The Spousal Relationship: To Love and Be Loved Are the Deepest Human Needs

By Allan Russell Juriansz

Love can be observed in all life, but its much more than a sexual act.

The Spousal Relationship examines love and marriage from a Judeo-Christian perspective, noting that when hate takes hold, the results can be devastating. Loving God and humanity should always be supreme.

Whether partners are of the same sex or are heterosexual, the relationship between them is the all-important factor that exceeds the importance of the actual sex act. It is the strength of the spousal relationship that gives the sex act legitimacy.

If the spousal relationship is absent, the sex act is unlawful and deteriorates into abhorrence. Rushing into sex before marriage which is the promise of a dedicated monogamous spousal arrangement, can be unwise and hurtful.

Enduring love, loyalty, responsibility, and monogamous oneness constitute and solidify the spousal relationshipand its important to understand the obligations and responsibilities of Christians in spousal relationships throughout history.

Join the author as he examines marriage, considers same-sex love, and explores marriage from a Biblical perspective.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jun 19, 2017
• ISBN: 9781532024054

Allan Russell Juriansz

ALLAN RUSSELL JURIANSZ was born in Sri Lanka. He obtained a Bachelor of Education degree from Avondale University in Australia and then earned a medical degree at Australia’s Sydney University Medical School. He is a Fellow of the Royal College of Surgeons of Canada. He is retired from surgery but continues to see consultations in urology. He was married to the late Ruth Lesley O’Halloran for 49 years, and has four children and eight grandchildren.

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Copyright © 2017 Allan Juriansz.

Cover Picture: Pair of Trumpeter Swans

(Courtesy of Pixabay)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-2406-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-2407-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-2405-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017909477

iUniverse rev. date: 06/19/2017

Contents

Glossary

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction\

1 The Love of God

2 The Tanak (The Old Testament)

3 The B’rit Hadashah (The New Testament)

4 The Holy Scriptures—Are They Inerrant?

5 The Vicissitudes of the Holy Scriptures

6 The Priestly Scribes and Their Work

7 Jewish Halacha

8 Summary Judgments

9 The Spousal Relationship

10 The Tanakian Proscriptions of Criminal Homosexuality

11 The B’rit Hadashah Proscriptions of Criminal Homosexuality

12 Physiology, Biochemistry, and Embryology of Sexual Development

13 The Etiology of Sexual Orientation

14 Current Secular and Religious Views

15 Epilogue

Bibliography

To Ruth Lesley O’Halloran

my wife of forty-nine years

and

mother of our four children

Glossary

Tanak—Old Testament

B’rit Hadashah—New Testament

Devekut—close Communion with God

Talmud—combined Mishnah and Gemara (Bavli, or Babylonian Talmud, and Yerushalmi, or Jerusalem Talmud)

Pentateuch—the so-called five books of Moses: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy

Apocrypha—Biblical or related writings not forming part of the accepted canon of scripture

Pseudepigrapha—spurious or pseudonymous writings falsely attributed to another author

Grace—unmerited favor gifted by God

Gospel—good news

Euangelion—Greek for good news

Hellenism—the national character or culture of Ancient Greece

Halacha—Jewish rules for living

Kashrut—Jewish dietary laws

Tzedakah—charitable giving

Yeshua—Hebrew for Jesus

LGBT—abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender

Spouse—one of a pair of individuals who have an agreed contract to live together, including a sexual relationship

Aramaic—a Semitic language; a Syrian dialect which was used as a lingua franca in the Near East from the sixth century BC. It gradually replaced Hebrew as the language of the Jews until about the seventh century AD (Jesus spoke Aramaic but was fluent in Hebrew and possibly Greek.)

Burghers of Sri Lanka—a mixed race of people of colonial origin composed of Portuguese, Dutch, and British ancestry who were also intermarried with the indigenous Sinhalese and Tamils; with the British occupation, they spoke English; they were Christian and had a predominantly European culture, and they were intensely loyal to the British Crown

Multiverse—the cosmos as envisaged as being more than the single universe (There is mathematical and scientific evidence for this. The multiverse exists in limitless space.)

Preface

Love is the dominant emotion in the multiverse. Its opposite, hate, has historically devastated humanity on the planet. But love has survived and can be observed in all life. In the Judeo-Christian ethic, love for God and love for humanity are supreme. Love is expressed in different ways. To those who believe in God, His love is supreme and bonds them to Him. For those who do not have a concept of God, or deny His existence, there is no barrier to love and to be loved. God loves them without that love being requited. Love between parent and child has a splendor that the warmth of a home magnifies but the lack of which need not diminish. Love between friends can express itself with great strength: Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13 KJV). The same can be said of other love relationships.

In this book I will discuss the spousal relationship—a significant part of human love established at Creation. Spousal love is so strong that the partners bind their entire future lives together, and it is the only love that has a natural sexual expression included. All other love relationships do not naturally include a sex act.

The word spouse is derived from the Latin words "sponsus and sponsa, meaning betrothed man or woman. The word betroth simply means to promise by one’s truth" and does not logically or necessarily indicate an exclusive preference of masculine or feminine gender. When used in languages other than Latin, it acquires the additional meaning of marriage and is interpreted as an exclusive partnership between a man and a woman. Spousal love between a man and a woman ensures procreation. Spousal love between same-sex couples that conforms to a similar dedication of monogamy and lifelong partnership requires surrogates for procreation. This would be a parallel situation to an infertile husband and wife seeking progeny.

Sexual expression outside the confines of the spousal relationship can be classified as experimentation, casualness (dating), recreation and entertainment (pornography), fornication, incest, adultery, rape, pederasty, and pedophilic brutality, all of which are unacceptable in decent living. In recent times, researchers have described what has been named the third gender. This is a misnomer—a simplistic categorization of sexuality that is better defined as nonviolent pederasty. It is not a third gender. Here beautiful young effeminate postpubertal males, with or without bisexual tendencies, are preyed upon by older males and females. No coercion or violence appears to be involved here. This had rampant expression in Japan (wakashu) about 350 years ago and more recently has been observed in India (hijras), Nepal, Indonesia, indigenous America, and elsewhere. (See Morgan Holmes, Locating Third Sexes, published in Transformations Journal, July 2004). This category should not be confused with transgender, which is a genuine situation that persists into later adult life.

Parents do not want their children dabbling with sex with a partner until they are serious about love. Parents greatly desire stability for their children. Pederasty was famously accepted in Greek and Roman times, as was slavery, and no decent person will accept either in modern times. Neither should parents accept what I call, regarding this above misnamed ‘third gender,’ benign pederasty. The adjective benign may also be a misnomer here, since subsequent physical and mental trauma may ensue.

This book is being written with the aim of defining spousal love. Because it includes same-sex couples in the lawful expression of sexual love, it will have to overcome the usual objections to benign same-sex relationships. This is a tall order when one considers the religious taboos and objections. Modern Western secular life and some religious persuasions have chosen to recognize the lawfulness of benign same-sex relationships, and not too soon, considering the gravity of the historic cruelty already inflicted.

At the outset, without reference to religious taboos, I insist that this defense of benign same-sex spousal sexuality should not be included within the category of rampant criminal homosexuality. Indeed, the defense of heterosexual spousal sexuality also excludes rampant criminal heterosexual expression. Unbridled homosexuality and unbridled heterosexuality outside the spousal relationship are abhorrent and indefensible and have already been defined above.

The spousal relationship is much more than the expression of a sex act between two people. The orgasm achieved is a bodily function procured by the flesh and the mind—the ecstatic experience of the joined couple. Whether partners are of the same sex or are heterosexual, the relationship between them is the all-important factor that exceeds the importance of the actual sex act. That relationship is the fulfilment of the deepest human needs to love and be loved. The strength of the spousal relationship gives the sex act legitimacy. If a spousal relationship is absent, the sex act is unlawful and deteriorates into abhorrence. It is the promised enduring love, commitment, loyalty, responsibility, and monogamous oneness that constitute and solidify this relationship. Some have advocated trial relationships to ensure compatibility, and this is seen in increasing frequency in Western society today. There is no perfect compatibility, and compromise is indeed an important ingredient in any spousal relationship. I see pros and cons to this arrangement, but at the present time, this trial arrangement qualifies as experimental. The jury is still out on this. Rushing into the sex act before other priorities are considered and met is unwise and unethical, and it soon becomes hurtful.

In this book I will discuss the feasibility and blessedness of the spousal relationship within the Judeo-Christian ethic. It will be an immense religious discussion within primitive redemptive Judaism, which I consider is the same religion in continuum with primitive redemptive Christianity. The Pentateuchal and Pauline proscriptions of homosexuality I see as identical, except that Paul recognized lesbianism while the Pentateuch is silent about it. Sexuality will be discussed within the milieu of Creation and Redemption. The Tanakian (Old Testament) idea of life and love is congruent with that of the B’rit Hadashah (New Testament). The religious discussion will seem tedious to some. I do not apologize to my secular readers for this religious orientation, as the objections to the same-sex spousal relationship come mainly from the religious sectors of society. I seek to placate them and convince them of their prejudices.

In this day and age, the religious objectors cannot assume a selfish exclusive monopoly on sexuality. They view heterosexuality as being normal and legal and the only sexuality that should be allowed to exist. The true same-sex lover just happens to have no desire for the opposite sex. It happens to be just as normal to be attracted to the same sex without a criminal intention. Sexual orientation, both heterosexual and homosexual, results from several complicated factors still to be perfectly identified and defined scientifically. I believe these factors will soon be proved. There is no proof that heterosexual orientation happens by nature or nurture. There is no essential need to wait for the proof, because the heterosexual orientation exists quite naturally and lawfully. So does the empiric homosexual orientation. The lack of accommodation for the same-sex spousal relationship has historically resulted in criminal offences against law-abiding homosexuals. They are exercising their God-given right to love and be loved in a spousal relationship, just as heterosexuals do. He that loveth not knoweth not God for God is love (1 John 4:8 KJV). This may be an empiric statement that describes an ordinary asexual love. Although this contains the primary injunction for us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and logically does not include the sex act, I believe it also is fulfilled very exuberantly in spousal loving. God regards humanity as His spouse in a great love relationship—in an ecstasy much greater than the human sex act. The Biblical books of Song of Songs, Hosea, and The Gospel and Epistles of John greatly emphasize our love relationship with God. The strength of His love is enormous and is magnified in our redemption.

Because there is opposition from the orthodox segments of Judaism and Christianity on religious grounds, I am creating a critical review of the biblical literature and rationale for the proscription of the same-sex sex act. Every individual deserves to rejoice and sing throughout life in a happy human spousal companionship that is truly satisfying.

My training as a medical doctor and specialization as a urological surgeon, and my belief in God, qualify me to write on this issue. I consider myself a man of science, and I am also steeped in Judeo-Christianity. My patients with sexual problems have given me perspectives that I have combined with my deep Judeo-Christian faith. I see the largeness of God’s heart and the mighty provisions of His love for every human born on the planet. Healing and redeeming are His current distraught occupations. He will make all things new.

I approach this subject as a devout believer in God as Creator and Redeemer. I also believe in the Holy Scriptures here defined as the human record of our conversation with God. That conversation is not totally coherent or inerrant, because humans are not perfect in understanding God. The Children of Abraham have led the way in defining our relationship with God. Every author of the Biblical writings was a Jew. I do not have to apologize to anyone for my belief in God. I request tolerance. I stand to be corrected but not disregarded.

—Allan Russell Juriansz

Acknowledgments

I wish to thank iUniverse for very valuable editorial assistance.

I have written this small book fully conscious of my religious and cultural background. I am the product of a very strong Judeo-Christian heritage. I was born a burgher of mixed blood in Sri Lanka, where Britain ruled colonially for 150 years until 1948. I value this British culture, and I am very loyal to the British Crown. I admire British democracy. I have reaped the benefits of spending