Nuthouse Episode

By Kinga Stefaniec

This collection of poems, written in psychiatric hospitals, tells about the experience of mental patients. Isolation, injections, a strict environment of raw laws and struggles with mental illness. Addictions and the love for a woman who gives meaning to the madness. The philosophy of psychoneurosis to search for details of the fabric of the universe and golden eternity. Love and desire, human contact, queer heritage, and the question of identity. Importance is in the presence of the city of Bristol and the city legends present in some poems. The city is personalized and connected with the poets sense of identity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: May 31, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543490695

Book preview

Copyright © 2018 by Kinga Stefaniec.

ISBN:      Softcover          978-1-5434-9070-1

                eBook                978-1-5434-9069-5

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 05/30/2018

Xlibris

800-056-3182

www.Xlibrispublishing.co.uk

776447

Contents

(Relanium words)

9thdream irrelevant

Bearpit Story

Behind Glass

Bridge 9

City Lights

Dissolved Sun

Dream Machine

Ecstasy asylum

Esprit de corps!

Explosives Under Special Supervision

fingerprints

Full metal straight jacket

God Bless Avenue

Henrietta Chinaski

Hitchhiker

Hour of Thoughts

mind vs universe

My room centre of Earth

Nude body of reality

offline

Out of body experience

Out of darkness

Parallel Distributed Alien Processing

Polish pike

Princess On The Seed Of Grass

Radiation

ReaLithium

Split Time Pieces

St. OK’s Croft (enter the animation)

Suicide letter

Time squad

Trippin’ souls

Visions of Allen

Visions of french baquette

Visions of Jack Kerouac

Winter dream of Buddha Cat

Rapid Tranquil Kit (inside a nut house)

boxing with me

cool smoke

dry milk

four faced god

glass mountains

I am ink

injection projection

inside

lisergic acid

love letter

Blade Runner

she

speed of sound

Kinga Stefaniec

This is collection of my poems written between 1998 – 2018. I wanted to tell my story with strong language. Poems tells about travels, fighting with loneliness, addictions and experience of mental hospital patient. In 2015, I was admitted to medium secure hospital in Bristol where I am still till present day.

I write all about struggling with isolation, recall trips, physical and mental trips. I write about drugs and alcohol openly as filters of reality. As a way of liberation from social norms and expansion of perception. Struggling with hangover and side effects, mood disorders and mental illness. Sleep deprivation, fasting and meditation to reach altered states of mind. States opened with chemical keys.

Crossing thin line of sanity, I enter world of psychotic correlations with identity, biology of sex and homosexual desire. I look at myself as a mixture of feminine and masculine. I explore the vision of mind and body itself as a part of a Universe. Micro cosmos of imprinted mind into whole. I am interested with gnostic conversations with God, existence of God inside myself, reincarnation and philosophy of Cosmic Energy.

I believe in role of language as a system of communication to represent the creation of my own reality, subjective vision of it. As a carrier of significant meanings correlated with words as separate realities containing whole Universe or simple existence.

The edge of sanity is also relationship with another woman. Toxic or unhealthy gay relationship, but presence of another human being itself is very important. Woman is a reason why I end up in asylum. It is always