Dear Lord, Where Are You?: A Handbook for Students Seeking Christ in College

By Jason Curry PhD

This book is primarily intended for college students who are seeking to understand the Christian faith and to utilize resources within the Christian faith (e.g., the Bible and prayer) as they matriculate through college. The book is also intended to be used by high school students as well as divinity school students who are raising questions about their Christian journey and are interested in participating in a campus ministry. Lastly, this book will be of interest to university and college chaplains, pastors, youth workers, student affairs professionals, as well as professors who are interested in the pastoral care of young adults.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 16, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543430394

Jason Curry PhD

The Reverend Dr. Jason Richard Curry serves as the Dean of the Fisk Memorial Chapel, the Director of Religious Life, an Assistant Professor of Psychology and the Associate Vice President for Institutional Effectiveness and Accreditations at Fisk University. He has served as Dean of the Fisk Memorial Chapel for thirteen years. Dean Curry has also been a Senior Pastor and a Youth Minister. He is married to Mrs. Angela G. Curry, Esq. They are the proud parents of three children: John, Sam and Nia Curry.

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Copyright © 2017 by The Reverend Jason Richard Curry, PhD.

ISBN:      Softcover   978-1-5434-3040-0

                eBook      978-1-5434-3039-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

Rev. date: 06/16/2017

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Contents

Chapter 1 Establishing Priorities: Loving God With All Of Your Heart

1.   A Few Questions For Consideration

2.   Human Beings Have Always Worshipped God And The Reason For This Book

3.   Is It In Our Self-Interest To Worship God? Questions For Consideration

4.   Four Reasons Why God Should Be On Your Collegiate List Of Priorities

5.   Reason #1: God Is A Psychological Resource (God Helps Us To Do Things That Make Sense)

6.   Reason #2: God Is An Emotional Resource (God Helps Us To Cope)

7.   Reason #3: God Is A Spiritual Resource (God Provides Us With Spiritual Strength)

8.   Reason #4: You Can Get Strength From The House Of God, Which Is The Church

9.   Summary

Chapter 2 Loving Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself

1.   Love Is In The Air!

2.   Does Jesus Say Anything About This Idea Of Love Toward Others?

3.   Agape, Philia, And Eros: Which Love Is Present In Your Life

4.   Avoiding The Confusion Between Philia And Eros: Putting Sex In Its Proper Place

5.   Identifying And Maintaining Healthy, Christian Relationships

6.   Expanding Our Concept Of Philia: Who Is Our Neighbor?

7.   Summary

Chapter 3 Keeping God First: Managing Our Finances

1.   Why This Chapter? Meet The Overdraft King

2.   Becoming Financially Stable: Asking Ourselves The Difficult Questions

3.   What Is Tithing? Looking To The Bible For Answers

4.   Gaining A Sense Of Financial Peace: Tithing As The First Step

5.   Practical Steps #1: How To Tithe

6.   Practical Steps #2: Where To Tithe

7.   Practical Steps #3: When To Tithe

8.   Avoiding Idols: What Does Jesus Say About Money?

9.   Summary

Chapter 4 Beginning Early And Finishing Strong: Religious Life During Your Freshman Year

1.   A Short Story: George And Rolling Back The Hands Of Time

2.   Introduction

3.   This Chapter Is For Freshman: Making The Spiritual Investment

4.   Finding The Right Christian Student Group: Conducting An Informal Assessment

5.   Do The Right Thing: Embracing Christian Groups That Are In Accord With University Policy

6.   Making Wise Decisions: Avoiding Cults And Embracing Christ

7.   Summary

Chapter 5 Avoiding The Rocks, The Thorns, And The Side Of The Road In College

1.   Introduction: The Parable Of The Sower And The Life Of The College Student

2.   Where Are God’s Seeds In My Life? The Purpose Of The Next Three Chapters

3.   Seeds That Fell Along The Road: Advice For College Students Thinking About Accepting Christ

4.   False Assumption #1: Life Without Christ Is Better Than Life With Christ

5.   False Assumption #2: The Church Is Spiritual Home For People Who Are Well

6.   False Assumption #3: God Appears To Be Unconcerned With Evil And The Suffering People Of This World

Chapter 6 Advice For Students Who Have Recently Accepted Christ

1.   The Purpose Of This Chapter

2.   For We Walk By Faith, Not By Sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)

3.   Raising Questions About Current Relationships With Christians And Non-Christians

4.   Final Suggestions For New Christians: #1 Stay Active And Keep Your Bible Open

5.   Final Suggestions For New Christians: #2 Stay Committed Because Many Will Turn Back And There Is A Blessing For You

6.   Final Suggestions For New Christians: #3 Remain Prayerful Because You Can’t Physically Help Everyone You Want To Help

7.   Summary

Chapter 7 Advice For Students Who Have Been Christians For Years

1.   Reaching Your Divine Potential: An Introduction For The Seasoned Christian Student

2.   Moving Beyond The Worship Experience: Expanding Your Christian Horizons

3.   When The Thorns Are Close To Us: Dealing With Home Problems That Affect Our Faith

4.   When The Thorns Are In The Classroom: Dealing With Coursework That Challenges Or Denies The Existence Of God

5.   Finding Fertile Ground: Establishing A Christian Legacy

6.   Summary

Chapter 8 Advice For Students Who Are Interested In Dating And Marriage

1.   An Introduction To Marriage: Observations From A Professor And Chaplain

2.   Relationships 101: The Christian Message And Marriage

3.   Relationships 201: Becoming The Person You Want To Marry

4.   Relationships 301: Suggestions For Finding An Ideal Spouse

5.   Relationships 401: The Importance Of Forgiveness And Reaching A Compromise

6.   Summary

Chapter 9 Maintaining A Relationship With God After College

1.   A Bittersweet Goodbye: Preparing For A Relationship With God After College

2.   There’s No Middle Ground, So Let’s Get Stronger!

3.   Nurturing Your Call To The Ministry: Doing At Age Twenty-Two What May Be A Problem At Forty-Two

4.   Finding The Right Ministry After College: Practical Steps

5.   If God Is Getting In The Way Of Your Career Choice, Check Your Career

6.   Concluding Thoughts: Remember That God Loves You And Will Always Love You

Chapter 1

Establishing Priorities: Loving God with All of Your Heart

Everything seems to be a priority in college. When you arrive on campus at the beginning of the fall semester, making sure that you have the correct dormitory room and the right roommate is a priority. Everyone desperately tries to avoid the roommate who stays awake all night watching action movies while eating an unbelievably, huge and crunchy bag of potato chips! Going by the registrar’s office to make sure that you’ve selected the appropriate courses for the semester is a priority. Everyone has heard the dreadful stories about the handful of college students who had to remain in school another year just because they neglected to take a course that is only offered once a year. Yes, we should pray for them, as well pray for ourselves in this area! Ensuring that you see your friends, or, if you’re a freshman, making new friends is also a priority. After all, if you can’t have some fun college, what’s the point of enrolling semester after semester! Making sure that you have enough money in your bank account for the entire semester—well, maybe just the entire week—must certainly be a priority! If possible, you would really like to avoid working in the subbasement of the library, at the local fast-food restaurant, as a babysitter, or as a minimum-wage dog-walker in order to be able to buy a brand-new pair of jeans on the weekends! Getting the schedule for all of your favorite extracurricular events is a priority. Attending basketball games, football games, the Spanish Club meetings, the Pre-law Club meetings, the Pre-dental Club meetings, and all of the clubs-that-are-sure-to-get-you-into-an-amazing-graduate-school meetings must definitely be a priority! Every student who enters into or matriculates through college has a set of priorities. These priorities may be clearly articulated and succinctly expressed on a small sheet of paper, or these priorities may be vague and difficult to express in a conversation or in writing. I remember asking a student the following questions about ten years ago when I was fairly new to my position in the chapel. I said, Bill, it was great to see you in chapel. What are your priorities in school?

After a ten-second awkward pause, which (1) made me feel a slight, anxiety rush, which was sure to turn my face red with embarrassment in another ten seconds, and (2) made him nervous about answering a simple question that apparently wasn’t so simple, he said, Dean, I really don’t know. I came to college to get a job after I graduated, but beyond that, I’m not sure what my first, second, or third priorities should be at college. Even though (1) I wished, as the new chaplain, that I could crawl under the concrete sidewalk after asking the question because these important questions made him uncomfortable, and (2) he wished that he could get as far away from the campus preacher as possible after hearing the question, we both realized that those were great questions! Over the course of time, we had a series of great conversations about his priorities in college. He and I also realized that growing a closer relationship with God should be listed somewhere among his priorities at college.

I have asked students about their priorities in college for more than ten years. To say the least, I experience less anxiety about asking them questions about their priorities, and surprisingly, students feel a little less anxiety about answering questions regarding their priorities. In my casual conversation with students, I have noticed that most of them have had a relationship with God prior to coming to college. As a result of successful Christian education programs such as Sunday school and weekly Bible study lessons, many students have formed a relationship with God that is expressed through daily prayer, the studying of God’s word through weekly meetings on campus with student organizations, and attending chapel services or religious services throughout the city on Sunday morning. Continuing to have a relatively strong and fruitful relationship with God is somewhere on their list of priorities; however, it is unclear to me and to them if God is number 1 or number 10 on the list. If you are not sure if God is number 1 or number 10 on your list of priorities, then this chapter is definitely for you. One of my strategic initiatives as dean of the chapel is to encourage students to see the value and corresponding results of placing God at the top of their list of priorities. After all, the number 1 spot in sports, academics, and the arts is always reserved for the best! God is awesome, and throughout this chapter, I will make the case that God, the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2), should always occupy this number 1 spot on your list of priorities during your collegiate years.

A Few Questions for Consideration

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that there are students who (1) do not have a longstanding relationship with God, or (2) do not have a relationship with God at all. Many of the students who fall within these two categories do not attend weekly, religious meetings on or off campus. In our casual conversations about their priorities on campus, God, spirituality, or religion is, unfortunately, rarely mentioned on their Top 10 List of College Priorities. Interestingly enough, I found that students often want to talk about God even if they say that God is not a priority in their lives. Throughout the course of my conversations with these students, I say, I understand your perspective; however, when I was a college student eons ago, I found God to be a tremendous resource for me and hence a priority at college. I accepted my call to the Christian ministry at college. Some of the people who insist that God should not be priority in their lives believe that God is static and motionless, instead of dynamic and active in the lives of people. If God doesn’t do anything for people, then the act of getting to know God will certainly not be priority for people. When people truly understand that God loves them, cares for them, intervenes in human affairs, and provides for them, God quickly shoots up to the top of their list of priorities! As you consider making God a priority in your life or keeping God on your list of priorities, please keep the following questions in mind: Is forming a deeper relationship with God while I am in college somewhere on my top 10 list of college priorities at college? If so, where is God on the list? If not, why isn’t God on the list?" I believe that you will have answers to these important questions by the time that you finish reading this chapter. One of my goals is to help you put God on the list, keep God on the list, and/or move God up the list depending on where you are on your spiritual journey! In order for you and me to accomplish our mutual goals, I think that it is important to briefly explain from a historical and psychological perspective why people have felt the need to make God a priority in their lives.

Human Beings Have Always Worshipped God and the Reason for This Book

There are lots of books that give detailed accounts about how and why people have worshipped God for thousands of years. The Bible, which is our map for seeing how God has moved throughout history, is composed of the Old Testament and the New Testament. The ministry and teachings of Jesus, who is the son of God (John 3:16) and our Lord and Savior (2 Peter 3:18), are recorded in the New Testament section of the Bible; however, the act of worshipping God actually predates the arrival of Jesus Christ in history! For example, in the Old Testament part of the Bible, which is older than the New Testament section of the Bible, we read that God’s servant named Moses worshipped God thousands of years before the birth of Jesus Christ. According to Exodus 34:8–9, Moses bowed to the ground at once and worshipped. ‘Lord,’ he said, ‘if I have found favor in your eyes, then let the Lord go with us…’ In short, people like Moses have worshipped God for thousands of years because they had a spiritual need to worship God.

As a pastor in a university community, one of my responsibilities is to assist, listen to, advise, and provide assistance to individuals and organizations of different faiths (e.g., members of the Muslim community at the university). I enjoy working with people of various faiths, and I look forward to providing advice and logistical support (e.g., they may need assistance in requisitioning room to host their events) to these organizations so that they can fulfill their mission statement and carry out their agendas. After all, God loves people, and Jesus helped people (like the woman of Samaria in John 4) who were not Christians. However, this book is primarily written for people who are interested in growing in Christ. Yes, it is for people like you! There are many gods (Exodus 20:3); however, my goal is to help you form or grow in your relationship with the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (see Exodus 3:6 and Matthew 22:32) who is also the father of our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ (see Matthew 6:9 and John 3:16). The act of worshipping God from a Christian perspective is never an occasion to denigrate people of other religious faiths. Worshipping God from a Christian perspective is an occasion to become a member of a great spiritual tradition, which has helped generations of individuals, couples and families for thousands of years. If you are new to the Christian faith, I personally welcome you to this great tradition! I also invite you to wholeheartedly embrace a tremendous legacy of worship and service that has sustained people and communities in the United States and around the world.

Is It in Our Self-Interest to Worship God? Questions for Consideration

We are fortunate to live in a world in which many people engage in selfless and sacrificial acts of goodwill in order to help others. For example, there are people who voluntarily enlist in the armed service (e.g., army, navy, air force, and marines) in order to protect the citizens of the United States of America. These brave individuals necessarily put themselves in harm’s way in order to protect the interests of America as well as the people within it. However, there are also a considerable number of people who are not interested in helping others. In short, they are only interested in having their needs met. I used to listen to a hip-hop group twenty, okay, thirty years ago, named De La Soul, who said people were only concerned with Me, Myself and I. Their video was funny, but their point was well taken: For a variety of different reasons, people are often preoccupied with their own self-interests. The musical group’s point also finds validity in the social sciences with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The famous sociologist maintained that the physical needs of people must be