock locked on Aaron with Aaron trying to get brake the lock without success. Even being in a headlock Aaron was smiling. Lee had the headlock in locked but without the presser to knock him out.

Lee what did Aaron say? asked Roy smiling at his brothers wrestling. Lee didn’t say anything because Aaron started to drive is elbows into his sides still trying to break the headlock. Carman walked over to the couch to find the remains of the TV remote.

It is not what he said but what he did, said Carman as lifted the remains of the remote, I think I would put him in a headlock as well.

Aaron, why would you destroy the remote for the television?

Roy, stop whining I have more we just need to program it for the TV. Lee, you can let Aaron unless you want to continue destroying the living room which you and Aaron will be getting the things you destroyed from storage in the basement.

Lee was smiling as Aaron still throwing elbows into his sides. Carman had to admit Lee could take hit from her brothers and still have a stupid smile on his face. Roy held the remains of the remote looking at it as if his best friend that died. What the world be without a TV remote Carman really had no idea but living with five males who when watching TV come be really, really lazy. So lazy that they would watch whatever came on even if they had seen it three times that day.

Carman learned after the first two years that they were altogether it was always better to buy things in bulk and if she bought furniture she liked, to buy more than one. With Five fighting males in the house she had to ref or go in and brake the fight up. The furniture was always the victims when the fights broke out. Buying in bulk really was the only way to go she made sure that her brothers were taught things that they might not have learned. It was awkward when she had to take a page for a wolf’s play book because a seventeen year old male wolf were really horny so safe sex was really important because she really didn’t want to be an Aunty just yet. So she drummed it into them Condoms! Condoms! Condoms! She even went as far as to hide the boxes all over the house because you never know. She was really happy about doing that because when she went on a business trip.

When she came home she found a lot of naked females she wolves, lioness, tigress, even a few bears naked all over the house and her brothers lying amidst them also naked. She saw the liquor bottles all over the house and condom rappers and used condoms. She really didn’t know happened until a few of the she wolves woke up with hangovers. Then she decided to make breakfast for everyone a get them underwear because those weren’t fast enough getting them off when really horny tigers wanted to have sex even if they were drunk at the time her brothers ripped the underwear off.

After talking to every one of the females Carman found out at all of them were extremely satisfied. Most of the girls that had left had some trouble walking Carman could only laugh watching the girls leave. Her brothers were passed out naked still after all the girls left. She put blankets over them and piles of food out around them in the living room. She sat there waiting until they woke. Roy wake up first the look on his face was still priceless. One by one they woke up all of the faces were just as priceless. They were unsure what she saw until they saw the results of their evening. They couldn’t look at her straight in the face for a while, until she showed them the tape of the girls walking out of the house and telling her about the evening or want they could remember about it at least. Since then they made up some rules now they only bring a few girls home with them taking them to their rooms, apartments or get hotel rooms.

Lee let him go, said Carman after getting a new remote from the cupboard and started programming it for the TV while Roy disposed of the broken one. Aaron was still elbowing Lee’s sides. Lee wasn’t undoing the head lock he had on Aaron anytime soon. Roy had returned and Carman finished programming the remote. Then Roy and Carman grabbed Aaron’s arms hauling him up did Lee finally let go of him still smiling.

Damn Lee all I did was break the remote, said Aaron rubbing his

Reviews for Forever Love

[tanat-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Forever Love by Deborah Armstrong

I received this book from the author and Making Connections group to read and write an honest review. Thank you Deborah. Deborah's writing is easy to read, plot and character description are well written, the story flows quite well and I found it an enjoyable read. This appears to be Deborah's debut novel and she has done a terrific job.

In Forever Young we meet Davina Stuart, who is an author and is flying to Los Angeles to talk about a movie script of her bestselling novel Second Harvest. During the flight she meets Quinn who is one of Hollywood’s heartthrobs. Well things only get better from here, Quinn is enthralled with Davi and Davi is just thinking about a handsome young man and maybe a quick one night stand. Quinn cannot believe his luck and feels a connection to Davi instantly. Davi and Quinn spend as much time as they can while Davi is in town and you can see the romance unfolding right before your eyes.

Davi is in her later 40's and cannot believe Quinn wants more than a one night stand, Quinn and Davi's relationship is not something Davi would of thought possible. But of course there are issues they will have to deal with, one being the age difference as she has children close to Quinn age. Also the lifestyle, Davi lives on her ranch and loves the quiet life; she knows she could not do the Hollywood thing.

Can love at first sight be true, can Davi trust this relationship, and will her family be okay with it? Or will they all laugh at her and think she has gone crazy. Can she love again?

Read Forever Love and watch the story unfold; it was quite a good romance novel. There is romance, suspense and even some laughs. I have rated the book a 4 star rating and cannot wait to read the sequel. Which I am hoping is coming soon!