It’S Not as Easy as It Looks: Cancer, Faith, and All the Madness

By Michael Bowling

Its Not As Easy As It Looks follows the story of Michael Bowlings many surprise cancer diagnoses from the first day. Each chapter was written and posted usually within hours of the events it describes. All the hope and disappointment, all the strange and unforeseen events, and all the humor that cancer brings are detailed. Michaels friends serve as commentators along the way. As the story progresses, the doctors are often more surprised than the patient. What will happen next? God reveals Himself throughout in ways unexpected, but you will have to see it to believe it!

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512792386

Michael Bowling

Michael Bowling was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma in August 2014 and has been blogging about it ever since. Cancer has been found in his left kidney, small intestines, brain, and both lungs. Almost 40 different doctors in four hospitals and countless nurses have had a hand in his treatment. After enduring multiple surgeries, biopsies, chemotherapy, radiation, over 30 MRIs and CTs, and myriad other tests, his sense of humor remains intact. Michael owns his own business and lives in Greenhills, Ohio, just north of Cincinnati.

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 Michael Bowling.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-9237-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-9236-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-9238-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017909998

WestBow Press rev. date: 7/11/2017

On Aging

All the tests and doctors’ skills

Medication and prescribed pills

The therapy, exercise, all are fine

But nothing turns back the hands of time

So learn to live with what it takes

To make the best of your pains and aches

And enjoy your remaining time on earth

‘Cause we all start to die on the day of our birth.

Anna Mae O’Connor Bowling

April 23, 1905–August 8, 1987

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

1.      My Story

2.      Rough Night Followed By A Good Day And Night (And Day)

3.      First Doctor, Come On Down

4.      Minor Triumphs, And Complaints, Plus Fate

5.      What Are You Waiting For?

6.      Another Day, Another Test

7.      And The Winner Is …

8.      Another Day, Another Test Part B, Plus Complaints Part 2

9.      Potpourri

10.    Just The Facts, Ma’am: Part 1 Of The Transitions Trilogy

11.    The Story: Part 2 Of The Transitions Trilogy

12.    Observations: Part 3 Of The Transitions Trilogy

13.    Thanks: Part 4 Of The Transitions Trilogy

14.    The Adventure Continues

15.    The Results Are In

16.    Wheels Within Wheels

17.    A Riddle Wrapped In A Mystery Inside An Enigma

18.    Testing One, Two, Three … I’m Picking Your Nose Again

19.    If You Could Read My Brain Scans, What A Tale My Scans Could Tell

20.    The Ordinary And The Extraordinary

21.    Today Is Not July 10

22.    A Quantum Leap Forward

23.    Just Do It

24.    Yes! We Have No Bananas

25.    The Inmates Are Running The Asylum

26.    Bonus Round

27.    Not Retired, Just Tired

28.    Cancer Is 90% Mental And The Other Half Is Physical

29.    This Is Like Real Science

30.    Once More Unto The Breach, Dear Friends

31.    I’m Starting To Get Annoyed: Part 1 Of Infinity

32.    You Have A Big Chart

33.    Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This

34.    Oh No! He Has A Blog!

35.    Watching Paint Dry

36.    I’m Stuck Here

37.    More Smaller

38.    Waiting For Godot

39.    One Million Dollar Man

40.    A Little Here, A Little There

41.    Decisions, Decisions

42.    My Head Hurts

43.    The Odds Get Even

44.    Corpus Delicti

45.    I Said I Would Never Do This

Epilogue

Preface

For months I had been writing a book without knowing it. I thought I was simply keeping my friends and business associates up to date on my condition. They saw it differently, however. Within days of my diagnosis, some friends began encouraging me to take the few updates I had written for them and publish a book. I had another viewpoint: there was nothing to publish. Like countless others, mine was just another story about cancer. The only difference between what I was doing and all the others was that it was about me, not someone else.

That changed in mid-January of 2015. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. It did happen. Yet little did anyone know that what we thought was the dramatic surprise ending was only a pause between rounds. My friends were right. In my weakened emotional state I succumbed to their wishes. I published.

Books about cancer have been written from every perspective imaginable. Among the many flavors, this one is about the cancer experience. It is not about diets, treatments, outlook, attitude, or advice, although it does contain some advice and a lot attitude. It is more about what happened as it happened. All the usual content is here, including hope and fear, encouragement and disappointment, joy and frustration, relationships, faith, and more than my share of unexplained coincidences (or perhaps miracles). My friends think this is the funniest cancer tale they have ever heard, and that is no joke. It is not a memoir or a reflection, but a compilation of blog posts I made as life and circumstances conspired against me, and I fought back with help from God and other friends.

It was tempting to make this into a Christian book. I am, after all, a Christian before I am anything else, and I see everything through a thoroughly Christian lens. Many of the people rooting for me, though, were Jewish, Hindu, or irreligious. It was a challenge to be true to my faith and experience without excluding people who care about me. After some thought, early on I decided to take more of a Christian who has cancer angle rather than cancer from a Christian perspective. The difference might not be meaningful to others, but from the beginning there were many choices to make, and I chose thin rather than thick.

Each short chapter is a blog post written soon after the events it describes, along with the comments made by friends. There were slight edits for the sake of grammar and to protect privacy and decency. In places the contents are self-serving, as the flattering comments were left in. To fill out the story, following the comments, I have sometimes added information or events that were left out when the posts were first written. On occasion, there was originally a link to a video found on YouTube. Instead of providing the link, the exact title is provided so the curious can find it. The videos make the story better, but they are not crucial.

Almost all of my care providers and many of my friends are mocked throughout, sometimes for fun and sometimes more earnestly. I think they have no idea how their words and actions affect those who are in a crisis. They have been given no chance to defend themselves. Therefore, my doctors go unnamed, and commenters have a first name and initial only. It is my hope that they will appreciate this favor.

Michael Bowling

July 2017

Acknowledgments

I am grateful to the Mylifeline Cancer Foundation for providing a forum for my blog at no cost. It has made many aspects of my life, and the lives of other cancer patients, much easier. I am grateful for the many people, too numerous to name, who encouraged and supported me for the past three years, especially those who cut my grass, cleaned my house, fed my cat, drove me to appointments, visited me in the hospital, sent notes, or prayed. Most, but not all, of their names appear in the comments of the chapters.

Several of my friends are doctors of one kind or another, but if I mention their names here, then everyone will seek the same free medical advice they provided for me. I would be remiss if I did not specifically thank my imaginary friend, Jeremy Bell, who has done more for me than anyone else by a significant margin, and Maria Samad, who helped me out in a pinch on many occasions and also helped with editing (it isn’t her fault). Mostly, I am grateful to God. Read what follows and you will know why.

Chapter 1

MY STORY

Posted on August 23, 2014, at 9:33 p.m.

Thank you for coming to my site.

Following a night of symptoms that would indicate a kidney stone, on the morning of Thursday, August 21, a huge mass was found on my left kidney. It is a minimum of 12 to 13 cm long at its maximum extent and presumed malignant until proven otherwise. Two CT scans show the mass and indicate that it has not spread yet. There was no kidney stone.

The ER doctor instructed me to schedule appointments with an oncologist and urologist because they are going to want to take that thing out of there. He added that I should tell the schedulers that the situation is extremely urgent and should not be postponed.

After getting out of the ER, I spent eight hours on the phone with doctors, friends, family, and coworkers. Everyone has been very supportive.

Although I know very little of what is happening and have more questions than answers, everything is in fast motion (and not moving fast enough).

Prayers and email are welcome 24 hours a day; however, conversation should be limited to the hours of 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. I do not text.

Peace to you, and thank you again for visiting.

2 Corinthians 12:9–10

There are few things that will get a person to the hospital faster than a pint of dark brown blood-filled urine. Even without that symptom, the pain alone was sufficient to motivate the trip.

My trip to the ER began unremarkably. I filled out the paperwork, waited for a few minutes, and they took me back. By the time I met the doctor my urine was clear and the pain was gone. I felt a little embarrassed for having come in. The doctor asked if I had ever had a kidney stone. It didn’t matter that I had not, because I clearly had one now. To be on the safe side, he ordered a CT scan. He wasted no time in coming back to my bed to tell me the news. He then ordered a second CT to be sure. After talking to me for a few minutes about what was happening, he asked me to repeat back what he had said.

Before going to the ER, I called my assistant, Maria, to let her know where she could find me. As soon as I was discharged I called her again, as she was waiting to hear any news. Once I said the words I have cancer out loud, the bigness of it all began to settle in. Then the long process began. I called the urologist’s office and told them just what the ER doc had told me to say, adding, Have mercy on the patient who has no idea what is going on. The earliest they could get me in was in five days. Often in medicine if something is perceived not to have medical urgency, then it does not have any urgency. Waiting for five days consisted of a lot of anxiety in addition to bloody urine. In my book it was urgent.

Next, I called my GP (general practitioner) to request an oncology referral. The person answering the phone said she would have to talk to the doctor and get back to me. An hour later she called back wondering about the purpose of the request. What other reason is there to request an oncologist? She had to call back again to give me a name. Immediately I called that doctor only to find he was not taking new patients. The woman on the phone then gave me the number of another oncologist. Finally I had an appointment.

Chapter 2

ROUGH NIGHT FOLLOWED BY A GOOD DAY AND NIGHT (AND DAY)

Posted on August 24, 2014, at 12:11 a.m.

Warning: Graphic details follow. Not for the queasy. I’m serious. See below for the non-queasy beginning.

The first night after diagnosis was very rough. I spent six hours unable to urinate followed by a lot of blood. Health to non-health can be a fast trip. I landed back in the ER by morning. Upon entering the door of the ER, my symptoms abated. One who feels that bad wishes to have more evidence, but I was all better.

Still, it was a good idea to tell the doctor my woes to get his thoughts. After another round of tests to rule out infection, the doctor narrowed it down to two possibilities: blood clots blocking the urethra, or blood irritating the bladder. We chose option number two, as that had the least invasive remedy, and if option one was the correct cause, it would land me back in the ER to get a catheter.

Option two (irritated bladder) was treated with an over-the-counter medication found in the feminine hygiene aisle at Walmart. This is not a place we single guys generally frequent, at least not the ones I know. I found the medicine next to Monistat 7.

The meds helped a great deal but not completely. The day went well after I got out of the ER. I hope to stay flowing at least until the urology appointment Monday morning, hopefully longer.

Queasy People Can Start Here

In both visits to the ER, the doctors and nurses were great. They seemed genuinely concerned about me beyond their professional obligation to be concerned.

In general my emotional state is better than you might expect, but still, I am officially unhappy about the developments. I want a kidney removed followed by chemotherapy (the likely course), just as much as you do. Still, I could be in a considerably worse state. There have been a few flashes of real fear, but they passed quickly. Generally, I am doing pretty well.

I slept well the second night. This was a great blessing and relief. By day three (Saturday) I understood what I have seen in other cancer patients: true and deep gratitude for the help and support of everyone, and complete impatience with those same people. I have not become impatient yet, but I understand it. Today was pretty good.

Thanks to all who visited, prayed, called, or wrote. You texters need to read instructions.

9 Comments

Pat L. posted a comment on August 24, 2014

Praying for you, Mike. I love how you write; it is like hearing you talk. I appreciate that we can be updated on how you are doing and know how specifically to be praying. We will keep lifting you to the throne of grace so that you may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of your need (Hebrews 4:16). Love you, brother.

Stacey D. posted a